Keeping the promise he made to himself, Nathan Modernson decided to drop by Lostburg to visit his father before returning to Endnest. After knowing parts of the truth about his parents from Viviana and The Indescribable, the list of reasons for this visit doubled in number. Nathan's head was full of empty confusion, to the point that he himself couldn't opt for a particular one to untie.
After he parted with The Indescribable, Nathan found Lily by herself on the same edge they were previously at. From the look of it, Lily and his mother had a relatively peaceful conversation when he was absent. His mentor seemed indifferent, but he felt like there was something slightly off with her demeanour. To be completely honest with himself, he felt sorry for acquiring himself another mentor without her permission. His decision was rather an instinctual one, as if something in his mind pushed him to do so. In The Indescribable's words, "destiny."
As Nathan expected, Lily wasn't especially excited about the idea of visiting Lostburg, just like every other Runalond citizen if they faced the same choice. He would've preferred to go alone anyway. For the 16 years he had lived in Lostburg, Nathan had mostly acted alone, and he didn't see any reason for that to change for this short visit.
Nathan took the teleportation device from Isterann to Gemville first. Walking out from the teleportation station and casting his eyes upon the first town he had seen outside Lostburg, a weird feeling rose from his heart. Gemville was still the same Gemville, but the shabby buildings and messy roads that came into his sight were nothing like he remembered. He couldn't even recall what exactly fascinated him when he first came.
Sighing at the slight disappointment, Nathan set foot into a random clothing store to get himself an outfit that wouldn't stand out too much in Lostburg.
The storekeeper's eyes lit up the moment Nathan walked in. Nathan could almost feel the greed flowing out of his eyes as he stared at the ring on his hand. It was quite obvious to him that the customer before him was at least rich to some extent, which was a rather rare breed in his store.
"Looking for something, pal?" he welcomed Nathan with practised confidence. "Place might be small, but we keep a load of everything."
Without waiting for a reply, he drew his wand and cast an imperfect illumination Rune Art to light up the details of his supplies.
"You see these? Ones with the finest quality, made exactly for handsome boys like you. See the gem on the collar? That's Froststone from the mines of Gemville. You can't find this gem anywhere else in Runalond. And I promise you, you won't find a better price in Gemville even if you try."
Nathan laughed awkwardly. "Nah, not what I'm looking for, unfortunately."
"That's fine," the storekeeper kept his enthusiasm. "I'll lead you to have a look around. You can definitely find what you are looking for here."
"You are right," Nathan nodded. "Look, I already found it."
He pulled out a plain shirt and a pair of trousers that had faded slightly in colour out of a disordered stall. Shaking the dust off them, he placed them on the counter and watched the light inside the storekeeper's eyes dim almost instantly.
"Sure you don't want another look?" the storekeeper asked in lukewarm disappointment.
"Nah, I don't think so," Nathan replied.
"Alright, that's a total of 58 dollars." The storekeeper didn't push his business any further. A product sold is a product sold. Better luck next time, he murmured to himself in a volume probably only Nathan could hear.
"Uhh, I don't really have money on me right now…" Nathan shrugged. "So… let me suggest something. How about I trade what I'm wearing right now for these?"
The storekeeper blinked, unable to process what he had just heard. He had carefully examined Nathan's fit from the moment he walked in, and, being in this industry for quite some time, he could easily tell that what Nathan was wearing was worth more than anything in his store currently. He was correct. Nathan bought what he was wearing a few weeks ago from some luxury boutique at Endnest, thanks to David Edmonds and his substantial financial backing.
"That… that…" He hesitated as his greed and morality battled it out, but the victor turned out to be a logical sense of suspicion. The boy didn't look stupid or anything; there had to be something that he had overlooked.
"Scamming customers is out of bounds for me," he shook his head. "And that includes unequal trades."
"Nah, don't worry about it." Nathan dismissed him with a smile. "Just give me a discount next time I come here, how about that?"
And with that sentence, light returned to the storekeeper's sockets. Even when Nathan walked out with his new outfit, he was calling out words of gratitude from behind.
Nathan took off his ring and temporarily stored it inside his pocket. Taking a quick look at himself from the window of a nearby building, he realised what was missing and scrambled his hair wildly.
"Perfect." He smiled. The Nathan Modernson that he was now looked nothing too different from what he looked like when he still lived in Lostburg, at least from what he could tell.
The distance from Gemville to Lostburg wasn't exactly close. When Nathan finally arrived at the gates that separated the Lostburg citizens from the rest of the kingdom, the sun had already accomplished its part in the shift.
Casting a conceal effortlessly, Nathan snuck into Lostburg without much trouble. Not like there were any guards actually keeping watch. They were busy chatting with their mates in their encampment, complaining about their misfortune to be assigned to this godforsaken place.
The first thing Nathan sensed was a heavy, unignorable stench in the air that he swore wasn't there before. The garbage and chaos on the streets now stood out to him more than the welcoming warmth of home. Nathan knew every corner and valley in Lostburg more than anything, but everything felt so dangerous and discomforting, nothing like the freedom that he had imagined when he thought of it before.
Ultimately, Nathan decided to parkour on the roofs like he used to, for the sake of finding a sense of belonging and, more so, to avoid stepping onto things he didn't want to touch. Feeling the wind racing past against him, Nathan briefly felt a happiness that almost seemed forced.
Nathan decided to fill his stomach first before going to his old house. Without much hesitation, he settled on a noodle shop that he loved as a child. After a long day of running around the streets with his childhood friends, Nathan would always come to that noodle shop alone and get the only thing available on the menu: an exclusive, signature recipe of noodles that he could swear existed nowhere else. He recommended it to many, but his friends rejected him for the sole reason that they didn't have enough money.
The owner was still the same owner; the layout was still the same layout.
"Nathan? Is that you?" the owner rubbed his eyes in disbelief, squinting through the steam.
"Yeah, Josh, it's me, Nathan Modernson." Nathan smiled, a smile that felt more genuine than ever. "I'm back."
The restaurant was empty, mainly because nobody wanted to wander around on the nights of Lostburg. Luckily, even the gangs had a borderline not to attack restaurants or the other rare stores of Lostburg, leaving an opportunity for others, and mostly for themselves, to survive.
"Where have you been?" Josh asked. He was one of the older citizens of Lostburg, 50 years old or so. His ungroomed, greasy long hair glistened in an unhealthy, pale white. The older bunch had mostly succumbed to diseases and the inability to survive independently.
Everyone in Lostburg saw Nathan as somewhat of a friend, even the gangsters, let alone a friendly old man who had him as a usual customer. Nathan and Josh formed a bond that had forgotten the gaps between their ages. To him, Josh was somewhat of a grandfather figure.
"I… I was sick." Nathan lowered his head and lied. "I mean, I still am sick."
"Sick," Josh repeated, the smile on his face fading gradually. Being sick could mean an outright death sentence in Lostburg, and Nathan's disappearance for half a year didn't make the circumstance feel any better.
"What kind?" he asked. "You look young and strong as always, more than ever, if I may say so."
Nathan sat down at a nearby table and sighed deeply. "It's not a physical illness, it's a plague on the mind."
"A plague on the mind?" Josh laughed while getting up to prepare his noodles. "That makes for an easy cure."
After a short wait, a hot, steaming bowl was placed before Nathan. The nostalgic scent slid into Nathan's nose. Unable to use Rune Arts, Lostburg citizens used charcoal to boil food. Nathan didn't know whether the aroma or the miasma was stimulating his nose, but there was a weird, itchy feeling inside it.
"I won't charge you this time." Josh grinned. "Trust me, my noodles heal minds."
Nathan didn't respond. He lifted the bowl carefully and swallowed a mouthful of noodles
And unlike the rest of Lostburg, it was as delicious as he remembered.
Whatever was stimulating his nose began doing its thing again, but this time, it stung his eyes as well.
"Nathan?" Josh looked at him.
"Are you crying?"
Nathan didn't know why he was crying, but tears were indeed dripping down his face into the broth.
"Your noodles are too bland." Nathan swallowed. "Need to add extra salt."
The air froze as Nathan poured the rest of his noodles down his throat, a common technique used by almost all other Lostburg citizens when they consumed food. Nathan used to be an exception, but this time was different.
Josh stood by the table and watched him quietly. The old man's eyes, stripped of the light of hope, stared into Nathan's pair like a camera.
Resting his rough hands on Nathan's shoulders, he mumbled softly.
"Nathan, you know what I look forward to the most in this hopeless world?"
Nathan shook his head, choking up a little.
"It's watching the glimmer in your eyes change in shape as you grow older," Josh answered his own question. "Because nothing else in my life really does."
"You are not sick, Nathan, not physically nor mentally," he continued. "I could know because the light in your eyes shone even brighter than before."
"Nathan, I don't know where you need to go, nor the time you decide to return. But when you do, whether this shop still stands or not, I'll make a bowl of noodles for you again."
"And next time, I'll make sure it's flavourful enough, so you don't have to add any more tears."
The boy who always knew what to say in every situation remained silent. He stared into his reflection, which was alternating between the Nathan Modernson in Lostburg and the Nathan Modernson in Endnest. He understood, at that moment, that both appearances manifested him, but he didn't understand why they looked so different, so far apart from each other.
On the way back home, Nathan didn't traverse his way across the rooftops. He walked among the blemishes and stains of Lostburg, forgetting the weight of his true identity for at least a moment.
As his consciousness dulled, Nathan involuntarily began to hum a tune that a bunch of thugs taught him when he was young.
"We are born, and we are lonely. We are born, and we are alone."
"No matter where you live. No matter what you call home."
"We are born, and we are lonely. We are born, and we are alone."
"No matter who you are. No matter how much you own."
To his surprise, Nathan arrived home without any undesired encounters. The house that belonged to his father was still a notable distinction in the neighbourhood, but to Nathan, it was now just a larger shack compared to the other pitiful ones.
Nathan knocked at first, but no reply came back to him. His father was probably asleep. Instinctively, he tried giving the door a gentle nudge, and somehow, it cracked open effortlessly.
Nathan sighed. "You really can't survive without me, am I right, Dad?"
However, he couldn't say he wasn't impressed with how tidy the house was. Eric never bothered to clean the house and left all the chores for his son. The current sight looked even more orderly than when he was in charge, as if nobody really lived in this place at all.
The stench also finally decided to leave Nathan alone. Having finally returned home, he lay himself down on the sofa like he always did, but he just couldn't find himself a comfortable position.
Giving up, he walked around the living room full of memories of his childhood. These memories had never seemed so precious and far away until now. He checked everywhere, and everything still looked as it was when he left, except that Eric was nowhere to be found.
Eventually, Nathan delved into his room. Almost too exhausted to do anything else, he threw himself onto his bed lazily, only to be overwhelmed by the pain of falling on a hard surface. In his memories, his bed was soft and cosy, not as hard as a plank.
But as his pain ceased, he felt something at his back. Flipping over, Nathan reached for it and held it before him. It was a letter, clearly written by his father.
"Oh… Don't you tell me…" Nathan rubbed his eyes and began reading.
Yo, son, you came back! What for? Did you drop out of the academy?
Relax. I know, I know, you came back because you have questions. You know what's unfortunate? I'm afraid I have to go back to my own home, because I, too, have burning questions that need to be answered.
Nathan, I'm aware that you probably know this by now, but Lostburg is not supposed to be your home. This place isn't as bad as people say, but it wasn't the greatest place to be, either. Make this visit your last. Oh well, I don't even know why I'm telling you this, not like someone who inherited your mother's genes would listen.
Do not worry about me, and do not forget about your questions. We will reunite in the not-so-distant future, but that requires you to come and find me yourself.
Has your dream been accomplished? Maybe it has, but people don't only get one dream per night, right?"
I'm at Endnest. I'll be waiting for you, my son.
– Your father, Eric Runaria