[Skill Issue]: [So Who are you?]
[Skill Issue]: [Let's continue. Tell us which of the seven Hokage you are.]
[Skill Issue]: [And don't lie, because as the great president that I am, I can guess your identity.] [Ghost of Konoha]: [So, Madam President, why don't you say who I am?]
[Skill Issue]: [Um... I want to give you a chance to answer. I don't want to embarrass you.]
[Ghost of Konoha]: [I'm the Fifth Hokage.]
[Skill Issue]: [Oh my god—]
"Oh my God!"
Dark Gathering World — inside a quiet, dimly lit house filled with spiritual wards and protective charms.
Kaori suddenly jumped up from her bed. The night outside was eerily silent, yet her exclamation shattered that stillness like a thunderclap. Her long hair, messy from sleep, spilled down her shoulders as she stared wide-eyed at the glowing chat window on her screen.
Her calm, ghost-hardened composure evaporated instantly. The usually analytical exorcist looked like she had just seen a phantom crawl out of her monitor — which, in her world, wasn't entirely impossible.
Because she had just heard something unbelievable.
That "Ghost of Konoha" — the new guy who had humiliated her deduction skills — was claiming to be the Fifth Hokage.
Not Tsunade Senju.
Someone else entirely.
[Ghost of Konoha]: [If I'm real, maybe the one you saw was the fake one~~]
It was the first time anyone in the Super Dimensional Union had seen the acting president so completely thrown off her rhythm.
Kaori — codename Skill Issue — the self-proclaimed omniscient analyzer of fictional universes, was stumped.
Her chat window flickered with quiet disbelief.
[King of Violence]: [President-Sama's confusion level: over 9000.]
[Fallen Angel from the Dark Plane]: [She's buffering. Someone reboot her.]
[The X Man Who Never Was]: [Ah, the sweet sound of ego shattering in real-time.]
[Walking Disaster]: [Tch. This is getting interesting.]
Kaori slammed her fingers against the keyboard.
[Acting President Skill Issue]: [You're not Tsunade! Who are you? Isn't the Fifth Hokage supposed to be her? Don't try to fool me — I can upload a full memory copy of Naruto right now if I have to!]
Her tone was sharp, firm — the voice of someone desperate to reclaim lost control.
To her, the idea that someone else could be the Fifth Hokage was absurd. Illogical. Canon-breaking.
If he wasn't Tsunade, then what was he?
Some alternate Hokage from a twisted timeline? A rogue copy? A self-insert fan fiction protagonist gone rogue?
In her head, she quickly eliminated possibilities.
Hashirama? Too ancient. Tobirama? Too blunt. Hiruzen? Too old. Minato? Too dead. Kakashi or Naruto? Impossible.
So who was he?
[Girl with Trust Issue]: [President, maybe he's from one of those what-if timelines. Like Naruto's great-great-grandson or something?]
[Fallen Angel from the Dark Plane]: [Or maybe he is Tsunade. Just gender-swapped. The multiverse is weird.]
[King of Violence]: [Gender swap or not, that aura's too sharp. He ain't no drunk grandma.]
Even the chaotic members, who usually mocked Kaori for her endless theorizing, were waiting.
Everyone wanted to see what Ghost of Konoha would do next.
Renji — the man behind the alias — sat in silence for a moment. The corners of his mouth twitched slightly as the chat scrolled faster and faster.
This was turning into entertainment.
He didn't mind the mockery. The more they underestimated him, the easier it was to take control later.
Without another word, he moved his hand across the keyboard.
[Ding! The union member "Ghost of Konoha" has started a live broadcast. Click to join!]
Every chat icon froze.
A live stream? Now?
Was he really that confident — or that insane — to start a broadcast across worlds just to prove he wasn't lying?
[King of Violence]: [No way. He's doubling down? This guy's got guts.]
[Fallen Angel from the Dark Plane]: [That's either 200 IQ or pure delusion.]
[The X Man Who Never Was]: [Wahaha~ This is going to be so good.]
[Skill Issue]: [… Fine. Let's see this fake Hokage in 4K.]
One by one, the members joined the feed.
[Ding! Acting President Skill Issue has joined the member "Ghost of Konoha"'s live broadcast room!]
[Ding! Fallen Angel from the Dark Plane has joined!]
[Ding! Girl with Trust Issue has joined!]
[Ding! King of Violence has joined!]
[Ding! The X Man Who Never Was has joined!]
[Ding! Walking Disaster has joined!]
When the image loaded, the entire chat went silent.
There he was.
A young man — tall, sharp-eyed, radiating composure and quiet danger. His orange hair shimmered faintly beneath the crimson sunset, and his golden eyes seemed to glow with intelligence and exhaustion — the kind born from too many wars, too many decisions, too much loss.
He wore a black combat uniform beneath a white silk cloak. On the back, five characters embroidered in red:
五代目火影 — Fifth Hokage.
The air itself seemed to still.
[Girl with Trust Issue]: [… Okay, he's hot.]
[The X Man Who Never Was]: [That's not Tsunade. And honestly? Thank God.]
[King of Violence]: [Tch. The guy looks like he could solo my entire fan base. Respect.]
[Fallen Angel from the Dark Plane]: [He's got that "I've seen some serious sh*t" energy. Definitely not a fake.]
Kaori's heartbeat quickened. Even her spiritual wards flickered faintly as her energy wavered. The power radiating from the screen wasn't something you could fake with filters or chakra overlays. It felt real.
She swallowed hard.
[Acting President Skill Issue]: [… Alright. You're clearly not Tsunade. But the Fifth Hokage is supposed to be her. So what's the deal? Are you from another branch? Some dimensional variant? A fanfiction rewrite?]
Renji tilted his head slightly, his gaze calm but piercing.
[Ghost of Konoha]: [I told you already. I'm the Fifth Hokage.]
He turned, revealing the kanji more clearly.
Every member stopped typing.
The silence was almost reverent.
[Acting President Skill Issue]: [… No way. That can't be right.]
[Ghost of Konoha]: [You still don't believe me? Fine. I'll show you something else.]
He formed a single hand sign.
SWISH—!
A burst of light, then a blur — and in the next instant, he was gone.
Gasps filled the call.
The camera flickered and refocused.
Renji stood behind Skill Issue's projection, hand resting casually over his kunai pouch.
He had used the Flying Thunder God Technique. Perfectly.
[King of Violence]: [The hell— he really did it! That's Minato's move!]
[Fallen Angel from the Dark Plane]: [Okay, I'm officially convinced.]
[The X Man Who Never Was]: [That teleport looked cleaner than half the anime budget.]
[Girl with Trust Issue]: [President, you just got reverse-summoned by a legend.]
Kaori's lips parted, but no sound came out.
Her mind went blank.
For the first time since joining the Union, she had nothing to say.
Her fingers trembled slightly as she typed.
[Skill Issue]: [… You win.]
The others roared with laughter and mock applause.
[Fallen Angel from the Dark Plane]: [Mark the calendar — the President admitted defeat.]
[King of Violence]: [Skill Issue: 0. Ghost of Konoha: Hokage-level flex.]
[The X Man Who Never Was]: [Truly, the timeline's greatest L.]
[Ghost of Konoha]: "[You should've guessed it by now, right?]"
[Skill Issue]: "[…Wait. Are you a time traveler too?]"
[Ghost of Konoha]: "[Exactly. Cards on the table — I'm a time traveler, fellow anomaly.]"
Renji didn't flinch as he said it. He didn't need to.
He had already combed through the Union's historical chat logs. He knew that Skill Issue, the acting president, had once slipped — revealing her own status as a time traveler during a lore debate. She thought no one noticed.
But Renji did.
And now, the revelation wasn't even shocking. Not to this crowd.
[King of Violence], Rokan, had already confessed to being a regressor — someone who returned to the past with full knowledge of the future. His obsession was the game itself. The world beyond it? Irrelevant. His mind was wired for optimization, not diplomacy.
[Walking Disaster], Lee Geon, had survived twenty years trapped inside the Tower of Demons, battling endlessly against monsters that regenerated without pause. Even before that, his life had been a battlefield. Rest was a myth. His body was forged in war, his soul tempered by isolation.
[Fallen Angel], Asharuiya, found the chaos delightful. [The X Man], Justina, had probably known all along — she always did. [Girl with Trust Issues], Carmine, didn't speak at first. But her eyes narrowed. She was processing.
Time travel wasn't taboo in the Super Dimensional Union. It was just another flavor of entropy.
Renji's only concern was keeping his identity hidden from the natives of the Naruto World — at least until he became untouchable.
[King of Violence]: "[So Ghost is a time jumper too? Heh. Makes sense. That precision ain't natural.]"
[Fallen Angel]: "[Another one? This Union is starting to look like a paradox convention.]"
[The X Man Who Never Was]: "[I love this. Everyone's rewriting canon like it's fanfiction night.]"
[Walking Disaster]: "[Tch. As long as he doesn't mess with my timeline, I don't care.]"
[Girl with Trust Issues]: "[…So you knew about me too? Even though I never uploaded anything?]"
Renji turned slowly toward her. His gaze was soft, but unwavering.
[Ghost of Konoha]: "[I know far more than you think.]"
The silence that followed wasn't just surprise.
It was respect.
And maybe, just maybe… a little fear