Ayin's favourite pastime, watching Angela while pretending to watch agent Edward marvel at an abnormality he's unknowingly been working with for over three millennia. She mostly just stood there silently as he required no assistance until they began to expand into Briah, but her micro expressions always managed to give him something to ponder on.
Matters relating to the abnormalities and the agents could objectively be considered more interesting, but there was only so much amusement to be gained from watching Edward be shell shocked by the appearance of a breaching Ppodae when it's put on repeat for thousands of cycles.
Paying any heed to Edward's exaggerated tears as he put down the abnormality also made it harder to order the agent into the containment unit of an ALEPH when the time eventually comes for the man to meet his end once again.
Ignoring his spiralling thoughts, Ayin instead shifted his focus to Angela.
She has been very irritable lately. He didn't bother to comment on it as she never allowed it to get in the way of her duties, but he could tell from the way her eyebrow occasionally twitches.
'The target amount of energy has been collected, commencing refinement.'
"Good work, Angela." "Excellent work, manager." They both said at the same time, as they always do.
He could tell from the way her legs slightly shifted that she almost walked out of the office right then and there. That little conversation from a while back had a far greater effect on their routine than he had expected.
It was technically her turn to brew tea today, though he supposed he should support her interests.
"I'll handle it, you go on ahead." Angela bowed slightly before immediately rushing out of the office.
Through the cameras, Ayin watched with great amusement as she approached agent BongBong, commandeered the plant intended for him and curtly thanked the employee for the gift before heading towards their personal laboratory, much to the agent's confusion.
Despite his closer proximity to the laboratory, Angela had reached it long before he did, having already set up the equipment needed for her to continue her tests with the cactus.
She's spent many a loop trying to make it bloom while he occasionally chimed in with ideas. They must've tested hundreds of different scenarios by now—adjusting the amount of water or light, depriving it of one, depriving it of both, enriching the soil, degrading the soil, overheating or freezing it, and many more he's likely forgotten by now.
What he had expected to be a small pet project lasting a few weeks had instead turned into one of the many constants of the facility. Despite the constant failure, he was glad. It almost felt like Angela was living a normal life, pursuing her passions and overcoming obstacles along the way. The right for which he had stripped of her from the moment of her creation.
She had dug up an outdated bioanalyzer from somewhere, probably the welfare department, and was running an analysis on the cellular structure of the spiked plant.
He wanted to tell her it'd be pointless due to the sheer complexity of a living creature. Trying to work out the effect a tiny component like a single cell will have on the system at large was nearly impossible; they'd need specialized equipment to accomplish such a task, not a simple bioanalyzer meant for general health check ups.
But, it was good to learn from failure. Angela likely believed herself capable of filling in the gaps, which as her creator Ayin could say with confidence that she couldn't. All minds have to find the limits of their intelligence one day, and trying to analyze a plant cell by cell fits the bill well enough.
He prepared a pot before taking a seat across the laboratory, close enough to be present but far enough to not disturb. He couldn't help but sigh in content as he watched her struggle. It reminded him of when Benjamin was a rookie, brilliant yet inexperienced, fumbling around the laboratory as he struggled to keep up with Ayin's high standard.
He once again let out a sigh of content as Angela threw away the bioanalyzer, likely realizing the futility of such an endeavour. An hour and a half passed for him, meaning Angela likely spent over a hundred and fifty hours shifting through useless information. Much less time than he had expected.
The failure wasn't unexpected, the tool simply wasn't meant for research in the first place.
He could almost hear her cursing as she glared at both the plant and the bioanalyzer through every camera in the room. She had a bit of temper, compared to her usually neutral attitude.
He wasn't sure where she got it from, Carmen was never the type to anger easily.
A notification from a computer could be heard as another log was added to a file simply named 'Cactus', one among thousands. Angela poured herself a reheated cup of tea before silently settling down next to him, likely contemplating her next actions.
"It's about time for me to go bother Garion, I'll be back in an hour." He said, Angela nodded, only somewhat hearing his words.
Benjamin huffed loudly as he took a seat next to him in the cafeteria. His junior had deep bags under his eyes and was clearly in an agitated state. The complaining began immediately.
"It's ridiculous! He gives us a near impossible project, refuses to let us into the laboratory unless we pay him an exorbitant fee, then decides to make it worth over half of our total credits!"
Ayin had to hold back a roll of the eyes. He told him taking the class on botany was a terrible idea.
"That professor was a crook, I told you that day one. You refused to listen to me claiming you wanted to learn about everything, no matter how much the city tried to stop you."
Benjamin scratched his head in frustration, how rare it was to see him so ruffled.
"You could've pushed harder! How did you know anyways?"
Ayin wore a small calculated smirk to annoy the freshman as much as possible.
"Didn't I tell you on day one? I know all things."
His junior groaned before slamming his head onto the table, a few other students laughed awkwardly at the sight. Such instances were more common than not, really. Most had gone through something similar.
His smirk became slightly less calculated, Benjamin was amusing if nothing else. Ayin let him wallow in his own misery for a few minutes before finally deciding to speak up.
"Come on, I'll bail you out." Ayin said coolly.
Benjamin slowly raised his head to look at him, clearly unimpressed.
"How are you going to afford the laboratory fee? No offense meant but you're here on a razor thin scholarship, you're poorer than I am."
He found himself chuckling, mostly to hide the sting. "Always the doubter. We're not handing that disgrace of an instructor a single ahn. We'll be completing that near impossible project of yours in our dorm."
He began to walk away, heading towards their shared room. Benjamin appeared both unconvinced and utterly baffled, though he followed nonetheless.
"W-What? How are you going to do a phytochemical analysis without a laboratory?"
Ayin smirked as he pulled his junior close before whispering in his ear.
"By breaking every safety guideline in our university."
Benjamin clicked submit and let out a long winded sigh of relief before leaning back into his chair. "We somehow made it."
Ayin placed an ice pack on the younger man's face. He had a fever, likely due to the number of all nighters they pulled. He heard a muffled 'thanks'.
Ayin in comparison was completely normal, bearing no signs of exhaustion. All students had to get used to overwork eventually, the culture of the nest quickly crushed those unwilling or incapable of doing so.
"How?" Benjamin asked, making no attempt at removing the ice pack from his face.
"You seemed to know everything about cacti, I thought you only studied neuroscience."
Ayin leaned over Benjamin and raised the ice pack to stare him in the eye.
"Didn't I tell you? I know all things.
Ayin held back a chuckle at the memory, the first true step he and Benjamin took in their friendship. How nostalgic, to be conducting a study on cacti with someone he's close to.
The cactus will bloom if deprived of water for a period of time, around forty days, and then given a sufficient amount of hydration. He already knew the answer to Angela's little conundrum, Benjamin likely did as well, if he remembered the details of their first project together.
"What reason have you found to walk with such mirth?." It seemed like he had lost track of time, having stumbled upon Garion without realizing.
"Just an old man reminiscing about his past, pay no heed to me." Garion stared at him. He could practically feel her gaze dissecting his current being. A small smirk formed after a moment.
"Ah, this is about my neighbour in the depths, isn't it? The one you abandoned long ago."
With that single sentence, every bit of amusement left him immediately. To allow himself to be read so openly, how careless of him.
Garion walked past him, he couldn't bring himself to turn to look at her. "I wonder how he would feel? Knowing his beloved mentor disposed of him thousands of years ago."
He had no answer to give. All he could do was freeze his emotions, not allowing the arbiter to enjoy the sadism she seeked to satisfy.
"..."
"Remember my offer, feel free to visit my office for tea." He pushed through his feelings to speak such words, the script demanded it. He needed to challenge her expectations at every possible corner.
"Fufu, I just might." The sound of an automatic door closing told him he was alone.
A sense of frustration lingered. Why couldn't the strength of his heart match the horizon he saw in the distance? Always falling behind his vision.
Notes:Garion smirked, remembering the recent interaction between herself and the one who claimed himself a changed man.
In spite of his supposed acceptance of the past, it seemed that he was still unwilling to unburden himself of his sins; his heart still frozen in the face of it all, lest he be crushed under the weight of his own hatred.
It was amusing enough to see him relapse into old habits the moment he was confronted with the reality of records, though his persistence in facing the depths of her department over and over again continued to grate on her nerves.
In spite of reality, it seemed he was still determined to prove her wrong. How very like him, to grit his teeth and keep crawling, dragging his mangled being inch by inch.
Such pests are to be stamped out without mercy, that's the justification Garion made for herself as she approached his office.
Time marched onward, one reset at a time.
He continued to struggle with the script, Angela continued to struggle with the cactus.
Every cycle seems no different from the last, yet there are always subtle changes, visible only to those who have lived it for many millennia. Last cycle, Angela increased the temperature of the cactus' environment by a few celsius to see if anything was different, he tried tweaking CENSORED's abnormality log to see if the agents held up any better when faced with the monstrosity.
Neither of those resulted in a beneficial outcome, but that was still one possible course of action crossed out, a single sliver of knowledge that will build up over the centuries.
One droplet of change at a time, they'll fill an ocean that will drown out the old humanity, to make Carmen's dream come true, to show Angela a new world worth living in.
That's why he was overjoyed to see Garion walk into his office a few hours after the end of the work day. Not only has she willingly come seeking companionship, she went so far as to break her rigid schedule to do so.
Anyone could change, even her.
"Finally decided to come, have you?" Garion didn't honor his words with a response, instead silently gazing upon his office, taking in every little detail. He didn't miss the tiny smirk that formed after a moment, likely having made some far stretched observation about his and Angela's workplace.
He ignored his annoyance, instead gesturing for her to sit down. Her eyes narrowed upon seeing the fresh cup of tea already waiting for her, poured mere moments before she had made her entrance.
He hid his smug satisfaction by taking a sip from his own cup; it wouldn't do to antagonize her, he was trying to break the ice after all. She settled down across from him after a moment, taking a sip of her own.
"It's too flaky, and lacks the weight of proper black tea." She said after a moment. Ayin had intentionally made it closely resemble what she served him whenever he went to see Carmen, it seemed it still wasn't enough.
"Everyone has their preferences." How she was able to enjoy something so bitter he'll never understand.
In spite of her words, she continued to drink. Flaky it may have been, it appeared as though it was still adequate for her tastes, that was enough for him.
Neither of them spoke a word, there wasn't much to say unless they were prompted to do so. A cup was emptied, then two, then three. Only after the fourth cup did something finally happen.
Angela walked into the office, offering a curt bow to Garion before standing next to him.
"Increasing the temperature to sixty celsius then letting it cool appears to have done little, there was no progress made towards blooming." She said, prompting him to give her further ideas.
"Perhaps it's simply a matter of time? You could try leaving it at such temperatures for a longer period of time, there'd be little point in heating it up any further past this point." Angela gained a thoughtful look. She left a few seconds later after giving him a short nod.
"She's attempting to make a cactus bloom, you see. It's a recent project of hers." He explained to Garion.
She didn't respond, instead staring at the door through which Angela had just left.
"...She seems nothing like Carmen." Garion suddenly said.
"...That's true." He agreed. He's known that since the moment of her inception, it's what pushed him down this path in the first place.
"Then, what is she to you?"
Assistant, partner, creation, project, failed experiment. All of those would be technically correct statements, yet not one felt right.
"She's my final companion in hell, the second light that shines the path I walk." It wasn't a clear cut answer, closer to a deflection rather than a decision.
Nonetheless, it wasn't wrong.
"A replacement then." She slowly took a sip, allowing the words to settle in for a moment.
"The sins you have committed in the name of her ideal, they are beyond forgiveness. Through gritted teeth you've struggled, dragging your broken mind and railing against the cruelty of the world with all your being." Garion took a sip.
"Tens of millions died by your actions."
Citizen militias fought to their last, never truly knowing what they died for. They fought, for there was no other way of life allowed to them.
"Horrors never seen before unleashed upon the world."
Smoke rose high into the sky, spreading across the city and corrupting all that it touched.
"Those who dared to dream left shattered."
A grade one fixer screamed at him over the call, cursing him for all he had done.
"All for an ideal."
He told himself it was for the greater good.
"A single sin, for the sake of a hundred good deeds."
Benjamin returned to him, after all those years. He claimed to have finally understood him, that he was willing to bear his—their—sins together.
"Truly, that single sin must know no bounds, for it's beyond forgiveness…it's beyond judgement."
Captain Nikolai stood behind him as the former leader of the now defunct L Corp signed the contract of unconditional surrender, transferring all ownership of the nest and the district to him.
"For that sin, you were granted the title of Wing, to absolve all you have done in the eyes of the city."
In just a year, only veterans remembered the war. The rest of the world had forgotten and moved on, for enkephalin electricity was 7% cheaper.
"No one would dare judge a Wing, yet that didn't stop you."
One must wonder then, what is the price of a percent?
"With your own two hands, that is what you have turned her ideals into."
'I want to create a world where people can live without fear! A world where people can dream for a better future!'
"With your own two hands, you have dragged down your heroine."
Cut, pull, rinse, repeat.
"And faced with reality, with the now broken dreams of a woman who no longer exists, you have turned to another to give you purpose, another reason for you to struggle."
'You may open your eyes then, should you wish.'
"I'm not decrying you of course, for I too have committed but a single sin. Just as you have dared to struggle against the world, I have chosen to exist within it."
He didn't have a choice, he told himself, for there was but one path forward.
"You and I, we who walk the singular path available to us, no matter the cost, no matter the crumbling. We are the new generation of humanity born from this epoch, better fit than any other to thrive in this unchanging age."
A future he saw beyond the horizon, the herald of a new era.
"That's why your struggle for change is futile. The struggle is what perpetuates the cycle." Garion ended her long speech with a sip, even if the tea was cold by now. It almost felt like a declaration of victory.
"..."
"I disagree with little of what you've said, with the exception of only one thing. Angela is not a replacement, she's the one to bring forth the age of that ideal." Garion's glare bore into his skull, he didn't back down.
"I do not struggle to change the world, I'm merely the one to plant the seed. To grow and nurture that sapling falls to another." Ayin was perfectly composed, not a single word had pierced his armor.
"We are not the new generation, Garion. You said it yourself, this world of ours is unchanging, even if those within are ephemeral. Nay, we are the old, soon to be drowned and buried under the new world that approaches, taking our sin along with us." He grinned at her, truly the two of them were no different.
"You already know this, don't you? We're both fated to drown, the question is who we wish to be as we disappear under the sand.
"The city is incapable of change. Broken wings will outstretch anew, someone will replace me as an Arbiter of the head, swinging their claws at those below. Even if a cycle is broken, it will be set back in its place soon enough."
Garion answered him calmly, even if it carried an undercurrent of emotion, too turbulent to not notice.
Ayin's grin stretched further, the conversation had gone just as he foresaw. "Then you've said it, a cycle can be broken, things can change. Even if the head sets the city back in its place, the same could not be said for the individual. You can change, just as I have."
"That's the choice we have, beyond the singular path we walk. The internal choice to struggle for change."
Garion quietly got up before leaving his office, uttering not a single word more. The two of them were truly the same, running when confronted with reality, holding onto their idyllic views.
He took a sip of his tea. It was sweet, exceedingly so.
Notes: