Harry was busy reading the article in question — which was definitely garbage.
'Harry Potter's Woes of the Heart
A boy like no other — but still suffering the trials of any teenage love affair. Deprived of love since the tragic demise of his parents, fourteen year-old Harry Potter found solace at Hogwarts; or so he thought. His steady girlfriend, muggleborn Hermione Granger, seems to have developed a taste for famous wizards.'
The article went on to express how Hermione had cruelly cheated on Harry with Viktor Krum, breaking Harry's heart shortly before the Yule Ball and sending him into Ginny's arms. "Oi, Gin, there's a quote here from you about me being a crap kisser," Harry pointed out, and the redhead snorted.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I told so many people, I suppose one of them went to Skeeter about it. At least she's excusing it as you being heartbroken and not just you being bad at snogging," she said with a supportive pat to the shoulder. "I'm sorry I can't be… 'the one you truly yearn to be with', by the way," she added, checking the article quote by learning over Harry's shoulder. "Clearly while I resemble your mother, it's not enough to tear your heart away from that harlot over there."
"I beg your pardon!" Hermione gasped when she realised Ginny was talking about her. Beside her, Ron went almost purple in the face. Harry tossed the magazine her way, watching her eyebrows rise into her hairline. "This is… where did she get all this?"
"Out of her arse, by the looks of it," Ginny mused. Neville snorted pumpkin juice from his nose. "No, the bit about Viktor asking me to come to Bulgaria. That was right after he pulled me from the lake, there's no way she was around to hear it!" Hermione explained. Ron spluttered, grabbing the magazine to read it himself.
"He wants you to go to Bulgaria? Never felt this way about any other girl — don't tell me that's all real?"
Hermione nodded, blushing faintly. "That part is. Obviously the rest of it is drivel."
"I don't know, Granger," the soft drawl of Draco Malfoy cut through the air. "That bit about Potter being a terrible kisser probably isn't too far off the mark. I don't blame you for setting your sights higher. Positively Slytherin of you." The remark made Ron growl, and Hermione glare. Harry just snorted.
"At least I can improve my kissing skills," he said, meeting grey eyes with a devilish look. "Sadly I don't think there's anything you can do about being an utter prat."
"You'd have to find someone willing to help you improve, Potty," Draco taunted. Harry winked at him.
"Are you offering, Malfoy?" That made several people eavesdropping choke on whatever they were eating, while Ginny howled with laughter. Draco went bright red, turned on his heel and left. Harry's smirk widened. "I can't believe you just propositioned Malfoy!" Hermione hissed. Harry shrugged.
"Made him leave, didn't it?" He couldn't wait to get Draco alone later; he would pay for that comment about Harry's kissing skills.
"Still. Gross, mate." Ron shuddered, making a face. Harry didn't react, even when Neville nudged him under the table, the tiniest grin on his lips. "This article is out of order, though. It makes Hermione look like some sort of… scarlet woman." Ron was blushing as he said it, and Hermione's lips pursed.
"Oh, come off it," Ginny argued. "No one with half a brain is going to believe this rubbish. I think it's hilarious, to be honest. Kudos to you, Hermione, for clearly being sexy enough to score two super famous wizards. Sorry I'm such an opportunistic slag that I sunk my claws into Harry as soon as you tossed him aside." Ron looked like he was going to have a stroke at the language coming from his baby sister's mouth.
"Quite frankly, I'm offended," George announced, dropping onto the bench on Ginny's other side, his twin following. "I spend way more time with Harry than Ginny does. Why can't I be the opportunistic slag?"
"You were too busy sucking face with Durmstrang boys, remember?" Harry pointed out. George pouted. "Just the one Durmstrang boy, thank you!" he protested. "Who do you think I am, Hermione?" This was said with a wink towards the curly-haired girl, and actually startled a laugh out of her.
"I can't believe you're laughing about this," Ron muttered, scowling at his plate of eggs. Harry shrugged.
"The worst thing we can do is give it credibility by being upset about it. Best to just laugh and move on." No one whose opinion mattered would believe it, and it would die down quicker if they didn't let it get to them.
Ron didn't look convinced, and Hermione still didn't seem sure how to react to the whole thing, but then Ginny grabbed the magazine and started dramatically reading the best (rather, worst) bits, so Harry was too busy laughing to care.
.-.-.-.
It was hard, but Harry managed to escape Ron and Hermione long enough to get to the heirs' meeting a few days later. They were easing up on him a little, after he'd spun a tale about getting a letter from Sirius saying he was somewhere in Ireland, and also told them about seeing Mr Crouch on the map. Even Snape had been confused by that one, but agreed it was fairly harmless on the spectrum of secrets Harry was keeping, and would be a good measure of whether Ron and Hermione had told Dumbledore about the map. He hadn't said anything directly to Dumbledore yet, but that didn't seem to be bothering the headmaster, increasing Harry's suspicions that his two ex-best friends were spying on him. He felt sick every time he thought about it.
He was glad to be in a room full of people who hated the headmaster as much as he did, Susan squeezing his shoulder in sympathy when he told them all about Dumbledore's plot. "I can arrange for someone to hex Weasley if you'd like," Daphne volunteered. "Or Granger. I'm sure Pansy would jump at the opportunity."
"Not Malfoy?" Harry asked with a brow raised. Blaise, Daphne and Cassius shared a glance. Harry's stomach flipped. "What?" "Draco has been acting… strange lately," Blaise admitted.
"Strange how?" Fear gripped Harry's heart — had Dumbledore got to Draco too? He hadn't thought to ask Snape to check him over.
"He isn't going on about how much he hates muggleborns, for one," Daphne drawled. "He's been positively nice to the first years. And he came with me when I went to study Arithmancy with Ernie and Terry Boot."
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