Angela had to once again retirate for herself that she wasn't doing anything wrong or risky. She had received full permission to speak to the sephirot so long as their suppression for the loop was completed, and as the second in command of the manager she was technically their superior, she had no reason to fear speaking to them.
So why? Why did it feel so difficult? Why did her heart weigh itself down whenever she thought of interacting with them?
'Do you know anything about making a cactus bloom?' That's all she had to say. They'd either know, or they wouldn't, it truly was that simple.
Even if they were—
"Hello miss Angela!" It appeared as though she had spaced out, allowing Malkuth to sneak up on her.
"Hello Malkuth."
'I'm surprised to see you down here, you rarely visit unless the manager has work outside his office.'
"I'm surprised to see you down here, you rarely visit unless the manager has work outside his office." She said, her voice still chipper despite the recent suppression.
'What are you up to? Is there anything I can help with? We should get to know each other better, we're coworkers after all.'
"What are you up to? Is there anything I can help with? We should get to know each other better, we're coworkers after all!" Always so energetic, always so hurrisome.
Always so eager to know her, just to forget in a few days.
"I've been attempting to make a cactus bloom, you see. Truthfully, I haven't had much success and was hoping to find some insight from you."
'Repairing malfunctioning systems? Don't we have a maintenance team for that?'
"Making a cactus bloom? What for? Does it relate to an abnormality somehow?" Malkuth tilted her body in questioning, confusion clearly evident.
…Of course, the response was different. She gave a different answer than the usual after all.
"Nothing as critical as that, it's merely a personal project of mine."
'They missed some breakdowns?! I'll make sure to set them straight!'
"Is that so? Unfortunately I don't know much about plants." The robot hummed to herself, tapping her notepad with a pencil in thought.
"Have you tried watering it?"
Angela almost snapped. "Of course. I've tried adjusting every physical variable. I wouldn't be here seeking help were it so simple."
Malkuth appeared to have noticed her frustration, awkwardly laughing to herself.
"I'm sorry for the obvious suggestion, it's just the first thing that came to mind. Well, since I can't offer any useful knowledge, I'll just say this instead—" Her eyes turned into an upward arrow as she gave Angela a thumbs up, likely a smile.
"—don't give up! No matter how many times you fail, you ought to keep moving forward without bending." A clerk entered holding a stack of papers.
"Miss malkuth, could you take a look at these papers? I think the disciplinary department made a mistake somewhere in their report." He said, far more relaxed than the weeks before thanks to how much his sephirot had mellowed out.
"Leave it to me!"
Malkuth slightly bowed to her. "I'll see you later Miss Angela, you should come to one of our meetings one day! I'll introduce you to the other upper sephirot."
Angela was about to refuse, such an affair would hold little meaning as it would be forgotten by the others in a few short weeks.
But she needed to find out whether the other sephirot knew anything, and a meeting would be the perfect opportunity to do so.
"Then, I'll be in your care." Angela returned the slight bow.
She heard 'That's great!' as the sephirot hurried out of the hall. Angela thought she also heard a planned time and date mentioned, though she wasn't fully sure.
It was a good thing she had all their schedules.
…Still, what a strange conversation, so different from the millions that came before it.
It made complete logical sense of course, Malkuth had simply reacted differently because Angela herself had spoken different words.
It made complete logical sense,yet she couldn't shake the feeling that she expected otherwise.
"You appear quite confused after having had such a simple conversation." Angela heard a voice she was beginning to despise with each reset.
"It's quite interesting isn't it? How many different interactions can arise from what is supposedly the same individual." Angela attempted to excuse herself with a short bow before leaving. Garion followed suit behind her.
"...I personally haven't found that to be the case." She finally decided to entertain the sephirot, it wouldn't do to antagonize the only one who will remember the event.
"One cannot expect a different result from the same action. To do so would be the height of insanity." She attempted to escape the conversation by stopping to observe an information panel, on the off chance that the of them somehow ended up on the same path.
No such luck.
"No, people only react to outside forces, to fully explore a mind is to test every plausible situation. An impossible goal, even more so when people's contexts and viewpoints are in constant flux." Garion pointed at a clerk passing by, the employee froze like a deer caught in a floodlight.
"Even someone as unremarkable as them holds infinite possibilities. Their minds are not complex by any means, but the nuances held in the million shades of grey leave much to be explored." The employee quickly scurried away.
Angela recognized the clerk, as she does with every single person within the facility. They were normally quite restrained in their interactions with others, shy by the standards of the corporation.
The clerk was left as the last survivor, three newly minted agents all shot down by a single bullet of Der Freischutz. They laughed hysterically at the sight.
The clerk screamed in despair as half their department was killed by a single bullet of Der Freischutz, weeping as they held onto an unrecognizable corpse of their fellow.
"I suppose." Angela replied.
"I find it quite fun to unveil what lies below the layers upon layers of bearriers people build around their souls, there truly is no end to the possibilities." As usual, Garion came and went as she pleased, leaving after having spoken her piece.
Once again Angela found herself struggling with an extremely simple action. She simply had to enter the meeting room, speak with the upper sephirot for a few hours, ask them her question, then leave.
It'd be quick, simple and efficient, no need for pointless thought. No such luck.
She instead found herself standing in front of the entrance, having wasted half an hour in her own slowed down mind.
"H-Hello?" Behind her approached Hod, somehow managing to look meek even with her near expressionless body.
'Are you new here? I'm Hod, I'm responsible for the training department.'
"Ah, you must be Miss Angela, the one Malkuth mentioned. I'm Hod. I'm responsible for the training department, I hope we can get along." She respectfully bowed her body in greeting, overly restrained as per usual. Angela returned the gesture.
"...So do I." The two of them entered to the sight of the three other sephirot sitting around at a table. The meeting proceeded normally at first, mostly discussions on cross department cooperation and the planning of combined drills. Angela mostly ignored them, she knew of every plan they'd make already.
Eventually, the time came when official matters were wrapped up, and she decided to ask her question.
Malkuth didn't know anything, Yesod and Hod glanced at one another, also clearly unknowledgeable on the matter. Netzach…
"Have you tried Enkephalin?" He said, leaning back into his chair in a lazy manner as per usual.
"...No? Enkephalin would have no effect on a being without a brain." Angela said.
Yesod also scoffed. "Such a nonsensical suggestion, keep those drugs to yourself."
Hod squirmed at the ongoing conversation. Netzach didn't seem particularly deterred. "Sure but…have you tried it?"
…She had not. "I mean, if you felt the need to try adjusting Qliphoth derrence levels, then Enkephalin wouldn't be much of a stretch either, right?"
"There is no need to attempt something so pointless." Yesod looked at her, seemingly having taken her as a bastion of rationality like himself.
He'd normally be correct, but Angela was desperate, and Netzach had a point.
The five of them stared at a cactus drenched in Enkephalin, the plant beginning to quickly rot under the green substance. Yesod placed a hand next to his eye as though he was pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Whelp, I tried." Netzach shrugged before returning to his seat. Hod placed a hand on Angela's shoulder in comfort.
"D-Don't be too distraught, Angela. I'm sure we can find another one in the facility somewhere." She wasn't saddened by the death of the cactus of course, it'd be back just a reset later, though Hod appeared to have taken her expressionless face as her being upset.
"Of course."
Yesod glanced between the two of them before sighing.
"It wouldn't do to have the manager's assistant so distracted by something so trivial. We'll solve this issue more quickly together."
Malkuth quickly raised her hand. "I can check if any of the employees have a cactus we can use!"
Hod hesitantly raised hers as well. "I'll see if any of the new recruits know anything about flora."
Yesod nodded before pulling Netzach up from his seat. "And you'll be helping me look through all the information logs we have."
The green robot groaned, though he didn't deny the order.
"We'll meet again in three days, and have it solved within a week. That's our deadline." Yesod said confidently.
Angela couldn't stop the slight upward tug of her lips, even as she dreaded what was to come.
The meeting planned in three days never came, a catastrophic breach of The Mountain of Smiling bodies had forced an early activation of TT2 protocols.
It was the expected outcome, it's happened many times already, especially during the earlier cycles. She'd come to know the sephirot, they'd make promises and future plans just for them to forget it all later.
She knew, yet it still hurt to see Malkuth make note of how rarely they interact once again, to hear Yesod make note of her perfect uniform, to listen to the awkward introduction of Hod, to see Netzach try and fail to ignore her appearance.
It hurt, knowing they'd all be forgotten, to be repeated endlessly over thousands of years.
'It's quite interesting isn't it? How many different interactions can arise from what is supposedly the same individual.'
Even still, the last cycle was uniquely new in spite of its repetitive moments.
She had to wonder, what else these beings could shAngela's been less and less present in the office lately. She'd have a cup of tea, run a few half hearted experiments on the cactus, then descend into the facility not to be seen again until the start of the next day. Wherein she was once a constant presence in the office like himself, her schedule was now closer to Garion's, only occasionally dropping by.
Ayin didn't mind of course, not only was she still present for the entirety of the work period, she also spent most of her time in the laboratory until the upper layer core suppressions were completed.
In fact, he'd go so far as to say he was glad. The more chances Angela got to pursue her interests the better, until the time comes when she can finally fly freely across the skies as she heralded the new world that was to come.
Though there was one problem.
"Did you put the idea into her head?" It was a rhetorical question of course. If he wasn't the cause of a change, then there was only ever one suspect in the first place.
"What could you possibly mean?" Garion had recently forced her tastes upon him and Angela, bringing her own set with all its bitter glory every time she visited. She had also become noticeably less respectful towards him ever since she saw angela shovel a dozen spoons of sugar into a cup.
"Angela's been wandering around dissecting the words of the sephirot, asking different questions with each loop and making observations. Suspiciously similar to a certain guest in our office."
Garion hummed as she took a sip, it almost sounded playful. "Then you already have your answer, don't you? Our dear prophet."
"I still wish to hear it from you." He pushed.
"You act as though I manipulated her into false beliefs. I merely planted an idea, that minds are an endless well of exploration." Garion had a small smile as she tilted her head at him.
"Why, do you take issue with its newfound interest?"
Ayin shook his head in denial. "Not at all, I'm in support of this change. Rather, the issues lie in some of the…conclusions that Angela tends to reach about the sephirot."
Wrong, callous, ridiculous, nonsensical; just about any word could fit due to the sheer number of observations Angela's made. It was to be expected, as she has little to no experiences to base her conclusions off of.
The only people she knew well would be him and Benjamin, not exactly a great sample size. Especially so when the two of them were anything but 'normal', even if the sephirot hardly fit the bill either.
"I have a favor to ask." He said, Garion raised an eyebrow in questioning.
"I want you to go with her, she needs a guide on such matters."
She had a small smile on her face. "Now why would you ask me of all people? To entrust your most precious creation's development."
Ayin frowned in annoyance. "You already know the reason."
"I still wish to hear it."
He sighed, Garion somehow managed to remain just as difficult to deal with even when she wasn't actively seeking to tear him apart with words.
"She needs someone to teach her, to help her see clearly, and no one in this facility sees others as clearly as you do." Garion placed a hand on her cheek, her eyes darting to the side…she was feigning embarrassment.
"My, such genuine praise, you're making me blush." She clearly wasn't, and her exaggerated tone of voice made that clear, even if it was muted by the standards of any other person.
"Still…there is something else. Isn't there?" A familiar smirk formed, finding amusement in digging through his mindscape.
"...It's not like I have any other options aside from you, Garion."
"Is that so?"
Ayin pushed aside the thoughts arising from within. "...Yes."
The smirk widened. "Tell me, what do you intend your fate to be after the seed is planted?"
He knew his answer, even if he's become less sure over time. "I'll fade away without a trace, letting my sins be buried along with this facility."
Garion took a long sip from her cup, as though she was letting the taste of his answer settle. "Then what of your precious assistant?"
He found himself frowning at the topic he's been avoiding for a long time.
"She'll be free to live."
It was a hollow answer, lacking true meaning or intent.
"Would she be willing to accept such an outcome I wonder. Rejected by a world that despises her for the way she was born, left without an ally in the cruelty of the city. Surely you don't believe the world will change overnight to accommodate her existence."
…Truly, Garion saw others more clearly than any other, even if she struggled to look inside herself.
"Would you be willing to accept such an outcome I wonder." She continued.
Would he? He couldn't say, for he too struggled to see inward, as all people do. How ironic, for him to be capable of seeing his future self, yet not the current one.
Ayin sighed. "Have you had your entertainment?"
Garion chuckled. "There could ever be an end to desire."
"Are you accepting my offer?" He asked, some of his frustration bleeding into his voice.
"Perhaps I will, that'll depend on the one in question."
"...I suppose that's good enough."
"There better be a good reason as to why we've been called here, we as the sephirot of Central Command don't have time to waste on frivolous matters." The small robot was clearly annoyed, doubtly so since their core suppression was completed mere days ago.
"Don't be so harsh, Tiphereth. Interesting occasions like this are so rare, you should try to enjoy it more." Said her twin.
"I apologize for my sudden interruption, though please rest assured knowing I've already handled your duties for the day." Employees glanced at them with curiosity clearly evident, though not one dared to approach.
Tiphereth A was hard enough to approach as is, and the fourth person sitting at the table kept all of them out of earshot. Most of the employees had already left the breakroom, the only ones left being veteran agents.
"Isn't that great Tiphereth? It's been a long time since we've gotten a break."
"...I suppose so." She made no mention of the fact that he's only been around for a few days, or how a mountain of his broken bodies were disposed of only a few days ago.
"Then, I will begin the psychological assessment immediately."
"Is this nothing more than a sick joke to you?! Come on Tiphereth, we're leaving!" Tiphereth A rushed out of the room, dragging Tiphereth B along with her.
"Thank you for the tea, Miss Garion. Lisa, what did they mean by deleted memories—" The automatic door of the cafeteria loudly slammed a close behind the two.
Angela realised that she had extended her arms as if reaching out to them, an apology at the tip of her tongue left unsaid.
"Ah, such an unfortunate outcome, I was interested in further exploring the boy's thoughts. That one has a fascinating mind, wouldn't you agree?" Garion didn't seem bothered by the conversation in the slightest, casually sipping as though nothing had happened.
"...Why did you follow me here?"
"Who is to say? Perhaps your dear manager asked me to come along, perhaps it was simply a coincidence that we both decided to speak with the twins today, perhaps it was both." There was always amusement to be had when speaking with it. If only Carmen was capable of conversing, perhaps her department wouldn't be so dreary if such was the case.
"You were detrimental to my efforts." Its voice was accusatory, noticeable even though it lacked a tone.
"Was I? The girl would've left in anger either way, for the issue lied not in my words, but rather in the systematic matter in which the conversation was conducted." Garion raised her cup to be level with her eyes.
"An exploration of the mind is much like brewing tea. The leaves must be given proper time and space to steep and unfurl, lest the extraction of flavors remain incomplete."
"...Meaning?" Angela prodded her on. Garion made sure to take a long sip before continuing.
"A systematic interview leaves little time for thought, and the impersonal manner makes them defensive and unwilling to open their hearts. Such conversations give incomplete information, leading to conclusions that do not reflect on reality."
"..." Angela mulled over her words, considering the truthfulness behind them.
"Tell me, what are your thoughts on the girl after that talk?" Garion questioned.
"Tiphereth A appeared to be unwilling to speak of her thoughts on the state of Tiphereth B. Her refusal to state whether Tiphereth B is still the same being after being replaced so many times suggests she's in denial of his condition, or at the very least undecided on her views." She answered truthfully.
"Or perhaps she felt the topic wasn't given the respect it deserves, leading to her refusal to share." Garion said back.
Angela placed a hand under her chin in thought, that certainly could be the case. If she had approached with a different topic that eventually led up to the matter, or if she had offered condolences before anything else, then the assessment could've lasted longer and given her more feedback.
Garion now watched silently as the gears in its head near visibly began to turn. She supposed it was quick to learn if nothing else.
"Lady Garion, why does that claw never move from that alley?" Asked the little girl she had recently taken under wing. She didn't understand why her passing curiosity had lasted so long, with her going so far as to furnish a separate room for the girl.
"Who is to say? Perhaps you should try asking him yourself." Zena nervously looked between her and the claw before finally deciding to approach him, not once letting go of Garion's hand.
"H-Hello." The claw nodded in greeting.
"What's your name? I'm Zena."
"...Baral." The girl flinched upon hearing his gruff voice, though she relaxed after a moment.
"Why are you always standing here Mister Baral?" Zena questioned him, far more confident now that it was evident he wouldn't hurt her.
"Lady Garion's order, I'm to guard this pebble until told otherwise." She tilted her head in curiosity.
"But…why?" She continued to question.
"I am to follow Arbiter Garion's orders."
"...Why?"
"It is as the head mandates."
Zena was clearly very confused. "...Why?"
Baral huffed before going silent, no longer willing to answer her inquiries.
"Zena, you wished to see the new store across the street, yes? You should go ahead, I need to speak to Baral." The girl looked between the two of them in confusion before nodding. Curious as she was, Zena had long learned to not question Garion's words.
Was it blind faith? Fear? Or perhaps it was trust. Either way, she did as she was told.
"You were not ordered to answer her questions." Garion said as she smirked in amusement at the Claw.
"I was not ordered to be silent." He responded.
"Yet you weren't ordered to speak either, so it must've been a conscious choice, yes? I wonder how such a decision arises from a being supposedly lacking a will beyond duty."
"..." Baral was silent, as he always was when made to face the reality of his existence. How truly lucky of her, to be assigned such an amusing subordinate〜.
Zena stood across the street, staring through the windows of a toy store, one of the few in district one. She didn't seem terribly interested, unlike most children her age.
"Is the pebble important to you, Lady Garion?"
She shook her head in denial.
"Nay, it's merely a rock…What do you think of the Claw? Why do you think he follows my orders without question, standing guard over something as pointless as pebble?" Garion asked her.
The girl gained a thoughtful look, the gears in her head near visibly beginning to turn.
"Perhaps he simply doesn't know better? It wouldn't be impossible for a Claw to not understand the difference between what is and isn't important." She suggested.
"What if he does? For what reason would he remain dutiful if such was the case?" Garion continued to push for her thoughts.
"Hmm…Maybe he doesn't care about himself or his time?"
"Perhaps. Or maybe he's denying the idea of choice to absolve himself of his actions; or maybe he truly is that blindly faithful, entrusting himself to those above without question. Who is to say? The only answer that matters is what you believe to be the truth." She said cryptically.
"You're saying I should find out for myself?" Zena asked her. The arbiter placed a hand on the girl's head.
"Indeed I am."
Such nostalgia, in spite of the vastly differing individuals involved.
Zena always was bright beyond her years, just like the boy of the twins. Always questioning the world around herself, never truly willing to accept things as they were.
Garion had to wonder, did she begin to believe in change back then? When a little girl began to question reality as much as Garion herself did. Did she believe in the word 'why'?.
Why must a person act a certain way?
Why must an event end in a certain manner?
Why must the city be the way it is?
All those questions she asked herself, and those around her.
All those questions Zena asked herself, and those around her.
What a tragedy it is then—that just like the boy of the twins—she too was crushed before she could blossom.
Notes: