"Do you think I should come up with a more creative way to let Voldemort get the Elder Wand? Maybe I should die a little?" Dumbledore said faintly.
"Fake your death?" Kasenhis asked.
Dumbledore shrugged.
"So you actually wanted me to die for real?"
"Oh... no, that's not what I meant. I just mean this kind of trick has already been done to death in England. I had a friend who once faked his death in front of another friend of mine. When the fake death ended and he made his grand return, he went through three restaurants in one night and got punched three times by one of his friends. It looked painful as hell," Kasenhis explained faintly.
"Ah... forget it. We can slowly think about this later, can't we? Voldemort still has quite a while before he'll confront Harry directly."
Dumbledore awkwardly shifted the topic elsewhere.
Kasenhis curled his lip.
Then what was he still doing here?
Rather than sit around trading nonsense with Dumbledore, he might as well go back and play with the Ender Dragon.
In some ways, the Ender Dragon was much more understanding than Dumbledore.
Kasenhis reached the third floor and pushed open the door to his office.
Hmm...
Better use Ender Blink.
He blinked back to his desk and looked toward the dragon perch beside it.
...
Where was the dragon?
Fortunately, Kasenhis didn't need even a second to think about that question.
He rummaged through the liquor cabinet, pulled out a bottle of alcohol, then blinked out of Hogwarts Castle and leisurely made his way toward Hagrid's hut.
Knock, knock, knock.
"Coming, coming."
A few seconds after Hagrid's voice sounded, the door finally opened.
Kasenhis looked him up and down.
"What's with this getup? Why are you wearing an apron?"
"Oh, I looked up what dragons like to eat in some books, so I decided to cook something nice for the Ender Dragon."
Hagrid wiped his hands on his apron.
Two enormous bloody handprints immediately smeared across it.
"You really do treat him well. I usually just swipe some phoenix feed from Dumbledore and mix it with Ender Pearls and chorus fruit for him," Kasenhis sighed.
He felt like a single parent who had somehow found a new partner who loved his child even more than he did.
The feeling was incredibly strange.
"I don't know what chorus fruit is, but the Ender Dragon really does like the food I make," Hagrid said as he hummed and headed back toward the kitchen.
Hearing that made Kasenhis curious.
What exactly had Hagrid cooked that the Ender Dragon liked so much?
Then he saw a mousepad and a mouse sitting on the table.
Both were black and purple.
At first, Kasenhis assumed they were just computer peripherals Sirius had given Hagrid.
Then he suddenly froze.
Wait...
Why would Hogwarts have something like that?
Kasenhis walked over in complete confusion.
Then he realised what the mousepad and mouse actually were.
It was the Ender Dragon.
The little dragon had eaten until its belly was perfectly round and was now lying sprawled on its back across the table, completely stuffed.
"Haaah..."
Kasenhis helplessly rubbed his chin.
Just how delicious was whatever Hagrid had made to leave the Ender Dragon this full?
"Should I try a little too? I do have Ender blood in me, after all. Maybe..."
Muttering to himself, Kasenhis headed toward the kitchen.
"Hagrid, let me see what delicious thing you're making. What the fuck is that?!"
The moment Kasenhis stepped into the kitchen, he completely lost it, staring dumbfounded at the enormous pile of meat on the counter.
"Did you kill your brother?" Kasenhis asked in utter bewilderment.
"How could I? I saw this famous dish in a dragon cookbook. It's supposed to be a delicacy as precious as pearls to dragons. Hippo Stir-Fried with Elephant. I just haven't finished cutting up all the meat yet."
As Hagrid spoke, he picked up the knife again and continued chopping.
"But the Ender Dragon's stomach is already that swollen. Even if you're going to make it, there's no need to do it today, right?" Kasenhis asked.
"Oh, the Ender Dragon's belly didn't get like that from eating," Hagrid explained.
"Then why is it so big?" Kasenhis asked.
Hagrid kept cutting without missing a beat and shrugged.
"Little tummy wiggling around is so cute."
For a moment, Kasenhis seemed to lose all colour as cracks spread across his entire body.
"Are those even human words?"
Hagrid glanced back at Kasenhis, completely failing to understand his reaction.
"Why wouldn't they be? He ate too much of that stuff, so his belly puffed up."
Kasenhis nodded.
He understood.
Then he slowly pulled a massive hammer out of his robes.
"He ate an entire bottle of Appetite Fruit in one go. I'll have to go buy some more this afternoon. Can't rely on Snape or Slughorn to make everything for me, can I?"
Hagrid still hadn't noticed the danger and continued talking to himself.
Kasenhis abruptly stopped pulling out the hammer.
"Hiss... what exactly is Appetite Fruit?"
Hagrid pointed toward the living room.
"It's that 'Little Tummy Wiggling Around Is So Cute' stuff. The bottle's sitting on the table. It's a natural appetite-enhancing fruit that gives magical creatures more energy and helps the little darlings eat more."
Kasenhis suspiciously walked out of the kitchen and looked at the white bottle.
The label openly and proudly read...
Little Tummy Wiggling Around Is So Cute.
"What fucking genius blessed with world-shaking wisdom came up with this name?"
Kasenhis held the bottle in his hand and suddenly felt that the world had become very strange.
It was like some bizarre fantasy where a little boy walking home from school was suddenly surrounded from every direction by four older girls, lured home with a 5080, and then forced to cosplay being torn apart by four horses right before losing consciousness.
"What kind of fucking genius comes up with a name like this? You evil little bastard. Once I find you, I'm going to personally..."
Kasenhis squeezed the bottle until it bent into the shape of an hourglass.
Then he went back to see whether Hagrid's Hippo Stir-Fried with Elephant was ready yet.
He had been getting a little tired of the Hogwarts food lately anyway. Trying something new sounded good.
"Want me to get you some seasoning?" Kasenhis asked.
"No need, no need. I've already prepared everything."
With that, Hagrid pulled out his wand and used a Levitation Charm to float the enormous pile of sliced meat out of the kitchen.
A gigantic astronomical telescope had already been set up in the backyard.
Oh, no.
It was a gigantic cooking pot.
"Kasenhis, light the fire!" Hagrid shouted as he dumped all the meat into the pot.
"Holy shit, this is badass."
The corner of Kasenhis's mouth twitched as more and more flames rose from his hands and poured into the pit beneath the pot.
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