I'm tired.
I'm done.
I didn't know how or why I ended up here, standing on the edge of this bridge, but somehow, here I was.
I gripped my shirt tightly over my chest, the fabric constricting around me like a prison. The invisible pain that gnawed at my insides felt relentless, a weight no medicine could ever heal. It was suffocating...the kind of pain that pressed in from all sides, drowning out the world. The people. The noise. Everything. I no longer belonged in it.
The night air bit at my skin, sharp and cold as it wrapped itself around me. I could feel the heat of the asphalt through my shoes, but it offered no comfort, just a harsh contrast to the chill in my bones. Cars rushed by behind me, their headlights flashing like fleeting ghosts, casting flickering glows on the darkness around me. The lights blurred together, partially blinding me, but all I could hear was the silence.
I reached into my left pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. One by one, I had been letting them burn away my thoughts, one bitter drag at a time. I pulled a stick from the pack. The first drag hit my lungs hard, like burnt paper. The taste was sharp, bitter, and heavy. It settled in my chest, crawling through me like poison. It was like holding onto a memory I knew I should let go of, but it was too precious, too familiar to release. But it was the only thing that numbed the ache, even if just for a moment.
The weight of it, of everything, pressed down on me, and for a second, I wondered if I, too, would fade away, just like that smoke, dissolving into the air without a trace. Something once there, but now gone, its absence felt but never fully understood.
I held onto the railing, my knuckles white, and looked out over the edge. The drop looked endless, the cold night below inviting me to fall. I stood there, frozen, both hands gripping the steel as if it were the only thing holding me to this world. I tried to let go, to let everything slip away, but something made me hesitate. A quiet moment, suspended in time.
And then, I heard her.
"No! No! Don't do this!" Her voice pierced the silence, sharp and urgent.
I froze.
She didn't know me. She didn't know what had led me there, didn't understand the darkness I carried inside me. But she was there. Standing right there. And in that moment, her presence was more than I had ever expected.
She stepped closer, unafraid. Without hesitation, her hand shot out, warm and firm, gripping mine before I could even react. The force of her pull took me back, closer to the railing again. She wasn't letting go.
"Please... don't do this..."
She was crying now, but all I could hear was the pounding of my own heart. My mind was a blur, drowning out her words. The dark thoughts were louder than anything she could say, but she didn't stop. She pulled at me with a determination I couldn't understand, wrapping her arms around me, refusing to let go.
And then, her words came. Soft, but with a weight that made everything stop.
"...you don't have to be perfect."
My mind stalled. Her words echoed in my head, and for the first time, something inside me shifted. The pressure in my chest loosened, just a little.
Could I be the person I wanted to be? Did I have to be this broken thing forever?
I didn't even know how I stepped back. It was slow, almost hesitant, but my hands, still gripping the railing, started to loosen. The pull of her presence, her compassion, was enough to break through the darkness. She didn't need to say more. Her actions spoke louder than anything I could have imagined.
I felt my eyes burning, tears threatening to spill. The world became a blur of emotion, and I turned to her. I saw her, streaked with tears, but her arms were still around me, holding me steady. I could barely breathe, the lump in my throat was making it hard to speak.
I climbed back over to her side, and for the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to fall into her arms. She didn't let go. She held me tight, as if she understood. As if she had been there too.
She spoke again, her voice softer now but still full of hope. "I know it's hard right now. Nothing's going your way. And it feels like there's no way out. But I know... I know that someday, life will turn around. Whatever's hurting us will slowly fade. And maybe, just maybe, we'll find the happiness we've been waiting for. So... let go of all of it. Let yourself breathe again, as if today never happened."
I couldn't respond right away. My chest felt tight, the words caught in my throat. But as I closed my eyes, I let myself feel it, her presence. The promise that maybe... just maybe... there was something worth living for.
"Okay," I choked out. "Okay."
I didn't know how or when, but something had already changed.
Words saved me that night. Words could kill, but words could also heal.