"Nothing had hà003ñ3d at the èñd of that chapter."
The morning air was thin, carrying that specific chill that only exists when the seasons are about to turn. Naoki woke before the alarm actually rang, his eyes snapping open to a room that felt too small for the thoughts inside his head. Grey light filtered through the half-open curtains, indifferent and flat. He reached for his glasses on the nightstand. The plastic frames were cold against his skin, grounding him for half a second before the ache in his chest returnedheavy, honest roots sinking deep into his gut.
He didn't get up right away. He just sat on the edge of the mattress, legs dangling, staring at the window. The world outside looked muted, like a panel that hadn't been fully inked yet. Emotional. Not the loud, screaming kind of sadness. The quiet, suffocating kind that made every breath feel borrowed.
Naoki reached for his diary, a battered notebook with dog-eared corners and ink stains on half the pages. It was the only place he never had to pretend. The pen felt like a lead pipe in his trembling fingers. When the nib touched paper, the first stroke bled into a jagged blotch.
"March 20 was the day I graduated from high school," he wrote, breath hitching. "And when September hits, I'mgoing to Ireland for college."
He stared at the words until they blurred. Ireland. A different hemisphere. A different life. A full scholarship to St. Stella's By The Sea. Everything he had dreamed about during the darkest nights of his old school days. So why did it feel like someone was slowly pulling the floor out from under him?
Naoki stood up, joints protesting, and walked to the full-length mirror leaning against the wall. The open window let in a breeze that ruffled his messy hair, making him look even more disheveled than usual. He poked at his cheek, watching the soft flesh give way.
"Fat and chubby as always, am I?"he whispered to his reflection. His eyes were dull with practiced self-loathing. "Oh man… what a rough year. I can't believe I actually got the scholarship. It's everything I wanted. So why am I so.. scared?"
He leaned his forehead against the cool glass. "No, no, no. The real question is… How do I tell them? Kaoru, Aya, Takeshi, Emi, Kaede… How do I say goodbye when I'm still trying to figure out how to say hello properly? It hurts. It hurts so much."
"Ecstatic."
The voice was soft, like silk being pulled over a blade. Naoki flinched hard, spinning around. Yume stood in the doorway, arms loosely crossed, watching him with that unreadable expression she wore when she was trying not to show how much she cared.
She didn't apologize for being there. She never did.
Yume walked over, her hair brushing his shoulder as she passed. The brief contact sent a familiar jolt, electricity mixed with old trauma straight down his spine. She stopped beside him and glanced at the open diary.
"There's nothing more touching," she murmured, "than two people drowning together just so one of them doesn't have to feel lonely on the surface."
Naoki swallowed hard, throat full of sand. "Really? Is that what we're doing? Drowning?"
"Maybe…" Yume's eyes tracked the movement of his pen across the page. "But hey, Naoki. If you truly want something memorial… why not talk to them? They aren't like the people from our old school. They're good people. They're the reason you've changed. They're the reason you could even look at someone like me and not run away. That's the best advice I've got, Otaku."
Naoki looked at her. The cruelty that once defined her face had faded, replaced by a weary, haunting sort of beauty. 'Why is it so strange?' he thought. 'I'm falling for the person who broke me. Don't do it, Naoki. Don't be that pathetic.'
"One more thing." Yume's voice dropped an octave. "Memories are like pressed flowers, Naoki. They lose their scent, but the shape stays. They remind us that the spring was real. Don't leave without saying goodbye."
She suddenly grabbed his wrist, eyes snapping back to their usual vibrance. "Naoki! I have an idea. Before we leave for Ireland… let's make one last memory in japan. Something loud."
"What?"
"Matsuri! The summer festival. We have to go." Then her bravado flickered. She slumped slightly. "Guh… though I'm terrified to meet your 'adult' friends. They'll probably see right through me."
They moved to the small kitchen table. The silence between them grew heavy, the kind that invites dangerous questions. Naoki watched her fidget with a loose thread on her sleeve.
"Come to think of it… Naoki, your parents. Do they know you're going?"
The air left the room.
Naoki answered quietly, expression unreadable. "Well, thanks for asking… but I'll just have you know..—they disowned me. I'm a ghost to them. I don't exist in that house anymore."
Yume felt the blood drain from her face. The words hit her like a physical blow. She thought she was the only one carrying a void where family should be.
"Ouch.." she manged, voice cracking. "Maybe I shouldn't have asked. I… I'm so sorry."
She saw the genuine pain in his eyes and panicked. The only thing she knew how to do when things got too real was put on a mask. She leaned over and patted his head with an awkward, stiff motion.
"It's okay… Mommy's here to comfort you~~"
The silence that followed was agonizing. A car honked outside. The refrigerator hummed. Yume's face turned a shade of red that looked physically painful. She yanked her hand back as if burned.
"Okay… that was way too cringey. Forget I said that. Just… forget it, FORGET IT!" she stammered, staring intensely at her knees.
Naoki didn't laugh. He couldn't. "These past few days… they've been amazing, Yume. Despite everything. You changed me. I didn't think I could ever feel… this."
"Heh," she whispered, a small, genuine smile tugging at her lips. "I guess I'm the one who should be saying that. I was the monster, and you… you're just Naoki."
He reached for the check on the table, grasping at normalcy. "Geez, thanks for the compliments while I'm the one paying the bills."
"Hehehehe… that's my Otaku." She laughed softly.
Later that afternoon, after Yume left to finish signing the last of their visa documents, Naoki sat alone at the kitchen table with his phone in his hands. His thumbs hovered over the group chat for a long time.
He typed, deleted, typed again.
Finally, he sent:
Naoki: Hey everyone. Sorry for the sudden message. Are you all free tonight? I'd like to treat you to dinner. There's something important I need to tell you. My place is too small, so maybe that okonomiyaki restaurant we went to last time? 7 PM?
The replies came faster than he expected.
Kaoru: Hell Yeah! I'll bring sketchbooks in case we get bored lol
Aya: I'll be there. Need me to bring anything?
Takeshi: Count me in! Anything for my brothers!
Emi: Free food? I'm there.
Kaede: YAY DINNER!! Can I bring my Switch?!
Naoki stared at the cheerful messages, heart sinking. None of them asked what the "important" thing was.
He typed back a simple "See you tonight." and set the phone down.
Yume couldn't come. She was still buried in paperwork for both their visas and had muttered something about "not wanting to ruin the vibe with my resting murder face."
So it would just be him and the group.
Naoki spent the rest of the day cleaning his already-clean apartment, practicing the words in the mirror, and feeling his stomach twist tighter with every passing hour.
The okonomiyaki restaurant was warm and noisy, filled with the sizzle of batter on hot griddles and the smell of cabbage, pork, and sweet sauce. The group had claimed their usual corner table. Kaoru was already doodling on a napkin. Aya sat with perfect posture, quietly reading the menu. Takeshi poured drinks for everyone. Emi blew bubbles with her gum. Kaede was vibrating in her seat, talking about a new game she wanted to show everyone.
Naoki arrived last, clutching the strap of his bag like a lifeline.
"Sorry I'm late," he said, forcing a smile as he slid into the empty seat.
"You're not late, we're just early," Kaoru grinned. "So what's the special occasion? You never offer to pay."
Naoki's throat closed. He had rehearsed this. He had practiced in front of the mirror at least twenty times. But now, under the warm restaurant lights and surrounded by the people who had become his real family, the words felt impossibly heavy.
He took a deep breath.
"Actually… there's something I need to tell you guys."
The table quieted a little. Even Kaede stopped mid-sentence.
Naoki looked at each of them, his friends who dragged him into chaos, the steady older brother figures, Takeshi and Kaoru then the sharp-tongued girl who somehow made.. uh. Him I guess, and the hyper little sister who treated him like he belonged.
"I… got a scholarship. To St. Stella's By The Sea in Ireland. I'm leaving in September."
Silence.
Then, almost in perfect unison:
"Ehh?"
Kaoru tilted his head. "Ireland? Like… the country Ireland?!"
"Yeah."
"Ehh?" Emi popped her gum. "That's far."
"Ehh?" Kaede blinked. "But who's gonna play co-op with me?!"
"Ehh?"Takeshi scratched his cheek. "Congrats, man. That's huge!"
Naoki waited for the sadness. For the "don't go" or the "we'll miss you." For anything that matched the storm inside his chest.
Instead, Aya simply nodded. "That explains the sudden dinner. We should celebrate properly then."
Naoki felt something crack inside him.
"Ehh…?" he echoed weakly, the sound pathetic even to his own ears. He had expected tears, protests, maybe Kaede dramatically clinging to his leg. Not this calm, almost casual acceptance.
The table erupted into light chatter again Kaoru talking about his own college days, Emi wondering if Irish girls liked otakus, Takeshi offering to help with luggage plans, Kaede demanding he send her souvenirs with "cool sheep on them."
Naoki sat there, stunned, feeling the roots in his gut twist even tighter.
They weren't sad.
They were happy for him.
And somehow, that hurt worse than anything.
He forced a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. "You guys… aren't going to miss me even a little?"
"Of course we will," Aya said quietly, eyes soft. "But we're proud of you. This is what you worked for."
Kaoru reached over and punched his shoulder lightly. "We'll just have to throw you the biggest send-off party Japan has ever seen. No running away without proper drama, okay?"
Naoki's vision blurred. He quickly looked down at the griddle, watching the okonomiyaki batter bubble and crisp.
"Yeah…" he whispered. "No running away."
The rest of dinner passed in a blur of laughter, bad jokes, and Kaede stealing half his food. But underneath the noise, Naoki felt the ache deepen, not because they were letting him go too easily, but because they were letting him go with love.
Later, when the bill was paid and they stepped out into the cool evening air, Kaoru fell into step beside him.
"You okay?" he asked quietly.
Naoki adjusted his glasses, staring at the streetlights. "I thought you'd all be sad. Or angry. Or try to stop me."
"We are sad," Kaoru admitted. "But we're also really happy for you. You deserve this, Naoki. You've come so far from that scared kid who used to hide behind Takeshi when meeting new people."
Naoki's throat tightened again."I don't know how to say goodbye."
"Then don't say goodbye," Kaoru smiled, the same dumb, bright smile that had pulled Naoki into this group years ago. "Say 'see you later.' Because we're not done with you yet. Ireland or not."
The others caught up, surrounding them in a messy, noisy cluster. Emi ruffled Takeshi's hair, Takeshi clapped his back, ignoring Emi. Kaede hugged his arm. Aya walked quietly besides kaoru, all of their presence steady and warm.
Naoki looked at all of them, his real family and felt the roots in his chest shift, no longer just pain, but something deeper. Something that would survive the distance.
He still had months left.
And for the first time since he received the acceptance letter, that thought didn't feel like the end of the world.
It felt like the beginning of a new chapter, one he would have to write without them physically beside him, but never truly alone.
As they walked toward the station together under the thin spring chill, Naoki allowed himself one small, trembling smile.
He would tell them everything eventually.
"Say… Why don't we all go together to the Matsuri Festival?"
Kaoru's suggestion came out casually as the group lingered outside the okonomiyaki restaurant, the night air still carrying the faint scent of grilled batter and sweet sauce. Streetlights cast long shadows across the sidewalk, and the distant hum of the city felt softer than usual.
"I'm down!" Kaede instantly shot her hand up, eyes sparkling with renewed energy. "We haven't gone to a proper summer matsuri together in forever! I want to wear a yukata and eat way too much cotton candy!"
"Same here," Takeshi nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Could be fun. We'll make sure Naoki gets a proper send-off before he disappears to Ireland."
Emi popped her bubblegum. "As long as there's takoyaki and no one makes me dance in a circle, I'm in."
Aya glanced at Kaoru, her expression soft but unreadable in the dim light. "I'll go. It'll be nice to have everyone together one more time."
Naoki adjusted his glasses, a quiet warmth spreading through his chest despite the ache that still lingered. "Thanks, guys. Really. Even though Yume also thought of Matsuri. What a coincidence, haa..."
The conversation drifted easily after that, deciding on dates, arguing over who would help Kaede pick a yukata, Takeshi offering to drive if needed. For a few minutes, the weight of Naoki's upcoming departure felt lighter, wrapped in the familiar chaos of their group. Laughter echoed down the street as they slowly began to part ways, promising to confirm details in the group chat.
But as the others waved goodbye and disappeared toward their respective trains and buses, Kaede's bright smile stayed fixed on her face until the very last second.
Then the mask slipped.
"I'm home, Mom! Dad!"
Kaede's voice rang out with practiced cheer the moment she slid open the front door of their family apartment. The familiar scent of miso soup and rice greeted her, warm and ordinary. Her father's voice drifted from the living room, relaxed and affectionate.
"Kaede! How's your brother—"
"Kaoru's fine," she answered quickly, kicking off her shoes with a little more force than necessary. "Papa, I'm going to my room. I'm tireddd!"
Her mother's gentle laugh followed. "That's okay, dear. Dinner's in the fridge if you get hungry later. Don't stay up too late."
"Yeah, yeah…"
Kaede forced another bright smile even though no one could see it anymore, then slipped down the hallway. The moment her bedroom door clicked shut behind her, all the high energy drained away like water through a sieve. The cheerful mask she had worn all evening crumbled in an instant, replaced by a heavy, suffocating despair that settled over her shoulders like a wet blanket.
She leaned her back against the closed door, sliding slowly down until she was sitting on the floor, knees drawn up to her chest. The room was dark except for the faint glow of streetlights filtering through the curtains. Her *1ntendo Switch lay abandoned on the bed where she had tossed it that morning. Posters of her favorite idols and anime characters stared down at her from the walls, their frozen smiles suddenly feeling mocking.
"It's always big bro Kaoru, Kaoru this. Kaoru that…"she whispered into the quiet room, voice small and cracked. "Why is it always… about him?"
Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, hot and angry. She hugged her knees tighter, nails digging into the fabric of her jeans.
"I'm so jealous of you…" The words came out trembling, barely louder than a breath. "But I'm so angry at you… for breaking our promise."
The memory hit her hard, that night years ago when their grandfather had still been alive. The two of them sitting on the cliff with the old telescope, stars scattered across the sky like scattered ink. Grandpa had laughed and said they would always look after each other, no matter what. Kaede had stuck out her pinky with fierce determination.
"Promise, big bro! Even when we grow up, we'll still be a team. You and me against the world."
Kaoru had grinned that stupid, bright grin of his and hooked his pinky with hers. "Promise. Forever."
But forever had started to feel like a lie.
Ever since his debut as a mangaka took off, ever since Aya entered their lives, ever since the telescope night and all the chaos that followed, it was always Kaoru. Kaoru's deadlines. Kaoru's feelings. Kaoru's future. Kaoru's happiness.
Kaede pressed her forehead against her knees, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
She was happy for him. She really was. Her big brother deserved the world, the girl who looked at him like he hung the stars, the friends who stood by him through every meltdown, the career that let him pour his soul onto paper. But somewhere along the way, she had become the little sister who cheered from the sidelines. The energetic gremlin who sprayed paint on her own arm and madejokes to lighten the mood. The one who was never the main character in their shared story.
"I wanted to be your hero too, you know…" she whispered brokenly. "Not just the 'annoying little sister' who needs protection."
Jealousy burned in her chest, sharp and ugly, tangled with love so fierce it hurt. She was angry at Kaoru for growing up faster than her. Angry at herself for not being able to keep up. Angry at the world for making promises that felt impossible to keep when life kept pulling them in different directions.
A fresh wave of tears spilled over. She didn't bother wiping them away.
The summer festival would be fun. She would wear her brightest yukata, drag everyone to every stall, laugh the loudest, and pretend everything was perfect. Because that's what Kaede Kagami did, she brought the noise, the chaos, the light.
But tonight, alone in her room with the weight of an ending she wasn't ready for pressing down on her, she allowed herself to be small. To be hurt. To be the little sister who was terrified of what would happen when her big brother's story finally moved on without her standing right beside him.
"I miss when it was just us, dummy…"she mumbled into her knees, voice thick with tears. "I miss when your stupid promises included me."
Outside her window, the city lights twinkled on, indifferent to the quiet heartbreak of a sixteen-year-old girl trying to figure out how to let her brother go without losing herself in the process.
Kaede stayed on the floor for a long time, letting the tears fall until they ran dry. Eventually, she dragged herself up, wiped her face with the sleeve of her hoodie, and stared at her reflection in the small mirror on her desk.
Tomorrow she would smile again. She would tease Kaoru about Aya, demand souvenirs from Naoki, and plan the most chaotic matsuri outing their group had ever seen.
But right now, in the safety of her room, she let herself feel it all, the jealousy, the anger, the deep, aching love that made it hurt so much more.
Because even if the promise had changed shape, even if their paths were starting to split, one truth remained.
She was still Kaoru's little sister.
And no matter how far he went, no matter how bright his future became, that would never stop being enough.
Even if it broke her heart a lttle along the way.
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Ndefohpcater iftyf-noe. Readers.