Late at night.
Adam was in the middle of enthusiastically showing off his wild imagination to Peggy when—
Ring ring!
The phone blared out of nowhere.
"Ignore it!" Adam said, glancing at the caller ID. Being a doctor, he couldn't help but check, even though he knew who it was. Lives could be on the line, after all!
"Sheldon?" Peggy asked, peeking over at him.
"Yep," Adam nodded.
"Pick it up already," Peggy said with a grin. "You really got him good this time. If you don't answer, he'll just keep calling."
"Fine, fine," Adam sighed. He could've left the phone ringing forever—Sheldon wouldn't get through—but what if the guy freaked out so bad he gave himself a stroke? Twitching eye, quivering lip… those are warning signs, you know! 😅
"Hey, Sheldon!"
"I hate you!"
The second the call connected, Sheldon's voice came through, dripping with anger and a dash of pouty hurt.
"Uh-huh," Adam chuckled, brushing it off. "To borrow a line from Mrs. Cooper: I'll always love you, my little lion-feeding baby."
In the Bible, Noah's Ark was packed with animals, and in Mrs. Cooper's mind, they munched on the corpses of sinners floating in the flood. Sheldon—God-doubting, God-bashing Sheldon—was a prime sinner in her book. But even so, he was her precious little troublemaker!
"My mom never said that second part!" Sheldon snapped over the phone. "Though it does sound like her… That's not the point! The point is you gave me nightmares!"
"You didn't think it was fun?" Adam teased. "It's like watching a superhero blockbuster! Tell me, out of all your friends, who else treats you this good? I wrote those plots and lines just for you—gave you a full-on immersive dive into a parallel universe where you're The Flash! Isn't that way cooler than Dungeons & Dragons?"
"…It was pretty immersive," Sheldon admitted, pausing for a second.
"You're welcome," Adam said with a smug little smile, then hung up.
"You know he's not gonna let this go, right?" Peggy said, laughing.
"Oh, I know," Adam replied, cracking up.
Ring ring!
The phone rang again.
"Yes?" Adam shot Peggy a knowing wink and picked up.
"Don't you dare hang up on me!" Sheldon yelled. "And let's switch to video—I wanna chew you out face-to-face!"
"Not the time, Sheldon," Adam shot back, shutting it down. If Sheldon were here in person, Adam would've already smacked him upside the head. "No kids allowed!"
"You were right earlier," Sheldon barreled on, not pushing the video thing. "The plot is more epic than your average D&D game. It gave me this insane immersive experience I've never felt before. But that's exactly why your betrayal stings so bad! Flash Birdman Sheldon? He's putting my whole world at risk. I hate you!"
"Uh…" Adam grimaced. "Okay, I'm sorry! You know how it is—once the creative juices start flowing, I lose all control. Don't blame me, blame the muse! I'm a victim here too!"
"Now all the Sheldons are rebelling, and it's your fault!" Sheldon shouted. "I'm officially putting you on notice, Adam Duncan—you're on my blacklist!"
"Oh nooo~," Adam drawled, channeling Leonard's over-the-top drama. He wasn't scared of Sheldon's blacklist one bit.
But that bravado didn't last long.
"Regretting it now, huh? Too late!" Sheldon said, dead serious.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh," Adam nodded earnestly, letting out a long sigh. "So, where do I rank? Can I take the top spot from Wil Wheaton? You know me, Sheldon—I'm pretty competitive!"
Wil Wheaton, the guy who played Wesley Crusher in Star Trek. Sheldon even had a "superfan Sheldon" persona, that's how obsessed he was with the franchise. Four years ago, at the Fourth Annual Southern U.S. Starfleet Convention in Jackson, Mississippi, the organizers hyped up that Wheaton would show. Sheldon's ultimate idol was Spock, no question, but he liked Wheaton too. So he endured a ten-hour car ride—breaking his bathroom rules and germaphobe code twice to deal with a rebellious bladder in filthy gas station toilets—just to meet him. But when he got there? Wheaton had bailed for something else. Total Bazinga! moment. From then on, Wheaton rocketed past sixty other rivals to claim the #1 spot on Sheldon's blacklist.
"You were below him, but now you've officially passed him. You're my #1 ultimate archenemy!" Sheldon bellowed, fuming.
"Thanks! My honor," Adam said, shooting Peggy a playful grin. "If you're gonna do it, go for first place!"
Peggy swatted him lightly, laughing. "Alright, stop messing with him."
"Fine," Adam said, giving Peggy the win. He smirked into the phone at a huffing Sheldon. "So I'm your ultimate archenemy now, huh?"
"No doubt about it!" Sheldon said, eyes bulging.
"You sure?" Adam asked, putting on a fake pout. "That's a shame. I was just about to get my good buddy a signed Spock set from Mr. Nimoy…"
"W-what?!"
Sheldon's anger evaporated instantly, his voice pitching up. "Mr. Nimoy? Leonard Nimoy? Mr. Spock?!"
"Is there any other Spock?" Adam asked with a sly smile.
"Of course not!" Sheldon yelled. "He's the eternal Spock! Adam, my best friend—welcome back!"
"No more ultimate archenemy?" Adam teased.
"…" Sheldon's face twisted in a mix of emotions.
"Relax, it's yours. Who else would I get a signed Spock set for?" Adam said, cutting the teasing short. "So, we're good friends again, just like that?"
"Yeah!" Sheldon cheered, practically bouncing.
"Sweet dreams!" Adam said, hanging up quick.
Over there, Sheldon hopped out of bed, grabbed his Spock action figure, chatted with it for a bit, and drifted off into a happy sleep.
In his dream…
"Adam Duncan's the mastermind behind all this! How could you forgive him so easily?!" Germaphobe Sheldon raged.
"Why not?" Superfan Sheldon stepped up, chin high. "I think Adam's the best friend ever!"
"Me too," Flash Birdman Sheldon chimed in.
"You two traitors! Selling out for a little bribe!" Germaphobe Sheldon couldn't take it, raising a rallying cry. "One betrayal leads to another—we won't stand for it! Down with Flash Birdman Sheldon! Down with Superfan Sheldon! Down with Throne King Sheldon! Brothers, charge!"
Countless Timid Sheldons lingered in the distance, hemming and hawing, too scared to move. Germaphobe Sheldon wasn't leading the charge himself—why would they?
"Numbers don't mean squat," Superfan Sheldon said smugly. "If Flash Birdman Sheldon steps in, you're all toast, no matter how many of you there are…"
"Hey, we're all family here," Flash Birdman Sheldon said, playing peacemaker. "I'm not here to wreck this family—I'm here to join it!" 😊
"No need to step in yet," Superfan Sheldon said, turning to Throne King Sheldon. "Commander?"
"You Timid Sheldons have gone too far this time!" Throne King Sheldon declared from his lofty seat, voice icy. "Superfan Sheldon, you've got my full military authorization."
"Roger that!" Superfan Sheldon snapped a salute, then boomed, "Red alert! Phaser cannons, lock and load on my command! Time to show you cowards what a real Star Trek war looks like! Numbers advantage? Against a pay-to-win player, you're nothing! Once Adam buffs me with Mr. Spock's aura, every cannon's charged to max—you're doomed! Submit or perish!"
Boom! Boom! Boom!
Hundreds of phaser beams lit up the sky, exploding into dazzling fireworks like the Big Bang reborn.
"First warning!" Superfan Sheldon barked, radiating cool confidence as he scanned the cowering Timid Sheldons.
Boom!
Before he could finish, the crowd scattered in a flash. Timid Sheldons might not have much going for them, but when it came to running? Top-tier pros! 🏃♂️
"Germaphobe Sheldon," Superfan Sheldon said, eyeing their leader. "Got any more complaints about our pal Adam?"
Germaphobe Sheldon: "…"
(End of Chapter)