I woke up gasping, my lungs burning as if I had been dragged out of deep water. My hands were clenched against the ground, and when I looked down, I saw claw marks gouged into the stone where my fingers had been. The dream clung to me like wet cloth. It had not faded. It had teeth.
"That is the side effect of absorbing too much chaos energy in a short time," the Void said, sounding almost pleased. "See how fun this is. You are learning on your own, step by step, just like I did."
"Oh shut it," I snapped, my throat still tight. "You do not radiate the presence of a being that predates the universe. Not even a little. You act like a child."
It did not answer, but I could feel it reacting, like someone silently rolling their eyes behind me.
I closed my eyes, breathing and the thought came suddenly, and insistent. I turned inward and forced my focus into my mind space. It resisted me. My concentration wavered and my head throbbed, but I pushed through it. Slowly and painfully, the last two spaces opened.
Six.
I had six spaces now for nurturing my clones.
"This workaholic," the Void muttered. "You just woke up and you are already crawling back to work."
"Listen," I said, rubbing my face. "I want to return to the upper world. And something tells me I need to become strong enough to tear through the walls between dimensions, or at least sense where the Well of Chaos is."
"Hm. Indeed," the Void replied. "But you will need more power to do any of that."
"You are not even giving me a clue on how to leave this place?" I asked, irritation slipping into my voice.
The Void chuckled softly. "Not yet, little fragment."
There was a pause, then a sound like a long breath being drawn in.
"Now implant something that contains a large portion of yourself into those spaces. Memories will not work. Divine essence will not either. A clone cannot shoulder the burden of an element without a foundation."
"I suggest you strip away an emotion," it continued. "Turn that into a clone."
"An emotion?" I frowned. "How am I even supposed to do that? And if I strip it away, does that mean I lose it while the clone exists?"
"Yes," it said gently. "You will lose the ability to express it. Strip away love, and you will no longer feel compassion. You will even forget how your beloved made you feel."
The words hit harder than I expected.
"So," the Void asked after a long silence, "do you wish to continue?"
I stayed quiet. Love was the reason for everything. The reason I wanted to return. Ramona. My followers. Admitting it to myself felt strange, but undeniable.
"This is very weird," I murmured.
"Then which emotion can I strip first," I asked quietly, "and still hold on to love for a little longer?"
"You can start with anger," the Void said. "That one causes the most trouble."
"I know, I know," it suddenly snapped. "It was a joke, shut up."
I blinked. "Who was that?"
"Anger," it sighed.
"That was him just now?"
"Yes. Now decide. Will you do this or not?"
I hesitated for a long while. My eyes stared into the distance, I forgot about the entire world around me, just contemplating what I was to do, then, I nodded slowly. "What should I do?"
"Good," it chuckled. "Sense it like you would an element. Find it. Pull it forward. Remind yourself of something that feeds it."
I closed my eyes and searched through my memories. I did not have to look far.
The hospital room.
The smell of disinfectant. The beeping machines. Emily standing beside the bed. Cain's hand in hers.
Heat surged from my chest. My breathing became uneven.
"Does… does… idiots," I muttered.
"Now subdue it," the Void said. "Do not let it take control while you hold that memory."
I replayed the moment again.
"Cain and I are dating. We have been for a long time," Emily had said quietly. "Thank you for donating the kidney. I am sorry the complications are threatening your life, Carl."
Cain's face had turned red. I never knew if it was guilt or shame. Maybe it did not matter.
My heart hammered violently, but beneath the heat, something else surfaced. Something cold and heavy.
Sadness.
The anger began to slip away.
"Condemn it before it retreats," the Void urged. "Strip it of authority. Emotions are fragile things."
"I…" My voice broke. "You do not rule me anymore."
"You are not significant," I continued, tears spilling freely. "You are just proof that something hurt me more than I wanted to admit. You are right, but you do not get to control me. I renounce you, anger."
My body burned. Steam rose from my skin, even my tears hissed faintly when they struck the ground.
"Now," the Void said softly. "Pluck it out."
"Who are you without me?" I whispered.
Red smoke poured out through my pores, thick and restless. It hesitated, as if thinking.
Then I forced it free.
"Isolate it," the Void instructed.
I wrapped it in a sphere of golden energy and held it in my trembling hands.
"So this," I whispered, staring at it. "This fragile thing ruined so much of my life."
"Your emotions will be unstable from now on," the Void warned. "Do not let the one closest to the surface take control."
I steadied my breathing until the cold weight inside me dulled.
"What now?" I asked.
"Now you must strip the other five," it said. "They must be implanted together, or imbalance will destroy you."
"I am sorry," it added quietly. "But you must confront your past and your pain, so you have to fish out more of your emotions."
I did not know how a mass of eyes could sound so sincere, but it did, and that frightened me more than its indifference. A thought even surfaced, what if it was merely using me and would control me once I am just a husk without emotions. I quickly burried rhat thought and set the golden sphere beside me then drew in a breath.
I once again reached for the next piece of myself.