"Househusband guidance? Kirisu-sensei, don't tell me you want me to go to your house, so you can teach me how to cook and do chores?"
Hachiman froze for a moment, staring at Kirisu Mafuyu with a strange expression.
Could it be that Kirisu Mafuyu wanted to trick him into cleaning her house under the guise of "guidance"?
He knew very well that Kirisu Mafuyu only looked perfect on the outside. In reality, she was hopeless at housework, comparable to Gabriel in her "fallen angel" form.
"Ahem! It's not that I can't teach you if you really want me to, but what I meant was, being a househusband also requires study. You have to get into a good university. Otherwise, how will you find a wife willing to let you stay home as one?"
Hearing Hikigaya mention going to her house, Kirisu Mafuyu's expression stiffened. She almost lost her composure, coughed lightly, and struggled to keep a serious face.
She didn't know that Hachiman had already seen through her, so she tried to maintain her teacherly dignity.
"What? What? Wife? Husband? Kirisu-sensei, what kind of topic are you two talking about?"
Mizuho Kagami, who had just finished chatting with the other teachers, walked over. Hearing the key words in Kirisu Mafuyu's sentence, her eyes lit up with excitement as she looked at Hikigaya sitting in Kirisu's chair.
She thought it was just normal student counseling, but it sounded like she had stumbled onto a huge secret.
"Kirisu-sensei just said she wants me to go to her house, to teach me how to be a qualified househusband and help me find the right wife."
Hikigaya smiled as he explained to Mizuho Kagami, who was walking over.
Her silky, wine-red hair draped over her shoulders. A cute, cheerful smile brightened her pretty face. Her full, toned, long legs were wrapped in knee-high socks, and her shirt outlined a firm, curvy figure.
She was attractive, but honestly, most of the teachers he remembered clearly were all this well-built. He couldn't even recall which one of them had been in his "post-nut mode" fantasies before.
"Ah? So it's just that?", Mizuho Kagami sounded disappointed after hearing his explanation.
She'd thought that the normally cold and untouchable Kirisu-sensei secretly had a forbidden, contrasting persona behind the scenes.
"Wait, when did I ever say I wanted you to come to my house? And I never said I'd help you find a wife, Hikigaya!", Kirisu Mafuyu's face tightened. Seeing Hikigaya spouting nonsense in front of other teachers, she hurried to correct him.
She only wanted to help improve his grades so he could more easily find someone willing to marry him, not to personally help him find a wife.
Let alone invite him to her house.
"Kirisu-sensei, didn't you just say you wanted me to come over for guidance?", Hikigaya looked at the panicking Kirisu Mafuyu and instantly felt a wave of satisfaction.
She wanted to visit his house for a home inspection, huh? Then he'd just visit her house first.
Let's see who gets embarrassed.
"I-I only said it was possible, not that you should come!", Kirisu Mafuyu panicked when she realized Hikigaya actually intended to go to her home.
Absolutely not! If Hikigaya came over, her teacherly dignity would crumble to dust.
"Hmm?"
Watching the two contradict each other, Mizuho Kagami's suspicion grew. Her gaze darted back and forth between calm-faced Hikigaya and flustered Kirisu Mafuyu.
'Could it be… I was right all along?'
'So suspicious! Way too suspicious!'
"Anyway... we'll talk about the househusband guidance later. For now, let's discuss how to improve your grades, Hikigaya. Mizuho-sensei, you can help tutor him too."
Kirisu Mafuyu wanted to explain that Hikigaya had completely twisted her words, but seeing the gossiping gleam in Mizuho Kagami's eyes, she knew there was no way to clear it up now. So she awkwardly changed the subject.
If she actually could do housework or cook, she wouldn't mind Hikigaya coming over to learn. After all, she lived near teachers Chabashira Sae and Hoshinomiya Chie, on the same floor, even. With so many female teachers and students around, nobody would dare gossip.
But unfortunately, she was terrible at housework. Absolutely hopeless, in fact.
She even had to politely decline when Hoshinomiya Chie invited her for drinks. There was no way she'd let Hikigaya, a student who constantly talked back to her, enter her apartment.
That kind of thing was strictly forbidden.
"As for your grades... Hikigaya-kun, how are your Japanese and world history scores? If you need, you can drop by the office often to ask questions. Kirisu-sensei and I can both tutor you."
Seeing that Kirisu Mafuyu clearly didn't want to keep talking about before, Mizuho Kagami followed her lead and turned to Hikigaya.
As a young, new teacher, Mizuho Kagami had plenty of free time after class besides helping students with their questions. She often gossiped with other female teachers her age, chatting with Ebihara Urara about her successful, ambitious fiancé and dreaming of her own romance someday.
Whispering complaints about the disciplinary head with Hanamori Kotomi and Kashima Risako.
Talking with Hiratsuka Shizuka about troublesome students.
Sometimes she'd even pop into other teachers' offices to chat.
But Kirisu Mafuyu was a rare exception. Despite sitting next to her for so long, Mizuho Kagami could never get close, Kirisu treated everyone with the same cold distance.
Now that she noticed Kirisu Mafuyu seemed to have some special connection with a student, she was very interested!
"It's not about grades. Hikigaya's humanities subjects are excellent, but his science grades are relatively poor."
Kirisu Mafuyu sighed helplessly at how much more interested Mizuho Kagami seemed in Hikigaya than she herself was, but at least they weren't talking about housework anymore.
"I called him here mainly because his attitude toward studying is bad."
"His career goal is to be a househusband, but with so long until graduation, he already skips class all the time. Even when he does attend, he doesn't pay attention, just passes notes with the girl next to him."
Hikigaya wasn't in the graduating class, so grade imbalance wasn't urgent. But his attitude, that was a problem.
No matter what career you wanted, focusing on your studies was always important. Running around all day skipping class didn't look like "preparing for the future."
"Househusband? That's quite an unusual career goal," Mizuho Kagami blinked at Hikigaya, surprised.
"But my housework skills are average. I'm not as capable as Kirisu-sensei, so I can't really guide Hikigaya-kun in that area."
"You can still come to me for Japanese history. As for your science subjects… maybe you could ask Matsubara-sensei or Satou-sensei, eh? Satou-sensei? What's wrong?"
Mizuho Kagami, her left arm folded under her chest and her right hand propping her chin, lightly tapped her pink lips with her finger as she turned toward the other teachers' desks.
When her gaze reached the far corner, her eyes widened. She quickly jogged over.
"N-no, I'm fine…", Satou Sakie, wearing a red tracksuit, was slumped over her desk, her purple ponytail hanging down her back.
Hearing footsteps approach, she weakly lifted a trembling hand and waved.
"Satou-sensei, should I take you to the nurse's office?"
Mizuho Kagami frowned, seeing the unnatural flush on Satou's pale neck, her trembling body, and the audible, heavy breathing, there was no way she was "fine."
But as she reached out to help her, Satou panicked and slapped her hand away.
"Sorry! I'm going to the bathroom!"
In one motion, Satou pushed herself up and bolted toward the door like she was escaping.
Strangely, she didn't take the shortest path out. Instead, she looped around the room to avoid everyone, staggering as she ran out of the office.
Just then, Usui Makoto walked in carrying a stack of papers. She paused, watching Satou leave with a puzzled expression. Taking a deep breath, she calmed the sudden urge to activate her empathic collar.
She spotted Hikigaya-kun sitting there with Kirisu Mafuyu. Activating it now wouldn't do anything. After all, Hikigaya and Kirisu didn't have that kind of relationship.
Mizuho Kagami stood frozen, staring at her hand that Satou had slapped away.
"Kagami? Satou-sensei's probably just not feeling well. She doesn't like physical contact with others, don't take it personally."
Sitting nearby, the calm, refined black-haired teacher Ebihara Urara spoke softly, trying to comfort her.
Satou-sensei always dressed plainly, wearing tracksuits daily. She clearly had a kind of germophobia and hated being touched—by anyone, male or female alike.
Along with Kirisu Mafuyu, who only cared about grades, she was one of the two hardest teachers to get close to in the office.
Not bad people, just distant and unapproachable.
"N-no, it's fine... thank you, Urara-sensei."
Mizuho Kagami snapped out of her daze, pressed her hot cheeks with both hands, and turned to look at Hikigaya sitting at her desk. Her breathing quickened as she slowly walked back, her heavy steps echoing softly.
Ebihara Urara blinked at her odd behavior but didn't dwell on it. She glanced down at her phone, her gentle features faintly showing worry.
As one of the few teachers in the office who had a fiancé, she was often asked about him.
But only she knew, her "young, successful entrepreneur fiancé" hadn't replied to any of her messages or calls lately.
It was like he had vanished into thin air.
———
Mizuho Kagami slowly walked up beside Kirisu Mafuyu, glancing at the strangely magnetic Hachiman. Her breathing quickened again as she swallowed hard and pulled a chair next to Kirisu, sitting down face-to-face with him.
Kirisu took one look at Kagami, who had finally gone quiet, then turned back to continue lecturing Hikigaya.
"Hikigaya, it's not that I look down on your goal of becoming a househusband. In fact, I respect men who ignore social judgment and take care of the household."
"But if you want to find an excellent wife, one who'll let you support her as a househusband, your current attitude won't cut it."
"I understand you're at that restless age. Many girls in class are pretty, and it's normal to get distracted."
"But if you don't work hard to improve yourself, how will you even meet amazing girls, get along with them, and find the right one for you?"
As someone who was hopeless at housework, Kirisu genuinely admired people with strong domestic skills, male or female.
But sadly, that kind of skill wasn't much of a charm point and wasn't easily noticed.
So now she had to appeal to his emotions and reason, making him realize how important studying was, for the sake of finding a great wife.
She'd met plenty of girls who dreamed of being housewives, but Hikigaya was the first boy who wanted to be a househusband. The logic, though, was the same: only by improving yourself could you meet someone better.
"How should I put this… Kirisu-sensei, I think you're misunderstanding. Actually, I already know quite a few excellent girls, and I get along with them pretty well."
Watching this total housework disaster lecture him so earnestly, Hikigaya couldn't help but find it funny. Next time he visited Kei, maybe he'd drop by for a surprise "home visit" to Kirisu's apartment, too.
But for now, he decided to make it clear, he was working hard in his own way.
"You mean Tenma-san? Or Ichinose-san? They're just your seatmates. They might be friendly, but that doesn't mean they like you, or that they'd accept your dream of being a househusband."
Kirisu knew he often passed notes with Gabriel Tenma and Ichinose Honami in class, but she didn't believe he could be openly two-timing. At most, she thought there was mutual fondness.
"I don't approve of early romance, but I don't oppose it either. If you truly like one of them, that's even more reason to work hard."
"Once you improve yourself, you'll find not just girls in your class, but even girls across the school will want to be friends with you."
"Uh... Kirisu-sensei, I totally agree with that."
Seeing Kirisu trying every trick in the book to inspire him to study, Hikigaya smiled.
"But actually, I also know a few girls from other classes."
Before Kirisu could respond, Hikigaya stood up and waved.
"Ayano, Ryou, Saki, Makoto, can you come over for a sec?"
"M-me? Manager Hachiman, are you calling me?"
The gloomy, long-haired swimming club member Uenohara Ayano pointed at herself uncertainly.
"Hm? Hachiman?"
Yamada Ryou, munching on snacks with the kind but airheaded blue-haired teacher Kashima Risako, looked up in confusion.
"I'm coming!"
Asai Saki, the outwardly pure, inwardly pervy discipline committee girl, was thrilled. She'd already noticed Hikigaya in the office but didn't dare approach. Now that he'd called, she hurried right over. If she played her cards right, maybe he'd let her "discipline" him again after school.
"Hmm…"
Usui Makoto, who had just finished turning in homework, turned back toward him too.
She'd seen Hikigaya-kun when she came in but hadn't said hi since he was talking to teachers. Now that he called her over, of course she had to see what was going on.
[🎉 Shoutout to Acheron13, LightEvil, Amirul, Benedict, Jordan, Cameron & Jerome for joining p@treon. There is also a discount event ongoing till 6 November 12.00 P.M. Thank you very much.🤗]