Xol, in his canine form, stayed there, motionless, watching as Morgan rested. He did nothing else. Just watched him. In silence. With a serious frown, a hard gaze, as if guarding something fragile, something on the verge of breaking. He remained like that for quite a while… until, finally, he decided to break the silence.
-you really are a damn idiot.
( Xol said quietly )
-starting with throwing yourself into a fight when you've never thrown a single punch in your damn life. An idiot who charged forward just because, with no plan, no strategy, no thought. Just fighting for the sake of fighting.
( Xol said, his voice heavy with irritation )
-you wanted to do everything on your own… and you almost got us both killed.
( Xol said, now openly reproaching him )
-I know.
Xol's scolding came to an abrupt halt. Morgan had woken up.
-well… you're awake, huh?
( Xol said, surprised for a moment, but quickly regaining his serious tone )
Morgan tried to sit up in bed. The mere movement tore a grimace of pain from him, but he tried anyway. Xol reacted immediately.
-idiot, are you suicidal or something? Do you have any idea how much damage your body took? Stop being a moron and let your body heal on its own.
( Xol said, scolding him )
But Morgan didn't listen. With effort, clumsily, he ended up sitting on the bed. He lowered his gaze to the floor, as if he didn't even have the strength to hold it up.
-on top of being an idiot, you're deaf too… weren't you listening? I told you to lie down and res—
Xol was cut off by a dry, direct, cutting question.
-what happened?
The tone hit harder than the question itself. Xol frowned. Normally, Morgan spoke softly, with that gentle voice that seemed to apologize simply for existing. But this time… no. This time it sounded different. Rougher. More broken.
-huh?
( Xol said, confused )
-I said what happened. What happened after I lost consciousness?
( Morgan repeated, sharply )
Xol narrowed his gaze. He hesitated for a second… and then answered.
-that bitch caught you with your guard down and bit your neck. Your blood burst out like a damn fountain. Your body couldn't take it anymore… the blood you'd lost, the accumulated damage… in the end, you gave in. You passed out. And I had to come out to take control, to return the favor. So congratulations, you won your first fi—
Xol stopped.
Something fell to the floor.
Then another drop.
And another.
They weren't his.
Tears slid down Morgan's face, silent at first, trembling, until his breathing began to break.
-huh? What the hell…? Why are you crying now? Didn't you hear me? I said everything turned out fine in the end. You won the fight.
( Xol said, bewildered… and slightly annoyed )
-NO.
The shout exploded in the room.
-no? What do you mean no?
( Xol replied, now angry )
Between sobs, his voice shattered, Morgan began to speak.
-I didn't win… you did. You won the fight. In the end, it didn't matter how hard I tried, how much pain I endured, or the fear. None of it mattered… because I lost. If it hadn't been for you, she would have won. I gave everything I had… and it wasn't enough. I lost. Damn it… I wanted to win. I really wanted to win.
Each word carried weight. This wasn't physical pain. It was something deeper. The pain of someone who gave everything… and still failed.
-I promised them I'd win. That in the end everything would be fine… but I lied to them. Again. I couldn't keep my promise. If it weren't for you, who knows what would've happened to them. And all because I was weak. So weak that I couldn't fulfill what I swore. So don't say I won… because that's a lie. It was you. You did it. You're the one who saved them. Once again, I had to depend on you… how am I supposed to change anything if I can't even win a simple fight?
( Morgan said, completely devastated )
Xol looked at him… and what he saw enraged him.
He saw a reflection.
One he hated.
One he believed he had buried long ago.
He clenched his teeth… and without warning, headbutted him.
The impact knocked Morgan backward, sending him falling onto the bed. A groan escaped his throat as he grabbed his head, writhing in pain.
-hey, hey, hey… what's wrong with you? Why would you do that?
( Morgan said, in pain )
-idiot. Idiot. After all this, you're still an idiot. If you're afraid, then grab yourself by the damn pants and face it. If it hurts, grit your teeth and endure it. If you're weak, then get stronger. Yes, you're right… if I hadn't come out, the fight would've ended. But you were the one who wounded her. You were the one who made her bleed, who forced her to retreat in terror. You were the one who pushed her into a final battle of attrition. Maybe you lost in strength… but in willpower, damn it, you fought like a condemned man. And I hate to admit it. But you did. Still, willpower alone isn't enough. So stop whining, stop playing the victim and feeling sorry for yourself. Instead, find a way to become stronger so you don't lose again, you fucking idiot.
Xol was furious. Outraged. And even though he didn't particularly like Morgan, what he hated most was seeing him give up, seeing himself as lesser instead of trying to be more. It brought back memories… memories he wanted to forget.
Morgan fell silent. Shocked.
But the scolding had landed.
It had sunk in.
When he tried to respond, voices were heard outside the room. Satana and Galahad. They were approaching. Xol turned his head toward the door and clicked his tongue. His body began to merge with Morgan's shadow, slowly.
-thank you.
Xol stopped.
He turned around.
Morgan was standing in front of him. He wore a small, trembling smile, his eyes still bright and filled with tears. That irritated him. He clicked his tongue once more.
-idiot.
( Xol said, with disdain… but without true harshness )
-I won't lose again. I'll become stronger so I won't lose to anyone ever again. I'll become so strong that I won't need your help. I promise.
( Morgan said, with a firm, determined smile )
Xol smiled as well.
But it wasn't a kind smile.
It was a challenging one.
A smile that said I'll be waiting.
-oh… we'll see about that.
Xol returned to his shadow.
Morgan remained there, wearing that confident smile, different from before. It wasn't naive. It was the smile of someone who had hit rock bottom… and decided not to stay there.
End of the chapter.
Next chapter: The House of Ahura Mazda.