I ached at the thought of begging you to make me important,
because loving you never felt like something I had to ask for
you were important to me without effort, without reminders, without conditions.
So why did I have to beg
for what I rightfully deserved?
You said you loved me.
You said we were in love.
We were dating, we had a name, a title, a promise
yet a whole day could pass
without a single word from you.
No call.
No message.
No "I thought of you today."
And in that silence,
my thoughts fought my reality.
I hoped you would reach out,
that you would remember me
without me having to make myself visible first.
I know what you might say,
Why didn't you just call?
But I had.
So many times that my fingers grew tired
of dialing first,
of caring first,
of choosing first.
And one day I stopped,
not because I didn't love you anymore,
but because I wanted to know
if you ever would reach out first.
All I wanted was to be treated the same way I treated you.
But I realized that was too much to ask,
because equality feels like a burden
to someone who is comfortable receiving without giving.
Yes, work is important.
I never wanted you idle or stuck.
I wanted you thriving.
But am I not worth five minutes of your day?
Five minutes to say my name,
to remind me I matter,
to let me know I wasn't just something you fit in
when life left you spare time?
I was busy too.
My days were full, my nights were heavy.
Yet I made time for you,
not because I was free,
but because you mattered.
So tell me,
why did loving you make me feel smaller?
Why did giving enough turn into being treated like less?
Why did my love, ever so patient, so present
become something you assumed would always wait?
My love was never demanding.
My time was never forced upon you.
I only wanted to feel chosen
without having to beg for it.
And now I understand,
when love makes you question your worth,
it was never love that failed you.
It was the one who forgot
that love should never feel like a plea.