Instead of immediately giving chase I calmly walk over to the buffet and load up a plate.
"You're not going to chase them?" A familiar voice says from way too close to me.
...
"Hello Maiko. I'm going to let them stew for a bit, I came here for food. And have you heard of personal space?" We're practically rubbing shoulders.
"We were much closer last time." She purrs. "Anyways I wanted to ask you some things about that conversation."
"Alright. I can't promise I will answer but I will at least hear them." I lead us over to an empty section of the table. Instead of sitting across from me, like a normal person would, she sits down right next to me. Literally. She's even leaning into me. "Can you not right now? I'm trying to eat."
"But you're so warm." She somehow scoots closer to me.
"You're not the first to say that." I pick up a piece of toast and butter it. So what if it's lunch, I'll eat what I want to!
"Aw damn! I wanted to be your first! Who'd you lose it to?" She pouts. Her ears droop a little and her tail curls up on itself.
"I'm sorry?" I turn my head towards her while keeping my eyes on my toast. I want a perfect spread of butter, it makes it so much better. "Lose what?"
"You're virginity silly!" She playfully swats me on the arm. "Who was the lucky lady?"
Someone further down the table chokes on a mouthful of food. Another spits out their drink all over their friend and all conversation around us stops.
"Maiko." I take a bite of my perfectly buttered toast. "This is neither the time nor the place to discuss that. Let me correct my last statement, there is no time and place to discuss that. I barely know you, I'm not going to tell you anything private like that."
"Can't blame a girl for trying?" She shrugs in an 'aw shucks' manner. "But if you don't want to talk about private things then what was with that whole speech? That seemed pretty personal."
"Not compared to what you tried to do." I snort out. "I don't know if I'm happy or mad that Karin showed up."
"I know I'm mad!" Maiko hisses. Literally. She really commits to her act.
"Anyways," I cut in before she can say more. Like asking if I want to resume where we left off. Honestly I have no idea how I would respond to that. "that speech was as much for you as it was for me."
"Really? We hardly talked about you." She points out and she's not wrong.
"True but your situation is surprisingly similar to mine, just less severe." Dammit I'm out of toast. "I wasn't trying to convince just you. I was trying to convince myself too. Convince myself that even with all of the things I've had happen to me I'm still human. Even if I've been experimented on three times I'm still human. So it wasn't just for you back then. I didn't necessarily say those words to make a difference in your life. I said them for me because I guarantee my life is way more fucked up than yours. I figured that if I can convince you that you're human then I can eventually convince myself that I'm one too."
But that ship has come and gone. There's no way that I can ever convince myself that I'm not a monster now. Even if I somehow drag myself out of the darkness a part of me will always remember what I am. Deep down a part of me will forever be a monster.
"Ouch." Maiko winces in sympathy and a wave of pity surges through everyone who has been listening in on our conversation. "Three times?"
"Yep." I nonchalantly say. "I want more toast. I knew I should have gotten more. But I got the last of the butter. I suppose I could use jelly or jam but it's not the same. Maybe I could raid the kitchen? I bet they have some."
"But you're his son!" Maiko yells.
"And?" I drawl out. "Did you think that would magically exempt me from his experiments?"
"Yes!" Maiko has slid away from me in shock. She's moved to get a better look at my face to gauge my reactions. "I figured he did one on you from our talk before but three? How could he do that to his own child?"
"To Orochimaru-sama everything and everyone is replaceable." I begin to explain as the entire room falls silent. Except for the sound of my voice there is no noise at all, even the cooks in the kitchens have stopped to listen. "To him there's nothing that can't be replaced, it's just how difficult it will be for him to replace it. Kunai are easily replaceable but chakra conductive kunai aren't, so they're more valuable. You'll try harder to save a chakra conductive kunai because it's value is higher than a normal one, it's the same premise."
Everyone within hearing range, which for shinobi is a very long distance, is riveted to my words. This is the first major public insight to who I am and my history. I'm still an unknown to almost everyone, including the girl who is annoying me by invading my personal space.
Unfortunately for them I'm going to be intentionally vague so it isn't the best look at my past.
"When I was younger my 'value' was low. Very low, so low that he put me through an experiment that no one else has ever lived through. But I survived it and suddenly my value increased. Then I became more skilled, another increase in value. Then he began to personally train me, increasing my value even further. I've only increased my value over time, it's to the point that he values me above all else. I think."
I might be the one person he considers irreplaceable.
There will always be another body he can take. There will always be more shinobi willing to pledge themselves to him. There will always be more test subjects he can gather. There will always be another location he can set up a base.
But there will never be another me.
"What all has he done to you?" Maiko softly asks. "You've never said exactly what happened."
"I know, I did that on purpose. I don't like talking about them." It's likely that everyone here has already seen the Jiongu, I did use it publicly inside this very place not too long ago, but they don't know exactly how I got it. Sure they probably guessed it was Orochimaru but I'm not going to confirm it. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have finished eating. I've got to get back to my lab, I'm finally starting a project that I've been putting off for a while."
I rise up and make my way out of the still silent room. Maiko didn't say goodbye, she didn't follow me either. She just sat there looking at me in a surprising mixture of pity and awe.
It's for the best she didn't follow me. I'm going to start making a prototype's prototype of the seal for the sword.
...
The Hokage's Office
"You summoned me, Hokage-sama?" Shikamaru Nara lazily drawls out in boredom even though he's standing before Konoha's leader.
"I did." Tsunade does a once over of the chunin. His vest and clothes are crinkled, his eyes are droopy – more droopy than usual for a Nara – and there's a surprising amount of grass on him. Not just his feet but his entire back. "You were napping outside, weren't you?"
"I was." Shikamaru easily confirms. "Can we make this quick? I want to get back to it. There's nothing like sleeping under the sun, it's so warm."
"This is going to suck for you then." Tsunade tosses him a mission scroll and he raises his arm just enough to catch it. "You're going to the Land of Snow. Warmth is a luxury there."
"Have I pissed you off or something?" Shikamaru complains as he speed reads the mission scroll. "Escort mission for an actress going into possible hostile territory. Right. Who's the team leader?"
"You." Tsunade takes great pleasure in watching the chunin's eyes widen.
"But I can't... oh." Shikamaru sags in reluctant acceptance. "Right. I'm a chunin. I was hoping you forgot since you've let me stick with my team until now."
"You're wearing the vest." She dully points out. "Anyways since this is your first mission as team leader I've lined up someone with some experience to accompany you, a jonin. For this mission he'll be your underling unless things get messy, then he'll take charge. You'll have a safety net, so to speak."
"Oh that makes this so much easier." Shikamaru sags in relief. "Who is he?"
"You can come in now." Tsunade calls out.
"Yo." Kakashi walks into the room and gives Shikamaru a wave.
"Whoa." Shikamaru's eyes dart between the two others in the room. "How the hell can you spare him for this?"
"Technically I'm on leave. I'm just bored so I figured why not go on a nice easy mission where I don't have to lead for a change?" Kakashi explains. He pulled that cover story out of thin air.
"So that's where Alvarcus got it from." Shikamaru mutter to himself. "Anyways, you're basically only going to step in if something goes wrong?"
"Yep!" Kakashi gives Shikamaru an eye smile. "Thanks for the easy paycheck."
"You're welcome." Shikamaru sarcastically replies. "Can I pick the other members?"
"We've lined up one more for you." Tsunade says. "But I don't see why you can't pick the last one. As long as they're not needed anywhere else."
SLAM
The door to the Hokage's office flies open and smacks into the wall.
"HOKAGE-SAMA!" A terrified voice shouts. "Please I need a mission! Any mission! Just get me away from her!"
"Ino what the hell are you wearing?" Tsunade demands and explanation.
...
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