...
{3rd Pov}
After spending their night in blissful passion, making love until the first light of dawn touched the forest canopy, the next day Subaru and Reina finally stepped out of the small wooden house.
The air was fresh, filled with the scent of dew and grass, and Subaru stretched his arms lazily before letting out a long sigh.
With a simple wave of his hand, he took down the psychic barrier he had erected around the house — the same barrier meant to keep his Spirits outside so they wouldn't disturb his long-awaited reunion with Reina.
The moment the barrier vanished, Subaru was greeted by an unexpected and rather ridiculous sight.
Right in front of the house, Beatrice and Gloria were standing face-to-face, glaring daggers at each other like two statues locked in eternal combat.
Neither moved, neither spoke — it was as if they had frozen mid-battle, but their intense expressions made it clear that they had been doing this for quite a while.
Meanwhile, the other four lesser Spirits, who had been ordered to stay outside as well, were floating lazily above the ground in their orb forms, peacefully dozing off on the soft grass as if the world around them didn't matter.
"Don't tell me…" Subaru muttered, staring at the scene in disbelief before rubbing his temple, "Have you two been glaring at each other the entire night?"
At his question, both Great Spirits visibly flinched, their stiff composure breaking for a split second.
However, neither of them dared to answer.
They just stood there, eyes shifting slightly, guilt clear on their faces.
Subaru let out a deep sigh that carried more exasperation than anger and walked right up to them.
Without a word, he reached out and, before either could react, grabbed both of their ears and twisted them sharply.
"OW! OW! OW! STOP, IT HURTS!" Beatrice yelped in pain, her usual prideful tone vanishing instantly.
Gloria, on the other hand, tried to maintain her composure but failed miserably, letting out a pained grunt as Subaru continued twisting.
Until now, Subaru had only ever punished Gloria for her attitude — Beatrice had always gotten away with things thanks to her cuteness or quick tongue.
But this time, she wasn't going to escape.
Today, she was getting the same treatment.
"You two absolute idiots!" Subaru scolded, his voice rising as both spirits looked down in shame.
"Do you really think standing here all night, just glaring at each other like a couple of brain-dead statues, counts as a victory?! You could've done something productive, or at least gone to sleep, but no! You had to act like stubborn children!"
Both of the Great Spirits stood with their heads hung low, eyes downcast, too embarrassed to even speak back.
The tension that had filled the air all night finally broke, replaced by Subaru's frustrated but almost fatherly reprimand.
After a few more moments of lecturing and grumbling, Subaru finally sighed again and decided to forgive them.
"Whatever. I'm too tired for this," he muttered, waving them off.
Beatrice and Gloria gave small, guilty nods before retreating back into Subaru's soul space, disappearing in streams of light.
The remaining Spirits, half-awake and sluggish, followed suit soon after.
Within moments, the clearing was quiet again.
And in that silence, Subaru could only shake his head, muttering under his breath, "Unbelievable… even my Spirits are a headache sometimes."
Then, with a tired smile, he turned to Reina — who was barely holding back a laugh — and the two of them began walking away, leaving behind the peaceful morning that had followed their chaotic night.
Reina let out a soft chuckle, her voice carrying a teasing warmth as she stepped closer to Subaru.
Without hesitation, she slipped her arm through his and pressed it snugly between her breasts, a mischievous smile spreading across her face.
Subaru, having used to her boldness by now, didn't felt flustered at all and instead let her be feeling the softness of her touch.
*Ahem*
He allowed her to cling to him as they walked side by side, their steps light and unhurried.
The rest of the day passed in a peaceful blur.
There were no monsters to fight, no crises to deal with, and no duties pulling Subaru away — just him and Reina, surrounded by untouched nature.
They explored the forest together, talking, laughing, and enjoying the simple freedom that came from being away from everything else.
Sometimes they would sit by the riverside, dipping their feet into the cold water, or rest beneath the shade of large trees while watching the sunlight flicker through the leaves.
Every moment they spent together was calm yet filled with a quiet joy that Subaru hadn't felt in a long time.
As night fell and the stars filled the sky, the mood shifted again.
The warmth between them turned into something more passionate, more primal.
The two of them gave in to their desires without hesitation, their bodies moving in perfect rhythm as they began another night of intense, relentless breeding.
(A/N: I hope the forest wasn't uprooted...)
Their moans and whispers echoed faintly through the forest, mixing with the sounds of crickets and wind.
Just like the previous nights, their love-making was fiery, filled with emotion and hunger, leaving both of them exhausted but deeply satisfied by the time dawn approached.
And like that, three entire days went by — days that felt both long and short at the same time.
Every morning began with lazy cuddles and laughter, and every night ended with heat, sweat, and passion.
But eventually, the peaceful days had to come to an end.
Subaru knew it couldn't last forever.
On the third morning, as the sun rose once again and painted the forest in gold, Subaru finally decided that it was time to leave.
He had spent enough time resting, enough time indulging in the comfort that this place offered.
Now, he needed to return to his own world — the one that demanded his presence.
However, before heading back, Subaru decided to do one last thing.
He wanted to make a final check-up of this world — to make sure everything was truly fine.
After all, in several of the earlier timelines, things had gone horribly wrong.
Villages burned, people died, and peace turned into chaos.
But this time felt different, almost stable.
(A/N: Yeah, and now you are going to be bane of that stability, you have lived enough as a hero to become a villain)
Still, Subaru wasn't the kind of person to trust his luck so easily.
He needed to be sure.
So before opening the portal that would take him back, he took a deep breath and muttered to himself, "Let's see if this world's really holding together this time, or if it's just waiting to fall apart again."
And with that thought, he began his inspection — the final step before returning to the world that awaited him.
He began his inspection by observing the Subaru of this world first.
As he watched through Echidna's Authority of Greed, he saw his alternate self in a quiet, hidden clearing deep within the forest — a place that was clearly used as a secret training ground.
The man was going through his daily exercises with serious determination, pushing his body through repetitive drills and parkour.
Even though his movements were rough and lacked polish, there was no denying the effort and persistence behind them.
After finishing his training, the other Subaru collapsed on the ground, panting heavily, before turning his attention to a small girl sitting nearby on a tree stump — Beatrice.
The two of them soon began to talk, laugh, and play around, with Beatrice showing her usual tsundere-like attitude, pretending to be annoyed even as she stayed close to him.
The sight was oddly wholesome.
It carried a certain warmth that made even the observing Subaru's heart soften for a moment.
Inside his soul space, however, his own Beatrice was grinning from ear to ear, clearly amused by what she was seeing.
'Do you see that, I suppose?!' Beatrice exclaimed proudly, crossing her arms with a smug look.
'No matter which world it is, Betty always ends up as Subaru's partner! That's how special Betty is, in every single reality!' Her pride was practically overflowing, and her ego was climbing to heights unknown.
Gloria, who was standing beside her with her arms folded, immediately rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue in irritation.
'Hmph! Don't make me laugh. This world's Beatrice is pathetically weak — she can't even properly support our father's counterpart. She's just a child playing at being a Great Spirit,' Gloria said coldly, her tone dripping with superiority.
She could already sense how fragile and underpowered the Beatrice of this world was compared to themselves.
And she wasn't entirely wrong.
As an artificial Great Spirit, Beatrice had one major limitation — she couldn't draw mana naturally from the world's atmosphere like a normal Spirit could.
Her entire mana supply depended on her contractor's reserves.
Unfortunately for this world's Beatrice, her Subaru possessed a broken gate and an extremely small mana capacity.
That made her magical output considerably weaker than what she could have been under ideal circumstances.
In contrast, the Beatrice standing within Subaru's soul space was leagues above her counterpart.
She had not spent her over four centuries accumulating mana inside the Forbidden Library, and now, with Subaru's massive natural mana pool backing her up, her power level was incomparable.
If one were to pit them against each other, the difference would be as clear as heaven and earth.
Beatrice, of course, wasn't one to back down from a verbal fight.
She puffed out her chest and smirked at Gloria, her twin drills bouncing slightly as she shot back with confidence.
'Hmph! At least Betty is actually there, supporting her Subaru and staying by his side like a true partner should! What about you, huh? Still rolling around somewhere as a lazy little orb of mana, dozing off in some random forest?'
Her words hit their mark immediately, and Gloria's calm demeanor cracked.
Her eyebrow twitched sharply, and a faint scowl crossed her face as she glared at Beatrice.
It was clear that the jab had gotten under her skin.
As Beatrice and Gloria continued their usual childish arguing inside his soul space — their bickering echoing like a never-ending storm — Zero, who was calmly observing from his core consciousness, shifted his focus back toward the Natsuki Subaru of this world.
Watching the other version of himself go about his life, he couldn't help but smile faintly.
'I guess his life isn't that bad,' he thought to himself.
The Subaru of this world seemed to be living decently, surrounded by people who cared about him.
Even though Zero knew well that this version of Subaru would soon face the same kind of hardships and tragedies that fate seemed to throw at him in every timeline, he also knew something else — this Subaru wasn't alone.
He had his friends, his allies, and the strength to crawl through despair and stand up again, just like he always did.
Still, Zero wanted to be absolutely certain.
He wasn't content with simply observing from the outside — not when it came to something as important as his counterpart's mental state.
After all, he knew better than anyone how deeply Natsuki Subaru's mind could be scarred beneath the surface smiles and false optimism.
So, deciding to make sure everything was truly fine, he extended his consciousness outward and used his Psychic abilities to quietly invade the Subaru's mind, slipping past the layers of thought until he could hear the raw, unfiltered voice of his inner monologue.
At first, there was silence — a heavy, suffocating silence.
Then, one by one, the thoughts began surfacing.
'I'm just a leech… nothing but a useless burden,' the voice whispered, filled with pain and disgust.
'I should just die… at least then my parents wouldn't have to keep worrying about a failure like me.'
Zero's expression darkened slightly as he continued listening.
More thoughts came flooding in, one after another — each one sharper than the last.
'I messed up again… I wanted to help Emilia, but in the end, all I did was make things worse. Because of me, she became a laughingstock.'
'I'm really useless… I can't do anything right. No matter how hard I try, I always end up dragging everyone down.'
Then the tone shifted, turning even darker.
'Ah… I hate myself. I really hate it… Why couldn't I save Rem? Why did I have to be so damn powerless?'
Each thought hit like a knife, raw and bitter.
But Zero didn't stop there.
He pushed deeper into the stream of Subaru's emotions, only to hear more — the kind of delusional determination that came from a man breaking under pressure but refusing to admit it.
'Emilia told me to wait for her reply,' the thought continued.
'I know… it must be my fault somehow. But that's fine. I'll just keep loving her. I'll keep showering her with affection until she finally accepts me. That's what I'll do… no matter how long it takes.'
Zero's fists clenched unconsciously.
These weren't the thoughts of a stable person — they were the fragmented, bleeding remnants of a man who had given everything yet still blamed himself for things far beyond his control.
And then came the final thought — the one that made Zero's blood run cold.
'Since I can Return by Death anyway… my life doesn't matter. As long as my friends survive, that's enough. I can just die again and again — it's fine… it's fine.'
That was the breaking point.
Hearing those words, Zero's eyes widened in fury, his expression shifting from pity to anger in an instant.
His aura flared violently, and the Spirits inside his soul space froze mid-argument as they felt their master's fury burst forth like a storm.
They quickly manifested outside.
"Father? What's the matter?" Gloria's voice broke the tense silence first.
Her tone was calm but carried a sharp edge of concern, her crimson eyes narrowing as she tried to read Subaru's expression.
The aura of anger radiating from him was so intense that even she, a Great Spirit who prided herself on her composure, couldn't ignore the rising heat of emotion filling the space around them. I
nside, she was already furious — furious at whoever or whatever had dared to make her father this upset.
"Umu! Father, tell me who made you angry! I'll burn his ass to ashes!" Agni shouted next, flames flaring around her orb form in a violent burst.
Her temper was always short when it came to something related to her father, and seeing Subaru's calm mask crack sent her emotions into overdrive.
Her entire spirit body trembled with the urge to unleash her power and incinerate the cause of his distress.
"Yeah, Father! Just say the word and I'll drown that bastard till they can't breathe again!" Aqua yelled, her watery orb form bubbling with fury as her energy fluctuated wildly.
"I'm going to crush them," Gaea muttered in her deep, rumbling tone.
The Spirit of Soil wasn't one to speak often, but her anger was visible in the trembling ground beneath their feet.
Even she, the most stoic of the elemental spirits, couldn't tolerate seeing her father like this.
"Father sad… Sylphy make Father happy," the little wind spirit said softly, floating closer to Subaru.
Her glowing body shimmered faintly as she wrapped herself around his shoulder, trying to comfort him in her own innocent way.
Her gentle tone stood in stark contrast to the chaos that the others were causing, yet her concern felt just as genuine.
Meanwhile, Beatrice, who had been standing quietly with her arms crossed, finally opened her mouth.
"What has made Subaru so angry and sad, I suppose?" she asked, tilting her head with a mix of confusion and concern.
Her usual smug tone was gone, replaced by something more serious.
She could sense it clearly — this wasn't just simple irritation or momentary frustration.
Whatever Subaru had seen had struck something deep inside him.
Subaru looked around at all of them — his loyal spirits, each expressing their love and anger in their own way — and let out a slow, pained smile.
The warmth in their concern touched him, yet it also made his chest ache even more.
"It's nothing… not something any of you can fix," he said quietly, though his tone made it clear that wasn't entirely true.
In truth, he knew exactly what was bothering him.
He had seen the Natsuki Subaru of this world, seen the state of his heart and mind.
And it reminded him of himself — the old him.
The weak, broken, self-loathing version of Natsuki Subaru who existed before everything changed.
The one who used to cry, curse, and blame himself for every single tragedy.
He remembered those days all too well — the sleepless nights, the panic, the fear, and the endless cycle of hating his own existence.
He had watched it in anime once, but living through it… that was a completely different kind of hell.
It was the pain of watching yourself die over and over, both literally and emotionally.
But that Subaru no longer existed.
After fusing with Ayan, after gaining the power that transcended human limits, after enduring several loops and learning to control his fate — that version of him had changed.
The self-hatred had long burned away, replaced by understanding and acceptance.
He had passed the stage of despising himself.
Yet seeing his alternate self still trapped in that same mental pit — believing he was worthless, hating himself for every mistake, and sacrificing his life without hesitation — it made Zero's blood boil.
That Subaru was broken.
Messed up beyond words.
And the worst part was… he didn't even realize how much pain he was in.
In fact, what disturbed Zero the most wasn't simply Subaru's sadness or insecurity — it was the terrifying truth that this version of Subaru didn't even value his own life anymore.
He genuinely believed that his existence held no real worth.
To him, the lives of others were infinitely more important.
It wasn't just about his friends or the people close to him; he even placed random strangers, complete unknowns, above himself.
He would gladly throw his own life away if it meant someone else could keep theirs.
That was how warped his sense of worth had become.
Zero could clearly feel it — the twisted logic that governed his other self's mind.
The belief that his pain, his death, didn't matter as long as someone else could smile.
And as he dove deeper into his counterpart's thoughts, he began to experience one particular memory that made his blood run cold.
It was the moment when Subaru of this world died to save Rem.
Zero saw everything — the fear, the confusion, the pain — all flashing through his mind as though he was the one reliving it.
What made it even worse was the cruel irony of it all: Rem had killed him multiple times before that moment.
She had seen him as an enemy, hunted him, and struck him down more than once.
Even Ram, who was usually calm and cold, had turned her anger and frustration toward him for Rem's death without even questioning whether he is innocent or not, cornering him until there was nowhere left to run.
Zero watched the entire scene unfold like a nightmare replaying itself — the cliffside, the wind howling, the overwhelming despair crushing Subaru's heart.
And yet, despite all that pain, despite all the betrayal and death, the other Subaru had still chosen to die for them.
For a brief moment, Zero could feel exactly what that Subaru had felt in that instant — the strange, hollow sense of peace right before the end.
The emotion wasn't courage or selflessness; it was resignation.
A thought so deeply rooted in despair that it almost sounded rational to him at that time.
'Since I can restart anyway… my life matters less than theirs. Even if I die, even if I suffer, even if they insult me or hurt me again and again, as long as they can smile in the end… it's fine. If someone like me — a useless leech — can be useful for once, then dying isn't so bad.'
Those were his exact thoughts.
They weren't noble or heroic.
There was no grand sacrifice or selfless purity in that reasoning — only pure self-loathing and hopeless acceptance.
A man who had convinced himself that the only way he could matter was by dying over and over again.
Zero clenched his fists tightly as the weight of those memories pressed down on him.
Each scene that followed was worse than the last — the countless failures, the betrayals, the guilt, and the unbearable isolation that came from carrying a secret no one else could ever understand.
He watched this world's Subaru stumble through all of it, desperately trying to keep going despite being emotionally shattered.
As Zero continued to observe, it became painfully clear to him just how different it felt to see these memories from the inside rather than remembering the anime version of them from a distance.
This wasn't a scripted story or a piece of fiction — it was real pain, raw emotion, and unfiltered suffering.
Every thought, every feeling, every scream was something he could feel echoing inside his mind.
And for the first time in a long while, Zero felt that old, suffocating weight in his chest — the same hopelessness he had once lived through himself.
It wasn't nostalgia.
It was recognition.
He wasn't just watching a broken version of himself… he was remembering what it truly meant to be Natsuki Subaru.
If all of it had to be summed up in a single word, it would be this — Subaru's life was pathetic.
There was no better way to describe it.
The more Zero observed him, the clearer it became.
This version of Subaru had saved countless people, risked everything time and time again, yet most of those people didn't even deserve the salvation he brought them.
He sacrificed his body, his sanity, and his very soul for others who either failed to understand his pain or, worse, didn't care at all.
And then there was Emilia.
The girl Subaru had fallen for so deeply that his entire existence began revolving around her.
But the harsh truth, as Zero saw it, was that Emilia didn't truly love him — not in the way he wished she did.
What she felt for him wasn't passion or affection born from understanding; it was pity.
A soft, sympathetic emotion that made her treat Subaru more like a fragile child than a partner.
It wasn't until the events that took place in the Sanctuary that something even remotely genuine started to bloom between them.
Yet even then, Emilia's understanding of love remained shallow.
She didn't know what love actually was — how it should feel, what it should mean, or how much it should demand of both people.
She clung to Subaru's feelings while telling him to wait until she sorts out her own feeling as if they were something comforting, something safe, without realizing how much pain her indecision caused him.
To her, it might not have seemed like a big deal.
She probably thought Subaru's devotion was just his way of showing support — that it was natural for him to give everything without expecting much in return.
And Subaru, broken and self-degrading as he had become, didn't even question it.
He simply accepted it, convinced that his worth existed only through his ability to make others happy, to save them, even if it meant destroying himself in the process.
This current Subaru was no longer Natsuki Subaru.
His identity had completely changed.
He wasn't the same foolish, loud, hopeful boy who once dreamed about being a hero.
Now, his entire existence revolved around saving others.
That was all he knew — all that defined him.
There was nothing left for himself.
Loving himself was no longer even an option he considered.
And Emilia… she never truly grasped the depth of the pain he went through.
She couldn't.
To her, Subaru pulling off miracles, somehow finding a way out of impossible situations, was just something he did.
Something that was obvious.
She didn't question the suffering behind it, the countless deaths, the trauma that came with returning from the dead over and over again.
She simply accepted the results and smiled, thinking everything had turned out fine in the end.
She took his efforts, his sacrifices, and his unconditional support for granted.
Not out of cruelty — but out of ignorance.
And that ignorance made her the one who reaped all the rewards of his suffering.
Subaru, on the other hand, was gradually breaking apart.
Every time he smiled for Emilia's sake, another piece of him disappeared.
Every time he died for her dream, a little more of his self-worth crumbled into nothing.
He was slowly, systematically destroying himself, piece by piece, just to make Emilia's wishes come true.
And the cruelest part of it all?
Emilia only saw the victories.
The bright smiles, the hopeful outcomes, the moments when Subaru stood tall and declared everything would be okay.
She never saw the hundred brutal deaths that led up to that moment — the screams, the despair, the times he begged for the pain to stop.
She didn't see any of it.
Even if, by some measure, their love wasn't completely one-sided anymore… it was still far from healthy.
It was a love born from imbalance — one that consumed one side completely while leaving the other blissfully unaware.
And that was the bitter truth.
Whatever existed between them now, no matter how sincere it might appear, ultimately it was toxic.
A bond that thrived on Subaru's suffering, and one that would continue eating him alive until there was nothing left to save.
Subaru's blind devotion hadn't disappeared — not even slightly.
It had simply changed form.
The desperate willingness to throw himself into death after death for the sake of others had faded, but not because he had learned self-preservation or gained self-respect.
No, it was fear that restrained him now — pure, rational fear.
After all the things he had experienced, after realizing the unpredictable nature of his Return by Death ability, he had come to fear that every time he used it, he might not just reset time… but create an entirely separate timeline.
A world that would continue without him, where everyone he left behind would still suffer.
That fear haunted him every single day.
It was the one thing keeping him from pressing that invisible reset button again.
In some twisted way, that fear had become his final lifeline — the last fragile thread that stopped him from losing the last bit of self-worth he had left.
It wasn't hope or pride keeping him going; it was terror.
The terror of knowing his suffering might be meaningless.
But the problems didn't end there.
Subaru's so-called friends — the ones he had risked his life for, the ones who respected and believed in him — they weren't perfect either.
Yes, they admired him.
They trusted his instincts, they acknowledged his strength, and some even called him a hero.
But like everyone else, they could never truly see what was happening inside him.
They didn't understand the depth of his suffering, and to them, his self-hatred often looked like nothing more than a joke or some kind of exaggerated humility.
They celebrated his victories but never questioned what it cost him to achieve them.
They saw his "miracles" as natural occurrences, things that simply happened because Subaru was Subaru — someone who always found a way.
None of them realized how many corpses of himself he had to crawl over to reach those "miracles."
And then there was Ram.
The complicated, infuriating, and painfully honest Ram.
The woman who once cared for her sister more than anything else, yet now lived as if Rem had never even existed.
That part alone made Zero's chest tighten.
Ram's love was entirely devoted to Roswaal — to the man who had manipulated, used, and twisted everything around him for his own purposes.
Even though Ram didn't know the full truth — she still had no idea that Subaru could time travel by dying — she knew enough.
She knew just how much Subaru had suffered, how much he had broken himself, and how deeply Roswaal had exploited his desperation for the sake of his own insane goals.
After the events in the Sanctuary, Roswaal's direct influence had weakened, but his schemes… they never truly stopped.
He was the kind of man who always found new ways to manipulate fate from the shadows.
And Ram, despite everything, remained loyal to him.
That loyalty ran deep — frighteningly deep. If the time ever came when she had to make a choice between Subaru, the man who would willingly die to protect her, and Roswaal, the man who wouldn't hesitate to kill her for his ambition, Ram wouldn't even hesitate.
She would choose Roswaal without question.
That was how warped her heart had become.
What made it worse was the quiet resentment she still harbored toward Subaru.
Somewhere deep inside her, Ram felt both jealous and disgusted by him.
To her, Subaru was that "lucky" guy who somehow always pulled off miracles — the one who made impossible things happen as if the world itself bent for him.
In her mind, he hadn't earned his victories through pain or effort; they just happened for him.
She didn't see the mental scars he carried, the agony of dying hundreds of times, or the horror of remembering every single death vividly.
She didn't see the trembling hands, the panic attacks, the nightmares.
To her, Subaru's struggles weren't real — they were invisible.
She had convinced herself that he hadn't suffered nearly as much as he claimed.
And that, more than anything else, showed just how deeply disconnected everyone around Subaru had become from the truth of his existence.
They saw his smile and assumed he was fine.
They saw his strength and assumed he was unbreakable.
None of them realized that every victory they celebrated was built on the foundation of his endless pain.
Subaru expanded his psychic perception outward, spreading his awareness through the Lugunica and beyond, tapping into the emotions and stray thoughts of the people who knew him—or at least, knew of him.
He wanted to understand how the world viewed the Natsuki Subaru of this timeline, what others truly felt behind their polite words and public smiles.
The result, however, wasn't good.
In fact, it was worse than he expected.
Among the many thoughts he sensed, the one that stood out was Anastasia's.
In her mind, Subaru was nothing more than a person who had gotten incredibly lucky—a man who stumbled into success by sheer coincidence and good fortune.
She didn't see the blood, the pain, or the countless resets that had gone into those so-called "miracles."
To her, Subaru was a fluke of fate, someone who happened to be in the right place at the right time.
Felix was no better.
The cat-eared healer outwardly showed kindness and even a degree of respect, but beneath that politeness lay resentment.
He hated Subaru—hated how someone so clumsy and unrefined managed to achieve things that seasoned veterans couldn't.
Still, Felix couldn't deny Subaru's results.
Even if he despised him personally, he respected his accomplishments enough to keep his mouth shut.
But when Subaru delved deeper into their minds, the truth became painfully clear: all his efforts had ultimately benefited others more than himself.
His sweat, his blood, his sleepless nights, his countless deaths—everything he had done had gone to raise the reputation of others.
Anastasia and Crusch, for example, had gained far more recognition for the defeat of the White Whale and the Sin Archbishop of Sloth than Subaru himself ever did.
Their names were sung in the capital, celebrated as the great heroes who had slain legendary foes.
Subaru's name was barely mentioned—if at all.
To the world, he was just a footnote in their achievements, the nameless helper who stood in the background while the nobles took the spotlight.
And yet, there was one person who had made sure Subaru wasn't completely erased from the record—Crusch Karsten.
If not for her, Subaru's name would have been forgotten entirely.
It was her personal decision, her sense of honor, that prevented that.
During the battle with the Whale, she had seen Subaru's determination, his leadership, and his willingness to throw himself into danger for the sake of others.
She had been impressed by him—enough to promise that she wouldn't take all the credit for the victory.
Even after she lost her memories, that promise somehow persisted within her, as if her soul itself remembered his sincerity.
Without her, no one would have ever known the truth—that Subaru had been the key factor in their victory.
Some people did admire him, yes.
There were those who looked up to him, but their admiration wasn't born from genuine understanding.
To them, Subaru was just a novelty—a commoner who had managed to pull off great feats that even trained knights couldn't dream of.
He was the "exception," the anomaly that proved miracles sometimes happened to ordinary people.
They looked at him like a symbol, not a human being.
But among the nobility and the royal knights, Subaru's reputation was entirely different.
To them, Natsuki Subaru was still a joke—an outsider who had somehow stumbled his way into their affairs and gotten lucky again and again.
They whispered behind his back, saying that he was reckless, unrefined, and undeserving of his victories.
They dismissed his struggles as luck, his achievements as accidents.
No matter how many times he bled, how many times he fought, how many times he died—none of it mattered.
In their eyes, Subaru was still just that same incompetent commoner who had no right to stand among them.
And as Subaru sensed all of this through his psychic range, he could feel that familiar sting in his chest—the kind that came not from hatred, but from the quiet realization that no matter what he did, people would always see what they wanted to see.
Ultimately, this wasn't the tale of a weak and helpless boy who was thrown into another world and gradually found strength through sacrifice, kindness, and friendship.
No, far from it.
This was the story of a boy who was broken down by another world—a world that used him, exploited him, and took advantage of his kindness again and again.
A boy who suffered endlessly, not because of heroism or divine destiny, but because of his inability to value himself.
His only true salvation came when he finally began to love himself, when he stopped worshiping the world and others, and finally placed himself above everything else that had used him as a pawn.
Although Zero—formerly Subaru—didn't want to accept it, his advanced calculations and intuitive foresight painted an ugly picture.
The probability of Natsuki Subaru marrying Emilia was only around ten percent.
That was it.
All the pain, all the deaths, all the sacrifices, all the humiliations—just for a ten percent chance at love.
Even worse, according to his analysis, Julius had a slightly higher chance—around fourteen percent—of ending up with Emilia instead.
The irony was bitter and almost laughable.
Even though Emilia did have some feelings for Subaru, it wasn't enough to outweigh her lack of emotional understanding and the pity she often confused with affection.
Zero couldn't help but feel disgusted as he processed all of it—the endless loops of suffering, the self-destruction, the false hopes, the unreciprocated devotion.
His body shuddered as the flood of emotions hit him again, not as a detached observer but as someone who had lived that very pain.
He wasn't just seeing memories.
He was feeling them—the exhaustion, the heartbreak, the constant cycle of death and failure, the quiet despair behind Subaru's desperate smiles.
Every insult, every rejection, every time the world turned its back on him—Zero could feel it burn into his soul like it was happening all over again.
Because at his core, he was still Natsuki Subaru.
And no matter how powerful or wise he had become, no one could understand the pain of this Subaru better than him.
Now Subaru had awakened a new Authority of Greed which made him able to share his abilities and burdens with allies, that is why Subaru's every spirit and Reina knew what he observed with Psychic, but not Subaru's memories, yet they understood what Subaru was feeling.
Reina despite not knowing about RBD had observed this world's Subaru for a while, so she understood why he was feeling like this.
Reina, noticing the sudden disgust twisting Subaru's face, immediately stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him from behind, pressing her body softly against his back.
The warmth of her embrace broke him out of his trance, dragging him back from the storm of emotions that had nearly swallowed him.
Her presence alone had a grounding effect, as if pulling him back to reality.
"Reina… this—" Subaru tried to speak, but the words got caught in his throat.
For once, he didn't know what to say.
He wanted to help the Subaru of this world somehow, to do something to fix the broken version of himself he had just witnessed.
But he couldn't form the right words.
There was too much guilt, too much anger, and too much pity swirling inside him all at once.
Before he could even finish his thought, Reina's voice cut through the silence.
"I do not care what happens to him," she said bluntly, her tone cold and sharp, leaving no room for argument.
She knew exactly what he was thinking, and she wanted to stop it right there, after all she knew Subaru was suffering but didn't offer her help, despite him being lover in her timeline.
To her, that Subaru—the one from this world—was nothing more than a stranger.
Even if he had the same face, the same voice, and nearly the same personality, he wasn't her man.
He wasn't the Subaru she had fallen in love with, the one who had fought, bled, and lived beside her.
"He might look like you, he might even act like you," Reina continued, tightening her hold on him, "but he's not you. If he dies, it's none of my concern. I don't give a damn what happens to him."
Her words carried a certain ruthlessness, but also absolute loyalty.
"I only care about what you want," she said, her voice softening as she rested her head against his shoulder.
Her tone shifted from defiant to tender.
"You're my Natsuki Subaru—my one and only. Whatever you want to do, wherever you go, whatever choice you make… I'll be right beside you."
Her declaration calmed him.
The storm that had been raging in his chest began to fade as her warmth and sincerity sank in.
After a long moment of silence, Subaru finally exhaled, realizing he had been holding his breath.
It was then that he decided to tell her everything—the truth he had been hiding.
He told Reina about Return by Death, the cursed ability that had defined his existence, the very power that let him redo time by dying.
He explained about the Witch of Envy, Satella, the one who had summoned him into that wretched world in the first place.
He confessed everything he had endured—the deaths, the resets, the endless despair, and how that same witch's obsession had followed him through every loop.
He had forgotten to tell her all this earlier, lost in the chaos of their passionate reunion, their heated nights, and their "breeding" as they jokingly called it.
But now, there was no reason to hide anything anymore.
His Great Spirits already knew about all of it.
They had learned the truth during the events of the previous timeline, yet none of them had told Reina.
Not because they wanted to deceive her, but because they weren't snitches—they respected their father's privacy, even in matters as dark as this.
Reina listened to every word without interrupting.
Her eyes grew colder and darker as Subaru's story went on.
Each revelation, each description of his pain and suffering, seemed to stoke something violent within her.
By the time he finished speaking, her expression was no longer calm.
Her entire body was trembling—not out of fear, but out of pure fury.
Her nails dug into Subaru's arm as she muttered under her breath, her tone filled with hatred.
The anger she felt for the Witch of Envy and the world that had tortured her beloved was boiling over, barely restrained.
By the time Subaru turned his head to look at her, Reina's eyes were glowing faintly, her rage visible even without words.
By the end of his explanation, there was only one emotion left in her—burning, murderous anger and an overwhelming desire to destroy whoever had caused him to suffer.
"Subaru… just tell me," Reina said, her voice trembling with fury as her grip on his arm tightened, "tell me who killed you… I'll fucking end their entire family."
Her tone wasn't loud, but the hatred lacing every word was enough to make even the Spirits fall silent.
Subaru's eyebrow twitched slightly, both surprised and amused at the same time.
He knew Reina's personality better than anyone else—how fierce, protective, and utterly unhinged she could get when it came to him.
Yet even then, part of him expected her to be angry at him for hiding something so massive.
After all, he had just confessed that he possessed a cursed power tied to death and was connected to none other than the Witch of Envy herself.
Any normal woman would have screamed, cried, or at least questioned him in horror.
But Reina wasn't normal.(She is an Yandere)
She wasn't capable of hating him—ever.
That's just how she was.
Being the Goudere she was, she couldn't bring herself to scold or resent him for keeping such an enormous secret.
Instead, her rage turned completely inward and outward at the same time—outward toward everyone who had ever hurt Subaru, and inward toward herself for having "failed" him.
Her thoughts spiraled fast, her eyes darkening with guilt and self-loathing.
'How many times had he died? How many times had he screamed in agony?' She clenched her fists until her knuckles turned white, trembling as horrifying images filled her mind.
She hated herself.
The thought that Subaru had to experience death again and again, while she hadn't been there to protect him, tore her apart.
She began calculating the possible number of times he could have died before gaining enough power to overcome it—dozens, hundreds… maybe even thousands of times. The mere idea made her want to throw up.
Each death, each pain, each betrayal he could have endured—it was too much for her to bear even as an afterthought.
The guilt gnawed at her heart like a parasite.
Seeing that Subaru had finally told Reina everything, Gloria—who had been silently floating beside them—decided it was time to add her own piece.
She began explaining to Reina everything they had gone through in the previous timeline: all the horrors, the tragedies, and the exact moments when Subaru of that timeline had been torn apart by fate.
Gloria didn't hold back.
She described how Subaru had died over and over again, each time more brutal than the last.
By the time Gloria was done recounting the previous timeline's Subaru's fate, Reina's expression had completely broken.
Her body trembled violently as tears streamed down her cheeks, her breathing ragged and uneven. She couldn't take it anymore.
"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Subaru…" she sobbed, collapsing to her knees, her forehead pressing against his leg as she begged for forgiveness.
"I should've been there… I should've protected you! I failed you! Again and again, I failed you!"
Her voice cracked with every word, the guilt consuming her from within.
It wasn't a performance—she genuinely believed she had wronged him, even though it was impossible for her to have known what he went through back then.
It took Subaru several hours to calm her down.
He sat with her, holding her tightly, whispering words of comfort again and again until her sobbing finally turned into quiet sniffles.
He reassured her that none of it was her fault, that the timelines she was crying over were long gone, erased from existence.
He made her look into his eyes and swear to stop hating herself for something that wasn't in her control.
Even then, it wasn't easy. Reina's anger and hatred didn't fade; they just changed direction.
She now wanted revenge—pure, merciless revenge.
More than once, she swore that she would hunt down every single person who had ever killed Subaru, even if it meant burning entire nations to the ground.
It took all of Subaru's patience and logic to stop her from doing something insane.
He explained to her over and over that the people who killed him in the past loops were not the same individuals who existed in this current timeline.
Those events were gone, erased, undone by his power. Killing anyone now would be meaningless.
Still, Reina struggled to accept it.
Every time she remembered what he had suffered, her hands would tremble with murderous intent.
But Subaru held her close, speaking softly until her breathing steadied.
He reminded her that he was alive, that he had survived everything, that she didn't need to drown herself in vengeance for ghosts.
By the time she finally stopped shaking, Reina's tears had dried, but her eyes still burned with rage and devotion.
She wasn't just angry at the world anymore—she had made a silent vow that no matter what happened from now on, no one would ever hurt Subaru again.
Not while she was alive.
(A/N: Possible foreshadowing? Boys, raise the flag)
After finally calming Reina down and ensuring she wouldn't go on a rampage, Subaru sat quietly, deep in thought.
His mind churned with possibilities, every idea running through his head like a tangled storm.
He had seen the mental state of the Subaru in this world—the hopelessness, the blind devotion, the self-hatred—and it made him restless.
He couldn't just stand by and watch another version of himself rot away in a pit of self-degradation and delusion.
He wanted to help that Subaru.
He wanted to make him see, to make him understand his own worth.
But he knew words wouldn't be enough.
He wasn't dealing with rational people who could be convinced through lectures or speeches.
He was dealing with Natsuki Subaru—a man so stubborn, so self-sacrificing, that reason alone couldn't reach him.
And the people surrounding him weren't any better.
They would never truly understand what they had done to him unless something forced them to face it.
No… a few words of wisdom wouldn't cut it.
They all needed a reality check.
A brutal, undeniable one.
That's when an idea formed in Subaru's mind—one that made even him pause for a second before smirking to himself.
If the world wouldn't learn through kindness, then it would learn through fear.
If Subaru of this world wouldn't value himself as a hero, then maybe he would value himself when faced with the villain he could have become.
And so, Subaru made his decision.
He would take on the role of a villain.
His plan was simple in theory, but dangerous in execution.
He would disguise himself as the Sin Archbishop of Pride—a being powerful enough to make the world tremble.
During the upcoming Priestella attack, he would intervene and forcibly take command over the remaining Sin Archbishops, bending them to his will using sheer power and authority.
Once he had their obedience, he would stage a grand battle against the combined forces of the five camps—the very alliance of Emilia, Crusch, Anastasia, Priscilla, and Felt.
He would crush them all in combat, not to destroy them permanently, but to prove just how powerless they were in front of true strength.
Then, when their spirits were broken and the world stood on the edge of despair, he would reveal his identity—declaring himself to be Natsuki Subaru, a version of him from the future who had ascended far beyond the weak and self-loathing man they all knew.
He would announce himself as the ruler of the world, not for conquest, but to show the real Subaru what he could become if he ever stopped clinging to weakness.
He wanted to give that version of himself a living example—proof that Subaru could rise, that he could dominate even fate itself, if only he valued his own life and strength.
But the lesson wouldn't stop there.
His true goal wasn't just to inspire; it was to expose.
He wanted the current Subaru to see with his own eyes the true faces of the people around him—the so-called friends who took his devotion for granted, who laughed off his pain, who saw him as a tool rather than a person.
He wanted Subaru to realize just how hollow his relationships had become.
If nothing else, this elaborate act would make the boy understand how wrong his current life was, how twisted the world had made him.
Subaru's plan was to keep the façade going long enough for the message to sink in.
He would remain the villain until the alliance began to fracture—until the camps started blaming each other, until trust broke apart, and until the real Subaru stood alone, forced to confront the truth about everyone around him.
Only when the situation reached that perfect breaking point—when they tried to capture him, and the alliance itself began to crumble—would he finally reveal that the entire thing had been an act.
The next phase of his plan involved cleaning up the mess he created.
Once he achieved his goal and shook the foundations of their beliefs, he would reveal that he wasn't the real Subaru at all.
He would introduce Pandora—the Witch of Vainglory—into the picture.
Her convenient reality-bending abilities would serve as the perfect cover, making everyone believe that what they had seen was merely a manipulation of perception, a false scenario created by her power.
That way, Subaru of this world would remain innocent in the eyes of others, while the message he wanted to deliver would remain burned into their minds.
It was a twisted plan, cruel and manipulative, but it was also effective.
And deep down, Zero—this stronger, wiser Subaru—knew that sometimes the only way to make people open their eyes… was to become the very monster they feared.
But then, the Subaru of this world went far beyond Zero's expectations—he actually summoned the Witch of Envy herself.
It was so absurd that for a few seconds, Zero almost thought he had seen it wrong.
It reminded him of the earlier ridiculous surprise from Priscilla, who had confidently—and stupidly—claimed that Gloria was her daughter.
That woman's ego knew no bounds, but to his own surprise, her stupidity had actually given him a brilliant idea that even he hadn't bothered to consider before.
In reality, Zero's shocked face at that moment hadn't been due to Priscilla's realization of the truth.
No, what had truly stunned him was the stroke of inspiration her nonsense had triggered in his mind.
Without wasting a moment, he adjusted his plan right there and then.
He decided to play along with her delusion, declaring Gloria to be the result of a union between the future Natsuki Subaru and Priscilla Barielle herself.
It was a risky improvisation, but it fit too perfectly into his ongoing charade to pass up.
Of course, he knew that this little lie would definitely come back to bite him in the ass later.
He wasn't naïve enough to believe such a reckless statement would go unnoticed or forgotten.
But at this point, he had already accepted that playing the villain came with its own set of heavy consequences.
He had stepped onto this path willingly—every deception, every death, and every manipulation was part of his grand design to make the other Subaru open his eyes.
And Zero had already crossed lines that could never be uncrossed.
He had allowed Garfiel and Otto to die right before his eyes—fully aware of what he was doing, fully capable of saving them—but he chose not to.
Not because he was heartless, but because he had a plan.
He could bring them back later, once everything was done.
He had made sure of that.
It was cruel, but it was necessary.
He had already taken measures to prevent Beatrice's permanent death as well.
The Beatrice of this world had been saved before her end and was now resting peacefully inside his Soul Space, being comforted and cared for by his own Beatrice—the one who had accompanied him from his original world.
The two had found solace in each other's company, a quiet corner of peace amidst the chaos Zero was orchestrating.
Now, however, everything had come down to this.
The final act.
The climax of the play.
This was where he would reveal everything—the entire truth—to the Subaru of this world.
His identity, his motives, his actions, everything he had done, and most importantly, why he had done it.
He knew that Subaru would despise him after hearing it all.
He fully expected to be hated, cursed, and perhaps even attacked.
After all, from that Subaru's perspective, Zero had allowed his friends to die without hesitation, all for the sake of some twisted performance.
But that was exactly what Zero wanted him to feel.
He wanted Subaru to taste that same disgust he had once felt toward himself.
He wanted him to understand just how wrong his way of thinking truly was—the mindset that believed dying over and over to save everyone was noble.
Zero wanted him to confront the sheer hypocrisy of that ideology by showing him the opposite extreme: a Subaru who would let others die endlessly because he could always bring them back.
He wanted him to feel the horror of that mentality taken to its logical conclusion.
Because that was the only way to make him truly understand that both extremes—dying endlessly to protect everyone or sacrificing everyone for control—were equally sickening.
Only by seeing that reflection would he finally find the balance that Zero himself had achieved through pain and endless cycles of despair.
Zero stood silently now, overlooking the chaos below.
The once-beautiful city was burning, reduced to a battlefield filled with screams and the sound of collapsing structures.
Citizens fled in panic, their lives crumbling before their eyes.
Each explosion, each death, was a reminder of the weight of his actions.
But he didn't flinch.
He looked directly toward the center of it all—the core where Subaru lay sprawled on the ground, frozen in shock after hearing Zero's earlier declaration.
His eyes were wide, his mind unable to comprehend the reality before him.
Zero sighed quietly and then teleported down, materializing right in front of the other Subaru.
The air crackled between them, heavy with tension and hatred.
Subaru, the one from this world, immediately pushed himself up, his entire body trembling—not from fear, but from rage.
His teeth clenched so tightly it looked like they might crack, and his eyes burned with pure, unfiltered hatred.
"You…!" Subaru spat out, his voice shaking with fury as he glared at Zero.
His hands were balled into fists, veins visible from the force of his anger.
And as Zero looked at him—his past self, his mirror, his victim, and his student—the corners of his mouth lifted slightly.
The last act had finally begun.
To be continued...
(A/N: I am feeling too lazy to copy paste the Patreon stuff, just know I have patreon and you can get upto 35 advance chaps of this fanfic, alongside chaps of three other re: zero fanfics, danmachi fanfic, Dark gathering fanfic, Mushoku tensei fanfic and of course a single chap of VM: IS)