'Wait. What do you mean my mother told you?'
Kai looked at me.
I looked at Kai.
And for a moment, neither of us said anything.
'What do you mean your mother told me?' he repeated.
'Don't do that.'
'Do what?'
'You know exactly what I'm talking about. You said my mother told you to blame the GA. What do you mean she told you?'
He sighed, shifting slightly against the pillows.
'Jesus, Davina. I just woke up.'
'And?'
'And you're already interrogating me?'
'Yes. Obviously.'
He stared at me.
I stared back.
'Right,' he muttered. 'Lovely to see you too.'
'Kai.'
'Davina.'
'I'm being serious.'
'So am I. My body has barely remembered how to function, and you're looking at me like I'm a suspect in a criminal investigation.'
'Well, technically—'
'Don't.'
I shut my mouth.
For about three seconds.
'When did she come?'
He rubbed his face.
'Who?'
'My mother, Kai. Who else?'
'How am I supposed to know?'
'You were there!'
'In a coma!'
'You were waking up!'
'Barely!'
I exhaled.
This was going wonderfully.
'Fine. Let's start again. When exactly did my mother come to see you?'
'I don't know. Sometime before you arrived.'
'Was she already there when you woke up?'
'I think so.'
'You think so?'
'Yes, Davina. I wasn't exactly checking the time.'
'What was she doing?'
'What do you mean?'
'What was she doing when you woke up? Was she sitting beside you? Standing? Talking to someone? Was she just staring at you?'
He looked at me for a moment.
'Are you going to ask me what she was wearing too?'
'Don't tempt me.'
'Bloody hell.'
I leaned back in my chair.
'Look, I'm just trying to understand something.'
'Clearly.'
'My mother and you barely talk.'
'We talk.'
'About what?'
He opened his mouth.
Then closed it.
I raised an eyebrow.
'Exactly.'
'We don't have to discuss the meaning of life every time we see each other, Davina.'
'I'm not asking you to. I'm asking why my mother suddenly decided to visit you in hospital, apparently before I even got there, and give you instructions about what to tell the police.'
'Well, I didn't exactly invite her.'
'That's not the point.'
'Then what is?'
I paused.
Good question.
I wasn't entirely sure how to explain it. It wasn't that I had a problem with Mum speaking to Kai. She was allowed to speak to whoever she wanted. She could even decide to become the patron saint of hospital visits if that was what she fancied.
But something about it bothered me.
She had told me what to say.
She had told Kai what to say.
And somehow, we were both supposed to repeat the same story about the same missing policeman.
Coincidence?
Perhaps.
But I was beginning to develop a rather unhealthy relationship with that particular word.
'Did she tell you exactly what to say?' I asked.
Kai nodded.
'More or less.'
'More or less isn't an answer.'
'She said the GA was involved in what happened. That he might have been working with those men. She wanted me to tell the police that he'd been there and that I suspected him.'
I frowned.
'Did she give you a reason?'
'Not really.'
'Not really?'
'She said it was important that they looked into him. That's about it.'
I stared at him.
'And you just agreed?'
'What was I supposed to do?'
'I don't know. Ask questions?'
He gave me a look.
'Davina, I had just woken up from a coma. Your mother was suddenly standing there telling me that some policeman we'd both met was potentially involved in a massacre. I wasn't exactly in the best position to start conducting an independent investigation.'
Fair enough.
I suppose.
'Did she seem frightened?'
He considered it.
'I don't know.'
'Angry?'
'Davina.'
'Suspicious?'
'Can you let me finish?'
I folded my arms.
He sighed.
'She seemed... determined. That's the word. She wanted me to say it, and she made it very clear that I should.'
Determined.
Interesting.
I looked down at my hands.
For the past two weeks, I'd been trying to make sense of everything that happened at that party. I'd tried to understand why those men came after us, why the GA disappeared, why my mother refused to talk about her husband's death, and why she suddenly seemed so interested in controlling what everyone told the police.
And every time I thought I was getting somewhere, another question appeared.
It was exhausting.
'You know what?' I muttered.
Kai looked at me.
'What?'
'I'm beginning to think I'm wasting my time.'
'Doing what?'
'Asking questions.'
He raised an eyebrow.
'That's generally how people get answers.'
'Well, apparently not in my family.'
He said nothing.
'My mother knows something. The GA knows something. Somebody knows something, Kai. And everybody seems to have collectively decided that I'm the only person who doesn't deserve to know what it is.'
I laughed, although there wasn't anything particularly funny about it.
'Honestly, I'm tired.'
Kai watched me.
'Then stop asking people who won't tell you.'
I looked at him.
And there it was.
Simple.
Annoyingly simple.
I didn't need to keep waiting for my mother to explain herself. I didn't need to wait for the police to discover something useful. And I certainly didn't need to sit around hoping the GA would suddenly reappear with a handwritten apology and a detailed explanation of his involvement in my increasingly complicated existence.
I could find out myself.
I already knew a few things.
The GA had been a police officer. My mother had gone out of her way to make sure he was implicated. He had disappeared after the attack, and somebody clearly knew more about him than they were willing to admit.
That was enough to start somewhere.
I looked at Kai.
He looked back.
'What?' he asked.
'Nothing.'
'You're doing that thing.'
'What thing?'
'That thing where you look like you've just had a brilliant idea, and I'm about to suffer because of it.'
I smiled.
He closed his eyes.
'Oh, no.'
'Oh, yes.'
'Davina, please.'
'Listen.'
'That's generally how these things start.'
I ignored him.
'I've been thinking.'
'That's never reassuring.'
'And I've come to a conclusion.'
'Can I be discharged first?'
'No.'
'Wonderful.'
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees.
'Look, I know this is probably going to sound like a terrible idea—'
'Then don't say it.'
'But I need your help.'
He blinked.
That seemed to get his attention.
'My help?'
'Yes, yours.'
'What for?'
'An investigation.'
He stared at me.
I stared back.
Then he laughed.
Not a particularly encouraging laugh, either.
'An investigation?'
'Yes.'
'You?'
'Me.'
'And who exactly are we investigating?'
'Everyone.'
'Everyone?'
'Well, not everyone. Obviously. I'm not planning to interrogate the entire population.'
'That's a relief.'
'But we have to start somewhere. The GA, for starters. Then whoever knew him. Whoever might know why he disappeared. And, eventually, we'll get to my mother.'
Kai's expression changed slightly.
'Your mother?'
I nodded.
'Your mother,' he repeated.
'Yes.'
'The same woman who visits me in hospital and tells me what to say to the police?'
'That would be the one.'
He looked at me for a few seconds.
'You're actually considering investigating your own mother?'
'I'm considering investigating everyone who seems to know something about my life except me.'
'That's a very long list.'
'I'm aware.'
He shook his head.
'You know, I was hoping my first few days awake would involve something a little less stressful.'
'And what did you have in mind?'
'Food. Sleep. Perhaps a quiet afternoon where nobody tries to involve me in a conspiracy.'
'How terribly boring.'
'I'm serious.'
'So am I.'
I sat back.
'Besides, we've got the summer holidays coming up.'
He gave me a suspicious look.
'And?'
'Well, apparently, the universe has decided that ordinary holiday activities are beneath us.'
'You mean?'
'I mean, instead of spending our summer doing absolutely nothing, we have been presented with a rather extraordinary opportunity.'
Kai stared at me.
I continued.
'An opportunity to embark upon a grand adventure. An expedition into the unknown. A journey through the treacherous territories of doubt, deception and questionable maternal behaviour.'
He blinked.
'Questionable maternal behaviour?'
'Don't interrupt the announcement.'
'My apologies.'
I stood up.
'Look here, good sir. We shall cross the Narrow Sea of Doubt, brave the Dragons of Disbelief and venture into the darkest corners of this wretched kingdom. We shall uncover the truth, expose the villains and bring their wicked schemes to an end.'
Kai watched me.
I lifted my chin.
'For too long, these people have plotted in the shadows. For too long, they have mistaken our ignorance for weakness. But no more!'
I paused dramatically.
'No more, I say!'
Silence.
Then Kai nodded.
'Right.'
I narrowed my eyes.
'Right?'
'Yes.'
'That's all you have to say?'
'I'm just trying to process the fact that you've apparently appointed yourself queen of a kingdom nobody knows exists.'
I scoffed.
'You clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation.'
'Oh, I understand it perfectly. I just woke up from a coma, and somehow my life has become considerably worse.'
I smiled.
'See? That's the spirit.'
'That wasn't a compliment.'
'It sounded like one.'
He shook his head, but I could see the corner of his mouth lifting.
And then, rather unexpectedly, he stood up.
I watched him.
'What are you doing?'
'If we're doing this, we're doing it properly.'
He reached towards the little table beside his bed and picked up a pen.
A pen.
He held it up, examining it as though he'd just discovered an ancient weapon forged by the finest blacksmiths in the Seven Kingdoms.
Then he raised it towards the ceiling.
'Then hear me, my lady.'
Oh.
Oh, this was getting good.
'We shall venture forth into the unknown,' he declared, 'and together we shall uproot the evil that seeks to lay its filthy claws upon you.'
He pointed the pen towards me.
'Be it your mother, your father, your dearly departed stepfather, or that bloody policeman who apparently calls himself a guardian angel—'
'He doesn't call himself that. I did.'
'Whatever. The point stands.'
I laughed.
He continued.
'We shall find them. We shall expose them. And should any wicked soul dare stand in our way, they shall answer to us.'
I placed a hand against my chest.
'Beautiful.'
'Thank you.'
'Truly inspiring.'
'I know.'
'You might actually be useful.'
'Don't push it.'
I retrieved a pen from my pocket.
Then, with all the dignity I could possibly summon, I lowered myself onto one knee before him.
He looked down at me.
I raised my eyes.
'My lord, should you accept this sword, you shall pledge your allegiance to this noble cause. You shall stand beside me through the treacherous lands ahead, and together we shall uncover the truth, no matter the cost.'
I held out my pen.
Kai looked at it.
Then at me.
'That's a pen.'
'It's a sword.'
'It's a biro.'
'It's a sword, Kai.'
'Right. My mistake.'
He lifted his own pen.
'Then, by the ancient laws of this kingdom, I accept your oath.'
He tapped the pen against my head.
Once.
Twice.
And then, for good measure, a third time.
'Rise, noble warrior.'
I remained kneeling for another second.
'Thank you, my liege.'
'You're welcome.'
I stood up.
And just like that, we had apparently established an alliance.
A rather questionable one, admittedly, considering neither of us had any idea what we were doing.
But an alliance nonetheless.
I slipped my pen back into my pocket.
'You know,' I said, 'there's a possibility you might develop powers too.'
Kai looked at me.
'What?'
'Powers. Like mine.'
He stared.
I shrugged.
'I mean, you never know. Perhaps all that time you spent unconscious has activated something.'
'That's not how being in a coma works.'
'You don't know that.'
'I actually think medical professionals might disagree.'
'Well, they're not the ones with supernatural abilities, are they?'
He rubbed his forehead.
'And what exactly do you think I'll get?'
I considered it.
'Something useful, hopefully.'
'How reassuring.'
'Perhaps telepathy. Or telekinesis. Maybe you could set things on fire.'
'Why would I want to set things on fire?'
'Because it's cool.'
'You're an idiot.'
'An idiot with powers.'
'An idiot with absolutely no control over said powers.'
I pointed at him.
'Details.'
He laughed.
And I laughed too.
For the first time in what felt like an eternity, I wasn't thinking about the birthday party. I wasn't thinking about the bodies, the police, the nightmares or the strange substance that had poured from my eyes.
I was simply sitting with my best friend, making ridiculous declarations and pretending that two teenagers with a couple of pens could somehow take on whatever had decided to ruin our lives.
It was stupid.
Completely, magnificently stupid.
But perhaps that was exactly what I needed.
Because I was done waiting for people to tell me what was happening.
If nobody was going to give me the answers, Kai and I would have to find them ourselves.
And, apparently, we were going to do it with swords.
We laughed for a while.
Actually, laughed is putting it mildly. We were practically losing our minds. Kai was still holding his imaginary sword, looking terribly pleased with himself, while I was busy recovering from what I could only describe as the most ridiculous knighting ceremony in history.
Eventually, we both collapsed onto his bed.
I was still grinning when something occurred to me.
And just like that, the smile disappeared.
I sat up.
"Kai?"
"Hmm?"
"Are we good?"
He turned his head towards me. "What?"
"Are we good? You and me. Are we okay?"
He looked at me for a moment, seemingly trying to work out where the question had come from.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean..." I paused, trying to find the right words. "I'm being serious, Kai."
"So am I. What are you talking about?"
I sighed.
"Look, I know what happened at the party. I know I hurt you. I know I hurt everyone, actually, but you..." I looked down at my hands. "You were already hurt before I did whatever the hell that was. And then I practically threw you into another person. I don't even know what to call it."
"Davina—"
"No, let me finish. Please."
He went quiet.
"I just need you to tell me if you're angry with me. Or if you resent me. Or if things are different now. Because if they are, I'd rather you tell me than have us pretend everything is normal when it isn't."
For a moment, neither of us said anything.
Then Kai shifted against the pillows.
"Do you honestly think I would be here if I hated you?"
"Well, I don't know. I thought you were here because you were in a coma and hospitals are generally supposed to treat people for that sort of thing."
Kai stared at me.
"Right. That actually makes sense."
"I know. I'm a very logical person."
"Clearly."
"Anyway, that's not what I meant."
"I know," he said, his expression softening. "And I'm answering you."
I looked at him.
"I'm not angry with you, Davina. At least, not in the way you think."
"Then what way?"
He hesitated.
"I was scared."
That shut me up.
"I mean, how wouldn't I be?" he continued. "You were floating. There was this black stuff coming out of your eyes, things were flying everywhere, and people were getting thrown around. You were doing things that shouldn't even be possible."
"Tell me about it."
"And the worst part wasn't even what you were doing. It was that you didn't seem to know what was happening either."
I frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"You looked just as confused as everyone else. Like you were watching it happen, but you couldn't stop it."
I looked away.
He was right.
I remembered pieces of it. The noise, the glass, the screaming. The sensation of something moving through me, something that didn't feel like mine.
"I didn't know what was happening," I admitted.
"I know."
"I couldn't control it."
"I know, Davina."
"And I wouldn't have hurt you. Not intentionally."
"I know that too."
He said it quietly. Not dismissively. Just as though it was something he'd already considered.
I swallowed.
"I'm sorry."
Kai stared at the ceiling for a moment before turning back to me.
"Yeah. Well, you nearly got me expelled once, so I suppose we're even."
I blinked.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm just saying. You've been a problem for years."
"Wow. That's how you repay me after I nearly died?"
"You're the one who asked if we're good."
"Not for you to start listing my criminal record!"
He laughed, and I shoved his shoulder.
"Besides," he continued, "I'm literally back from a coma. I think I've got enough material to complain about."
"That's not funny."
"Didn't say it was."
We fell quiet again, but this time it wasn't uncomfortable.
I looked at him properly. He was still pale, and there were traces of the ordeal he'd been through that I couldn't quite ignore. I wondered whether he was genuinely all right or simply trying to make me feel better.
Perhaps both.
"Promise me something," I said.
He raised an eyebrow. "Depends."
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Make jokes when there's something you actually want to say."
He looked at me.
"Same goes for you."
I opened my mouth, then closed it.
Fair enough.
"I'll try," I said.
"Good."
I lay back down, staring at the ceiling.
For the first time in what felt like forever, I didn't feel like I had to explain myself. I didn't have to pretend I was fine, or make some ridiculous joke to distract myself from the fact that my life had become an absolute disaster.
Kai was there.
My best friend was there.
And even if neither of us fully understood what had happened at that party, at least we could still talk about it.
That had to count for something.