Ren sat cross-legged in the forest, eyes closed, silent. Peter lay unconscious next to him with no apparent injury. Ren opened his eyes and looked down, staring at Peter's dagger that sat in his lap. He removed his gauntlet with care and put it aside, grabbed the dagger, and passed his thumb through the blade with minimal pressure—it cut through his skin. He kept staring at his thumb, dripping blood, then inhaled and exhaled. In one swift, quick swing, he cut his own throat. Blood started pouring intensely. His survival instincts pushed him to grab his neck as he lay back on the ground, shaking and struggling to breathe. Blood filled his lungs as he tried to breathe. Ren's eyes opened wide, thoughts rushing in, doubt filling them. His mind questioned everything: "What if it's not a dream?" "It feels real." His hands clenched and clinched his neck, driven by pure survival instincts, not his own will. He closed his eyes and let go. Blood, which had slowed by pressure, ran fast again out of his neck. Ren's eyes closed, feeling the hot, thick blood covering his neck and chest as the rest of his body felt cold, along with his consciousness fading. His body, covered in blood, lay there pulseless.
Lub-dub...
Lub-dub...
Ren's crackling inhale was followed by heavy coughing. He instinctively grabbed his neck before opening his eyes, just to see the same forest again welcoming him. Strength left his knees as he dropped to the ground, crying and wailing, hitting the ground intensely. Peter came running. "Ren, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
Ren just kept crying there until all that built-up emotion left him, but he didn't feel the relief of it, nor the burden lessened. He just accepted it.
Ren walked alongside Peter toward the camp, not saying a single word. Peter stared at him, worried and concerned. He walked ahead toward Shin and Bjorn, muttered with them, explaining the situation. Shin said, "You should rest, Ren. You worked hard."
Ren passed silently, face full of dried tears, and headed to the wagon.
Time passed slowly for Ren, who was lying inside the wagon. As night fell, darkness filled the small space faster. He started wondering if it was really a dream—because if it was, why didn't the day reset when he slept here, and yet tomorrow was a new day? His thoughts paused with him whispering, "I already thought of this. Am I forgetting things now? How long has it been?" He closed his eyes and slept.
As morning began, so did the party. As they exited the forest, they saw a village from afar. Peter asked Shin, "Are you sure we are on track?"
Shin replied, "Yes, it's an abandoned village, wiped almost 20 years ago when chimeras reached this far."
They moved toward the village, and the closer they got, the more questions they had. Lili said, "Hey, guys, doesn't the buildings look odd? They don't look abandoned."
Shin checked his map for a minute. "Nope, it's supposed to be abandoned. The guardian surely didn't make such a mistake."
Ren silently sat inside the wagon, looking through the opened back curtains as his companions' questions grew more and more. He heard the sound of the old man talking, announcing to Ren that they'd reached the village. He kept looking toward the rear as they passed the old man, then they passed his mom, who was crossing the road—she didn't notice him. He kept staring at her, looking, but then his eyes widened, and he got off stealthily, leaving his companions oblivious, and walked toward his mother. She saw him and hugged him. "Ren?"
Ren remained silent and held her hand, walking her toward the house she came out of. After they entered, Ren turned back and locked the door. She turned, surprised. "Ren, what's going on? Why are you locking the door?"
Ren stood there, cold and unresponsive, just looking at her, then approached her slowly. "You are the only one I didn't kill last time, nor the times before."
His mother took a few steps back. "Ren, you're scaring me. What's going on?"
Ren kept walking. "It took me a long time to realize it—or maybe I already did and just forgot. If I don't interact with you through hiding, the others will keep going in a weird pattern: entering the village, then exiting it, and after a while somehow entering it again without turning, with that old man greeting them each time. It's like a memory repeating itself, and it will keep going like that for a couple of times until I somehow black out while awake and open my eyes in that damn forest. What I realized—if I don't interact with you in a certain amount of time, the whole thing will reset. The only person that I would never harm—you."
She stumbled and fell. "Ren, what are you talking about? It's me, your mother."
Ren laughed. "You are just a memory of her. She was murdered."
"No, no, it's me, Ren," she replied, eyes full of tears.
Ren grabbed her by the neck. "If you were truly her, then what's your name?"
She panicked and quickly said, "My name is Esther. You remember it, right?"
Ren released his hand, then whispered, "I never knew her name," and punched her in the stomach. She screamed from the pain, then stood up quickly and hugged him, whispering in his ear, "Yes, I am not your mother, but whatever you do, don't look behind."
Ren froze instantly, anger fading away as he noticed her voice changed. He pushed her away slowly, seeing the look on her face—she was terrified. He tried to look behind slowly. She held his head. "Don't."
Ren looked down on the floor and saw multiple shadows standing behind him. He tightened his fist, ready to fight. She stopped him. "Let's go, honey. Time for bed," holding his hand. They went upstairs into the room and closed the door. She moved ahead, closing the window and covering it. She lit a lamp, and as soon as she did, her look changed: the long black hair turned into short red, green in her eyes faded into brown. Ren was shocked and left speechless for a moment, then whispered, "Who are you?"
She put her hand on his mouth and asked him, "How many times have we met?"
Ren lifted just one finger. She nodded. "Then it's not too late." She grabbed him and pushed him onto the bed. "You need to sleep now."
Ren shook his head. "No, no."
Then the knocking on the door started—from a single knock to what looked like multiple people knocking. She held him tightly. "Sleep, and when you wake up, find me."
Ren closed his eyes as the knocking sound increased, filling the room, then suddenly went quiet. Bird chirping. He opened his eyes slowly, and it was the forest all over again.