Violet had been trying to reach Dexter before boarding the flight to Lagospool in the afternoon. Since Dexter had received the news of his mother's passing from the doctor personally in the morning, he left the hospital with a blank mind and a numb body, ignoring all calls and text messages.
All he managed to think of was to hail a taxi back to the flat he used to live in with Violet. When he reached, he sat staring at his reflection on the floor in his room, facing the bright sunny view till sunset, and now a pitch-dark sky outside the window.
He still couldn't register the fact that the only single person who loved and cared about him had left. He acknowledged that there used to be two, but he was stupid to have let Violet go. He was even struggling to win her back now. He broke down by the bed, realising his foolish mistakes.
For once, he realised how much he hated his family and especially his father, who had nailed so many expectations on him before he passed on. What's worse is that his uncles were fighting for power against him all this time. That's when he realised he was defending a worthless fort for nobody but his own demise. At the end of the day, he had lost not one but two of the dearest women of his life, and it was all too late.
Violet stood by the arrival hall that late evening, lost for once. She wanted to get to the hospital to see her mother-in-law's body, but knew the operating hours were over. Instead, it was more urgent to find Dexter. If everywhere everyone could find but couldn't reach him, the only place that she could think of was their flat. Though Sam had told Edward before about it, she doubted he would care, or anyone would have guessed it was there. Her instinct was strong that he should be there as she hailed a taxi to rush over.
When she punched in the old pin, which was their marriage registration date, she recalled it was no longer that. Once again, she was frustrated at the roadblock. She pressed on the doorbell multiple times before calling out to him, but to no avail. By then, her spam calls to him had turned into voicemails. She suspected his mobile must be out of battery.
In desperation, she decided to take a leap of faith and tried his birthday, but it was wrong. She knew she had two more chances before the alarm rang as she tried her birthday. To her surprise, the door unlocked. She sighed in relief, close to tears, before barging inside the house and was even more relieved to see traces of him around.
She traced his tracks into their master room and found him lying on the ground, staring blankly into the abyss of darkness outside the window. The sight of his haggard self was agonising as she gently called out to him.
"Dex…"
But there was no response or movement. He was zoned out entirely as Violet forced away her tears and pulled his lifeless body into a sitting position. Yet he had no response whatsoever.
"Dex… You can't go on like this. Mum needs you…" Violet choked on her words as she fought her tears.
"She's gone…" Dexter mumbled. "No one needs me… Not you either..." Dexter's gaze slowly met with her teary eyes, where he broke down again.
"Dex…You need to at least give her a proper send off…" Violet held him in her arms as they both sobbed together. She could feel he was letting go of everything, on the verge of giving up. She was worried that his will to live on would diminish, too.
"I promise I will be here with you. Think of all she had gone through in this life. Now that she has left, it's only right for you to be filial and send her off properly. To thank her for giving you the chance in this world…" Violet tried coaxing as he held on to her.
"I'm sorry… I had been so useless. I had been so useless all this time. I couldn't protect you both. I work so hard, but for a facade that I didn't want. I didn't need all that. All I wanted was you both, but both of you left me! It's all now too late!" Dexter vented as Violet hugged him to calm him down.
"Then, do this for Mum! She needs you now... She is waiting for her one and only family member to identify her. To prepare a banquet for her, for others to honour her. To let her loved ones and friends genuinely or falsely admire her, to send her off one last time. Dex, you're not alone in this..." Violet explained as Dexter realised life may go on, but his Mum was waiting for him cause no one knows her well like he does. She, too, had him alone as her next of kin since he was the only child.
"What should I do?" Dexter searched Violet's face for answers as she sighed in relief.
"Have you eaten?" She questioned, knowing he wouldn't have, and that's crucial. He shook his head as he looked away.
"Dex, listen." She dragged his gaze back to hers.
"Get yourself cleaned up while I cook you something…" Before she could finish explaining, he shook his head. "I don't have the appetite."
"Dex, the days after this, though I am with you, will be tougher. We need to first look after ourselves before we can handle other matters." She coaxed as he sighed in defeat.
"What do we do next after that? I… I don't know what to do. I am so lost… It's my first time…" He admitted as he held his forehead.
"You should sleep… It's going to be …" She wanted to say tough day, but he shook his head.
"I cannot sleep with this pounding headache. Now that you mention it, she needed so many arrangements… I didn't know funerals were so elaborate…" He vented in frustration as she held his shoulders to calm him down.
"Dex, we need to head to the mortuary to identify her body first. Only then can we proceed with the funeral arrangements…" She paused, watching him, waiting for her to explain more.
She was swallowing a huge lump in her throat because she knew it would be harsh to tell him other details from her experience with her mother's funeral, especially the last day.
"You just need to decide things for her during the funeral. Her portrait picture, her new home…" He looked at her, a little confused.
"Her columbarium..." She explained as he looked down at the ground in disappointment.
"Her coffin… The flower arrangements, her meal offerings, and her outfit. Since we don't need to wait for anyone important, do we keep the funeral to a minimum of three days?" She suggested as he forced himself to nod.
"I will decide on the guests' meals and most importantly, the token of bereavements. I'm not sure if you want to guard it or if it's even necessary. There will surely be many who are greedy going after it…" He chuckled at her explanation.
"Let them… I don't own anything from that family anymore. Now that Mum has left, there's nothing left in that family ever again for me to…" Dexter held his closed eyes in tears. For once, he finally understood what Violet had felt all these years as he sobbed silently while she gently patted his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Vi… So, sorry…" Dexter's apology came a little too late, but all she could do now was to help him get through these tough days.
She sniffed and took a deep breath. "Let's go through this together, one day at a time. It would be tough later, but the days later would keep becoming easy..." Dexter tried to nod and stay strong while Violet helped him to the washroom before wanting to head to the kitchen to whip up a meal, only to hear him sobbing out loud to himself in the washroom.
She too couldn't help but sob silently to herself at his agonising cries of sadness and regret as she forced herself to stay strong while placing a pair of new clothes on the bed for him. She knew she had to be the strong one at this moment to help him move on as she prepared him a simple noodle meal.
When he was finally out of the bedroom for a long while, dressed in a grey shirt and black pants, she prepared, she led him to the counter-top in the kitchen and sat him down before she fed him. To his surprise, the bland noodles were easy to swallow as he forced himself to take a couple of bites till he finished the bowl.
She put the bowl away and gave him a glass of warm milk. He took it and drank some as he put it down, wondering if she would be fine if he wanted to visit the morgue then.
"Are you tired?" She asked gently as he shook his head.
"I…" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yes?" She held his hand tightly, coaxing him to tell.
"Can we see mum…" He couldn't finish his sentence before he blinked away his tears because he knew he might not be strong enough to identify her body.
"Yes." She answered with her eyes reddening.
"Will you come with me?" His voice was pleading as she smiled and nodded.
"Alright, let me put this away first, and perhaps we will take a walk outside while waiting for the morgue to open at eight tomorrow morning, the earliest?" She asked as he nodded.
He watched her clean up the kitchen, and for a moment, he was glad.
It was as though time stood still, delaying giving his mother a death status and still having a wife to tend to him.
A part of him didn't want that moment to end.