I shook my head and kept walking.
I heared birds chirping, mixing with the soft scrape of my shoes on the cracked cement and the scattered voices of neighbors I passed every morning. Their voices came and went, as if conversation was something that simply existed for them.
I never knew these people I've passed.
Though the distance of our homes weren't so vast, I wouldn't have recognized most of them if they'd spoken to me first.
I've never known their names nor the names of their children who sometimes chased each other past my gate. I've never known their faces, not when they stand beyond the gates seeking my mother out.
Home had always been my anchor, or perhaps my cage. Often times I'd go out was to buy something from a nearby stop, visit a friend's house to feel company, or follow the same route to her home for school with my head down.
So I was never familiar with people. How to interact with them, engage in simple conversations, and to ask [ H■lp ].
The cold wind brushed past me.
I felt a little comforted and I started to quicken my steps.
Her house eventually flickered into view in the distance. I slowed, my breath hitching slightly as I approached.
I turned left and saw her home. It was a modest place, tucked away in the corner of a narrow alley where a few houses shared the space.
I came here first... again. It's not like I was always early; it's that she didn't bother to catch up to time.
Just then, I felt someone's hand resting on my shoulder.
—?
???
"BuUh!"
The sound sliced through the morning quiet. I flinched, my heart hammering against my ribs as I nearly jolted out of my skin. I hadn't heard a single footstep.
It shook me awake from my drowsiness and I looked behind me, meeting her gaze as she met mine in return. She smiled, though there was something in her eyes that didn't quite match—a flicker of something unreadable that made me wonder if the smile was merely a well-worn mask.
I furrowed my brows, annoyed that I'd been caught off guard, though a small, traitorous part of me felt a pulse of warmth. At least someone had noticed I was there.
"Hah! Told you I was good at jumpscares."
She teased, her expression twisting into a smug, triumphant grin.
I didn't answer right away. I just watched her. She had this way of occupying space without ever feeling permanent. I glanced back at the thick utility pole near the corner; she must have been coiled behind it, her thin frame perfectly concealed.
"Yeah yeah, I should've seen that coming."
I was exasperated, shaking the remaining tension from my bones.
"Anyways, you scared the heck out of me—"
"I know, I'm just that good."
She stepped ahead of me, already moving, like the conversation had settled itself.
"...Okay."
I whispered to her back, falling into step behind her.
——————————————————
As we passed the alley where the black cat lay, I glanced behind me hoping to spot her. She'd vanished, deep into the alley where darkness shrouded the secrets we kept.
She didn't leave a trail, not that I saw any. It baffled me how she carried herself to a place only she knows. A place where light couldn't reach.
[ I kn■w where sh? went. ]
[ Sometimes, you return to the place that
?•■■? you. Not out of weakness, but because it's the only place where ■■•? is normal. Where there are no expectations for you to keep—■?]
I didn't know where she went. But I preferred my thoughts not to linger too long on someone I couldn't comprehend.
[...]
We took another turn where the alley faded into the background.
——————————————————
Minutes bled into one another as we stood by the roadside.
When a vehicle finally rattled into view, we raised our hands in unison.
The movement was instinctive, something that I did unconsciously to keep myself in the present moment, but not today. I felt a strange, numbing erosion of my own consciousness.
The usual rhythm of the day tried to tug us forward, yet the air felt heavy.
Then, a pedicab pulled up to where we were standing, and then began slowing down. The creaking of the metal frame signaled to us that we could climb in. She got in first, and then I did too. We both sat on the bench next to each other.
Then something changed.
Not in the air, not in the way the pedicab creaked as it began to move.
Somewhere else... An unnamed feeling, one that has neither beginning nor end, sitting silent and unfit somewhere in the bottom of my throat.
[ "Ic■n't re■ember ■hy." ]
It clearly meant something. I just couldn't figure out what it was.
The wheel, once stagnant, slowly started to roll back ahead. I felt the air hitting my face, keeping me sane from whatever was bothering me.
I went through the inventory of things in my mind, the one you do with your thoughts when something seems off and you cannot figure out what you forgot.
Was there work I had left unfinished...?
A plea I forgot...
And memories I just couldn't recall...?
[ ... ]
The more I searched, the more I found only empty spaces. In a place supposed to be occupied by memories came a door that refused to nudge.
The world around me continued its steady, indifferent movement, yet I felt frozen, anchored to a fear I didn't recognize.
[ Like whatever I tried to forget b■ck then…
never really let me go. ]
——————————————————
A girl with a petite physique waved her hand to a nearby pedicab. Her hair was tied in a bun, rushed and messy, choosing practicality over neatness.
The pedicab seemed to notice her and slowed down. Two figures occupied the main seat, leaving only the front seat available.
It wasn't the most comfortable spot, yet with the short distance left, she could endure it.
She looked at the two figures before her, wondering about them silently. One was poised and confident, radiating an aura of quiet stillness. While the other was hunched, her head down—clearly a reflex she learned when she found herself around someone unfamiliar.
The pedicab buzzed to life, its wheels humming against the pavement.
The ride was particularly quiet, nothing to take note of. She tried recalling what she forgot; homework due today, presentation the whole group relied on her for, and an important quiz she forgot to study for.
She sighed.
She forgot to do that one homework where she needed to write a reflection after each lesson.
"..."
She facepalmed internally.
—————————————————
The pedicab slowed down near a school.
It was massive, stretching beyond with gates as its borders. Rows of classrooms lined themselves up perfectly—the walls thick enough not to hear the other side.
Students occupied the school grounds, some running back and forth to the restroom. Other students stayed just beside the entrance gate, hoping to meet up with someone. Although, they didn't touch beyond the gates that bound them, as it was school policy not to idle outside.
The petite girl got off the pedicab first, followed by the two figures who followed behind. By their silhouette, it was revealed to be our mc and her [ ■•■?■■ ].
The petite girl, known for her ability as a natural leader, was greated by her classmates as soon as they saw her. She smiled and greeted them back before going to her assigned classroom.
Two girls followed, who walked to their class. Their once silent conversation was replaced with a few casual questions that followed the rhythm of their steps.
The sun shone on puddles, reflecting the start of a new day. Vehicles covered the streets, waiting for a passenger while a bike blurred between them.
[ Why c■n't ■ remember? ]