Mira sat cross-legged on Brittany's velvet chaise, her laptop open but useless.
"I don't know hacking," she admitted, scrolling through a blank tracking app. "I gave Anne the necklace, but I never figured out how to use it."
Brittany groaned. "So we have a magical GPS and no idea how to turn it on. Brilliant."
Just then, Lily popped her head into the room, her glittery unicorn headband slightly askew.
"You don't know how to track her," she said matter-of-factly.
Mira blinked. "We just said that."
Lily shrugged. "I know someone who can."
Brittany narrowed her eyes. "Who? Your imaginary friend?"
"Nope," Lily chirped. "Come on!"
They pulled up to a building with a sign that read:
"Little Lords of Logic and Latte - kinkerGarden"
Brittany stared. "Is this a daycare or a tech startup and is the kink really needed?"
Inside, the decor was absurdly rich—velvet beanbags, gold-trimmed playpens, and a chandelier made of alphabet blocks. Children lounged with iPads, sipping juice boxes like stockbrokers.
Mira whispered, "The only thing I had in kindergarten was a broken crayon and a fear of nap time."
Lily led them to a corner where a boy sat with a tablet, snot dripping from his nose, his upper teeth jutting out like a cartoon rabbit. His glasses magnified his eyes, which were currently locked onto Brittany's chest.
Brittany folded her arms. "Are you kidding me?"
Lily grinned. "Of course not."
She leaned down. "Is your brother in town?"
The boy blushed, still staring. "Y-yeah."
Mira raised an eyebrow. "Is he… normal?"
The boy sniffled. "He's cool. He builds apps."
They arrived at a sleek modern home with solar panels and a doorbell that played Beethoven.
Brittany knocked.
The door opened.
And there he was.
Six feet tall. Broad shoulders. A beard that looked like it had its own skincare routine. He smelled like cedarwood and confidence.
Mira blinked. "Whoa."
Lily stepped forward. "Where's Dildo?"
Brittany choked. "Lily!"
From behind the man, another figure appeared—older than the boy at the kindergarten, but unmistakably related. Same teeth. Same glasses. Slightly less snot.
"For the last time," he said, voice nasal but firm, "my name is Dyldoe."
Brittany stared. "You're kidding me."
Dyldoe sighed. "Nope."