An adult and five kids managed to polish off most of half a wild boar.
Akio did most of the heavy lifting, naturally, but the kids weren't exactly holding back either. Everyone was stuffed—especially Kurotsuchi, who was now sprawled flat on her back, hands on her round belly, staring at the sky with a blissed-out expression, too full to even talk.
Akio glanced at her with a smile. He genuinely liked her personality—straightforward, upbeat, and refreshingly honest. Not like Deidara, who kept shooting him and Kimimaro resentful looks while eating the meat Akio had cooked.
"What are you staring at?" Akio said lazily. "If you're still hungry, keep eating. You've got more mouths than anyone here—do I need to feed you myself? If you don't want it, I'll give it to the two from your village. They've been eyeing it the whole time."
Deidara shot him a look but didn't respond. Instead, his eyes flicked around the forest, calculating—clearly considering whether he could make a clean getaway while everyone was too full to move.
Kurotsuchi suddenly let out a long breath.
"Whew… I survived. Mister, your cooking's amazing. I almost ate myself into a coma. Uncle Mahi, Uncle Hiko, you should eat too—don't let it go to waste. And keep an eye on Deidara. He's still thinking about running."
"Tch." Deidara clicked his tongue.
The two Iwa ninja hesitated, then nodded and stepped forward—only for their unconscious teammate to suddenly spring upright, kunai in hand, eyes darting around in full combat alert. Akio's kick had clearly rebooted him a little too hard.
"Uncle Oishi, you're awake!" Kurotsuchi said cheerfully. "Come eat some pork."
Oishi: "...?"
The ones eating now were the three Iwa ninja. Akio gathered the five kids nearby, clearly intending to let them get acquainted.
"No need to be shy," Akio said casually. "We'll be staying in Iwagakure for a while. You're all about the same age and skill level. Sparring now and then will do wonders for your growth."
"I'm Kurotsuchi. Eight years old," she said immediately, no hesitation.
"Karin. Seven."
"Haku. Nine."
"Kimimaro. Nine."
There was a pause.
"Tch. Deidara. Ten. Hm."
Akio chuckled. "You don't need to add commentary to your name."
Both Kurotsuchi and Deidara immediately turned their attention to him.
"I don't need to introduce myself," Akio said awkwardly. "I'm not exactly in your age group."
"Mister, don't be shy," Kurotsuchi shot back with a grin.
"Red-haired mister. Eighteen."
"Who introduces themselves like that?!" Kurotsuchi yelled. "There's no way you're eighteen—thirty-eight maybe!"
Akio barely held in his laughter. "Fine. Name's Shanks. Thirty-eight."
Kimimaro and Haku didn't react much—one stoic, one gently smiling. Karin, however, looked seconds away from rolling her eyes out of her skull.
Kurotsuchi eyed Akio suspiciously. "You're not seriously eighteen, right? I mean, you look—"
Akio sighed. Another misunderstanding.
"Do me a favor," he said. "Just don't ask about my age. Pretend I'm over a hundred."
Surprisingly, that worked. Kurotsuchi dropped the topic and immediately turned to lecturing Deidara instead.
Listening in, Akio gradually pieced together the story behind Deidara's escape.
As Deidara's kekkei genkai grew stronger, so did his obsession with explosions as "art." He'd been setting off small clay creatures all over Iwagakure—spiders, centipedes, anything that went boom—causing constant trouble for civilians. It had gotten bad enough that Ōnoki finally ordered him to move out of the village and live on his own nearby.
It wasn't exile—just distance.
But for Deidara, it had felt like rejection.
That resentment pushed him to try leaving entirely, chasing his "art" on his own terms. This was already his third escape attempt—and the closest he'd come to succeeding, now that he could finally create a clay bird capable of long-distance flight.
Akio scratched his head. No wonder the kid looked so bitter. Now that he'd been stopped again, future attempts would be even harder.
"Some people don't realize how good they have it," Akio muttered. "Being personally trained by a Kage—most shinobi would kill for that."
Deidara shot him a glare. "You called yourself a performance artist, didn't you? Real art means charging forward without hesitation! Hm!"
Akio replied calmly, "That only works if you're strong enough. When I chased my own 'art,' a lot of people tried to kill me."
Deidara froze. "Tch. Then why didn't they?"
Akio smiled faintly.
"Because they failed."
"Pfft—" Karin burst out laughing.
Akio shot her a warning look. Kurotsuchi and Deidara both stared at her, confused.
A moment later, Kurotsuchi laughed knowingly. "You're exaggerating, aren't you, mister? Even your teammate's laughing at you."
Akio's face darkened. Another misunderstanding.
Before he could explain, the three Iwa ninja finished eating and stepped forward.
"Kurotsuchi-sama, it's time to return."
She grinned. "Good luck, Deidara. Grandpa's going to chew you out."
Deidara visibly stiffened. He feared very few people—but Ōnoki wasn't one of them.
Kurotsuchi turned to Akio. "You coming with us?"
Akio nodded and motioned for Kimimaro and the others to follow.
As they walked, he remarked casually, "Your grandfather really values you—three jōnin as escorts."
Kurotsuchi shook her head. "Only Uncle Mahi is my guard. Uncle Hiko's assigned to Deidara, and Uncle Oishi protects our senior."
"Senior?" Akio paused. He didn't remember Ōnoki having a third disciple.
Kurotsuchi pointed toward the village gate. "He's waiting there."
Akio followed her gaze—and spotted a stocky, twelve- or thirteen-year-old boy standing near the entrance.
"Your senior is… Akatsuchi?" Akio asked, surprised. He remembered the man from the future—but not this young.
Kurotsuchi immediately corrected him. "No! That's my brother. My dad's name is Kitsuchi."
Akio twitched.
"Kitsuchi. Akatsuchi. Kurotsuchi… Does Ōnoki name people by geological layers or what?"
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