"Hey Anko." Ino tiredly stumbles into their cabin and gives her sensei a wave. Anko was laying on one of the two beds until she saw Ino. Or rather what Ino is currently wearing, once Anko registered the change in dress she sprung off the bed to hurry Ino into the room and sit her down.
"Ino, I've never been more proud of you." Anko truly praises her student. "I didn't know you had it in you. Literally."
"Uh… thanks?" It comes out as a question, Ino has no idea what her sensei is talking about.
"So. Alvarcus huh?" Anko sits down next to her student.
"Yeah?" Ino is completely lost. She has no idea why Anko is acting like this.
"How is he?" Anko eagerly gossips.
"He's good." Ino truthfully responds. She thinks that he's slightly better than when they last met. Probably something to do with not beating down all of his friends this time. "Though we're not done yet. I'm just getting started."
"Just getting started?" Anko briefly looks wistfully off into the distance as a fantasy runs through her mind. Then she collects herself, there are still more questions she has for Ino. "I bet you are, finally discovered how much fun it is. Speaking of discovering, did you discover anything… interesting?" She suggestively says.
The suggestive tone goes right over Ino's head. "Well he's not gay I can tell you that."
"You naughty girl!" Anko wipes a tear out of her eye. "You even made off with his clothes!"
"Actually he gave me his coat." Ino lightly grasps the still very warm material. Alvarcus's residual body heat hasn't left it yet.
"Even better!" Anko wraps Ino in a hug. "I'm sorry Ino, but I just have to ask."
"Ask what?" Ino returns Anko's heartfelt hug. The older kunoichi is being very weird.
"Does he really have unlimited stamina or did you screw him senseless?"
"What are you talking about?!" Ino forcibly breaks their hug and scoots away from her sensei in shock.
"Oh don't be like that! It's obvious you two fucked." Anko grins at Ino lecherously. "BOINKED! Sorry, it's just so much fun to say. But seriously, tell me everything. I'll let you know if he actually was good or if he's as new to sex as you are. Did he come onto you or did you seduce him? Oh, what was your favorite position? No no! Answer this one first, what's he working with down there?"
"WHAT?! WE DIDN'T - NO! IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!" Ino yells at Anko as her face turns scarlet.
"Shit really?" Anko's attitude does a complete turn around. "But the coat! The stumbling into our room! Our conversation! You mean you didn't?"
"No we didn't!" Ino pulls her knees up to her chest and buries her face in them. She's beyond embarrassed. "He gave me the coat because he thought I was cold. I was stumbling around because I'm tired. And our conversation? You asked me how he was and asked if I found out anything interesting. How does any of that point towards s… se… sex?"
"Honey you've got to get over the embarrassment of saying sex. It's really not that big of a deal." Anko reprimands Ino slightly. "I guess we just had two different thoughts. I saw one thing but another happened. Whoops, my bad? You sure you two didn't fuck? Go for a romp in the hay? Boinked?"
"I did not have sex with Alvarcus!" Ino roars at her sensei.
"Finally you said it without stuttering! Now to get you to say fuck, that's the next step." Anko grasps Ino's hands in her own. "Repeat after me, 'fuck.'"
"No!" Ino yanks her hands out of Anko's grasp.
"Ahem." A distinctly male voice awkwardly coughs to catch the two ladies attention. "Maybe, and this is just a suggestion, you close the door before having one of these talks?"
"Sorry Captain, won't happen again." Anko sheepishly rubs the back of her head. "Well… it probably won't happen again?"
"Just shut up and go to sleep. We're setting sail tomorrow around midday, make sure all of your business here is finished by then. If you're not on the boat we're not waiting, I've got a schedule to keep." The Captain closes the door himself. He doesn't trust either of them to do it.
"Hey Ino?" Anko asks one last question.
"Yes?" Ino huffs out in angry embarrassment.
"If you two ever seal the deal you've got to tell me how nice his unlimited stamina is."
"If it will get you to shut up then fine!"
"I'm going to hold you to that." Anko smiles in victory. "That's the dream, unlimited stamina. You have no idea how lucky you'll be if you get him."
"Will you be quiet!"
"Fine, fine, I'll be quiet." Anko plonks down on her bed. Then a mischievous grin forms on her face. "BOINKED!"
...
"Summoning Jutsu." I lethargically swing my arm at the ground. "Dammit."
It's too far away. I'm not getting out of my hammock though. I'm too damn comfy.
"Summoning Jutsu." I lightly tap my own chest. There. Laziness for the win.
Poof
"Sup Al." Shirokumo looks down on me. "So, let me guess. Didn't want to get up?"
"You got it." I confirm without a hint of shame. "You're not going to believe the kind of day I had."
"Which member of the Akatsuki did you run into this time?" Shirokumo let's out a large sigh and hops off me to settle on the hammock. Even another spider appreciates Murasakino's work. "You've already told me about Kakuzu at the bounty station, I thought for sure that it would be awhile until you ran into the next one."
"You're half right." How sad is that? Shirokumo knows my shitty luck so well he can guess what happened to me. "I ran into a team from Konoha."
"Shit." He eloquently sums up the situation. "You're still here though? You didn't run away?"
"I tried to." I shrug in my reclined position. "I got sort of blackmailed to help them on their mission. Turns out one of them remembered that I owed him a favor. The dick cashed in on it. So now I'm stuck working next to Shikamaru, Ino, Naruto, Anko and Kakashi."
"I thought you were on vacation?"
"I am on vacation!" I whine to the dark sky. "But no one else cares about that and now I'm stuck keeping an actress alive! Gah! I just wanted a nice simple mission! I didn't call you here just to chat though. I've got some questions that I want answered."
"What are they?" Shirokumo recognizes that it's time for business and turns serious. "I'll help however I can."
"Tell me everything you know about the actress Yukie Fujikaze. She's who I am supposed to keep alive."
"For starters that's not her real name."
"No shit?" I turn my gaze from the beautiful night sky to look at my proud summon. "Tell me everything."
...
The Next Morning
"Oi. Naruto. You go get him." Shikamaru orders Naruto to come get me down from the crow's nest.
"What? No!" Naruto sputters out. "He won't listen to me. You go get him Ino!"
"That's a bad idea." Anko cuts in and I can feel the playful smirk on her face from way up here. "If Ino goes up there they won't come down for hours. I'll go get him."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ino growls out in warning. "You know damn well that nothing happened."
"Not yet. You're wearing his coat still. If that's not an invitation then I don't know what is." Anko gloats as Ino blushes.
"Yeah." Shikamaru says as the three males turn to Ino. "What's up with that?"
"This is the only piece of clothing I have that closes. News flash: it's cold. Still this is a summer coat, it's only doing so much." Ino calmly explains. If she gives Anko an inch she takes a mile.
"But it's not yours. It's Alvarcus's." Naruto bluntly points out. "How'd you get it?"
"She'll tell you all about it later." Anko happily promises for Ino. "I've got a missing nin to fetch so we can go meet with the client."
"Oh no." Kakashi cuts in. He's probably restraining Anko from ascending the mast somehow. "You'll stab him awake. Then keep stabbing until he tells you about Orochimaru. I'll get him. He'll listen to me, I was his sensei at one point. I'm sure he still sees me as an authority figure."
"Or you assholes could just have a long and loud conversation beneath me." I look over the edge of the crow's nest and glare at each individual. "No one can sleep through that."
"You slept up there? All night? While outside?" Naruto asks me in confusion. "Why would you stay out here? It's gotta be cold at night and it's only going to get colder."
"Because the view is amazing and this is the last spot I thought you all would look for me." I monotonously answer him. "So much for avoiding you all during this… excursion."
"Morning Alvarcus." Kakashi sends me a wave like I didn't just yell at him. "We're meeting with the client, come down here."
"No." I immediately dismiss that idea. "I don't feel like it."
"For some reason I'm not surprised by that." Naruto sighs.
"So…" Shikamaru turns to Kakashi. "What was that bit about him viewing you as an authority figure?"
"He does take after you a lot, you've never been the best with authority figures yourself." Anko points out. "Who knows, maybe he'll show up three hours late."
"Haha. Very funny everyone." Kakashi let's the joke at his expense slide. "Alvarcus. Get down here. Now. You're making me look bad."
"Don't care." I brush him off again. "Besides, you make yourself look way worse all the time."
"He's not wrong." Shikamaru points out.
"You don't usually care about your image." Anko agrees. "Even when you've had to be around the Daimyo for missions."
"Don't remind me about the Daimyo." Kakashi shivers. "For some strange reason he liked me. He kept requesting me back so much that I contemplating faking my own death so he'd stop."
"He's really that bad?" Naruto asks.
"He's worse." Kakashi morbidly confirms. "Enough about that. We've got to get MY STUDENT WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO HIS SENSEI down here."
Hm, I think he's slightly angry with me right now. Oh well, not like I've had worse happen.
...
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