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There's an old saying that goes something like: 'When you dance with devils, you either burn or get kissed by fire.'
Just kidding, I have never heard of that saying in my life.
I wasn't sure which of the two applied to me last night.
The 'reward' Grayfia had given me was… well, you know what happened.
Anyways, it was so amazing that I didn't want to let go.
Morning sunlight poured through the window of my room at the Michinaga mansion, as I yawned and got up.
And as I got up, there was an unmistakable weight under the sheets beside me.
But before I could even process that, the door slid open with a soft click.
"Good morning, Daichi-bocchan," Sadako, my resident ghost maid said in her usual emotionless tone as she floated into the room, holding a neatly folded outfit. "You have your morning hygiene to attend to."
Following close behind her was Ophis, the Infinite Dragon God herself, except she was wearing one of my hoodies that was an oversized fit on her.
I don't know how she got it, but that wasn't a pressing issue, so I let it pass.
Ophis, however, tilted her head like a curious cat, eyes slowly scanning the room.
"…Devil," She said flatly.
"Morning, Ophis," I blinked. "And, Devil?"
Oh, she meant Grayfia.
Ophis sniffed the air again, then without hesitation, walked over to the bed, grabbed the blanket, and yanked it upward like a child unwrapping a Christmas present.
And there she was, Grayfia Lucifuge, the strongest Queen of the Underworld, blinking awake with a faint blush painting her cheeks.
"Oh." I said. "Good morning… Lady Grayfia."
"...Good morning, Daichi-san," Grayfia replied, perfectly composed despite the faint color in her face.
She slipped out of bed with calm dignity, and promptly vanished into a Telportation Circle.
-flash!-
And then suddenly reappeared, but fully clean, and also wearing her usual maid outfit.
Wow, that's some cool magic.
[Not bad, host. You really have quite the refined taste.] Inside my head, I heard Asterion's deep, echoing voice cheering me on.
Thanks, Asterion.
Hmmnn... Let me try that thing that Grayfia just did, but without the Teleport circle.
I quickly wrote a formula using magic to interact with moisture in the air, spinning a water spell, a cleaning spell that targeted bacteria, a revolving spell, and a drying spell that combined into a singular format, and then used it.
-swooosh!-
As light washed over me, I was suddenly cleaned in record time, and now stood perfectly washed, dried, and clean like I'd have the typical hour-long shower.
One thing though...
"Clothes?" Sadako asked.
I'm still naked.
"Oh, that."
Sadako then briefly helped me put on my clothes. I could do it myself, but what was the point of having all of this opulence if I wasn't going to use it?
After that, Ophis just stared at me for a while. Then, like she'd suddenly remembered something, she said, "I have a gift for you."
"A gift?" I asked curiously.
"Yes," she said, staring right into my eyes. "But I will give it to you after breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."
"You haven't even been here for a solid week, and you're already saying that?" I chuckled, hearing what she said.
"Yes."
-slam!-
Before I could retort to Ophis' lack of logic, the door slammed open.
"Daichi! You didn't forget about me, did you!?" In strutted Roygun Belphegor, all pink hair and curves that defied logic.
"Ah... The freeloader returns..." Sadako deadpanned.
Roygun gasped dramatically, putting a hand over her chest. "How cruel! I just came back from a job, you know! Daichi's task for me!"
I sighed, thinking briefly about the guild I planned to start, and the businesses other than the trading, investment, and real estate that I had a currently absent Sebas look after.
It would be mostly humans, but I've got nothing against a bunch of supernatural oddballs working together.
Especially the edge of the Gremory territories, there's actually a bunch of Humans, Hybrids, and Devils who are all fodder level just living normal lives in The Underworld.
In addition to folks from the Human World, I'm sure that I could get something done with these guys, like a real grassroots org if you catch my drift.
Roygun sauntered closer, leaning on my shoulder with a teasing grin. "Looks like Grayfia's been making moves, huh~?"
Grayfia, now fully dressed and immaculate as ever, glanced at her calmly. "If you are implying misconduct, then I suggest you refrain. I am simply… supervising."
Roygun giggled. "Oh~ supervising, right. I bet the Maou and little Miss Gremory would love that report."
Grayfia's face didn't move a muscle, remaining perfectly stoic, like a Moai statue. Even Sadako seemed to shiver slightly beside her after taking in her maid-ly aura.
"Impossible... Her maid-ly aura is competing with mine..." Sadako muttered. "It's almost on my level..."
I gave Sadako a deadpan stare as I processed the absolute bullshit that Sadako started to say.
-flash!-
But before I could even process that statement, another teleportation circle glowed in the corner of the room.
"Who's next?" I wondered.
From the light popped out Kuroka, wearing a cat-like grin as she launched herself straight at me, arms wrapping around my torso.
"Nyahahaha~! Daichi~! I just came back from my sleepover with Shirone~!" she purred. "We finally had a heart-to-heart talk! I think we're getting closer again---"
Then she paused, eyes darting around the room. Grayfia. Ophis. Roygun. Sadako.
A grin spread across her face like wildfire. "Ara-ara, Daichi~ Having a morning harem meeting without me, nya?"
"Well, don't worry, nya! I will be your faithful harem manager!"
-knock, knock-
Before I could say something, there was another knock at the door.
"Daichi-kun~ may I come in?"
Oh, my...
Akeno Himejima stepped inside, her usual teasing smile already in place. She took one look at the chaotic scene before her and immediately covered her mouth, hiding a chuckle.
"Fufufu~ Grayfia-san~ Is this part of your duties in helping Rias?"
If Grayfia's face from before was stoic, then this one was simply unshakeable. She's not losing any staring battles anytime soon, let me tell you that.
-slam!-
"Daichi-sama!"
Another visitor!?
Sebas burst in, carrying papers and looking unusually excited. "I've completed the preparations for our project! We can begin today!"
He stopped, took in the sight of Ophis, Grayfia, Roygun, Sadako, Kuroka, and Akeno all standing in one room. Then promptly began to cry.
"I'm so proud!" Sebas sobbed. "The chances of you leaving behind progeny are finally increasing!"
"Sebas."
"Yes, bocchan?"
"For barging in like this... You'll be fired for the next ten minutes."
"Understood, my lord." He bowed, still crying tears of joy.
And then, as if the universe wanted to make sure my sanity didn't survive the morning, the door creaked open again.
Riku, my old friend from the orphanage, skinny, glasses, black hair, and perpetually tired eyes, walked in.
"Dude, you're not gonna believe this!" Riku shouted. "All the mythologies on Earth are real! Norse, Greek, Japanese, Abrahamic! They're real!
"Also, I think my girlfriend is a Yuki-onna, but also a gorilla?"
He looked at everyone, then he looked at me.'
And I also looked at everyone, and then looked at him.
"You want to explain what you just said?" I asked, hearing about yuki-onnas and gorillas.
"Uh, after you?" Riku asked as he looked around. "It looks like a cosplay convention in here!"
"Or maybe it isn't..." He looked at me as if he was a detective(a bald one) trying to figure out if the person in front of him was secretly some kind of notorious serial killer.
-knock, knock-
"Umm..." Another voice could be heard as they walked into the room. "Well, I got this maid outfit from Sadako-san, so I wore it, I guess?"
In walked Valerie, the girl I yoinked from the Vampires way back then, and then helped to save her broken soul.
She still needed some more help, so she's currently staying here.
Riku looked at me, and I looked at him.
"Hey."
"Yes, Riku?"
"I won't ask why, but can you teach me how to do it?"
"Shut up, Riku."
"Okay."
"caw! caw! greetings! I offer my greatest thanks, master daichi! I have returned from siring progeny! they will soon blot out the skies! and reign over other winged abominable creations made by the deceased deity! Praise be to master daichi!"
Daigo, my enhanced crow, flew in, giving me some kind of trinket.
"I see."
[What a day, you surely have a busy life ahead of you, host.]
Today was turning out to be rather lively.
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-Later that day-
Breakfast that morning had been… lively.
And by lively, I mean absolute, chaos.
Roygun had insisted on making eggs, and then immediately burned them.
Ophis somehow managed to drink an entire bottle of syrup before eating the pancakes.
Kuroka kept stealing food from everyone's plates, while Sebas tried to recite an inspirational speech about family unity.
Even Grayfia had joined us, as Sadako had to follow her lead as she prepared breakfast and tea.
It was crazy, but I liked it.
In a way, this could be my nakama.
After breakfast, I found myself standing in the middle of a massive, renovated warehouse near the outskirts of Kuoh.
It used to be an abandoned storage facility, dust, rats, rusted beams, with the whole 'post-apocalyptic base' aesthetic. But
now, thanks to Sebas' management and a few well-placed magic sigils, it had been transformed.
And with the help of Roygun's intelligence networks and agencies, I'd soon have a running start for my little ol' guild.
The high ceiling shimmered faintly with a barrier spell, as the concrete floors had been cleaned and engraved with magic circles, and several training dummies stood lined up along one wall.
A wide steel table sat in the center, surrounded by chairs that looked like a place where something important would be born.
My place. No? Our place.
The start of something independent.
Before anything else, though…
I sat cross-legged on the floor and activated [Ero-Crest].
-
[Ero Crest]
[Body Manipulation]
[Hypnosis]
[Time-Stop]
[Sensitivity Manipulation]
-
I used [Body Manipulation] to subsume the DNA I got from Riser.
"Alright," I murmured. "Let's see what this bird has to offer."
Also, I hope he enjoys my gift.
The moment I activated it and absorbed it, I felt it. A rush of molten energy coursing through my veins, burning hot but never painful, like a living sun within my veins, igniting under my skin.
Hellfire flared across my hand, bright orange-gold that turned a reddish-black(edgy lol).
Then came the regenerative pulse, that fabled Phenex Regeneration.
-pull-
With a swift motion, I grabbed onto my arm and ripped it off completely, socket, bone, everything.
The arm in my hand and the blood spurting out turned into dark flames as it evaporated, and flames burst from my empty arm socket as it quickly took the form of an arm, and voila~ My arm is back, and perfectly fine.
Something I wouldn't have done if I were a few points saner, but nevertheless, it had to be done.
[Impressive, host. The combat potential of this ability of yours is insanely absurd!] Asterion cheered.
"...Yeah, it's ridiculous," I muttered. "No wonder Risa-er, was so goddamned cocky. With this kind of power, you probably would be a little hoity-toity."
Asterion chuckled faintly in my mind.
[Or if he ever used his brain, host.]
"True. But he did the best with what he had."
The next infusion came from Roygun, or more specifically, her [Crack] ability.
The DNA shimmered purple before dissolving into me, flooding my senses with energy that felt like snapping tension made solid.
A power that creates tears/ cracks in things provided that they were weaker than the user, and could fracture matter, magic, and even space if I pushed it far enough.
It was chaotic. Dangerous. Perfect, even.
Now I stood there, surrounded by echoes of my new abilities, feeling like a mix between a scientist, a sorcerer, and a madman.
"…Alright," I said aloud, looking at the empty logo space on the wall. "Now comes the hard part."
Naming the damn thing.
I started pacing around the building.
"Diamond Dogs? Nah, that's too on-the-nose…"
"Outer Heaven? Tempting, but… people would think I'm building an evil empire."
"FOXHOUND? No. I don't even have foxes. Kuroka is a Nekomata, but that's more like cats, instead..."
"The Extraordinary League of Beautiful Heroines and One Mage? When I start doing porn, I think of this name for one of my films..."
"You know what, how about EXCEED? It sounds edgy enough, plus I like it."
Eventually, I just flopped down in the main chair, staring up at the ceiling.
"I'll come up with it later," I muttered. "Something that sounds… right. Something that fits."
That was when I heard soft footsteps behind me.
"Daichi~" came Roygun's sing-song voice.
She leaned against one of the tables, arms crossed under her chest, looking every bit the bombshell she was. Her wavy pink hair that was braided hung over one shoulder, eyes a vivid violet full of mischief.
Today she wore a short black jacket over a crimson tank top and leather pants, and did I mention that she had horns?
That's right, she's one of the only pure-blooded Devils that's got horns!
"I like what you've done with the place," she said with a grin. "Are you planning something mischievous?"
"Thanks, I think," I replied. "But yes, technically I am."
"Good day," Across from her sat Valerie Tepes, who sat politely.
Her long silvery-blonde hair fell like moonlight over her shoulders, and her crimson eyes shone with new life.
She now wore a modest white dress with a small crimson ribbon tied at the collar, and a red jacket over it
The true meaning of simple, yet elegant.
"Alright," I said, brushing my coat off. "We've got a good start. A base. A team. And now…"
Roygun tilted her head. "Now what?"
"Now we go pick up a new recruit." I smiled. "I have my eyes a certain someone who's been going through rough waters with the Church."
"We'll go and pick her up today."
"Alright!" Roygun's grin widened. "Who is it this time? Another pretty girl, for a healthy young man like yourself?"
"Maybe," I said vaguely. "You'll see soon enough."
"Okay, so, what do I do?" Valerie looked up at me, blinking softly.
-pat, pat-
I reached over and gently patted her head as her eyes widened slightly — then softened into the faintest of smiles.
"You're here to get used to being up and about, and not having a completely broken soul," I said. "You'll make new memories here, too, Valerie. Ones that aren't filled with pain."
"…Daichi," Valerie murmured with a voice fragile but warm. "Thank you."
"Don't worry, though. I will put you to work soon enough." I reminded her.
"Looks like Daichi-bocchan is really kind, huh?" Roygun smiled at the sight.
Yeah, I got that average protagonist 'yasashi/kindness' that all the girls go wild over.
So we got a young guy with Hentai powers, an exiled noble of Devil society, and a Dhampir girl with a broken(?) soul...
Yeah, we really are a protagonist group, alright....
But for a comedy series.
Anyways, First group assignment, start---!
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Next Chapter: 045: Ecchi Young Woman's Original Draft "Why Am I Reincarnated Into DxD!? And Why Am I Hung!?" (WHAT-IF)
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Trivia Time! (Againx44!!)
Did you know(ofc)
Valerie Tepes is the first female Longinus wielder introduced in the story.
And Roygun has an extensive intelligence network that collects information on her behalf, as she was shown to obtain information before even members of DxD, such as the information of the newly-manifested Longinus.
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