[ Not long after, Gintoki and Kagura were seen lying quietly inside the snow igloo, looking up at the ceiling with serene expressions, as if in sage mode.
"What is… this feeling? It feels so warm… and not just an external warmth. This feeling is just like being in a mother's womb…"
Seeing the two of them looking so spineless inside the snow igloo, Sougo mocked them triumphantly: "I'm not going to lend it to you guys."
Realizing how embarrassing they looked, Gintoki started to put on a brave front: "Who would want to live in such a cramped and dark place!"
"Sleeping in a crappy place like this, you can't even turn over." ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"Hahaha, Gintoki and Kagura probably only have mouths that are frozen hard; no matter what, they just won't admit it."
They say no with their mouths, but their bodies are very honest. The more sarcastic they were just now, the harder the face-slapping is now.
.....
〜Detective Conan World〜
"What kind of godly expression is that? Is the expression coach Kazuma the Brute?"
Conan's mouth twitched as he watched the screen.
Is the effect of a snow igloo that peculiar? That serene expression… if one didn't know better, they'd think you were about to achieve Nirvana inside. It's a bit too peaceful.
This is the rhythm of freezing to death! What "like a mother's embrace"? They've frozen until they're hallucinating. These symptoms definitely point to hypothermia.
"It can't be that comfortable… I remember you don't light a fire inside a snow igloo, so it's still quite cold,"
Ran recalled carefully, looking a bit suspicious.
Hearing this, Sonoko pointed at Gintoki:
"That's true, but do they look cold to you?"
Although a snow igloo can block the wind and be much warmer than the outside, it's not as good as one might imagine. But looking at the current situation…
Gintoki's dead fish eyes, which haven't changed in ten thousand years, have actually become clear.
.....
[ As they spoke, Gintoki, with Kagura riding on his neck, suddenly stood up and burst a hole through the roof of the snow igloo. "Yosh! Then let's go find a place to stay too!"
Seeing this, Hijikata pointed at the two of them and instantly flew into a rage: "Where the hell are you coming out from?!"
"Huh? It's all because the entrance was too narrow…" Gintoki seemed a bit confused, then continued, "I just figured coming out from a different spot might be better."
Hijikata wasn't buying that nonsense: "Stop joking around! You did that on purpose! You completely destroyed it out of spite because you couldn't have it, didn't you?!" ]
[ .....]
〜Gintama World〜
"I knew we shouldn't have let them in. These two are the type to destroy whatever they can't get!"
Veins popped out on Hijikata's forehead as he watched, wishing he could cut down a certain natural perm right then and there.
Usually, it would be fine, but is this the time for infighting? The most important thing is the Shogun, the Shogun! One slip up and everyone loses their heads.
Sougo remained as placid as ever, saying flatly,
"As expected of Danna! You can't even see a hint of guilt or remorse on his face."
"Sougo! Now isn't the time to be impressed! If we don't find the Shogun, Gintama is going to get axed, and then my post-marriage arc with Miss Otae will be gone!"
As soon as Kondo thought of this scenario, the expression on his face became urgent. He didn't want the Skiing Arc to turn into the Final Arc suddenly.
"That's something for Sorachi-gorilla to consider,"
Hijikata interrupted Kondo's fantasy.
"Also, stop your unrealistic delusions. Where exactly is this post-marriage arc coming from?"
.....
[ The blizzard grew heavier. Just as Hijikata was accusing Gintoki, Katsura's voice came from the side: "Everyone, come over here, over here!"
Everyone looked towards the voice and saw Katsura, wearing two large snowballs on his body, waving at them: "Fighting at a time like this is no good, yo. Everyone, come into my snow cave!"
"I've pretty much gotten used to this body." Katsura patted the snowballs on his body, then pointed to the cave behind him: "I discovered this cave while I was investigating."
Kagura put her hands on her knees and bent down to look inside the cave: "What kind of cave is this? Is there a bear hibernating?"
"Hahaha, how could there be a bear in a place like this?" Katsura laughed, then looked at a giant sneaker inside the cave that was stained with blood on the top. He turned back and gave a thumbs up: "It's just a common Bigfoot, that's all!"
The expressions of Gintoki and the others froze instantly, and they craned their necks to retort frantically: "Why would a legendary unidentified creature be inhabiting this place?! And why is the Bigfoot wearing shoes?!"
Faced with Gintoki's retort, Katsura said solemnly: "I'm not entirely sure. I was pretty shaken at the time, too. Maybe it's just an old man with slightly large feet." ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"Hahaha, a common Bigfoot… and 'that's all'? The existence of a Bigfoot is already uncommon enough!"
The expressions of everyone outside the video froze instantly as well… What the hell were you shaken about? This is clearly confirmed, isn't it? Is there any room for doubt? This is obviously way too big!
"An old man with slightly large feet"—how did you even come up with that?! Whose old man wears shoes of that spec?
.....
〜Demon Slayer World〜
"By the way, Bigfoot really exists…"
Tanjiro, having lived in the mountains for so many years, had never seen this legendary mysterious creature, but now his eyes were opened.
Zenitsu shook his head like a rattlesnake:
"No, no, no, Tanjiro!! Whose Bigfoot wears shoes?! That's a yokai, a yokai!"
"I've been thinking from the start, this guy named Katsura is clearly a lack-of-common-sense airhead!"
To what degree of airheadedness do you have to reach to suspect this might have been left by some old man! Just how hardcore are the old men in your world?
.....
〜Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline〜
"I should be the one who's shaken!"
Rin Tohsaka looked a bit agitated at this moment, followed by a barrage of complaints:
"Where is there even a single point worth you being shaken about?!"
Looking at Katsura, who was still wearing snowballs, Emiya Shirou also didn't know whether to laugh or cry:
"This guy is truly a natural airhead…"
It's not a matter of getting used to it or not. Wearing snowballs in the middle of winter… I don't know if you're cold or hot. Can't you take them off before speaking?!
Illya felt like her strange knowledge base had increased again:
"A common Bigfoot… so there are common ones among Bigfoots."
"This Katsura is really unfathomable. Just like Aqua, you can't guess his brain circuit."
Red A originally thought Aqua was already a miracle, but he didn't expect another heavyweight to appear now.
How did he manage to connect a giant shoe with an old man? Those two things are poles apart, dammit.
.....
[ Katsura ignored Gintoki's retort and continued speaking on his own: "I begged him to let me stay for a night, but he wouldn't listen at all. So I wrote it down and used a thumbtack to fix the note in place. It seems he understood my feelings."
At this moment, the screen showed the inside of the shoe. A piece of paper was pinned inside the shoe with a thumbtack, and on it was written…
"So~rry, it's really too cold. Can you let us stay here for tonight? No? Your body is huge, but your brain is so small! You stupid Bigfoot!"
Looking at the thumbtack inside the shoe with the point facing up, and the bloody giant footprints outside the cave, Shinpachi retorted: "Understood, my ass! His foot was pricked by the thumbtack until it bled!" ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"Hahaha… I'm dying of laughter. Look at that damn note you left! Is that the attitude of someone begging for a favor?"
"Is it possible he's actually a genius? Hahaha, this is too sinful. The placement of that thumbtack… it was definitely intentional, right?"
Watching Katsura's miraculous operation, everyone couldn't close their mouths from laughing. You placed that thumbtack upside down just to prick him, didn't you? That's so mean!
So you aren't a natural airhead, you're naturally black-hearted! The last time they saw such an absurd brain circuit was Goddess Aqua.
.....
[ As he spoke, Katsura actually lay down inside the blood-stained sneaker, closing his eyes with a look of satisfaction: "And he even left such a great bed…"
"As long as I stay inside, at least I won't freeze to death!" Katsura closed his eyes, feeling incredibly comfortable, but then suddenly screamed: "Ouch… Who put a thumbtack here?!"
Meanwhile, hearing the footsteps approaching from outside the cave, Gintoki and the others tacitly left.
Hearing the footsteps behind him, Katsura was still trying to reach the thumbtack on his back: "Hey! Where are you guys going? Help me pull the thumbtack out of my back."
Just then, a thick, hairy finger gently touched the thumbtack stuck in Katsura's back.
"That's right, that's right, right there!"
Then the finger unhesitatingly pushed the thumbtack forcefully into Katsura's back. Katsura froze for a moment, THEN… "AHHHHH—!" ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
You were the one who put the thumbtack there! The crowd outside the video was too exhausted to even retort. This guy isn't naturally black-hearted; he's genuinely stupid!
Now we know, you really didn't do it on purpose… This guy is simply a walking punchline, like a beautiful, blue-haired idiot.
.....
〜KonoSuba: God's Blessing on This Wonderful World〜
"That's great, Aqua! You're no longer alone."
Kazuma wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, watching this scene, and patted the latter's shoulder in relief.
Megumin also sighed in succession:
"Yeah, it's really not easy."
Aqua hadn't figured out the situation yet, looking completely confused:
"Huh? What nonsense are you talking about? I'm not lonely! And why are you all looking at me with such pitying eyes?"
Darkness sighed silently. The degree of Katsura's airheadedness was completely on par with Aqua's. He could definitely rank high in the idiot world!
〜Baka to Test: Summon the Beasts World〜
After a moment of silence, Hideyoshi concluded:
"This Katsura is so much like you, Akihisa!"
So that thumbtack really wasn't intentional! You genuinely forgot about it. The speed of this forgetting is way too strong… no, I should say it's way too airheaded!
"Is that so? Indeed, in terms of looks, we do look alike."
Akihisa stroked his chin and pondered.
Yuuji was exasperated:
"How did you interpret Hideyoshi's words as being about looks, Akihisa?!"
This is why he can't understand the brain circuits of these idiots. Sometimes they are just too skewed, skewed beyond imagination.
And unlike this idiot Akihisa, Katsura's thinking is even more erratic; every sentence and action develops in an unexpected direction.
.....