"Painting the red light district redder, my friend's sister's got her foot up our asses!"
When I came home from school and went into my bedroom, the first thing I saw was a pair of thighs.
There was a familiar girl lying stomach-first on my bed, kicking her feet to the beat. She'd helped herself to the new volume of a boys' manga from my bookshelf, and it looked like she was having a whale of a time reading it.
This girl was Kohinata Iroha. She was a first-year at my high school (I was a second-year).
Her hair was a bright golden color, and the way it fluffed up, as well as the headphones around her neck, made her look like an emperor penguin. Her short-sleeved uniform and short skirt looked like they kept her cool in the humid heat of early summer. Without her socks, the line of her long, slender, pale legs was unobstructed from view. She was the epitome of a high-school girl, without the piercings or embellishments that would make her stand out as belonging to a particular subculture.
"Fill your ass to burstin', then you're on the floor! But that underwear of yours is to die for!"
She was the kind of girl who could charm anyone just by smiling at 'em. And that blessed girl who preyed innocently on those tragic boys was now taking over my bed like she owned the place. If she were just sitting there quietly, maybe I wouldn't mind so much.
"Don't care if you're a virgin, just know that this sister—"
"Turn that crappy rap 'music' down right now! I can practically see the bass!"
I pulled the stereo cord from the socket before she had a chance to do it herself. The room fell into total silence, and the girl on the bed suddenly
turned around, as though she only just noticed I was there.
"Oh, hi, Senpai. You coulda knocked, y'know."
"Knock to go into my own room? Anyway, you can't put your music on so
loud! Are those headphones just for show or something?"
Iroha grinned at me.
"You really wanna know what they're for? You gotta get on my route first
to find that out! Meaning you gotta pick me out of all the other girls out there. I guess I could tell you if you're that into me, though! Truth is, these headphones..."
"I don't give a crap."
"Oooh, you're heartless!" Iroha stuck her tongue out at me.
She's such a pest!
She was always like this. Like she was constantly high. Adrenaline (or
maybe endorphins) bombarded me the moment I thought about trying to kick this pest out of here. She flapped her gums before I could say a word.
"C'mon, Senpai! You should know I'll probably be in here when you get home, so at least knock! What if I was changin', huh?! Or is that what you want? Help! Someone call the cops! I've cornered a perv!"
"Sure, call the cops. I'd love to tell 'em all about how you broke into my room."
"So we're takin' it to court now, huh?" Iroha narrowed her eyes and smiled smugly as I pulled my smartphone out of my pants pocket.
She always got like this when she sniffed any hint of challenge. The desire to defeat me and assert dominance in any way she could was an inherent part of this creature's nature.
"I didn't 'break into' here, anyhow!"
Iroha rolled over onto her back, her assets giving a small bounce as she did so. The top three buttons of her worn blouse were undone, giving me a glimpse of the round breasts which threatened to spill out of it.
They were huge.
artimo ©
I had to look away as she taunted me with her feminine body. Iroha let out a whistle and narrowed her eyes like a cat about to pounce. She then started to fiddle with the silver key that sat between her ample breasts and hung from her neck by a leather cord.
It was a duplicate key to this place.
"See? Having the key means I didn't break in, and you can't deny it!" "It doesn't mean you can just come and go as you please! Where the hell
did you get that, anyway?!"
"Come oooon! You know you like it! I know you're just dying to dive in
here and sniff my scent right off the sheets as soon as I'm gone!"
"No way. I'm not gonna risk any of your scent hanging around my room!" I grabbed a bottle of air freshener and sprayed it at her. She squealed. "H-Hey! At least warn me before you spray that junk on me!"
"There's plenty left in the bottle! So if you don't wanna end up
smelling..." I squinted at the bottle, "'cotton fresh,' then get the hell out." "Th-That's no fair!"
Iroha rolled off the bed as I continued to spray her. She glared at me,
giving me the dirtiest look she could muster.
"This how you're gonna treat your little sister?!"
"No. Because you're not my little sister."
"I'm your best friend's sister! Which practically makes me your sister as
well!"
"No, thanks. I'd rather we stay strangers."
"What if the two of you get married?! Then I'd be your sister for real!"
Iroha paused thoughtfully. "Actually, that'd be a pretty good ship no matter who was the top..."
"H-Hold it! I'm a living, breathing human, and I have feelings, okay?! Keep that kind of thing to fictional characters!"
She crossed the line with that one, and so I felt it was only right to scold her for it. She really needed to find some sort of filter for her brain.
Kohinata Iroha wasn't just any old schoolmate of mine. As she said herself, she was my friend's younger sister. In junior high school, I ended up living in the apartment next to Kohinata Ozuma. We quickly became friends, but I soon learned that Iroha came as part of that package.
The key she had now was actually the key I gave to Ozuma. While he lived with his mom and sister, I lived alone. Which meant I was doomed to
die if I had a sudden heart attack or something. So just in case something happened, I entrusted a spare key to my esteemed best friend.
"This is a grave abuse of trust..." I grumbled.
"Ahahaha! This is hilarious! C'mon, get madder! You're so cute when you're mad, Aki-senpai."
"Do I look like I'm laughing?!"
Iroha was rubbing the key up and down between her breasts. That key. The symbol of my friendship. And now she was doing something so indecent with it.
I began to grind my teeth. I could practically feel the veins popping out of my head at the absolute audacity of this brat.
Just then, I felt a vibration against my thigh. I pulled out my smartphone and saw a familiar name on the screen.
"This is important. Get out," I warned Iroha.
"Don't worry! I'll be quiet!" She gave a hearty salute.
"You better."
I kept a careful eye on Iroha and answered the phone.
"Hello. This is Ooboshi."
"Heya! Been a while, Akiteru-kun!"
"'Sup. Uh, I mean, hello, Tsukinomori-san."
"C'mon now, no need to be so formal! Kinda hurts, you know..."
He had the sort of voice perfect for picking up women in a seedy bar, but
he spoke like an innocent child. The name of this mismatched man was Tsukinomori Makoto. He was my uncle, but also a CEO. I wanted to stay in his good graces, if only for the opportunities he might be able to get me. He sometimes called in to see how I was doing in place of my parents, who were working overseas. Lately, though, we'd been discussing something else.
"Are you calling me about what I think you are?" I asked.
"I am," he replied. "I thought about it..."
"You did?!"
"You basically want to join my company, fresh outta high school, zero
experience, and without taking the company exam... Did you really think that would fly?"
"W-Well... Maybe not. So it's a no?"
"I didn't say that! I'll give you a shot, with a couple of conditions. You're my cute little nephew, after all! You know I'd give you the shirt off my back.
The head of HR is a cold-blooded career woman, too. Without my shirt, maybe she'd crack and I'd have a chance with her, huh?!"
"Uh... it's not really acceptable to walk around shirtless anymore, y'know."
My uncle guffawed.
"I'm serious."
Though I was grateful for his offer, at least. It'd just be a pain if he got
fired before I had a chance with the company.
Tsukinomori Makoto. A man with a suave voice and a smart mustache
(assuming the selfie he took with my phone was still accurate). He was also president and CEO of a large-scale entertainment enterprise: Honeyplace Works. It wasn't just successful in Japan, but held its own worldwide against other global companies.
And here he was, telling me about his plans for gross sexual harassment. Anyway.
"To think you're already using your connections like this, at your age.
You've sure come a long way."
"I just figured it was the best way to achieve my goals. Not to mention the
fastest."
"Just remember, if you fall behind, I'm kicking you out!"
"That's fine, but I won't make you regret your decision!"
"I like your attitude!" I could practically hear my uncle's grin through the
phone. "Remember that I mentioned some conditions, though."
I held my breath. I knew this was coming. After all, there was no such
thing as a free lunch in this society. While there were both efficient and inefficient methods to get what you wanted, there was no getting away from having to pay a suitable price.
This was a world-famous enterprise I was dealing with. I couldn't imagine how expensive the toll must be.
"Now, for the first condition... You don't have a girlfriend, right, Akiteru- kun?"
A pause.
"Huh?!" was all I managed in the end.
"Why did you hesitate? Don't tell me... I bet you get more action than a
visual novel protagonist!"
"N-No, I don't! I don't even talk to girls!"
It was at that moment that I saw a lightbulb go off in Iroha's head in the mirror. This wasn't good. I glared at her, telepathically sending her a message to get lost immediately. It only seemed to encourage her, though. Her lips curled and she began to giggle.
"Senpai!"
"L-Let go of me!"
"Is someone with you?" came my uncle's voice through the phone. "I think
I'm sensing the sickening scent of a young couple and their icky-wicky love!" "I... I got a cat!"
"A cat! Great! What kind?"
"Er... Um..."
Dammit. I didn't know anything about cats. Judging from my uncle's question though, he did. It didn't look like I could bluff my way out of this one, and if I kept quiet, he'd know something was up. Should I tell him about Iroha?
No. Anything but that!
If anyone looked in and saw Iroha speaking so sweetly while pressing up against my back, they'd probably think she was my girlfriend. Sometimes in life, the most likely explanation isn't the correct one, but even then I didn't think my uncle would believe me if I insisted we weren't an item.
"Hey, Senpai," Iroha whispered into my ear. "If this guy finds out you're with a girl, you're gonna be in trouble, right?"
"Yes!" I breathed back. "So shut the hell up!"
Her lip curled like the mischievous cat I was pretending she was. She was clearly enjoying this.
"This super-naughty feeling... reminds me of NTR." She giggled. "You're too young to know what that is."
"But I do! It was in your search history."
"You mean you've been through my phone?!"
"Akiteru-kun?"
My rage was cut short by my uncle's voice. I screamed.
"The cat is scratching up my phone!" I wailed. "Quit it! C'mon!" "S-Sounds like you got a pretty violent kitty. You gotta discipline them,
you know!"
"Trust me, I would love to discipline this... cat-bitch!" What was a female cat called anyway?
Iroha's soft breasts and arms pushed up against me. Her sweet scent tickled my nose. Annoyingly, she was just as calm as ever; I couldn't say the same about me.
"Ooh?" she purred. "Who exactly do you think is going to be disciplining who? Oh, you're so cute when you get all flustered from my teasing. It gets me so excited, like I'm touching you on a jam-packed train."
"Well I'm not excited, so stop touching me and get off! My future depends on this—"
"Excited? Touching?" Tsukinomori-san said. "Don't tell me you're—"
"I'm not! I said, uh... excited munchkin! Munchkin is... It's a munchkin cat!"
Thank God I remembered that a munchkin was a kind of cat, and not just one of those tiny people from The Wizard of Oz.
"Oh, a munchkin! Those are very curious and playful! Man, I could just stare at them for days."
"This one's a pain in the butt."
"Hahaha! I'm sure it's not; it just ended up with a tsundere as its owner! Make sure you look after it, okay?"
"I, uhh... I'll take good care of it." I let out an awkward laugh.
"Oh, I've just been called to a meeting! But I'm glad to hear you don't have a girlfriend."
I did it! He totally bought my cat story! Not that Iroha is my girlfriend.
"Although I'm not convinced just yet. That was only the first condition, after all. I'll tell you the others when I next get a chance, so bear with me for a bit."
"Okay. Thanks for calling, by the way. I know you're busy."
"Don't mention it! Anything for my dear nephew and daughter! This is nothing."
"Th... Wait, who?!"
"Adios!"
There was a beep.
"He hung up..."
That last thing he said to me was definitely out of place.
Well, whatever. At this rate, I'd be making my debut at Honeyplace Works
soon!
No, wait. It's too early to be getting ahead of myself.
The moment Iroha realized the phone call was over, she flopped down on the bed and was at my manga again. It didn't surprise me in the least. Her flirtatious attitude just now had nothing to do with any interest in me. She just wanted to mess with me, but since she was my friend's sister, she probably felt she could get away with it. According to Ozuma, he hadn't seen her like this with anyone else...
With the key to my place, she came and went as she pleased. My friend's sister, Kohinata Iroha, who for some reason had it in for only me. She was also the greatest threat to me getting a place at my uncle's company. I couldn't let her walk all over me anymore. It was time to set some boundaries.
"Senpai!" Iroha whined. "I'm thirsty!"
"There's tomato juice on the second shelf in the fridge. It's rich and has no calories."
"Yes! You're kind as always, Senpai! I love you so much!"
Iroha hopped off the bed and out of the room. I sighed as I watched her leave. I supposed setting boundaries could always wait until tomorrow...
I really could be too careless sometimes. I hadn't noticed the smirk on Iroha's lips as she left me behind in the bedroom.
***
"...And that's what happened."
"You really do like Iroha, right? I mean, you had juice ready for her."
"I have it because I like it! Just 'cause it happens to be her favorite too..." "Nah, you know what it is? It's 'cause you're like the main character." "The heck does that mean?"
"If I told you, things wouldn't nearly be as fun."
"Ugh. Whatever. Just please can you tell her not to barge into my place
anymore? You're her brother!" "Sure... I'll tell her."
Image of convo here*