Chapter Sixty-One – Say It Out Loud
There had to be an expression to describe how he felt, standing in the reception area of the hospital where Alexander worked, cradling a huge bouquet of red roses in his arms, while all around him people walked with purpose, stealing curious glances at him. Everything here was white or hospital-blue, and then there was him, breaking the pattern with that romantic cliché. Lyn had to wonder briefly if the receptionist might find the size of that bouquet enough grounds for throwing him out.
The thought was so silly he had to hide his smile behind the thing, which was easy, seeing how it covered most of his torso.
"May I help you, sir?" the receptionist, a tall young man wearing thin-rimmed glasses asked.
"Yes. I'm here to see Dr. Montgomery," Lyn said, cradling the bouquet on one arm so he could peek at the receptionist that way.
"Do you have an appointment?" The young man's eyes went from Lyn's face to the roses and back again. It looked like any moment now, his professional demeanor would crack into a smile.
A couple of nurses giggled while passing by. Lyn didn't mind; maybe they were sharing a good joke.
"No, I don't have an appointment," Lyn said, pooling all his resources to look as charming as he could. "But it's essential that I see Dr. Montgomery." And then, under his breath, "Preferably, before these flowers wilt."
"Please, give me a moment," the receptionist said, turning his attention to the screen of his computer.
To Lyn's right, a pair of doors swung open, to allow the man himself to walk into the hallway. From behind the bouquet, which he was holding as a shield now, Lyn observed Alexander, always his cool unflappable self, with one hand in the pocket of his white coat, while dangling an unlit cigarillo between his other hand's fingers.
A nurse in blue scrubs hurried after him. "Dr. Montgomery, how many times must I tell you? You can't smoke in here."
"Martha, the hospital rules are ingrained deep within my bones, I assure you," Alexander said pleasantly. "I know I instructed you to give me a thrashing each time you see me holding this thing, but I'm not smoking it. It's simply here for emotional support."
Martha, a boisterous woman in her mid-fifties, rolled her eyes and grabbed the cigarillo from Alexander's hand. "I'm afraid I must take your emotional support with me, Dr. Montgomery."
For a moment, Alexander looked like a kid deprived of his candy. The next, he noticed the roses.
Lyn lowered the bouquet so he could face the doctor he was here to see.
Alexander's jaw went slack for the duration of a heartbeat. "Flowers, huh? A dozen roses?"
Lyn looked at the bouquet as if he was noticing it for the first time. "Well, I didn't count them. I just told the lady at the shop to pack them all."
Alexander nodded and gestured with his chin for Lyn to follow him on his way to the elevators. "Please, step into my office, Mr. Calloway."
Lyn felt about a dozen pairs of eyes on them. Someone even muttered a breathless 'I'll be damned', but that was all.
Lucky him, the elevator trip took too little time for him to process his nervousness. Between Alexander's unmistakable expensive cologne and the scent of the roses, he was no longer aware of the smell of disinfectant permeating the air everywhere.
***
Alexander looked at home behind the crowded desk. Doctors were supposed to be a little more organized, Lyn thought. Dr. Montgomery was in terrible need of assistance, it seemed, and that wasn't much of a surprise.
Still, he didn't doubt for a moment that Alexander knew exactly where everything he needed was. Also, the hospital had to have digitized files on their data network, without a doubt.
"These are for you," Lyn said, handing the flowers over the desk to Alexander.
"Just drop them… wherever you want."
Lyn had expected such an answer. He peeked inside the bouquet to make sure he hadn't lost the most important item already. Then he placed the flowers carefully on the desk to one side so he could still see Alexander as they talked.
"When did you decide to switch to cardiothoracic surgery? You were so sure about your previous choice, and that was neurosurgery, as I knew so well."
Alexander looked good, albeit a little pale. His handsome face was drawn, making him look like a tortured tragic hero in a romance novel. The question seemed to have caught him off guard, but knowing Alexander the way he did, Lyn expected an honest answer.
"Toward the end of junior year in college," came the reply.
Lyn nodded slowly. "Was that when you learned about Brad's heart condition?"
Again, Alexander confirmed without hesitation. "Yes."
"How did you learn about it? I know he didn't tell you."
Alexander tracked Lyn closely, almost unblinking. "That is correct. His mother told me. I called to talk to Bradley, and he was in the hospital. Only for a few days, that's why you didn't know," he added quickly. "Let's say I probed her gently. She had me swear to keep it a secret. From everyone. Because Bradley didn't want to have people pitying him."
"I'm not questioning your choices," Lyn said.
Alexander gave him a long and silent reproachful look.
"So, did you do the switch because of him?"
This time, Alexander abandoned staring at his visitor and turned his chair slowly, suddenly attracted by a medical diagram of the human heart covering a third of the wall to his left. "It's a choice like any other, Lynton."
"Well, at least I'm Lynton now, and not Mr. Calloway. Come on, Alexander, be honest. There's no point in hiding anything anymore."
Alexander scoffed. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I'm damn sure," Lyn said with conviction. "You did it because of him. Why?"
Alexander shrugged for a moment, still eyeing the picture on the wall. "Until then, my choice in favor of neurology as a medical career had been nothing but rational. I did have a passion for it, yes, because the human body is the most complicated puzzle and closest to us, ready to be discovered. And of all its parts, the brain enticed me the most." He paused for a moment. "After I learned about Bradley's problems, it got… personal, I guess."
"There's no cure," Lyn said. "But you can do so much for him, right?"
"I'm not a miracle worker, Lynton," Alexander said with a sigh. "But I'm keeping up to date with everything new in the field. There's new medication, surgery protocols, things that appear every year we can use to help such patients. Just don't expect me to put my hand on his heart and make him as good as new for you. Not even for you, because it's not possible. Not right now. It doesn't matter how much I want it. Desire and reality are two different things, right, Lynton?"
Their eyes met, and the words cut deep, but Lyn welcomed the fresh wound; it was the kind people needed to get better, like a surgeon's knife.
"You came here to talk to me about him," Alexander continued. "I appreciate the flowers, but they're not necessary. Nothing will change until it changes. Rest assured that I'll do the right thing as long as it's in my power."
Lyn leaned back in his chair and looked at Alexander. He loved him; Brad was right. From the way his lips curled when delivering a witty line to how his eyelids dropped when something made him happy, Alexander was the one he truly loved. Silly how he had never realized it before; when had it happen? Recent experiences pointed at everything taking place during their short vacation before Brad's wedding, but Lyn knew it couldn't be that recent.
Although Brad had hurt him worse, Lyn had punished Alexander more in his mind over their eight years of absence, because thinking of him hurt too much. His imagined betrayal had never made sense.
Because of course, it had never been real.
"I owe you everything."
Alexander's eyes widened in surprise. "You're exaggerating. I just told you I can't work miracles to save his life."
Lyn shook his head gently. "I'm not exaggerating. And I'm not talking about Brad, although you should know you're the most awesome person in the world to work so hard to become good at your job for a friend."
Alexander's surprise deepened, but Lyn cut any protests that might come short by speaking quickly.
"My life would have been a whole lot different if you hadn't saved me back then. I continued my studies and became a successful lawyer because of you. I have the life I wanted because of you."
"That's an exaggeration--"
"No it is not," Lyn countered. "I'm not a strong person. Not like you are. I could have worked myself to the bone and I could still have failed. There are things in this life that are unsurmountable, and you know it. If you can't accept that, at least accept that you made my life easier and prevented my efforts from becoming futile."
Alexander nodded reluctantly.
"What I'm here for is to tell you you're the best person I've ever had the honor to meet in my life. I know it might not mean much, seeing what happened between us and the way I treated you, but you need to hear it from me, nonetheless. Anyway," Lyn said, getting up, "Brad got it in my head that you're a hopeless romantic, and I have to trust another person's opinion of you for a change. I'm leaving now, but please check the little gift I left for you in there." He gestured at the bouquet.
"Gift? What gift?" Alexander made a move to reach the flowers.
Lyn walked backwards toward the door. "Just wait for me to get out of here. I'm still a chicken shit, by the way, in case you didn't notice. Bye, A," he said quickly before making a run for it.
His lips twitched as he got in the elevator and pressed the button that would take him to the ground floor. Brad better be right about Alexander; Lyn knew him, too, and giving the demon room to flee was the best course of action.
What if he—
Lyn shook his head. He'd have to think of a different strategy if this didn't work. But for once in his life, he needed to trust his feelings rather than his thoughts.
He was walking down the hallway toward the exit now. The receptionist gave him a questioning look, and Lyn waved at him with a smile.
The ding of the elevator doors was too much of a temptation, but he steeled his resolve. He only needed to continue walking calmly toward the exit, pretending that his job here was done. For now.
There was no need for that. Who knew how many pounds of muscles barreled into him from behind, forcing him to tense his entire body to support his attacker's weight.
Alexander encircled him with his arms and shoved the small box under his nose. "What's this, Lynton?"
"Well, my bet is on an engagement ring, but you can use it as you see fit. Seeing how highly intelligent you are, you will find a proper destination for it that's preferably not the nearest garbage can."
Alexander snorted right in his ear, making him snicker. With one hand, Alexander's able fingers popped open the box and then extracted the small note inside, hidden behind the ring. "Read it, Lynton," he ordered, "read it out loud."
"And give you the satisfaction of rejecting me in public?" Lyn teased, although he couldn't help smiling.
"Say it out loud, for fuck's sake, you insufferable ass," Alexander ordered.
Lyn cleared his throat for show. He leaned forward, as if he had trouble reading his own handwriting.
"Marry me."
Two words, because he knew Alexander. The two words that mattered most and would cut through the bullshit they had danced around all these years, without even being aware of it. Especially him, Lyn. Or maybe just him.
"Louder," Alexander said, drawling the word.
"Seriously? We're in a hospital. Shouldn't we be quiet? Fine. Marry me."
"Hmm, I'm still not satisfied. You'll have to do better than that, Lynton."
"Okay," Lyn said, feigning exasperation. He was aware he was speaking way too loudly, but he needed to secure his and his demon's future, so all bets were off. "Marry me. Will you marry me? Will you do me the honor of becoming my husband, Alexander Montgomery III? Do it, marry me. You know you love me. And I love you."
"For real?"
It was easy to read the smile in Alexander's voice.
"How many times do I have to say it? Marry me," Lyn insisted.
"Say the other part."
"I love you?"
"Why the question mark?"
"I love you, demon." Lyn turned his head to place a short peck on Alexander's cheek. "Let's not scandalize your co-workers. I'll text you my hotel room number. Be my booty call when you get off work. Okay, A?"
"Hmm, I don't know--"
"Dr. Montgomery, just tell this beautiful man 'yes' already," a voice cut through the whispers and giggles rising like a tide around them. "If you don't," Martha, because she was the one talking, "I'll steal him from you, and you can go back to your moping and smoking and whatever cloud you like sitting under every day."
Alexander's hold on Lyn relaxed. "Martha, I'm not smoking!"
"Says you. So, what do we say now to—what's your name, sweetheart?"
"Lyn," Lyn offered the answer quickly.
"Well, Dr. Montgomery, what do we say to Lyn?"
Alexander's face was all a smile. "I suppose there's no other choice." He hugged Lyn one more time. "Yes," he whispered in Lyn's hair.
Martha laughed and walked away. "Louder, Dr. Montgomery. They need to hear you back in the ICU, 'cause this is the juiciest piece of gossip around since we had that hush-hush high profile celebrity coming here to have us check her broken heart."
"Wait for me," Alexander said, squeezing Lyn hard in his arms.
"I will. No matter how long it takes," Lyn promised.
Alexander consulted his wristwatch. "Not very long. Actually, you'd better hurry, if you don't want me to get there before you." Then, in a whisper, "And I need to get out of here before Martha starts planning the honeymoon."
***
Did his hair look okay? Were those dark circles? Lyn gave himself the most critical look he could muster, which was difficult seeing how his face broke into a giddy smile without him being able to control it.
He had already taken a shower. But now he regretted it because it meant that he wouldn't be joining Alexander later. What the hell was he thinking now? He'd join him, of course. His future husband required plenty of tending to, and Lyn could barely wait to start getting into his role. Washing his back, washing his hair…
He needed to stop thinking if he didn't want to end up masturbating before Alexander's arrival. Was it a good idea to rub one out quickly? No. Yes.
Ah, he didn't know.
The knock cut his train of thought short. Lyn hurried to the door, almost losing the towel he had wrapped around his waist on his way there. With a grunt, he pulled it close to his body and opened the door wide.
He was breathless even if he had only run for about two seconds. Because Alexander was there, looking like the entire sun was calling his eyes home, which was funny seeing how Lyn had mostly noticed their piercing coldness before.
"Is this how you answer the door?" Alexander scolded him playfully. "What if I was room service?"
Lyn snickered and grabbed Alexander's arm to pull him inside. His future husband – he wouldn't grow tired of calling him that anytime soon – was quick to go along with being manhandled. "I didn't order room service."
"Really? How disappointing."
The door barely closed when Lyn let the towel drop, not needing it anymore, and plastered himself to Alexander's stronger body, throwing his arms around his neck.
Alexander laughed, dodging Lyn's kiss at the last moment only to grab a handful of Lyn's hair and make him angle his head. They chased each other's lips, grunting softly until Alexander brought them together.
No doubts were left whatsoever. Lyn knew he had never kissed anyone else like this and never would. His hands were moving fast, taking Alexander out of his way too many clothes, without giving himself – or his precious future husband – a moment to breathe.
"Oh, fuck," Alexander sighed, grabbing Lyn's ass with both hands now and hiking him up, "I have so many things to scold you about, but I believe fucking you should be the first priority. Hopefully, you've made yourself ready."
He had, although he had expected the fucking to come a little later.
"Okay," he said without hiding his greed for a moment, "fuck me now, scold me later."
That was his demon all right. That smile, those warm eyes, the way he tilted his head, coming in for another kiss. Lyn didn't care if he stopped breathing altogether as he welcomed Alexander's tongue in his mouth. An entire life without breathing sounded fine at this point.
They laughed as they landed on the nearest piece of furniture that would support them.
"I stink," Alexander said, stopping abruptly from ravaging Lyn's more than willing body.
"I don't care." Lyn pulled him closer. "I love your smell." To make a point, he pushed his nose against Alexander's chest, inhaling deeply. "I love everything about you," he added, meeting Alexander's blue and warm stare.
"That's something I will thoroughly dissect later," Alexander promised, catching Lyn's bottom lip between his teeth, biting it playfully. "Now, if you don't mind, I'll fuck you into this sofa or whatever it is."
"I think it's actually a settee," Lyn expressed his dubious guess. "Rather small for a sofa."
Alexander shrugged. "I don't care. If we break it, don't worry. Your future husband has enough resources to cover the damage."
"My future husband," Lyn whispered, running his fingers along Alexander's jaw. "I love the sound of that."
"Don't get too used to it," Alexander teased him.
"Why?" Lyn searched his handsome lover's face.
"Because I'll be your husband in the very near future."
That worked, too. Lyn snickered as Alexander made way for himself between his legs.
And promptly grunted in frustration since there was simply no way they could use that piece of furniture for what they had in mind.
Lyn just gestured with his chin to his right. "The floor is carpeted and looks pretty inviting. What do you say?"
Alexander said nothing and pulled him down instead. Lyn wrapped his legs around him and kissed him deeply. When the first push came, he shivered.
"You're big," he said.
"Like you don't know," Alexander said back with a grin. "You're pretty tight, though."
"Obviously. I've lived like a monk since we… since we broke up."
Alexander's eyelids drooped. "No sexy twinks ready to jump on your dick?"
Lyn snorted. "They were plenty. I just wasn't interested anymore. Actually, they called me 'the monk' among themselves. I was that ascetic in your absence."
"I'm glad," Alexander said, finding Lyn's lips again.
It wasn't easy to have such an endowed future, soon-to-be full-fledged, husband. But it was no real trouble to welcome him inside his ass, Lyn thought even as he stretched enough to let out a gasp.
"Go on," he issued the order, pulling Alexander close to him, reveling in his scent.
"I'm trying," Alexander replied, snickering close to his ear. "But I don't want to finish too fast. I want this to last."
Lyn ran his fingers through Alexander's dark hair. "It will last forever. I promise."
"Wow, what a sexy act you are," Alexander joked. "Do you truly believe that you'll be able to keep my dick in your ass for decades?"
"With reasonable and timely breaks, everything is possible," Lyn replied in kind. "Come here. I've missed kissing you so badly, I have no idea how I managed to survive these last weeks."
"Damn, Mr. Montgomery, you have a sweet tongue on you," Alexander teased him playfully.
"Mr. Montgomery? Do you expect me to take your name?"
"It's a wonderful name. Solid. Old money vibe. All that. Don't you want it, Lyn?"
"I want it. I want all of you," Lyn confessed, holding Alexander close and placing small kisses on his temple, the corner of one eye, lower on the cheek, barely tasting the corner of his lips. "Forever."
"I'll hold you to your promise," Alexander said before taking Lyn's mouth to make it his.
This was more than sex, Lyn thought, as Alexander grunted softly on top of him, pinning him to the floor with his gorgeous, capable cock. It was even more than lovemaking, because Lyn had never felt as complete as he felt now. He would hold Alexander in his arms and in his heart forever.
He caressed Alexander's hair, urging him to go faster. His lower body would surely be on fire later, but it was a price he was willing to pay. And he'd most likely get used to a diet of regular sex soon enough, a thought that made him grin until his cheeks hurt.
His mounting pleasure broke the train of his thoughts in the most exquisite manner. He moaned and sank his teeth into Alexander's salty shoulder as he felt his future husband giving him his all, making him follow through right after.
***
Who knew people could get so tired after having sex just three times? Lynton didn't dislike this tiredness at all. His entire body was untied, loose, free of inhibitions and anything else that could qualify as hurtful or unpleasant.
Although Alexander's vigorous lovemaking must have left plenty of marks on his body, he didn't mind any of them. Actually, he enjoyed pressing on the small bruises on his skin and reveling in the superficial pain they triggered. That said, he needed to wear only long sleeves and high collars for a while.
Alexander, despite his promise to scold Lyn, was sleeping soundly now, leaving Lyn to enjoy watching over him. Later, he would order room service because they would need their nourishment for a second round of fooling around. He had no idea what Alexander's schedule was, so he'd have to take that into account, too. Amber had allowed him a couple of days leave, but as much as he wanted to spend all his waking – and even the sleeping – hours with his future husband, he needed to be realistic.
He moved slightly to check the hour on his phone. No wonder the evening was almost here. Hours went so fast when you were happy, Lyn mused, putting his phone back on the nightstand.
"Where do you think you're going?" Alexander growled, throwing an arm around him.
Lyn laughed. "Nowhere. I just wanted to see what time it was. Should I order room service? I suppose you don't want us to go out to eat."
"You suppose correctly. But don't order room service just yet." Alexander pulled him under the covers and turned Lyn so they could look at each other. "I still have to scold you."
"You didn't forget," Lyn said, smiling.
"You're lovely when you smile, but it won't get you off the hook. What took you so long?"
Lyn's smile faded. "Blame it on my high tolerance to misery. I'm stupid, Alexander. All these years, I've had no idea how I felt about you, and Brad had to tell me so I finally understood--"
"What?!"
Alexander's startled exclamation stopped him mid-sentence.
"Yeah, I know." Lyn sighed. "He was the one to open my eyes. I don't want to lie to you. Especially since we're going to get married."
"I don't care about that part," Alexander said quickly. "Bradley is good at keeping people together. I want to know about the other thing. Are you saying that you actually… cared about me while we didn't speak or see each other for eight years?"
Lyn groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose briefly. "It's complicated, okay? Ever since I left you two behind that last night of college, I felt empty. I put in the hours, I became a lawyer, I fucked guys, but still… and I thought of Brad. Not all the time but often. While I refused to think of you at all. While I told myself that… I think I wanted to hate you because I'd convinced myself you betrayed me. You know how good I am at running from things that hurt. You must know. You know me better than everyone else. So I have no idea how and when it happened. But when Brad told me that I love you, only a couple of days ago, it was like all the puzzle pieces of my life fell into place. And it couldn't have happened during our little love affair before Brad's wedding. I'm a person who values logic, and that would make no sense."
He needed to stop so he could breathe. A single look at Alexander's face was all he dared.
"You've always been there for me. If I take all my memories of you, all of them, and I think 'this man loves me, and I love him', it all makes sense. It fits, even in my miserable life. You're not saying anything. Are you mad?"
Alexander shook his head slowly, offering Lyn the most beautiful smile a man could offer.
"Your love is logical, then?"
Lyn groaned and hid his face with one hand for a moment. "It's not the best love confession you deserve to hear, and I know it. But I'll get better at it, because you're the romantic kind, and I want to give you the best of me."
Alexander snuck closer and kissed Lyn's lips. "You're perfect just the way you are. And I guess I have to share the blame. I love keeping misery company just the way you do, Lyn. I tried to forget you but I couldn't. And when Bradley called to invite me to his wedding without forgetting to tell me that you'd be there… ah, I realized I was still so very much and stupidly in love with you."
"Alexander, that's… okay, now that's how a romantic love confession should sound. I'll take notes."
Alexander shook his head, making a few curls drop on his high forehead. Lyn arranged them with his fingers. "I don't need all that. I just need your love. Do I have it?"
"You do. By the way, in case you had told me off earlier today, I would have tried many other things to win you back. For years, if needed."
"Would you have stopped at one point?"
"Yes. But only if you'd fallen in love with someone else. And not in my heart. Never in my heart. I was so mad when I left Brad and you again. I felt this huge empty place inside my chest getting bigger. And then Brad harassed me into meeting him, and once he told me about himself and about you and me, and the things he noticed as an outsider… that sensation of emptiness disappeared. You're here, A," he said tenderly, taking Alexander's hand and placing it on his chest.
"Along with Bradley?"
Lyn laughed, although he could bet his eyes were shiny. "You know I care about him. But he's the brother I never had. I've never considered you that. Because you're my perfect husband."
"I suppose I can live with that. How soon can we get married? What do you think?"
"The soonest is not soon enough," Lyn said.
"Ha! I believe you're getting better at romantic talk, Lyn. Okay, so now, what do you want: sex or food?"
Lyn cuddled close to Alexander's chest and inhaled the smell of his skin. It was still distinctively him, even after the shower he'd taken earlier. "Food can wait. Do you agree?"
"I do," Alexander whispered in his hair, his hands already wandering lower, all over Lyn's body.
TBC