AN: Hi everyone! A bit late, but better than never!!!
Here is the latest update for this fic!
This chapter is also quite hard to write... I didn't even remember just how many times I made revisions just to make it feel closer to what I hope it will portray.
I also hope I was able to properly show the growth of Hachiman and Kikyo here.
So I hope you guys will like this chapter, I really did my best here!
Please you comments, I would love to read what you think.
See you tomorrow!
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Deserted Island, Hachiman's Home Planet…
Hikigaya Hachiman—Phantom Thief Joker, the hero who saved his home world from the threat of Nyx, the Shadow Monarch, Messiah, the man revered as the Strongest Nameless, the hero who 'defeated' the Third Herrscher, Father of the Dragon God, True Hero of the DesuMachi planet, Slayer of the Demon Lord Undead King Zen, and many more.
This unrivaled man, who had saved countless people and earned the admiration of many, was currently… feeling completely defeated.
Yes, in just a single day… the most powerful man had tasted defeat… three times.
Not by Shadows. Not by Persona users. Not by Honkai. Not by the Abyss. Not by Pathstriders, Emanators, or Aeons. Not even by the two people he recognized as his equals—Noah Alden and Hajime Nagumo.
He was defeated by two maidens in love… and by his own desires.
And so, this unrivaled hero lay on a small bed, half‑naked with only his underwear on, staring at the ceiling for the past half hour while contemplating his life… and his choices.
Beside him was an equally half‑naked beautiful girl. The only clothing she still wore was her lower underwear, and she had wrapped herself around his arm, using it as a pillow while she slept. Her soft, rhythmic breaths brushed against his bare chest, tickling slightly. Her expression was peaceful, relaxed… and completely satisfied.
'...I can't believe we actually did that.'
Hachiman let out a long, defeated sigh.
"..Hmmm… Hachiman.."
Perhaps feeling his slight movement, the girl—Kushida Kikyo—murmured his name in her sleep.
Hachiman glanced at her, thinking she might have woken up. But judging from the rhythm of her breathing, she was still asleep. Most likely exhausted from what they had done not long ago.
Since he had already turned toward her, his eyes naturally traced her figure again.
From her cute sleeping face, to the delicate line of her collarbone… her soft chest rising gently with each breath… her slim waist… the curve of her hips… and finally her smooth thighs that he had been holding just moments earlier.
'Seriously… no wonder so many guys fall for her,' he thought. 'She's as beautiful as Honami… and as cute as Arisu.'
"Uggh–"
Kikyo suddenly shivered lightly, her face scrunching as if she felt something uncomfortable.
'Ah…'
Realizing she might be feeling cold—with both of them still half‑naked—Hachiman slowly reached down toward the floor. After a bit of awkward stretching, he managed to grab the discarded tracksuit jacket.
Carefully, so as not to wake her, he placed it over her body.
Soon her expression relaxed again. The small wrinkle between her brows faded.
Hachiman nodded to himself. He brushed aside the strands of hair covering her forehead.
But when his eyes went downward, he couldn't help but grimace. There were white stains on her belly. The sight made a complicated mix of emotions rise inside his chest.
Shame.
Helplessness.
Guilt.
And many more he didn't want to name.
'At least… I still had enough sense left not to cross the final line,' he thought.
He reached for the tissues on the small side table and carefully wiped the stains on her so she wouldn't wake up to see them later.
"…How am I supposed to explain this to Mei… Ruan Mei… and Honami?"
Hachiman sighed again to himself. The guilt settled heavily in his chest. He had just made his relationship with Honami official… and yet here he was.
No matter how he looked at it, there was no denying it. He had betrayed them.
Yes, Kikyo had a special place in his heart. After getting to know this 'fake' girl who simply longed to be genuine, he couldn't help but accept her. Her kind side, her ugly side, her hardworking side, her darkness… every part of her was something Hachiman had already chosen to accept.
He knew that Kikyo harbored feelings for him. The way she would get jealous whenever Honami, Arisu, or the other girls grew close to him made that obvious. With her spoiled and possessive nature… There were even times when he could feel a strong yandere aura coming from her.
But Hachiman also knew where all of it came from. It was born from her fear of being abandoned. Her dependence on him was clear as day. For Kikyo, being Hachiman's number one didn't matter. As long as she could remain by his side, that alone was enough for her.
And that was exactly what Hachiman feared.
He didn't want Kikyo to lower herself like that. He wanted her to value herself more. He wanted her to see that she had worth beyond simply clinging to someone else.
But with Kikyo's twisted sense of self, she believed that someone as 'mediocre' as her could never compete with people like Honami, Arisu, or Suzune. That inferiority complex was the very reason her obsession with being liked by everyone had begun in the first place.
Hachiman had been trying to correct that distorted view of herself for the past months; luckily, there had been real progress. That was why her unfair resentment toward Suzune had begun to fade. That was why she had been able to form a genuine bond with Wang Meiyu in her class.
But it still wasn't enough…
Her actions today proved that her fear of being left behind was still as strong as ever. Most likely, when she saw how close he and Honami had been earlier, it triggered something inside her. She unconsciously tried to secure a definite bond with him—something that the others wouldn't be able to break so easily.
'Haa… if only I still had the Meta‑Nav app. I could just infiltrate Kikyo's Palace and deal with this properly… but of course I don't.'
Hachiman let out another sigh.
Because of ANHS rules, students weren't allowed to bring anything with them on admission day aside from the clothes they were wearing. That meant his old phone had been left behind with Komachi and Morgana.
And on top of that, his powers were practically sealed while he was in this meme body of his. Aside from his abnormal physical strength, everything else was inaccessible. His Persona abilities, his Shadow Monarch powers, even his Pathstrider abilities—none of them could be used.
Although… if he had an Evoker, he might be able to access a limited portion of his Persona abilities.
'Should I contact Mitsuru and request one…?' he wondered.
But after thinking about it for a moment, he shook his head internally.
'No… that wouldn't actually solve Kikyo's problem. It wouldn't clear the Shadow inside her.'
While he was still thinking about possible ways to deal with Kikyo's distortion, the girl beside him stirred in her sleep.
"Hmm… Hachiman?"
"Ah… Kikyo? You're awake?"
Kikyo slowly opened her eyes and looked around the room. When her eyes landed on Hachiman, the memories of what had just happened came rushing back all at once.
Her cheeks instantly turned bright red.
She hurriedly tried to hide her face, but with only the tracksuit jacket and her underwear as the clothes she currently had on, the only thing she could use to cover herself was her own hands.
From the gaps of her fingers, she shyly peeked at Hachiman's face.
"How are you feeling? Any pain or discomfort?"
"No, I… I feel fine."
Kikyo smiled when she heard the concern in his voice.
"In fact… I've never felt this refreshed before."
"…That's good."
A comfortable silence settled between them. Aside from Kikyo's soft, satisfied hum, nothing disturbed the room.
'I wish this moment could last forever.'
But her wish… was about to fall apart.
"Kikyo, we need to talk."
"Hmm?"
"We need to clear up what just happened—what we just did."
"Huh?"
Kikyo blinked and looked at Hachiman in surprise. The seriousness in his voice caught her completely off guard. She had never heard that tone from him in a moment like this.
And for some reason… she suddenly felt that something bad was about to happen.
"Ehh… is there really something we need to talk about?"
She forced a smile as she spoke, but the nervousness in her chest made it stiff and unnatural.
"You don't need to pretend you don't understand."
Hachiman shook his head and let out a sigh for the nth time.
"Even if we didn't cross the final line… we almost did. And that's not something we can just pretend never happened—"
He met her eyes directly as he continued.
"—I know I could have stopped before things went that far, but I didn't. I know my responsibility to you… to Honami… to Arisu. This happened because I lost control… and because I desired you. That's why…"
The bad feeling in her chest finally arrived.
No.
No, no, no.
Despite the panic rising inside her, Kikyo forced her expression to remain bright, relying on the years she had spent perfecting that smile.
"Hehehehe! Geez, and here I thought it was something serious! So it's only that?"
She tried to brush it off with a laugh.
But her voice betrayed her.
"You don't need to worry about that, you know? I'm fine with whatever place I can have… as long as I can stay with you!"
The way she smiled hurt Hachiman. Because, just as he had feared, Kikyo was throwing herself away simply to remain by his side.
"Kik—"
"No, no, I've already thought about it! I really did!"
Kikyo shook her head rapidly.
"If you really feel guilty, I'll personally talk to Ichinose‑san! Or even to Sakayanagi‑san! I'll tell them everything about how I feel! I'll explain that none of this was your fault!"
"No…"
"It was my selfishness that led to this!"
Her words tumbled out in a rush, as if pausing for even a moment would allow his rejection to slip through.
"So you don't need to worry about anything! I'll even assure them that I'm not trying to steal you from them!"
She forced out another laugh, though her voice was clearly shaking.
"Kikyo…"
"I mean, they're both reasonable girls, right? I'm sure they'll understand!"
Hachiman opened his mouth again.
"Kikyo, please—listen—"
"I'll tell them all I need is just a little of your time!"
Her fingers tightened around his arm.
"I'll even ask them how often it's okay for me to see you!"
She kept talking quickly, almost breathlessly.
"O-once a week might be too much, right? Hmm… then maybe… maybe once a month!"
Her smile trembled.
"O-or even once every few months would be fine too!"
Her voice grew smaller.
"As long as I can still see you sometimes…"
Before she realized it, tears were already sliding down her cheeks as she kept speaking.
"I'll behave myself, I promise! I won't get jealous, and I won't cause trouble for them!"
"No… Kikyo—"
"I'll even avoid you at school if that makes things easier!" she hurried on.
"I can pretend nothing happened! I'm good at pretending, after all!"
She let out a weak, shaky laugh.
"Ahh… b‑but… I just hope they won't say something like once a year."
She leaned closer, gripping his arm tightly as if he might disappear at any moment.
"Because I think… I might cry if they did…"
Her shoulders trembled softly.
"Kikyo, listen—" Hachiman gritted his teeth, trying to interrupt her.
"But even then… even then I'll still wait!"
Her grip on him tightened desperately.
"So please don't leave me! Don't abandon me!"
Her voice finally broke.
"All I want is to become part of your life… no matter how small!"
She grabbed his hands and pressed them against her tear‑stained cheeks. The warmth from his palms was the only thing keeping Kikyo from completely falling apart… the only proof that she still had a chance to stay beside him.
"Because I know that Hachiman will be there for me… I can bravely face Ryuen‑kun's threats!"
Hachiman's expression changed instantly.
"Ryuen… threats?"
His voice hardened.
"What did that guy tell you?"
Kikyo's eyes widened at her slip.
"T‑that's not important right now!"
She shook her head quickly, panic flashing across her face.
"I can handle it! You don't have to worry about that!"
But Hachiman didn't move.
His gaze sharpened.
"Kikyo… what did that guy do to you?"
The way he said it made her shoulders tremble.
"What matters right now is that you don't leave me!"
But she still refused to answer. Instead, she kept going—desperately trying to 'sell' herself to him.
"I don't care if you treat me as a mistress… a pet… or even a slave!"
The words came out broken and desperate.
"I… I… I can't afford to lose you!"
Her hands trembled as they gripped the front of his shirt.
"Please… stay with me!"
Her voice was barely holding together now.
"Please… just let me be yours!"
She looked up at him through tear‑filled eyes, completely exposed.
No mask.
No cheerful Kushida Kikyo.
Just a girl terrified of being abandoned.
"Because you…"
Her voice shook.
"Because you're my real thing!"
—---
Hachiman stared at the crying, begging girl in front of him. Even though he was still worried about Ryuen threatening Kikyo, that could wait. What he needed to do right now… was save Kikyo from herself.
"Please… Hachiman… stay…"
His heart felt like it was being torn apart as he heard her pleading voice. She had lowered her own value so much just to remain beside the person she considered her real thing.
'Is… is this what Mei, Arisu, Honami, Mana, Ann, Yukino felt when they heard my self‑deprecation…? When I lowered myself just to efficiently save the day…?'
Hachiman's expression tightened as memories of his old self‑destructive methods surfaced.
'I… feel like a real scumbag right now.'
His hands curled into fists until his knuckles turned white.
'I made them feel this pain… just to satisfy my own way of doing things!'
If Hachiman had hated himself before, he hated himself even more now. He had inflicted that unbearable pain on the people he loved—the people he considered his real thing—because he believed only he should be the one to get hurt. That only he had the right to suffer.
Everything for the sake of his stupid ego.
'No… no!'
'I've changed now!'
'Ever since I faced my own Shadow, I have already rebelled against that stupid fate!'
'No matter what happens, I'm going to claim my share of happiness!'
He reaffirmed his resolve.
'And besides… Mei taught me that it's okay to reach out and take the happiness I find, not just admire it from afar.'
'Honami made me understand that just like I yearn for them… they yearn for me too.'
He looked once more at the crying girl in his arms. In her, he could see the shadow of his past self overlapping with Kikyo.
'I have to save this girl. I have to save her from herself.'
'I need her to understand something…'
If she truly wanted to grasp her happiness—if she wanted to fully experience the joy that came from her "real thing"… then first—
She had to learn that she deserved it.
Before she could accept love…
She had to value herself enough to receive it.
Hachiman forcefully pulled Kikyo away from him.
"..NOO..!!!"
Kikyo struggled desperately, trying to cling to him again, but Hachiman used his full strength to hold her back.
"Ah…!"
The moment she was separated from him, her entire body felt cold. The world she had desperately been clinging to… seemed to shatter in an instant.
"Kikyo, it's time to wake up from that fragile dream."
He leaned forward slightly as he spoke, his eyes locked firmly onto hers.
"It's time for you to embrace your happiness in the real world."
Then Hachiman pulled her close and kissed her.
Not out of desire.
Not out of impulse.
But with firm resolve.
A promise.
And a declaration.
He would never allow Kikyo to build her happiness on her own self-destruction.
—---
"Mhmm…"
"…mm."
Hachiman slowly pulled away.
For a moment, the small room at the top of the lighthouse fell completely silent.
Kikyo's eyes were wide open. Her mind had completely stopped working. The tears that had been falling down her cheeks halted as she tried to understand what had just happened.
"H–Hachiman…?"
Her voice trembled.
She couldn't understand.
Her thoughts were in complete disarray. Just moments ago she had been preparing herself to be rejected.
To be abandoned.
To be thrown away like she had always feared.
But instead—
Hachiman had kissed her.
"Kikyo."
She froze when she heard the way he said her name.
It was gentle.
So gentle that her chest tightened.
She could clearly hear the care, the affection, and the worry in his voice.
"I will never abandon you."
His voice was firm and unshakable.
"Didn't I tell you that day? That I would accept every part of you. Your ugly side. Your kind side. Even that unreasonable side of yours.... I accepted all of it."
Hachiman gently held her shoulders, making sure she was looking straight at him.
"That's why it hurts… it hurts so much to see you throwing pieces of yourself away like that."
Hachiman scowled at the thought.
"I… I can't. I will never accept a version of you that throws herself away just to stay beside me."
Kikyo's pupils trembled. Her lips parted slightly.
"…Eh?"
"If you think lowering yourself like that will let you stay with me…"
Hachiman bit his lip.
"…Then that version of you isn't the Kushida Kikyo I like."
Kikyo gasped when she heard that. Her trembling hands rose to cover her mouth.
"T‑the K–Kikyo… y‑you… like…?"
Hachiman's eyes softened when he saw the disbelief in her expression.
"Yes. The Kikyo that I like… wouldn't be the same person if she did something like that."
He gently placed his hands on her cheeks as he continued.
"She works harder than anyone to keep Class D together."
"She smiles for everyone… even when she's the one hurting the most."
"She stands strong so everyone else can believe they still have a chance to turn things around."
"That girl—the one I like and admire—is not someone who should beg to be treated like a pet or a slave!"
Kikyo's shoulders trembled.
"I… I…"
"You said I'm your real thing."
Hachiman's voice trembled.
"…You idiot."
He gently bumped his forehead against hers.
"Why didn't you realize that you're my real thing too?"
Kikyo froze.
"Did you really think I could have a relationship with the person I care about, who believes she's only worth scraps?"
His voice became smaller.
"If I allowed that… then I'd just be repeating the same mistake I used to make."
Her eyes widened again.
"The self-destructive way I used to solve problems. The version of me that hurt the people I cared about."
He shook his head.
"I already rejected that version of myself… So I'm not going to accept it from you either!"
Kikyo's lips trembled.
"But… but if I don't do that…"
Her voice cracked again.
"…you might leave me."
Hachiman wrapped an arm around her slim waist and pulled her closer.
"...Do you really think I'm that kind of shallow person? That I would abandon someone I accepted with my heart like that? Do you really believe the Hikigaya Hachiman that Kushida Kikyo likes is such a fickle man?"
"NOOO!!! My Hachiman would never do that!!!"
Kikyo shouted immediately, glaring at him as if offended by the very idea.
"My Hachiman is a kind and gentle person… someone who would even accept a worthless girl like me!!"
Seeing the spark of life return to her eyes, Hachiman felt both relieved and happy.
"I won't forgive anyone who says otherwise! Even if that person is you."
A small grin appeared on Hachiman's lips.
"Then if you truly want to stand beside me…"
He looked straight into her eyes.
"Stand there as the complete Kushida Kikyo. Not as someone who throws pieces of herself away."
Kikyo's breathing stopped for a moment as tears began to gather in her eyes again.
"…So until the day you can truly believe that you deserve happiness—"
Hachiman finished softly.
"I won't let you give yourself to me like that."
His words hung in the air.
For a moment, nothing moved.
Then Kikyo's lips slowly parted.
"…You're… really unfair."
Her voice was small and fragile.
"You rejected me… but you won't let me leave either."
Her shoulders began to shake.
"You won't accept the way I offer myself…"
Her fingers slowly tightened around the jacket he had placed on her earlier.
"But you also won't let me disappear."
Tears began to spill down her face.
But this time there was no desperation. No panic. Just overwhelming emotion.
"…You're really cruel, Hachiman."
A weak laugh escaped her. Because for the first time, someone had refused to accept the version of her that she hated the most. Someone had looked straight at her twisted self and said no.
Her strength finally gave out.
She collapsed forward.
Hachiman barely had time to react before Kikyo buried her face in his chest, her fingers curling weakly.
And then she cried—not the desperate sobbing from earlier. Not the broken screams of someone terrified of being abandoned.
But the small, trembling sobs of someone who had been holding everything inside for far too long.
"Hic… Hachiman… I'm scared."
Hachiman didn't say anything. He simply held her tighter.
"…I don't know how to believe that I deserve something like that."
She slowly lifted her head until her eyes met his.
"But… I want to try."
With a trembling voice, she said the words that would remain burned into his memory.
"…So don't look away from me."
Her voice still trembled, but this time it carried a hope.
"Stay there. Until the day I can believe it too."
Hachiman smiled and repeated the same words he had told her the day he first accepted her.
"…For you?"
He flashed her a small grin.
"Always."
A familiar chime rang in Hachiman's mind.
I am thou… thou art I…
The bond thou hast nurtured hath finally matured.
The innermost power of the Moon Arcana hath been set free.
We bestow upon thee the ability to call Sandalphon,
The ultimate form of the Moon Arcana.
======