MO XI WASN'T MUCH GOOD in the kitchen, so he had to trouble the imperial cooks to rise from their beds and make something filling.
Their encampment was close to the water where plenty of carp flourished. The cook, not daring to slight Xihe-jun, carefully prepared a bowl of fish congee and steamed a basket of crab roe soup dumplings. He was about to add even more dishes when Mo Xi said, "That's enough. I just need something light."
He returned to his tent carrying a wooden tray. Mo Xi lowered the thick curtain and took up the fire tongs to coax the brazier to burn more merrily. Then he padded over to wake Gu Mang.
When Gu Mang slowly opened his eyes, he saw Mo Xi's cool features hovering hazily before him. He began to struggle, as if he wanted to say something, but Mo Xi cut him off. "Okay. Enough of that about dirtiness. Are you hungry?" He didn't wait for Gu Mang to respond before setting the tray down on the bedside table. "Eat something."
His tone wasn't exactly gentle, and contained a measure of feigned annoyance. But compared to the furious man at the hot spring yesterday, he was sweet as honey.
Gu Mang wasn't interested in making himself suffer. The instant he smelled the food, he sat up, reached out to take a bowl, and tucked in without another sound. The congee was creamy and light, the pure-white slices of fish meltingly tender. He finished it all in one go. Newly energized, he reached out to grab a soup dumpling.
Mo Xi stopped him. "Chopsticks."
Gu Mang paused. He didn't like using chopsticks because he couldn't handle them properly. But since his lord had given the command, he had no choice but to clumsily grab the chopsticks and poke doggedly at the dumpling. The thin skin of the dumpling broke, and the soup spilled out. This wasn't a problem in itself, but Gu Mang continued to chase that broken dumpling around the basket until he had made a complete mess of it. He never managed to grasp the entire dumpling; his chopsticks finally closed around a small piece of the skin, but the meat filling had tumbled out.
Mo Xi couldn't bear to watch any longer. He stiffly took the jade chopsticks from Gu Mang's hand and ate that tragic dumpling himself. Then he picked up an intact dumpling and brought it up to Gu Mang's mouth.
Gu Mang probably thought this person was crazy, viciously mean one second and handfeeding him the next—he simply couldn't wrap his mind around it. He stared in silence.
"Open your mouth," Mo Xi said, impatient.
Gu Mang truly was famished, so after a second of hesitation, he opened his mouth and bit into the dumpling Mo Xi had picked up for him. It burst with a pop, spraying soup everywhere. Mo Xi couldn't dodge in time and received a perfectly aimed faceful of soup. Gu Mang hadn't fared much better; his lips were painfully scalded, and he spat out the half-bitten dumpling with a hiss. Just as he thought. Mo Xi hated him and wanted him to suffer...
Mo Xi grabbed Gu Mang's chin and titled his face up, interrupting Gu Mang's thoughts. For a moment, he thought Mo Xi was angry and wanted to slap him again. His blue eyes flickered uneasily. But the pain he expected never arrived. He looked down, his lashes fluttering as he studied Mo Xi's expression. Mo Xi was staring at his mouth, his face inscrutable. After some time, Gu Mang heard him murmur through gritted teeth, "Why are you always..."
Always what? Mo Xi didn't finish his sentence, but pain stabbed through Gu Mang's head as blurry scenes flashed through his mind.
At some other point in time, this had happened before. He had eaten something too hastily and burned his tongue—and then? And then it seemed like someone had also grabbed his chin like this, tilting his face up to peer at him while grumbling about him not being more careful.
Just nibble a small hole in it first, then eat it. No ones going to take it from you. Let me see how bad it is. Then for some inexplicable reason, that person had suddenly bent down and kissed him on the mouth, cool lips wrapping around his tender and scalded tongue.
This memory made Gu Mang bewildered, made his heart throb. He licked his lips without realizing. The movement seemed to set a fire in Mo Xi's chest. Even as it blazed bright inside him, his eyes went dark. After a beat of silence, Mo Xi slowly released him, turning his fair, handsome face aside.
After Gu Mang finished eating, he felt Mo Xi's eyes on him once more—it was time for him to take his medicine. Gu Mang knew he couldn't avoid it, so he gulped down the medicine to get it over with as fast as possible. He never anticipated that Mo Xi would bring him a second jar. His eyes widened.
"It's for your fever," Mo Xi said, his tone indifferent. "I had the healers here prepare it. Drink."
Helpless, Gu Mang chugged this jar of medicine as well with an unpleasant expression. Mo Xi cleared away the dishes and said, "Go to sleep."
"This is your bed," Gu Mang replied carefully. "Yesterday, you said I..."
"I don't want to talk about what happened yesterday." Mo Xi cut him off. "Nor am I helping you because I feel guilty about it. If you got sick, I would be inconvenienced. I don't wish to be inconvenienced."
Gu Mang fell silent.
"Do you understand?"
A nod.
"Then go to sleep."
Mo Xi brought the tableware back to the imperial cooks. By the time he returned to the tent, Gu Mang had indeed obediently gone to sleep. But likely because yesterday's incident in the hot spring had badly frightened him, he didn't dare be too presumptuous and had curled up as small as he could in one corner of the bed.
Mo Xi stared at him for a moment, expressionless. He picked up a felt blanket and covered Gu Mang with it.
Perhaps it was because he was sleeping in Mo Xi's bed, surrounded by his scent. Gu Mang furrowed his brow and slept fitfully, images flashing now and again through his head. These images were blurry and disconnected at the beginning, but by the end, like a meandering stream pouring into a rushing river, a vivid memory returned to his feverish head.
He hazily recalled the day Mo Xi had come of age.
Gu Mang had gathered up a pocketful of jangling cowrie shells and gone to a nearby market for a jar of pear-blossom white wine and two or three good dishes. The cold wind rustled past him as he slipped into Mo Xi's tent, arms full of food and wine.
"Shidi, Shidi!"
Mo Xi had been reading. When he looked up and caught sight of Gu Mang, he was visibly surprised. "What are you doing here so late?"
With a smile, Gu Mang put everything down and shook out his aching limbs. "I'm here to keep you company. Aren't you going to be twenty in a few shichen?"
Mo Xi looked astonished. "I forgot..."
Gu Mang laughed. "I just knew it! You think of nothing but spell techniques—of course you've even forgotten about something like this." He pulled over a small table and started arranging everything on it as he cheerfully continued, "Don't worry. You may have forgotten, but your shige hasn't."
Mo Xi rolled up his scroll and rose to help him, trying to hide his blush. "Thank you very much," he murmured.
"What are you thanking me for? You only come of age once in your life—how sad would it be if you spent it out here by yourself? C'mere, let Shige keep you company." He grinned mischievously. "I'll keep you company, as you change from a little brat into a grown man." He winked, then summoned up a solemn expression. "Through youth and into adulthood."
What could Mo Xi say to something like that. Such smarmy behavior should have infuriated him. At that time, however, Mo Xi had been harboring long-standing feelings for Gu Mang. He had tried to confess them on several occasions, but each time, something had gotten in the way. So he'd kept his feelings suppressed in his heart. Now, on the night of his coming of age, the object of his affections had not only remembered the date, but had even snuck into Mo Xi's tent to be with him. Forget Gu Mang calling him a "little brat"—he could've said much worse and Mo Xi wouldn't have cared.
Gu Mang lifted the lids of the food boxes to reveal several humble and common dishes. After he finished setting the table, he warmed a pot of good wine on the stove. The brothers chatted and ate, and the night grew dark before they knew it.
Gu Mang back then had only seen Mo Xi as a little shidi he was very close with, and was completely unguarded around him. That night, Gu Mang had a bit too much to drink and the wine had gone to his head, so he was teasing Mo Xi mercilessly. In contrast, Mo Xi remained relatively sober and restrained. Although he had also downed two cups of wine, he was hardly inebriated. As he watched his shixiong get more and more unruly, he had the feeling it would be improper to let this continue. After a moment of consideration, he told Gu Mang he would walk him back to his own tent.
But Gu Mang was having fun—how could he be willing to leave? Chuckling, he slung an arm around Mo Xi's shoulders and affectionately scooched closer. "No way, why would Gege go home so early?"
"You've had too much," Mo Xi said, exasperated, as he disentangled himself from Gu Mang and tried to pull him up from the table.
Gu Mang very helpfully stood up, but he had no intention of leaving whatsoever. He paced around the table, then threw himself into Mo Xi's arms, laughing. "Shidi, we're two good bros, two good bros, ah ha ha ha ha..." As he giggled, he buried his burning face in the crook of Mo Xi's neck. "The first time I saw you at the academy, you weren't even as tall as I am. You looked so small and serious." He chuckled, oblivious to the flush making its way up Mo Xi's neck. "In a blink of an eye, you've become a man even stronger and taller than your shige."
He stumbled to his feet once more and reached out to cup Mo Xi's face. Beaming, he continued, "Mm-hmm, it's just your face that's still the same. When you're not glaring, you look so delicate and pretty."
Unfortunately, he was too drunk to notice how complicated Mo Xi's expression had become. The brightest love, the greediest lust, and the deepest tenderness all surfaced one after another...only to be forced down again by the coldest self-control. Separated by mere inches, Mo Xi tore his gaze away from Gu Mang's face. "Shixiong should go sleep," he said firmly. "I'll help you back."
"Mm-hmm, sleeeeep..." Laughing, Gu Mang tried very hard to straighten up, but before Mo Xi could lead him anywhere, he folded at the waist like a crab that had spent the winter drunk. Without warning, he collapsed against Mo Xi again, his limbs all askew.
Both of them stumbled. The force of Gu Mang's weight upon him sent Mo Xi tumbling backward onto the army bed, Gu Mang heavy on his chest. "I don't feel like leaving," Gu Mang mumbled, "My tent is so far away..."
Mo Xi was at a loss.
"I'll sleep right here."
Gu Mang was used to acting quite casual with Lu Zhanxing and his other buddies. But because his little shidi Mo Xi was beautiful, highborn, and the picture of icy aloofness, Gu Mang cherished him but took care to keep himself in check. He always worried that he might accidentally upset this noble young master three years his junior. If Gu Mang were sober, he definitely wouldn't be so forward. Even if he was exhausted and wanted to stay over, he'd still ask with a smile, "Is it okay if Shixiong sleeps here for the night?"
But the wine had muddled his head. He no longer had so many reservations, and even his cautious habit of asking for permission had faded. Like some jianghu bigshot, he tossed out a demand without an ounce of hesitation and let out an enormous yawn. Leaving Mo Xi to his vibrant mess of emotions, Gu Mang wasted no more time—he closed his eyes and went to sleep.
Mo Xi's face was going green. He gritted his teeth as he looked down at the head resting on his chest. "Get up..."
How could he let Gu Mang sleep here? He felt such unspeakable desire toward him, such that it tormented his heart day in and day out. How could he possibly let Gu Mang so unwittingly sleep by his side?
But it seemed like Gu Mang was really about to spend the night like this. The frustration in Mo Xi's chest blazed to life. He decided he would get up and haul Gu Mang to his feet. Even if he had to carry Gu Mang piggyback to his tent, that was preferable to Gu Mang sleeping here with him. But Mo Xi had barely twitched before Gu Mang lifted his head again, seemingly alert. "No, no! I just remembered!" he piped up. "I can't sleep yet!"
With that, Gu Mang rolled over, getting off Mo Xi. He reached into the collar of his robe as he mumbled, "I nearly forgot. I even bought you a coming-of-age present... Hey, where'd it go?" Laying there in Mo Xi's bed, Gu Mang fished around in his robes for a long time. At last, he produced a crumpled little book from within his lapels. He gazed triumphantly at the pamphlet in his hand, then pulled Mo Xi close. He looked every bit the part of a scoundrel elder brother corrupting the youth. "Heh heh, it's your twentieth birthday—that means you've come of age. Your Gu Mang-gege knows you like to read. I couldn't afford to get you anything expensive, but I dredged this up from the Jiuzi book stall. It's cheap, but it's definitely something else..."
He boasted of his purchase like a salesman shamelessly hawking his wares. Then he shoved the book into Mo Xi's hands, his enthusiasm obvious. "Look at it, look at it!"
Mo Xi didn't pick up Gu Mang's implication, nor could he make heads or tails of Gu Mang's weaselly expression. He honestly thought Gu Mang had brought him an interesting book, so he took the pamphlet and opened it. At first glance, he didn't understand. At second glance, he saw that it was full of mysterious drawings, but was still unsure.
Gu Mang was lying next to him. He inched his warm body closer as he laughed, "So? Isn't it great?"
Some minutes passed, yet he still hadn't heard Mo Xi make a sound. Rather, that youth's beautiful face was filled with some confusion. Gu Mang was flabbergasted. "No way, you don't like it? It's so thrilling. Gege spent a long time picking it out." He followed Mo Xi's gaze, paused for a moment, and then said, "Shidi."
"Hm?"
Gu Mang sighed. He looped one arm over Mo Xi's shoulders. "You're holding it upside-down." He plucked the book from Mo Xi's fine- boned hands and flipped it over. Clearing his throat, he chuckled, voice smooth and low. "C'mere, be good. Gege will teach you how to read it right side up. Voila, look—" Gu Mang proclaimed.
With a single glance, Mo Xi's fair and gallant features flushed beet red. This—this was a fucking porn booklet!