I thought I made an update unto on what I'm doing resulting in me not updating shit, but to summarize it all, Finals hit the other week accompanying a shit ton of work.
Yeaa, it fucked me up a bit.
Could have updated in friday already, but my friend group suggested we go 2 day camping cuz the IT Department voted not to organize a Christmas Party, so we decided to go do ours.
Now I'm kinda back, so yeah.
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"Haruto-san, Ishigami-san, what are you talking about?"
Chika Fujiwara hopped over with that gremlin smile she always wore when she smelled potential drama.
Haruto casually placed a finger on Fujiwara's forehead like pressing a mute button, stopping her from invading his personal space.
"Relax. We were just discussing… meme culture."
Fujiwara's eyes lit up like someone just whispered "free dessert."
"Meme culture? I know this one! Uh—uh— 'Hello internet! Number one victory royale!'"
Our dear Secretary Fujiwara.
With the confidence of a woman who thinks she is fluent in memes because she opened TikTok once, she proudly fired off the most outdated, mismatched internet references known to mankind.
She looked like someone who downloaded a "Top 20 Memes of 2016" compilation and called herself cultured.
Ishigami Yu immediately choked on his own laugh.
Fujiwara froze mid-pose like a glitching NPC.
"ISHIGAMI-SAN! Why are you laughing!?"
Ishigami didn't answer — he simply lost it even harder.
There was NO universe where he would let Secretary Fujiwara survive saying "victory royale" with a straight face.
Ironically, despite her mother being a diplomat and Fujiwara speaking five languages, her meme literacy was absolute garbage.
Truly, the eldest daughter of the Fujiwara family: a piano genius… and a meme imbecile.
Just then, Shinomiya Kaguya and the others arrived.
"What's all the fuss? Is there a problem?"
Kaguya asked gently.
But the moment she opened her mouth, she spoke in the smooth, calm confidence of someone who studied meme culture academically — internet slang delivered as flawlessly as a professional streamer.
Even Haruto couldn't find a flaw.
Fujiwara's soul left her body.
"W-WUWU—K-KAGUYA!? Since when did you become fluent in meme language!? I didn't know! That's CHEATING!"
Fujiwara knew tons about Kaguya.
And while Kaguya was always elegant and proper, the one thing she wasn't supposed to be good at was internet culture.
But Kaguya simply smiled — sweet, smug, and a little dangerous.
Ever since she started paying attention to Haruto, she had memorized everything about him.
And because Haruto spent half his free time browsing memes like a degenerate, Kaguya secretly trained herself to be a meme master.
Call it love.
Call it obsession.
Call it "research."
Like Fujiwara, she had grown up mastering several prestigious languages…
But now?
Kaguya was fluent in Internet Level 99.
And she waited patiently for the moment when casual meme-fluency would make Haruto's heart skip a beat.
After all — hearing someone speak your preferred type of stupid is touching.
"That was perfect, Kaguya. Honestly the most natural internet slang I've heard here," Haruto said.
Kaguya, who had been calmly smiling, went bright red.
His sincere praise almost launched her into orbit.
Luckily, Hayasaka saw emergency sirens flashing and gently touched Kaguya's cheek — activating her "absolute calmness mode."
Kaguya stabilized.
Barely.
After some teasing, the topic drifted.
Fujiwara revived instantly, full HP restored.
"Let's go to the haunted house!"
Ishigami's face went from "fine" to "I regret existence" instantly.
He wasn't sure he'd survive.
He wanted to ask Haruto if he had some magical potion that gives +50 courage and -100 fear.
He didn't know Haruto actually DID have emotion-dampening drugs from Foundation missions. But Ishigami never asked, so the universe spared him.
As for the girls—
Kaguya had planned on dragging Haruto to the haunted house anyway.
The suspension bridge effect was still active; zero objections.
Hayasaka followed.
Kato Megumi and Yukino were calm as always.
Yuigahama and Iino were excitable but terrified.
So everyone ended up joining.
The haunted house was huge — half maze, half psychological warfare. Lots of branching paths, most leading forward, some looping back.
Haruto had seen the posters.
Urban legends.
Classic Japanese spooky stuff.
Not scary by his standards.
He'd seen far worse during Foundation missions — like walking into a room and seeing a single pair of shoes in the dark.
Or a chair turned the wrong direction.
Simple things that ruin your soul.
Soon, they bought group tickets.
Max ten people per group, so nine was perfect.
Kaguya really wanted a two-person run with Haruto… but pride stopped her.
While signing the liability waiver, Haruto asked casually:
"By the way… your boss isn't one of those horror lunatics who carries a giant hammer, right?"
The employee blinked.
"Oh, no. Our boss is Junji Ito."
Haruto paused.
For one moment, he seriously considered tearing up the waiver and evacuating everyone.
Then he considered calling the Foundation for a sweep of possible cursed props or wandering entities.
But… Tomie had already been contained elsewhere.
So it was probably fine.
Probably.
Haruto sighed, signed the waiver, and followed the others inside.
He idly checked his phone — in this parallel world, Junji Ito was still a manga artist who apparently ran haunted houses as a side business.
His works differed slightly from what Haruto remembered, but parallel universe deviations were normal.
So Haruto finally focused and took the haunted house seriously.
Screams erupted instantly.
Especially one male voice that alternated between shrill and dying-walrus. Tourists outside probably thought farm animals were being sacrificed inside.
After an hour and forty minutes—
The nine of them stumbled out.
Ishigami looked like he had aged ten years.
The girls varied in fear levels but remained functional.
The sun felt almost foreign.
Haruto sighed.
His expectations were shattered.
Even Junji Ito couldn't personally maintain every branch store.
Great concepts… terrible execution.
Props were cheap.
Actors were unconvincing.
Immersion was mid.
Unless Ito learned shadow clones, branches were doomed to be inconsistent.
Haruto had even prepared himself mentally for possible anomalies.
Maybe he'd find SCP-035 lurking around.
But no.
Anomalies weren't vegetables you could pick off shelves.
Especially since the artificial heaven was active — abnormal events were nearly nonexistent.
Haruto took a breath.
A few days of peace and he already felt like something was missing.
He walked toward the girls.
"BOO!!"
Normally, this would do nothing.
But right after the haunted house?
Yuigahama and Iino screamed instantly. Even Yukino and Kaguya jolted. Kato Megumi smiled quietly. Hayasaka rolled her eyes.
Haruto laughed.
Yes.
This was the fun he wanted.
"It's noon. Let's take a break and get lunch," he said.
"As compensation, Haruto will treat us!"
Fujiwara declared proudly.
She had been terrified too, after all.