"Ugh… So cold, huh?"
Kai rubbed his eyes and realized he was completely naked, surrounded by pitch-black darkness.
As far as he could remember, he seemed to have been sucked into that pitch-black monster's chest.
"Feels so… empty?"
He stood up, scratched his butt, and carefully scanned the surroundings.
"…Oh?"
In the distance, he spotted someone lying on what could only be described as an ridiculously wide bed. Right behind the bed was a breathtaking view of a starry sky.
So he started walking toward it, even though he had no idea whether this was dangerous or not.
Whatever. Meet first, ask questions later. Maybe the person is actually nice?
After walking for a while, he finally reached the spot—and damn, that bed really was absurdly huge.
Right in the center lay a girl wearing pajamas, drooling in her sleep, her long, glowing purple hair spread all over the bed.
She would've looked perfectly normal… if not for the massive tentacles wriggling around her.
"What the hell? Relative of that monster or something?"
He observed for a moment, then decided to keep his distance.
A girl appearing in a weird place like this definitely wasn't normal.
Either she's crazy, or she's crazier.
Worst case? Total nympho. No way in hell was he talking to a nympho!
…Well, as long as she doesn't touch him, he'd probably be fine if they both kept their distance…
But he was absolutely not going to befriend a nympho! (Dude, I know, you don't have to repeat it.)
"Alright, stay far away from her. Now, let's check that thing over there…"
Something slick and slippery slid right between his legs.
"…"
He looked back. The tentacles were starting to move in a very… indecent way?
No—actually, they were being aggressive. Especially the one that had just slipped through his crotch!
It was coiling around both of his balls and getting ready to squeeze!
"KYAAAAA!!!" Kai screamed like a girl and desperately tried to pry the tentacle off.
That ultra-manly shriek made the girl's ears twitch repeatedly.
Instantly, the tentacle released his balls… only to wrap around his entire body and yank him toward her.
"…Uahh, what's falling on me now…?"
She rubbed her eyes, then looked at the thing in front of her: a dick that was long, thick, and impressively sturdy.
"…Whoa, this thing's even bigger than my ex-husband's. Am I still dreaming?"
"LET GO!!!"
She blinked a few times, sensed something was off, and finally looked up at Kai.
They stared at each other—one desperately struggling to escape, the other frozen in utter confusion.
"Huh? A human? Here?"
"Yo, are you done being surprised yet?? Let me go!!"
"Ah—yeah, hold on!"
The tentacles retracted, and Kai fell flat on his ass. While rubbing his sore butt, he saw the girl walking around him, inspecting every inch.
What the hell now? She really is crazy, isn't she?
"It's really a human… impossible!"
Her eyes suddenly sparkled as she looked at Kai—like she had just found hope or something.
"Um, lady? Who are you?"
"Me? You don't know?"
"I'm asking because I don't know."
"Yeah, fair enough. After all, you humans don't worship me anymore, do you?"
Worship? Is she some kind of goddess?
"Alright… Ahem! My name is Pandora! The unofficial daughter of Hephaestus and the first woman mortal! According to the books, anyway… In short, I'm the one who brought disaster upon humanity!"
"Oh."
"Clap or something?!"
"Okay okay, clap clap clap."
"Not with words!!"
How should he put it… He had heard of her back in his old world. She was quite famous—not for her looks, but for Pandora's box.
But who would've thought that in this world… she'd be… a loli?
…Okay, not exactly loli. She only came up to his shoulder, she just short.
"What's with that look you're giving me?"
"Oh wow~ The beautiful, adorable, and stunning Pandora~"
"Drop 'beautiful' and 'stunning'. 'Adorable' is enough!" She lifted her chin and flashed a classic smug smile.
She was way easier to talk to than he expected.
"So… why are you here?" She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him.
"I got sucked into that monster's chest along with all my gear."
"Which chest?"
"…You don't know?"
"All the chests were created by my father and scattered across the world. And every single one is connected to this place."
Then she suddenly grabbed his face and pulled him close.
"But they're not supposed to suck in living beings… and even if someone crawled inside, they shouldn't be able to reach here… Hmm?"
She stared at him even harder, eyes widening.
"W-What?"
"Hold on—let me just cure your delusions real quick to be safe."
"Huh?—AGHHHH!!!!"
Kai clutched his head, collapsed, and shook violently.
"Got it, got it… You became a vessel for a residing god? Honestly surprised you still have your own ego intact."
"Ugh… Did you just read my memories?"
"Yep. Even the ones from before you came to this world."
"Oh."
"Why aren't you shocked? Most isekai protagonists freak out when someone discovers their secret."
"I don't really care about that stuff."
"You're weird."
She sat on the bed and looked at Kai.
"Now I understand why you could come here."
"Explain."
"This is a god's private domain. Even though I'm not 100% a god, I'm still a creation of the gods, so I possess divinity. And wherever there's divinity, there's a private space for that god."
"And since you're a vessel for a god, you also have divinity. That's why you can enter a god's domain."
"Wait—so what about the gear that got pulled in?"
"Pandora's chests were designed to absorb gear and grant the wish of whoever is closest to it. Gear is allowed to come and go normally. Here, I still have yours."
She reached into her sleeve, pulled out Kai's gear, and handed it to him.
"…That easy?"
"What did you expect? That I'd eat it? I'm not greedy."
"Oh, nice." Kai took his gear.
And immediately his hand started bleeding the moment he touched it.
"…?" He looked up at her.
"Ah… right. I am humanity's calamity. Anything I touch gets cursed."
Are you kidding me???
"Then how the hell am I supposed to use it??"
"Beats me. I'm not even a full god—I'm pretty low-ranked among them."
"I'm not asking you to brag about your status! I need my gear back so I can go out and kill that damn monster! What if it gets out and slaughters everyone I know?"
"Eh, no need to worry about that." She scratched her head and yawned.
"No need?"
"Yeah… it's already dead."
"Nice."
"And the girl who hired you to enter the dungeon betrayed everyone."
"Nani?"
"It's kind of complicated… But hey, don't worry. Time doesn't exist here, so you can stay as long as you want—even forever!"
"Are you trying to seduce me into staying?"
"Seduce? Nah. I just sleep and grant wishes here. It's insanely boring."
Kai went quiet for a moment, then sighed.
"You said time doesn't exist here, right?"
"Yep."
"Then tell me what's happening outside."
So Pandora recounted everything she had seen.
"Wait—you gave power to that monster?"
"It brought your gear and you in here. I had to grant its wish, didn't I?"
"…So you can grant anything you want?"
"No, it's more like a scam. Back then it wanted power, so I lent it a portion of mine. But it was only borrowed strength. The moment it died, the power returned to me instantly."
"And since there's no time here, the moment I lent it out, it came right back. So no big deal."
"Hmmm." Kai stared at her, thinking.
Then he stood up and started stretching his muscles.
"What? You wanna bang?"
"Shut up, pervert. You said there's no time here, right? Then I can train here as long as I want."
"Oh… I thought you were gonna bang me and then stay here forever. I already came up with a ton of plans and you just ruined them all."
"Do you have any respect for your own body? What if someone else had come here instead of me? You'd just go all the way with them?"
"Nah~ I like you more."
"Like what about me?"
"Diligent, persistent, hardworking—just like my ex-husband."
Kai froze, then gave her the most disgusted look imaginable.
"Don't give me that 'you remind me of someone' crap. I'm me. He's him. If you only like me because I'm similar to him, then go jerk off at his grave. Don't use me as a substitute just because I'm LIKE him."
She blinked in shock. She clearly hadn't expected such a sharp, decisive response.
"…Sorry."
"No need. Can you create stuff like a gym here?"
"Sure?"
"Thanks in advance."
And so began day one(?) of training… together with Pandora.