Liyue, Liyue Harbor.
In a bustling teahouse, a handsome man with a small braid and eyeliner sat sipping tea, his gaze fixed on the pedestrians bustling through the streets below.
The teahouse was abuzz with chatter, the patrons eagerly discussing the celestial phenomenon that had occurred a few days prior. Although the event had taken place in Sumeru, far from Liyue, its sheer scale and magnificence meant that people in Liyue could still faintly see it by looking up, though the details were unclear.
"What in the world happened in Sumeru the other day? Ugh, the suspense is killing me! How come there's still no news?"
"I heard it was the Dendro Archon of Sumeru performing a divine miracle."
"Really? Is Sumeru's Dendro Archon that powerful? But wait... I thought she was only five hundred years old. How could she be that strong?"
"Ahem, well, that's just what I heard."
"And what's wrong with being five hundred? Maybe Sumeru's Dendro Archon is a prodigy!"
"Sigh... Even Sumeru has such a powerful god to protect it, while our Rex Lapis..."
"Sigh... Although we people of Liyue can protect ourselves, the passing of Rex Lapis is still a profound regret... To Rex Lapis!"
"To Rex Lapis!"
Listening to the chatter of the surrounding patrons, the man continued to sip his tea unhurriedly, his expression utterly serene.
But just then, his hand, raising the teacup, suddenly paused.
Down in the street below, a lively figure darted through the crowd. It was a quirky, spirited girl dressed in a Liyue-style outfit with intricate patterns and long coattails adorned with spider lilies and lilies. She wore a hat decorated with the Qian-Kun Tai hexagram, its front bearing the famous emblem of Liyue's Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
When the girl suddenly glanced up at the teahouse and then broke into a sprint toward it, the man knew his peaceful afternoon was over.
"Consultant Zhongli! I finally found you!"
The girl rushed up and immediately latched onto the arm of the man called Zhongli, tugging him as she spoke. The other patrons in the teahouse barely batted an eye, accustomed to such scenes.
"Come back with me! There's a mountain of work waiting for you at the Parlor!"
"An auspicious omen appeared a few days ago! At such a crucial moment, as a key member of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, Consultant Zhongli, you must shoulder the responsibility of helping the Parlor grow and prosper!"
An auspicious omen?
Hearing this, a strange expression flickered across Zhongli's face before he quickly composed himself. He drained the last of his tea, then stood up.
"Director Hu Tao, let's set aside how you've managed to label recent events as 'auspicious.' Even if it were true, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's business hardly seems connected to good omens, does it?"
The young woman called Director Hu Tao was none other than Hu Tao, the 77th Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
While Hu Tao had been exceptionally clever since childhood, her brilliance often caused headaches. She was prone to bizarre ideas—not only did she personally advertise and solicit business door-to-door, but she even introduced "family group discounts" for their services.
"Consultant Zhongli, you couldn't be more wrong!"
"The recent celestial phenomenon clearly signifies that the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's business is about to boom!"
"If we don't go all out to expand our operations now, when will we?!"
We really shouldn't be hoping for business to "boom" like that!
Feeling the strange stares from those around them, Zhongli felt utterly exasperated.
While birth, aging, sickness, and death were inevitable parts of life, most people were far from comfortable discussing such matters so casually.
"Let's head back to the Parlor first... Proprietor, please put this on the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's tab."
"Right away, Mr. Zhongli! Take care!"
Soon, Zhongli and Hu Tao were walking through the streets of Liyue. Sensing Zhongli's lack of enthusiasm for the Parlor's expansion, Hu Tao chattered incessantly, emphasizing the importance of the matter.
"Anyway, I have a premonition! This is the perfect time for the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to soar to new heights!"
"We can't afford to slack off at such a crucial moment!"
Zhongli simply walked forward in silence, neither agreeing nor disagreeing, which made Hu Tao scratch her head in frustration.
Just a few days ago, Hu Tao had been confident she could make the Parlor take off all by herself. But after hitting one wall after another, she realized this was a job for Zhongli after all.
Hu Tao knew Zhongli was profoundly learned and possessed great foresight. It was just that he was a bit of a slacker. Aside from occasionally presiding over important funeral rites, he spent nearly all his time lounging in teahouses and opera houses, and even strolled the streets with his bird. He was the spitting image of a retired old man who'd somehow skipped several decades of life's struggles!
Hu Tao felt that if Zhongli had just a bit more ambition, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor would have already become a massive, thriving enterprise with branches across all Seven Nations!
No, I have to give him some motivation!
Hu Tao's eyes darted around, then suddenly lit up with a brilliant gleam. Beside her, Zhongli's body stiffened. He had a very bad feeling about this.
"Consultant Zhongli, there's something important I need to inform you about."
"Due to my recent increased spending on advertising, combined with the recent lull in business, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's coffers are running dangerously low!"
"So, from now on, Consultant Zhongli, no more trips to the opera house. And when you go to the teahouse, just drink water."
"I've already checked—plain water is free and unlimited!"
Zhongli: "?"
"And when you're out with your bird, remember to let it forage for its own food. We can't have it starving to death because we can't afford to feed it."
Zhongli: "..."
"Director Hu Tao... just tell me what you need me to do."
Zhongli relented. Hu Tao had struck his weak spot perfectly; he had no choice but to give in!
Of course, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's situation wasn't nearly as dire as Hu Tao claimed. Still, it couldn't be great, or she wouldn't have come all the way to the teahouse to find him.
The thought of having to earn his own spending money made Zhongli desperately miss his old meal ticket.
I wonder when Tartaglia will visit Liyue again?
Ah, right. Relations between Liyue and Snezhnaya are extremely tense now. The Fatui are no longer welcome here. Looks like that meal ticket is gone for good.
"Hehe."
Hearing Zhongli's surrender, Hu Tao grinned triumphantly.
See? With just a little trick, even the great Consultant Zhongli is putty in my hands!
"I'm so pleased to see you're willing to help, Consultant Zhongli!"
"It's not much, really. All you need to do is hand out advertising flyers in the morning, solicit business in the afternoon, and give lectures to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's acolytes in the evening!"
Zhongli: "..."
Zhongli was utterly speechless. You call that 'not much'?!
I'm not the only consultant at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor! You can't just keep shearing the same sheep!
"I can try soliciting business and giving lectures. As for handing out flyers, that's not my forte. Director Hu Tao, you should find someone more suitable for that task."
"It's settled then!"
Zhongli watched Hu Tao's beaming face and instantly realized he'd been played.
Oh well, he thought. I'll just pull in a few clients and then go back to my retired life.
Even after realizing he'd been tricked, Zhongli wasn't particularly bothered. If he truly cared about such things, he would have bolted from the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor long ago.
"It's already afternoon," Hu Tao declared. "No time like the present! Let's head straight to Li Si's place, just two streets over."
"I heard Li Si's eldest son joined the Adventurer's Guild. He's a prime client! We have to secure him before anyone else does!"
"Consultant Zhongli, this is all on you! You have to perform well!"
Zhongli: "..."
Perhaps I should find a different place to lie low?
Zhongli gazed up at the sky, feeling mentally exhausted.
Meanwhile, Hu Tao was practically dragging him toward Li Si's house, brimming with confidence. With Zhongli's help, she was sure she'd close a deal today!
Hmm?
Suddenly, Zhongli noticed something and looked down.
Just ahead of them, a young man in tattered clothes was grinning at passersby on the street.
"Hey, boss! Want me to calculate your death date? I'm incredibly accurate!"
"Today's a rock-bottom sale! One reading for just 100 Mora! It's an absolute steal, I'm telling you! Round it down, and it's practically free!"
"So, what do you say, boss? Want a reading?"
"Hey, hey, don't walk away, boss!"
"How about this? I can tell you and I are destined to meet. I'll take a huge loss today—just 50 Mora! How's that?"
"I really can't go any lower! Any lower, and I'll have to pawn my underwear!"
"Come on, bosses, get a reading! Just one reading!"
-
Fontaine, Palais Mermonia.
Furina and Focalors—who finally had a physical body—stared at the report on the table. After a long moment, they both sighed.
It was worth noting that although the body was a replica of Furina's, Focalors' current form appeared more mature. She had specifically instructed Rene to make this adjustment, using the excuse that it would make them easier to tell apart. Her true intentions, however, were obvious.
Furina had protested vehemently, but since the body was already made, her objections were useless. She had no choice but to drop the matter.
"If Neuvillette doesn't get back soon, Fontaine is going to fall!"
Hearing Furina's words, the corner of Focalors' mouth twitched.
"That's a bit of an overstatement. It's just that a large number of Cult of the Dragon members have emerged in various cities, causing some disruption to the daily lives of Fontainians."
"The problem likely stems from the two of us. If we'd handled it properly, the situation probably wouldn't have become so severe."
At this, Furina immediately tried to shift the blame.
"How can you blame me? I'm just an actress! Governing a nation was completely forced on me! You're the Hydro Archon—you have to take full responsibility for this!"
Focalors: "?"
Seriously? she thought. We've been working together for so long, and you're only trying to pass the buck now? Isn't it a little late for that?
"Don't forget, you personally approved at least half of Fontaine's current decrees."
"And it was also your decision to leak the news that Neuvillette wasn't in the Fortress of Meropide."
Hearing Focalors' reminder, Furina immediately deflated. She slumped forward, resting her head on the table with a look of utter helplessness.
"What choice did I have?!"
"Last time, Ron volunteered as bait to lure out the Cult of the Dragon. We ambushed them, captured a bunch of their members, and Ron even managed to survive, albeit with some injuries."
"I thought those cultists would give up after that, but who knew they'd stoop to attacking a hospital?!"
"If Vinani hadn't been there to stop them, the casualties from that incident would have been unimaginable."
"With the conflict escalating, I was afraid Fontaine's hard-won peace would be shattered again."
"So I thought leaking the news about Neuvillette would make them back off."
"And they did back off... only to start causing trouble everywhere, claiming we forced Neuvillette to step down!"
The thought made Furina fume.
"Seriously, do they really think we want this job?!"
"The Hydro Archon... even a dog wouldn't want to be the Hydro Archon!"
Focalors took a deep breath, feeling insulted but lacking evidence. After all, she was no longer the Hydro Archon. By common understanding, that title now belonged to Neuvillette.
Just as Neuvillette reached the door, hand outstretched to push it open, he froze.
-
After the events in Sumeru concluded, Neuvillette had returned to Fontaine with Dottore as quickly as possible, while Clorinde had been sent back on her own.
Neuvillette had intended to resume his prison sentence, but upon arriving at the Fortress of Meropide, he learned that his "prison break" had become common knowledge throughout Fontaine.
Wriothesley then explained that during his absence, a group called the Cult of the Dragon had emerged. Its members were his fanatical followers who, upon hearing he was imprisoned in the Fortress of Meropide, had launched a suicidal jailbreak attempt, causing immense casualties.
They had also stirred up trouble elsewhere in Fontaine—all in his name.
Having only just left Fontaine, Neuvillette felt a whirlwind of emotions upon hearing this news.
He had been sympathizing with Sumeru for its recent catastrophe, but now... damn, Fontaine was in even worse shape!
Neuvillette didn't know what expression to wear. It seemed Fontaine would fall apart without him.
He quickly arranged for Dottore to be secretly imprisoned and treated at the Fortress of Meropide, then rushed to Fontaine without delay.
And that's when he overheard Furina's complaints.
Shaking his head, Neuvillette composed himself, pushed the door open, and stepped inside.
"Neuvillette!!!"
The moment Furina and Focalors saw him, they looked as if they'd just seen their savior. Their eyes shone with a brilliance so intense it was almost blinding.
In the next instant, Neuvillette found two pendants clinging to his legs—pendants that wouldn't stop wailing about their troubles. A shiver ran down his spine, and he was once again struck by the profound realization that Fontaine truly would collapse without him.
"Neuvillette, you're finally back!"
"Fontaine is saved!"
Neuvillette felt a wave of helplessness. Can't you two be a little more self-reliant? he thought.
They've really gotten used to being hands-off rulers, haven't they? Neuvillette thought. I've barely been gone, and they're already wailing like the sky is falling.
Especially when he saw Focalors, the feeling of being utterly screwed over resurfaced.
In the end, however, Neuvillette couldn't resist their relentless pleading. He let out a deep sigh and said, "Tell me everything that's happened while I was away."
"You got it!"