Lucifer and Maze appeared in a chaotic city choked with violence and death. Screams echoed in the distance, fires burned unchecked, and destruction stretched as far as the eye could see. Lucifer slowly turned in place, taking it all in, before grimacing.
"Oh shit," he said, glancing down at himself and then at Maze. "Look, Maze. We look like cartoon characters."
Maze frowned, lifting her hands and inspecting her body from every angle. "This is fucking weird." She looked back up at the ruined skyline. "Anyway, where are we?"
Lucifer grinned and cheerfully said. "We're in another version of Hell. One where people sing… for some reason."
Maze deadpanned. "Great." She cracked her neck. "So where are we going first?"
Lucifer raised his wrist and checked the watch, his expression sharpening as he read the glowing display. "Well, according to the information from the watch, at the end of the week my other self's daughter is going to come under attack from some angels. And my other self won't arrive until the last possible moment."
He scoffed, shaking his head. "I'm all for being late to a party, but if my child is on the line, I'd be there bright and early. So shame on the other me."
Lucifer's lips curled into a grin as he glanced back at the watch. "That said, the watch recommends we crash a court hearing. Ordinarily, I wouldn't listen to anyone, but this little thing was programmed to assist me in having as much fun as possible."
Maze raised an eyebrow. "I don't know what kind of fun we're gonna have at a court case," she said, already stepping forward, "but let's go."
-----
Blitzo was chained to the ground before six of the seven Deadly Sins and the Ars Goetia, his wrists bound in restraints as he knelt at the center of the chamber, waiting for them to decide his fate.
Suddenly, the massive doors flew open with a thunderous crash.
Two humans stepped inside.
At the interruption, Satan rose from his throne, wings flaring slightly as his voice boomed across the chamber. "What is the meaning of this?"
Lucifer stepped forward casually, hands in his pockets, unfazed by the hostile stares. "Oh, sorry for interrupting, but I do believe that cases like these require all seven Deadly Sins to attend."
He straightened slightly, a faint smirk forming. "Sin of Pride, Lucifer Morningstar, reporting for duty."
Mammon snorted loudly, leaning forward on his throne. "You ain't Lucifer. We all know him personally. You look nothing like him."
Lucifer's smile vanished.
In the next instant, he let his power loose.
It washed over the room like a collapsing star, forcing everyone present to feel as if the entire building were folding in on itself. Thrones cracked, the air screamed under the pressure, and even the Sins stiffened as instinctive fear clawed at them.
Just as abruptly, Lucifer reeled it back in.
"Yes," he said calmly, dusting imaginary lint from his coat, "I am not your Lucifer. But I am a Lucifer. You see, I recently acquired the ability to travel the multiverse and popped over here for some fun."
His gaze hardened. "But I heard that my other self is slacking in his duties, so I've come to assume his role till he gets his shit together."
Satan's eyes widened slowly. After a tense pause, he exhaled. "Not a single word of that was a lie. Either you're crazy… or you really are another Lucifer."
He gestured toward the throne with a sharp nod. "And after that display of strength, I'm inclined to believe the latter. Take your seat, Sin of Pride."
Mammon scowled. "Wait, can he do that? I mean, even if he is another Lucifer, he isn't our Lucifer."
Asmodeus rolled his eyes. "Seriously? You think we have a rule for this?"
Beelzebub shrugged. "Yeah. What's the harm in it?"
Lucifer smoothly took the Sin of Pride's throne, settling into it as if he'd always belonged there. "Okay," he said, crossing his legs. "So what are we doing here?"
Satan gestured sharply toward Blitzo. "This imp is guilty of traveling to the human world to commit assassinations."
Lucifer tilted his head, intrigued. "Oh, that's certainly unique. Not new, but it doesn't happen often. Points for creativity. But seeing how you got caught, I have to take some points away."
He leaned forward. "Tell me you at least had a human disguise."
Blitzo winced. "Funny story. I don't actually know how to use that spell."
The Sins groaned in unison. Asmodeus and Beelzebub, the only ones trying to save Blitzo, both facepalmed hard.
"You're kidding, right?" Lucifer snapped. "Humans can't be allowed proof of the afterlife, you idiot. It makes the whole system pointless. If they know there's a Hell, they'll all flock to church and suddenly start becoming devout believers."
He waved a hand dismissively. "It'll throw off the balance of everything."
"Exactly!" Satan smacked his armrest. "We have rules for a reason."
Beelzebub hesitated. "He killed everyone that saw him, at least. Doesn't that count for something?"
"Hardly," Mammon scoffed.
"Before this spirals into pointless bickering," Lucifer said smoothly, "I have to ask: how effective are you as an assassin… whatever your name is?"
"It's Blitz, sir," Blitzo said quickly. "The 'o' is silent. And not to toot my own horn, but I've never failed to kill someone."
Lucifer glanced at Satan.
"He's telling the truth," Satan admitted. "Most of his jobs resulted in a lot of collateral damage, but he always got the target."
"So a hundred percent success rate," Lucifer mused. "Alright."
He smiled. "Then here's my suggestion, Blitzo."
"It's Blitz," Blitzo corrected again.
"I don't care," Lucifer replied flatly. "The punishment I suggest is that you assist the Hazbin Hotel in fighting off the angel army that will attack in two days."
"The fucking what?" Satan barked.
"Now hold the Hell up," Mammon said. "That's Charlie's hotel. If they attack it, they'll be violating the contract."
"What part?" Satan demanded.
"The part where they're sworn not to harm any Hellborn," Mammon shot back. "Charlie is Hellborn, and they're attacking her directly."
Satan's lips curled into an evil grin. "Is that so? Good. I've wanted an excuse to swat those pigeons out of the sky."
He glanced at Lucifer. "No offense, Luci."
"Oh, none taken," Lucifer said cheerfully. "By all means, swat away."
"With that settled," Satan declared, "Blitz, I hereby sentence you and I.M.P. to community service. You will join the defense of the Hazbin Hotel while myself and the other Sins take care of the bulk of Heaven's army."
"Wait just a minute!" Andrealphus suddenly stood. "That is far too light a punishment for—"
His words cut off instantly.
Lucifer closed his fist.
Andrealphus began choking mid-sentence, clutching at his throat as invisible pressure crushed him.
"I do not believe your opinion was asked for," Lucifer said coldly. "You do not have the authority to question the ruling of this council."
He looked around the chamber. "Now I propose a new vote. All in favor of this one's immediate execution, say 'aye.'"
In unison, all the Sins said, "aye."
Lucifer snapped his fingers.
Andrealphus exploded in a spray of feathers and blood.
"Enough distractions," Satan growled. "All Sins to the Hazbin Hotel."
He teleported out of the room in a towering column of flame.
-----
The Sins and Maze all arrived at the doorstep of the Hazbin Hotel, their collective presence pressing down on the street like a gathering storm.
Satan stepped forward and raised his fist before delivering three booming knocks against the front door, each one echoing through the building.
A moment later, the door swung open to reveal a wide-eyed Charlie Morningstar, her expression frozen in pure shock as she stared up at the figures looming over her.
Satan smiled, sharp and amused. "Hello, Charlie. Mind if we come in?"
Charlie blinked rapidly, shaking herself out of her daze. "N-no, not at all."
The Sins entered the hotel, their footsteps heavy against the floor. Satan glanced around before his gaze settled back on her.
"Did you really think we wouldn't find out about this?"
Charlie straightened, clenching her hands at her sides. "It's my fight, Uncle Satan. I can't ask you to help me."
Mammon scoffed, waving a dismissive hand. "Who said you need to ask? You're one of the only people in Hell I'm willing to help without expecting anything in return."
He grinned greedily. "Except half of the loot from every angel we kill."
Asmodeus stepped closer, placing a hand on Charlie's shoulder, his voice softer but laced with concern. "Charlie, sweetie, what have I told you about asking me for help? If I'd known about this sooner, we would have had more time to set up defenses."
Mammon clicked his tongue. "No. If we had known about this sooner, we could've sued Heaven for breaking their part of the contract."
Lucifer cut in smoothly, leaning back with an easy confidence. "No sense arguing about it now. Point is, we're here, and we're going to kill everything that attacks this place."
Charlie turned toward him, brows furrowing as she studied his face. "Who are you?"
Lucifer smiled brightly. "Oh, I'm another version of your daddy from another world. Is that a bar I spy?"
Without waiting for an answer, he strolled over to the bar, already reaching for a bottle.
Charlie stared after him, incredulous, before turning back to the others. "No, seriously… who is he?"
Beelzebub shrugged casually. "He's not joking. He's Lucifer from another world. It's weird, but kind of cool at the same time."
Charlie slowly turned back toward the bar, her shock deepening as Lucifer poured himself a glass of whiskey with practiced ease, completely at home.
Her expression said everything.