Amidst the chatter and laughter, Lumine continued following the storyline.
Paimon rubbed her chin, gave Lumine a sidelong glance, and said,
"Lumine, you fell asleep again. You know you're not allowed to sleep here, right?"
The corner of Lumine's mouth twitched.
Sure enough, in the story, her in-game self had collapsed and gone straight to sleep.
What the hell was this?!
Seriously?!
Why was everyone so underhanded?!
From the shadows emerged the Doctor — Dottore.
Grinding her teeth, Lumine growled,
"As expected, the Fatui are nothing but rats in the sewers. You never know where they'll pop out from!"
The last one who was this underhanded was Scaramouche!
Yes, him.
Back in the Delusion Factory, he had laid traps, and in a moment of rashness she had charged in—only to walk straight into it and promptly pass out.
Fatui Executives!
They were supposed to be powerful combatants.
So why the hell did they keep resorting to cheap tricks like traps?
Didn't it feel… beneath them?
"Streamer's tilted, hahaha." Paimon laughed mischievously. "But honestly, you gotta admit, their methods are… hard to describe. Who would've thought they'd launch a sneak attack at this exact moment? Even Nahida didn't see it coming. Passing out instantly… kinda understandable, right?"
"Don't make excuses for me!"
Lumine's face twisted in anger.
"In real life, if Dottore wanted me dead, I'd already be a corpse with no chance to resist! Joke or not, we need to take this seriously!"
The thought of being ambushed one day, collapsing on the spot, and then killed—it was enough to make her feel powerless just imagining it.
"I get it." Paimon nodded firmly.
Even she, though usually carefree, was unsettled by Dottore's ambush.
It was clear: they could never afford to let their guard down. At any moment, the Fatui's "sewer rats" could crawl out and deliver a deadly surprise.
While continuing the quest, Lumine muttered,
"Nahida really doesn't feel that strong… even letting Dottore threaten her. As the God of Wisdom, this is… honestly, I'd better not say it."
The moment she said, "I'd better not say it," the viewers in the livestream instantly understood.
As one of the participants, Lumine couldn't openly judge.
But the audience certainly could.
"Pretty abstract, isn't it? A God of Wisdom gambling with Dottore's choices… is that really wisdom?"
"Straight talk: Nahida doesn't give me 'God of Wisdom' vibes at all. Compared to Greater Lord Rukkhadevata, she's lacking by a mile. Let's be real, only Rukkhadevata could've saved Sumeru."
"What kind of move was that…"
In the story, Nahida exchanged her Gnosis to ensure the death of all of Dottore's remaining clones.
From this moment on, only the one Dottore before them still lived.
All the others had perished.
"What a shame," Lumine sighed. "Dottore actually chose this path."
"What?! Why are you pitying him?!" Paimon's eyes went wide with suspicion. "Don't tell me you're secretly the Twelfth Harbinger!"
"Hm?" Lumine raised a brow. "Don't you think it's a pity? All of Dottore's clones just died like that! If they had lived, we could've divided them up—everyone gets one Dottore to take down!"
"Wait—hold on!"
Paimon was stunned, staring at her in disbelief.
"You… what did you just say?!"
"I mean it!" Lumine cleared her throat.
"Think about it—tons of people hate Dottore, right? And he's got plenty of clones. So why not let everyone with a grudge claim one for themselves? No need to fight over it anymore!"
Paimon's pupils shrank. Then she clapped her hands together in sudden realization.
"Genius! Absolute genius!"
The livestream exploded.
"She's a damn genius!"
"Lumine's right—why let the clones die off now?!"
"666. If Dottore heard this, he'd explode on the spot."
"Perfect! Even better if he does!"
"See? Makes sense, doesn't it?" Lumine grinned slyly. "Later, I'll ask around and see what everyone thinks."
"What do you mean?" Paimon asked, baffled.
"Obviously—we're forming a group raid against Dottore." Lumine spread her arms. "Isn't it obvious? We have to solve the Sumeru problem anyway. Leaving Dottore alive is not an option."
"Dottore dies. Scaramouche dies. The Sages die. Since they all have to die, why not make their deaths meaningful? Everyone gets the joy of personal revenge!"
"So, I've made my decision!"
She raised one finger and declared,
"I'm going to pull all the Genshin characters into a chat group and ask who wants which slice of Dottore!"
"Brilliant!" Paimon cheered. "But saying this on-stream… is that really okay?"
"What's wrong with it?" Lumine shrugged. "Where can he run? Teyvat's only so big. Unless he escapes the world entirely, he's not living long."
"Fair point." Paimon nodded in sudden understanding.
"Even the Tsaritsa probably can't protect him now. Honestly, just Diluc's firepower alone… scary stuff."
Lumine wasted no time.
She handed the quest grinding to Paimon while she pulled out her phone.
Her own influence might not be enough, so she asked for help from Luheng—the most respected, most reliable man in Teyvat. Even while on a date, he gave her the answer.
Soon, Lumine received data from the Civilization Core.
"Whoa, that many?" She was stunned.
One by one, she added contacts, then dragged them all into a new group chat.
In Sumeru, at Gandharva Ville, Childe sat atop his car roof, chewing a stem of grass, eyes fixed on the horizon. He was waiting for the so-called God of Justice to appear—ready to strike the moment she did.
Ding.
He blinked and pulled out his phone.
[Lumine invites you to join "The Teyvat Family." Do you accept?]
"Teyvat Family? What kind of group is this?"
Childe frowned in confusion, but curiosity won out.
The moment he entered, familiar faces filled his screen.
Zhongli. Venti. Others.
And a new message popped up: Lumine had transferred the group owner role to Luheng.
[Lumine]: Friends! I have great news!
[Hu Tao]: What's the great news?! Tell me, tell me!
[Raiden Shogun]: What is this group even for? (thinking)
[Lumine]: As we all know, Dottore had countless clones. Everyone who hates him… why not start dividing them up now? (smirk)
Childe froze.
Dividing… Dottore's slices?
Strange as it sounded, he immediately understood.
[Childe]: I'm in! But don't you dare fight me for Scaramouche. He's mine!
[Cyno]: …You're a Fatui Harbinger yourself. Do Harbingers really have grudges against each other?
[Childe]: You don't get it! That bastard stole my shipment—my tribute for the Tsaritsa! I swore I'd end him myself.
[Arlecchino]: Interesting. I'll take a slice too.
On and on, the group came alive—every hero, every grudge, every claim stoking the fire of a grand raid about to begin.
And so began the largest hunt Teyvat had ever seen:
The Dottore Slice Distribution.
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T/N:
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