Chapter 542: Eiji: You Get It, Right?
"No."
Wiz shook her head with a smile.
"The scroll itself is just imbued with magic. In other words, the teleportation spell inside has a preset destination. Anyone who uses it will be sent straight to the royal capital's dungeon!"
Despite saying that, she remained quite confident.
"This is extremely useful for adventurers! You can instantly teleport enemies away! Though it might be a bit troublesome getting out of the royal dungeon afterward—there could be fines."
"Wait, are you saying both the enemy and the user get sent to the dungeon?"
"Of course! It teleports all living beings within a one-meter radius, so naturally, that includes the user too!"
Wiz answered matter-of-factly, looking puzzled as if wondering why this was even a question.
"Teleporting yourself along with the enemy is completely pointless."
"...Oh!"
Wiz fell silent for a moment before suddenly having an epiphany.
"B-but if you stay more than a meter away from the enemy, you can teleport just yourself! That way, you can escape from danger!"
"In that case, why set the destination as the royal dungeon in the first place? Why not just buy a proper teleportation scroll that sends you somewhere normal? Plus, getting out of the dungeon comes with fines."
"...Oh, why did I do that?"
"You're asking me?"
Wiz widened her eyes, utterly confused.
"That's weird. Why did I even stock this item?"
She smacked her forehead, full of regret.
It seemed she hadn't realized the flaws in this magic item until Eiji pointed them out.
"How about this one?"
Wiz forced a smile and pulled out a second magic item.
"A lighting scroll! Just recite the incantation in the dark, and it'll illuminate the surroundings!"
"Scrolls are single-use, right?"
Eiji fell into thought.
"Exactly!"
Wiz regained her confidence.
"The Light spell sealed in this scroll is incredibly powerful! It shines as bright as the sun, lighting up even the darkest corners! And most importantly, it's super cheap—perfect for places like dungeons!"
"But if it's single-use, how do you read the incantation in the dark?"
"...?"
Wiz tilted her head, not quite following.
"If it's dark, you need light to read the scroll first to memorize the incantation. But once you open it, it's used up. So how does that work?"
"...Huh. Why did I stock this again?"
After a brief moment of contemplation, Wiz looked utterly remorseful.
"W-well, how about this portable toilet! Adventurers often struggle with bathroom breaks in the wild, and this magic item solves that! The only downside is that the flushing sound is really loud!"
"Aren't there tons of monsters in the wild? Are you trying to get your customers killed?"
"This! The Self-Destruct Necklace! When the wearer is near death, it burns their life force to trigger a massive explosion! Enough to take down any enemy in one hit!"
"Are you cursing me?"
One after another, Wiz presented seven or eight items, each torn apart by Eiji's ruthless criticism.
Wiz was on the verge of tears.
Tears were already welling up in her eyes, as if they could fall at any moment.
"Now I finally understand why you're still in debt after ten years of running a business!"
Eiji couldn't help but shoot her an admiring look.
"Your taste is truly no different from a dung beetle!"
Everything she fancied was literal crap!
He knew someone else who liked making utterly useless items too—Aozaki Touko from the Type-Moon world was exactly that kind of person. Once she got a novel idea, she'd charge ahead without thinking, making things purely on impulse with zero regard for cost-effectiveness.
If not for Eiji being special, none of her creations would ever sell!
But Wiz's skills surpassed even Aozaki Touko's!
Because even Eiji couldn't bring himself to buy a single item from her shop!
"Waaahhh!"
Wiz burst into tears.
A woman nearing thirty, her defenses were suddenly shattered today!
"Alright, alright, don't cry."
Eiji had no choice but to comfort her.
Was this really the same Ice Witch from before?
That iron lady who showed no mercy, slaughtering monsters without hesitation?
How utterly embarrassing.
"Though your taste is like a dung beetle's, I'm not a devil. I'll give you a bit more time!"
"Really?"
Wiz looked at him with pleading eyes.
Her tearful expression was pitifully endearing.
Usually, the landlady would soften at this sight. Given Wiz's beauty and friendly nature, she'd often grant her an extra month or two.
"I'll give you one more hour."
Eiji wore an expression that said "I can't help but indulge you."
"With an hour, you'll surely find a way to get the money, right? Ah, I'm so generous!"
"...Please give me another month!"
Wiz's face instantly stiffened, twisting into a "are you even human?" expression.
"No."
Eiji coldly refused.
"Why not?!"
Wiz looked indignant.
"What do you mean why? Did you think acting pitiful would sway me?"
Eiji scoffed. "You're nothing to me. Why should I do you any favors?"
"That's so cold! I worked at the Demon King's Castle for ten years, maintaining the barrier all that time. Even if there's no merit, there's effort!"
"And then you embezzled two billion, a debt you'll never repay even if you worked your whole life."
"Ugh..."
The mention of two billion instantly sank Wiz.
This debt was far too heavy, a thousand times more terrifying than rent, crushing her shoulders until she could barely breathe.
"Maybe I should go back to the Demon King's Castle as an executive?"
Wiz suggested timidly, shrinking her neck like an ostrich.
"No need to pay. Just consider it my monthly rent payment?"
Using work to pay rent.
As a Lich, her strength was formidable—certainly valuable. Wiz was confident about that.
"You're just a nominal executive. What, trying to freeload?"
Eiji's eyes turned cold, filled with disdain.
Who knew Wiz could be like this!
"Ugh..."
The shopkeeper let out a whimper of grievance.
"Wiz, don't you get it yet?"
Eiji sighed, his gaze sweeping over her.
"Don't you have something very valuable right on you?"
His eyes were full of implication.
"Something valuable on me?"
Wiz was shocked and immediately began inspecting herself.
"How is this possible? I've been wearing the same clothes for a year, washed until they're nearly faded. I never even buy accessories, don't own any makeup... No, wait—it seems there's still one valuable thing left on me!"
At last, she realized something, letting out a hollow, bitter laugh.
"The only thing of value left on me is probably myself, isn't it? In that case, there's only one way to pay the rent—selling myself to settle the debt!"