They say words can become seeds.
I unconsciously slapped my own mouth.
I couldn't help it.
'Fuck...'
Anyone who saw the line of patients in front of the hospital would want to blame themselves or others.
Moreover, if those patients were all, as if by prior agreement, holding their groins, it was even more so.
"This is a disaster."
Even Liston, who could be said to be more composed than he is skilled in swordsmanship, said this, which says it all.
"Should we tell them to pay it back?"
In contrast, the Director was reacting with a coldness that made me wonder if he was even human.
Of course, veterans of this hospital like Zemel and Thomas...
In other words, typical 19th-century doctors, were agreeing with him.
"It's fine. I took a quick look, and less than half of those patients had their surgery at our hospital."
"No... then why don't they go to the hospital where they had their surgery?"
"The rumor that T.P. Young had his surgery here is already widespread. They probably think we're the best at reoperations too."
"Ah... This is an unintended side effect I hadn't anticipated."
Upon hearing that most of the patients had their surgeries at other hospitals, the Director laughed briefly but then grimaced.
Whatever the case, reoperations...
are surgeries one doesn't want to do.
This wasn't just a story unique to the 19th century.
Even in the 21st century, reoperations were always much more difficult than the first surgery.
Especially when you had to redo a surgery someone else had performed, more so than redoing your own.
No matter how identical the surgery and the technique, there are always subtle differences depending on the person.
"What can we do? If it's a case that really can't be saved, we have to amputate."
"Didn't you see yesterday? Didn't you see the eyes of the man who was amputated?"
In contrast, Liston was taking a 'it can't be helped' stance.
He wasn't wrong.
No matter how precious the body part...
It can't be more important than life, right?
Once it starts rotting, there's no other way but to cut it off.
'That man's eyes yesterday...'
But, one should also consider the perspective of the person being amputated.
I never thought I'd witness that scene in my lifetime...
I guess coming to the 19th century means experiencing all sorts of things.
There's a tendency to think it's good for an ordinary person to have diverse experiences...
The problem is, strangely, the experiences here are mostly not very pleasant.
Especially yesterday.
-You, you! I... I'll haunt you even after I die!
If it can be called fortunate, it's that the person who did the amputation was neither me nor Liston.
It was someone we'd never seen before at our hospital, and that person's face turned pale after cutting it off.
It's only natural.
It's scary enough to just hear about, but seeing the facial expression and hearing the voice together is really...
No horror movie in the world could have had the impact of yesterday.
"What about the eyes?"
"Ah... Well, you. That's understandable."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm saying it would be fine if it were you. But other people... and it might not be fine for the hospital."
Watching the Director speak, he didn't seem particularly worried about other people.
Actually, I've only been a candidate for circumcision myself, not the one performing it, and Liston has done plenty of cutting, but as he said, who would come and stab Liston?
It might sound a bit harsh to say this but...
Frankly, it's no exaggeration to say that aside from the two of us, there's no one who brings overwhelming benefit to the hospital.
Even if one or two get involved in unfortunate accidents, it wouldn't be a big problem...
No, fuck, what am I thinking?
I'm sounding like a 19th-century person.
'Now that I think about it, the Director is quite knowledgeable in surgery too, but he grits his teeth and refuses to do this surgery...'
That gives me chills.
The Director...
Could he have calculated even this?
If so, he's a terrifying person.
It's not for nothing that he's almost the only one who can match Liston, that's what I mean.
Anyway, for some reason, he only flinched when the hospital was mentioned.
One might think, surely nothing would happen to the building...
But considering that arson is a fairly common crime in this era, it's not an unwarranted worry.
'The hospital burning down...'
That must not happen.
Why?
Because I have a stake in this hospital now!
It's mine!
"What should we do?"
"What do you think we should do? First... we'll do our best to examine them... and for those who had it done at other hospitals, we'll have to shift some blame to those other hospitals."
"Ah... But isn't that a bit unethical?"
"Ethics? Then should we just sit idly by and let the hospital burn down?"
"That can't happen."
"Exactly. So now, I need you to step up too."
"Me? In this state?"
I've said it repeatedly, circumcision is not that major or dangerous of a surgery.
Frankly, if it were, could they perform circumscisions left and right?
Europeans might think only Jews do it...
But if you go to Africa or the South Pacific, circumcision is performed daily as part of initiation rites, and if this situation happened every time, they would have gone extinct or stopped doing it.
It's a surgery that just requires care, that's what I mean...
But that doesn't mean it's nothing.
"Why?"
"No, I'm not fully healed yet."
Whatever it is, it's cutting through living flesh.
It's an era without antibiotics, so I'm being exceptionally careful.
I disinfect and change the dressing every day.
Just in case, I'm having Joseph do it instead of doing it myself.
Given the location, I had many doubts, but entrusting it to someone who is beyond fastidious, closer to obsessive-compulsive, is reassuring.
Of course, that's not all.
On top of that, to avoid contact or friction as much as possible, I'm consistently wearing a steel cup.
Medically, it's in the best possible state, that's what I mean, but one could also say it looks ridiculous.
"Hmm... Well, wouldn't it actually add to your authority to do it like this?"
"Authority by looking like this?"
"Yes, you're wearing tailored pants now. It was a bit unsightly at first. It's not like you're Scottish..."
"It's better than before, but..."
It sticks out too much because of the steel cup.
I thought about taking a break because it's awkward to go around like this, but even though I'm in pain, as a VIP in London's social circles, there are times I have to make an appearance, so I had pants tailored, but...
The tailor from this era, or whatever you call them...
Doesn't seem very skilled.
Even I can tell it looks too strange.
It's like the madman had some fantasy in mind; he made the steel cup area protrude way too much.
"No, it's not just 'better'. It's very manly and good."
"This is?"
"Yes. It will add another good rumor about you. Above all, if you perform the surgery, complaints will definitely decrease. Don't you think so?"
"Well..."
I want to deny it, but I can't.
In reality, when people receive surgery or treatment from a recognized master, even if the outcome isn't good, they tend to be generally satisfied.
They think, 'Well, no one could have done better anyway...'
They also think everyone did their best, so that's that.
Moreover, at this point in London, I'm not just a master; I'm a unique existence.
I'm not saying this because my ego is inflated; it's truly the case.
'I do owe the hospital a lot.'
I'd like to say I did it all with my own skill, but since when do human affairs work like that?
Frankly, if it weren't for Brother Liston, I'd be brewing alcohol in Upton.
If it weren't for the Director, I'd still be just some disciple or assistant somewhere.
Especially in Britain, where primitive levels of racial discrimination are rampant, the likelihood is even higher...
'Well, he might be like this because he himself suffered great persecution...'
Being of Huguenot descent, he's probably more sensitive to the pain of others.
But just because someone has suffered themselves, does it mean they will necessarily empathize with the pain of others?
On the contrary, there are many who act even more viciously.
It might sound bad to say this, but our professor was like that.
He went through all sorts of hardships to become a Royal Fellow, but the way he abused his power was just... unbelievable.
Compared to that, our Director is a person of character.
He possesses character proportional to the other person's skill, but since my skill is the best, when it comes to me, he's the best person of character, that's what I mean.
"Alright then... Let's cut it."
"Good. But if it can be saved, save it."
"Of course. In a way, it's more precious than a limb."
"Yes, yes. If you treat it that way, those people will surely feel something."
And so, for these reasons, I found myself entering the operating room.
"No... No..."
The moment I stepped in, I immediately wondered if I had made a mistake.
To simplify the process, I wasn't doing the initial consultations; our bright spark, John Snow, was handling them.
This really makes you feel that talent exists...
This guy didn't intuitively understand the miasma or whatever experiments; he just seems to understand it in his head just by hearing about it.
I feel a bit sorry for the other friends when I say this, but frankly, the one who understands 21st-century hygiene concepts and sterilization the best is none other than John Snow.
Is that why?
The patient who was dragged in had already taken off his lower garments.
His shirt was also unbuttoned, exposing his belly, and on that exposed lower abdomen, an 'X' was marked.
'This means it has to be cut off...'
I thought maybe if I looked at it, my opinion might change, but no.
This has to be cut off.
"Euaa, no!"
When people become desperate, don't they usually become more perceptive?
Just by looking at my face, he seemed to realize what was about to happen and started going crazy.
Of course, it was no use.
Joseph is a giant too.
"Euaa!"
Moreover, Alfred was right beside him.
Click.
"You already agreed."
Muttering as if we were criminals here to harvest organs, he turned on the gas.
No matter how agitated a person is, they're no match for gas, so he went limp immediately.
I placed the slumped patient on the operating table and checked once more.
"How is it?"
"No."
"Right..."
Everyone had long been accustomed to amputations.
In fact, they had long been somewhat accustomed to death as well.
But they weren't accustomed to this kind of amputation.
They shouldn't get accustomed to it.
It's something that makes everyone somber, that's what I mean.
"Clean it, first."
"Uh, uh."
Joseph cleaned diligently.
Without a word.
"The instruments?"
"Here they are."
Colin, after answering, was just fidgeting with the instruments.
'But we can save half of it...'
In the meantime, I calculated the resection range.
Simultaneously, I prayed.
'Lord, may this soul find peace.'
I'm praying because it seems unlikely.
What can I do...
I have to at least pray.
Ah, there's one more thing I can do.
"Ah, if only you had drunk water instead of alcohol, we wouldn't have to cut it off!"
I shouted with all my might.
Hoping that through this incident, reckless alcohol consumption would decrease.
Thud.