"Thor, I'm telling you, I brought someone strong. Really strong. You're gonna get the fight you've been itching for."
Mario sat in the highest tier of Sakaar's arena, speaking through his communicator. Below him, the crowd roared like thunder as Superman dismantled his latest opponents.
"If this guy isn't a powerful warrior, then warriors don't exist. He went from complete rookie to monster in seven days."
Mario walked to the edge of the platform and held out the communicator so Thor could hear the crowd.
"SUPERMAN! SUPERMAN! SUPERMAN!"
The chant shook the arena.
"Hear that? Get your ass over here. And bring Stormbreaker."
"I'll be there shortly."
Mario's grin widened as he ended the call. Free sparring partner, incoming. Ever since Thor had taken Loki back to Asgard, the God of Thunder had gotten soft. He used to come to Sakaar regularly after Mario took over, sharpening his skills against the Hulk and other champions. But lately? The guy had been hiding in his palace like some kind of shut-in.
He settled back into his seat and took a sip of wine. Below, Clark floated in mid-air, his fists slamming into opponents. He wasn't using heat vision, freeze breath, or any of his other abilities, just pure physical combat. Because he was so overwhelmingly powerful, his opponents came in teams of five minimum. Even then, aside from losing to the Hulk on his first day, Clark had gone undefeated. His Kryptonian brain absorbed combat techniques like a sponge, and each fight pushed his body to new limits. Now he could handle the Hulk and multiple elite warriors attacking simultaneously.
A cigarette appeared between Mario's lips, and a woman standing nearby immediately stepped forward with a lighter.
"Master, the roasted meat you requested is ready. Should I bring it now?"
Mario sighed. "Carina, I've told you, you don't have to call me 'master.' I'm paying you, for Christ's sake. Just bring the food."
He took a drag from his cigarette and glanced over at the Grandmaster, who was deep in conversation with the Collector. "How's the warrior I brought you? Strong enough?"
The Grandmaster's face lit up. "He's the strongest warrior I've ever seen. What species is he? His talent and raw power are both peak."
Mario smiled. "Kryptonian. Though you probably won't get the chance to meet many others... Actually, in a few weeks, another batch of Kryptonians might show up. But their talent won't match his."
The Collector suddenly interjected, "After he dies, can you give me his corpse? A being this powerful deserves to be collected."
Mario sat up straight and looked at him. "Honestly? I have no idea how long he'll live. You'd better not wait around. I'm pretty sure you'll die of old age first."
"Then... could I ask him if he'd sell me the corpses of his enemies?"
"Sure, go ahead and ask."
Mario agreed readily. Whether Clark said yes wasn't his problem. But the arrangement made sense, Tivan clearly believed that anyone strong enough to be Superman's enemy must also be incredibly powerful and worth collecting. And if Clark agreed? He'd become rich enough that Bruce's wealth wouldn't seem so intimidating anymore. Win-win.
The roasted meat arrived. He'd admit that incredible cuisines existed across the universe, but his taste buds still preferred flavors from home.
Without the right spices, barbecue loses half its soul. Some garlic, rosemary... Wonder what kind of meat this is, though.
As he contemplated the food's texture and whether the creature could be farmed, Thor's voice rang out.
"Where is he?"
Thor looked excited, but something about him seemed off.
Mario swallowed his bite of meat and pointed toward the arena floor. "Down there. Go get him."
Thor walked to the platform's edge and looked down at Clark. Instinct immediately told him this was the strongest enemy he'd ever faced. His excited smile vanished. His grip tightened on Stormbreaker.
"He's strong."
"Of course he is. Now get down there. He needs stronger opponents to push his limits."
"I'm going."
Thor leaped from the platform.
Mario called out cheerfully, "Clark! Heads up, you've got a strong one incoming!"
His voice wasn't loud, but Clark's hearing picked it up instantly. He looked up and saw the Thunder God descending.
BOOM.
Thor's landing should have cratered the arena floor, but the bedrock Mario had installed didn't even crack. He'd replaced the original surface after Superman's first few fights had left it looking like a demolition site.
"Son of Odin. Thor Odinson."
Hearing Thor's formal introduction, Clark paused, then matched his cadence. "Son of Martha. Clark Kent."
The next moment, they collided.
Thor went flying. His body was incredibly durable, but compared to Clark's, it might as well have been tissue paper.
"Again!"
Thor charged back in, this time with lightning crackling across his entire body.
CRASH.
The clear sky above the arena suddenly darkened.
BZZZZT.
Clark's eyes flared crimson. Beams of heat vision shot from his eyes and collided with lightning descending from the sky.
Why could heat vision intercept lightning? Who the hell knew. When dealing with Superman, you just blamed everything on his "bio-electric aura" and moved on.
Thor's eyes flickered with electrical discharge as he charged Clark again. The axe's hammerhead slammed into Clark's raised arms. The impact sent him flying backward, and arcs of electricity burrowed into his body.
Clark felt his muscles seize up. He stabilized mid-flight, expression shifting to deadly seriousness. He took a deep breath, then exhaled.
A fierce freezing wind erupted from his lips, temperature plummeting so fast that frost formed in the air. Thor's eyes narrowed. He wrapped himself in crackling lightning to avoid being frozen solid.
He leaped forward. But Clark moved faster.
CRACK. CRACK. CRACK.
A rapid series of impacts echoed through the arena. In pure hand-to-hand combat, Thor couldn't match Superman's speed or precision. Lightning exploded outward from his body, forcing Clark back momentarily. The two warriors faced each other again, breathing hard.
"You're strong. Very strong!"
"You too. You remind me of Hulk."
"Hulk? Yeah, he's pretty good."
"Continue?"
"Absolutely."
BOOM.
---
From his seat high above, Mario watched the exchange while slowly eating his roasted meat. Fights like this were educational. He was learning more about high-level combat from observation than he could from years of personal training.
These two could probably take on base-form Thanos now... damn, the Mad Titan's status really dropped fast.
In the movies, Thanos hadn't looked that impressive until you remembered he'd crushed Vision's vibranium body with one hand. That alone proved his physical strength surpassed most superheroes.
Thirty minutes later, the battle finally ended.
Thor stood victorious, but only just barely.
The result didn't surprise Mario. Thor's attacks combined magic and physical damage, while Clark had relatively low magic defense. Same weakness as Mario's quantum armor.
Despite winning, Thor looked worse than Clark, who lay flat on the ground. His armor was shattered and ruined.
Mario wiped his hands and jumped down from the platform, landing lightly in the arena. He grinned at Thor. "Well? Good enough for you?"
Thor gasped for breath. "This guy... is too strong. If my lightning didn't deal extra damage to him, I'd be the one lying down."
This was acknowledgment. In pure physical strength, Thor had felt powerless for the first time. And Clark hadn't even used a weapon...
Mario pulled out his staff and cast two spells on him. Thor felt his exhausted body overflow with energy as his injuries rapidly healed.
"What about—"
Mario knew what Thor was thinking, heal Clark too. But instead of casting magic on Superman, he said, "Dispel the clouds."
Thor hesitated, then raised Stormbreaker. The magically-summoned storm immediately dissipated. Warm sunlight poured down from the sky. It was worth noting that despite Sakaar being surrounded by spatial wormholes, the planet did have a sun. And by cosmic coincidence, it was a yellow sun.
The moment sunlight touched Clark, his eyes snapped open. This defeat had triggered another evolutionary response in his Kryptonian physiology.
Thor looked at the awakened Clark, then glanced up at the sun. Mario reached out and pulled Clark to his feet.
"Told you this place was perfect for training, didn't I?"
Clark nodded politely to Thor, then looked at Mario. "Yes. It's very good here."
Here, he didn't need to hide his strength or live under a false identity. There were countless powerful beings on this planet, and even he had lost twice. Here, he felt truly free for the first time in his life.
"As long as you're satisfied."
"It's been over ten days. You should head back. Lois has probably tracked down information about you by now."
Hearing Lois's name brought a smile to Clark's face. The woman had left quite an impression.
"All right."
Mario suddenly remembered his conversation with Tivan earlier. "Oh, you heard what the Collector proposed, right? What do you think?"
"I don't want to harm other lives."
"Things won't always work out the way you want. You'll understand eventually."
Mario didn't push. In the original timeline, Clark had experienced the pain of killing General Zod. Only he could understand that agony. If given a choice, he would definitely prefer finding a suitable planet for his people to live on rather than ending them.
The three left the arena. Professional cleaning crews rushed in to repair the battlefield, and new gladiators entered to cheering.
Back on the main platform, Mario said goodbye to the Grandmaster and Tivan.
At the platform where the waystone tablet stood, just as they were preparing to leave, Mario suddenly remembered something.
"Wait! Thor, I've got a Valkyrie for you."
"A Valkyrie? Like... a collectible figure?"
Thor didn't understand at first. He'd only heard legends about the Valkyries. They'd been wiped out by Hela before he was even born, with only one survivor remaining.
Mario stared at him incredulously.
"What kind of weird Earth knowledge have you been absorbing?"