Ester didn't bother pretending to be shocked.
She didn't blink. Didn't argue. Didn't even look up. Her stomach just...dropped.
What had she expected? That she could outrun her past? That no one here would ever know?
Se'raf's voice cut through her like a blade. Cold. Unrelenting.
Murderer.
"I did it in self-defence," Ester whispered.
"You still killed someone, no?" Se'raf snorted through their distorted mask. "And a pretty important person, no less."
Ester bit her lip until she tasted metal. She didn't want to remember him. She didn't want to remember the way people still spoke of him, as if he'd been holy. The thought gnawed at her conscience.
"He deserved it."
The words sounded foreign, slipping from her mouth before she realised they were hers. "If not from me, then from one of the girls he'd been abusing."
Se'raf didn't react. For a long moment, they only watched her, eyes dissecting her where she stood.
"You left his face unrecognisable," they finally said, voice devoid of judgement. "The Church report claimed an unstable Synchrite caused his death. One whose existence had been hidden by their family."
Ester's throat tightened. Of course they did
Families who did a Synchrite were punished. Publicly. Brutally. Shamelessly. Her family had been made an example of.
Se'raf's voice remained steady, too steady.
"Do you not understand? Because of you, they think us dangerous. Regulars are whispering amongst themselves, accusing families of hiding unidentified Synchrites." A soft sigh slipped through their mask. "It's fortunate that boy defeated that thing in Leria. Because of him, discourse is spreading across Chimera."
Another pause.
"How long until the rest find out the truth?"
Ester's gaze drifted to the other Starless. Their earlier complaints had quieted, morphing into dedicated focus. Her eyes found Saphy. Bright, warm, radiant. The one person Ester dared to hope might become a friend. A sister.
Her chest tightened painfully.
"H-how do you know all this?" she asked, barely audible.
"...Cannot say," Se'raf replied after a moment. "But you need strength. Quickly. Or you will not survive here. And I do not mean just the Chimera Cross Trials.
Before Ester could ask more. Se'raf's head snapped toward the training yard entrance. Instructor Burnad had appeared at the edge of the field. He looked up at the sun, nodded to himself, and clapped his hands loudly.
"Alright! Starless, gather round!"
The conversation was over.
Se'raf stood and walked away without another word.
Ester stayed where she was, letting the truth she'd been avoiding finally take shape and breathe. She didn't know how long she stood there before her legs carried her toward the other's.
Burnad surveyed the Initiates one by one, pausing when his eyes met Ester's.
"You have now taken your first step into being recognised as a proper Synchrite," he said, voice heavy. "As a Synchrite, understand your luck...or misfortune. Your existence sets you apart. You will be outcast in some places and praised in others, but you will never fully belong in either. The only thing you'll ever control is how you choose to appear in both."
He almost said more. Ester saw it, a flicker of something in his stern expression, but he swallowed it.
His focus shifted past her.
"Is there something wrong, Starless Gideon."
Everyone turned. Gideon had been staring at Ester, as if contemplating something. It made her skin crawl.
When he realised he was the subject of attention, he blinked a few times before looking at Instructor Burnad."What?"
Burnad just shook his head and sighed.
"Today was a good day. Tomorrow is the weekend. No lectures, no training. After lunch you'll have the rest of the day off. And I'm sure you remember Instructor Markos's speech yesterday. Tomorrow evening is the Starless Banquet. Look your best. It will be a good opportunity to meet the others. Dismissed!"
Excited whispers and nervous chatter erupted as the Initiates hurried inside. Ester drifted with them, mind to busy replaying Se'raf and Jacen's words to worry about a banquet.
She was mid-thought when an arm dropped across her shoulders.
"Esterrr!"
Saphy. Appearing out of nowhere as always.
And then…
"Oh shi-"
Too late. The memory of Ester's fall hit her and Saphy practically jumped back as if Ester had the plague. Ester let out a tiny laugh.
"What did we learn?" she teased.
But Saphy never got an answer.
A thin, scratchy hesitant voice answered in her stead,
"U-um…Sapphire? Where are you going..? Can I… come too?"
Geire.
Saphy froze. Trembling at his voice. Her fingers dug into Ester's arm. Her breath turned sharp and uneven. Ester had never seen Saphy react like this, the same girl who radiated such endless kindness...afraid?
Ester stepped forward.
"We're heading to the Bathing Chambers. Perhaps another time?"
Geire's gaze slid to Ester, as though only now realising she existed. His green eyes were hollow, sleepless...wrong. The same coldness her uncles had once worn.
Something inside Ester recoiled.
He stared too long. Unmoving. Calculating.
Then he turned toward Saphy, desperation twisting into rage the moment she refused to look at him. He began chewing his thumb, whispering to himself as he did.
The air shifted.
Wind rose suddenly, spiralling around him like it obeyed his anger.
Flo manipulation.
It had to be. Ester could feel the air leaving her lungs, finding it harder and harder to breathe. She saw the gleam in his eyes, what once seemed dark and void now glowed brighter. His face contorted into a sadistic smile, pleasure curling through his expression as though he liked this. Liked watching them suffer.
It wasn't long before Ester was on her knees, one hand clasped to her throat. Saphy didn't appear to be as affected, but she couldn't scream. Only gasp.
"GEIRE!"
Before he could finish whatever he intended, Burnad appeared behind him, gripping his shoulder with a massive hand.
He leaned close to Geire's ear and whispered something.
The screaming winds died instantly.
Geire shrugged Burnad off with a violent twitch and stormed away. He walked a few paces, then turned, his expression softening at the sight of Saphy.
But when his eyes landed on Ester, his face filled with hate and disgust.
He walked away.
Burnad exhaled sharply. "You two alright?"
Saphy managed frantic nods. Ester only managed words after catching her breath. He helped her up.
"I'm fine...thank you."
"I am sorry you two had to go through that." Burnad's face hardening, "I would advise staying away from him...He's a ticking time bomb."
The warning was vague, but frighteningly clear.
Ester didn't need to be told twice. She already hated everything about Geire.
They didn't speak the whole walk to the Chambers. Saphy's silence made Ester's stomach knot. The cheerful girl was gone, replaced by someone hunched and haunted.
"Are you okay?" Ester tried. "Is it...about him?"
Saphy grimaced, staring at the floor before stopping entirely.
"...When I helped him earlier," she whispered. "When he fell like an idiot during the run."
Ester remembered.
"He started muttering. Scary...strange things. And it got worse as the day went on."
A chill crawled up Ester's spine.
"He was...listing the kids who laughed at him." Her voice cracked. "Said he wanted to rip their tongues out. Dismember them."
She hugged herself.
"He was laughing. Laughing to himself while he listed what he wanted to do. That's...that's not normal."
She wouldn't repeat the worst of it. Tears slipped free. Ester hugged her tightly. Geire terrified her too, especially now that she'd caught his attention.
"Chamber time?" Ester murmured. "Might do us both good."
The Bathing Chambers were a blessed shift.
The steam was thick and immediate, swallowing them whole. The sounds of other girls chatter, laughter and the slap of water on stone, were muffled, distant. Here, in the warm, clouded silence, the terror of the yard began to loosen its grip.
Saphy's awful, off-key singing started up softly from a nearby stall, and for the first time since Geire's attack and the training, Ester felt her shoulders relax. It wasn't peaceful, not really. But it was a different kind of noise. A human one.
Afterwards, clean and wrapped in fresh towels, they made their way to the Starless mess hall. The hall was packed, buzzing with chatter as a few high-Starred students monitored from the edges. The food, as Saphy described it, was just bleh. Not delicious, not awful. Just… bleh. Ester didn't complain. It was okay.
They split afterward. Saphy had been roped into exploring the HoS with her team, while Ester, after learning there was a library, wanted to see it. Saphy seemed oddly hesitant when Ester mentioned the library, but they agreed to meet back in the dorm later.
The library was inside the main HoS building. The massive brown doors groaned as she pulled them open.
And stopped.
The scent hit first, old parchment and leather, the smell of her father's study before everything fell apart. Then the sight…shelves stretching toward vaulted ceilings, Starred Synchrites in crisp uniforms browsing with ladders, light filtering through stained glass in colours she'd never seen in the dungeons.
Her throat tightened.
For once, she didn't feel like a murderer. Or a candidate. Or the ragged girl they'd dragged from darkness.
She felt like the girl who'd once spent entire afternoons lost in stories, the girl who'd existed before the necklace, before the blood.
She felt like Ester.
"Welcome to the HoS library!"
Ester nearly screamed.
A boy with enormous glasses and a thin frame stood grinning at her.
"I-uhm-"
"I've never seen you before," he said, tilting his head. "Zero Star, I presume?"
She nodded.
"Promising student, then! Name?"
"...Ester"
At her name, something flickered in his expression, curiosity tightening into apprehnsion, then smoothing back into politeness. Subtle. Almost too subtle.
"Nice to meet you, Starless Ester. I'm Cosmo, the one in charge of this library!"
He puffed out his chest.
"Looking for something specific?"
"No, just looking around. It's beautiful In here."
His glasses glinted with barely constrained excitement. "Then explore to your heart's content!"
She smiled before wandering into the labyrinth of shelves. After several minutes of quiet awe, she turned back to him.
"…What book would you recommend?
Cosmo froze, then lit up like a lantern.
"A recommendation? On your first visit? Oh, that's..hehe!"
He scrambled off, muttering to himself as he ran fingers over spines. He guided her past biographies and Church histories to a small alcove beneath stained glass.
"Forget Curriculum texts," he said. "Read something with soul."
He knelt, closed his eyes, dragged a finger across a row, and pulled out a book with a leather cover embossed with bronze leaves.
"A Tale of Sky and Ground. One of my absolute favourites. Two people, opposites in every way, forced to journey together to find their way back home...I can't say more than that. It's a masterpiece!"
He held it out with earnest, ridiculous hope.
Ester didn't realise she didn't actually have a choice.
She turned the book over, reading the back while standing in the alcove.
"Who are we without our memories? Who are we without our past? Would we have gotten so close if we didn't have them? The journey back to our home was made only enjoyable because of the stories we shared.
Without truth and honesty..who would we be?"
The words felt like they'd been written for her.
Cosmo stamped her name in his ledger-Starless Ester – A Tale of Sky and Ground – then waved her off with satisfaction.
The walk back to the Starless Dormitories was quiet. Walking passed the Main buildings square, she saw Starred Students chatting and laughing around her. Existing comfortably. Meanwhile Ester clutched her book like a shield.
The Truth hit her painfully.
She had no idea how to make friends.
Growing up isolated, then locked away for months, no wonder she preferred hiding to risking humiliation.
Hours passed. She was curled on the bottom bunk, deep into the story, when Saphy burst in laughing as she said goodbye to her friends. Ester didn't even realise.
"Heyyy!"
Ester lowered her book, revealing Saphy's wide hazel eyes and face pulled into an unnatural, funny look. Her heart jumped, sending her head bumping the top bunk. Saphy, though she found it hilarious, apologised profusely.
"You should've seen the look on your face!" she said between laughs. Ester found herself flustered, rolling her eyes. Glad, at least, to see her feeling better.
"Not. Funny," Ester muttered. "You almost gave me a heart attack."
"I made a racket coming in! What were you...oh." Saphy blinked at the thick book in Ester's hands. "You...can read?"
Ester frowned. "Is that something to be amazed by?"
Saphy recoiled as though the words had hit her. She turned away, fists trembling.
"I-I'm from the slums in the Capital," she said quietly. "Education costs more than living. Impossible. Something like that...wasn't for me. My mother said I was too dumb to learn away...that I was only destined to be someone's wife." She let out a sad laugh. "She called me useless because I was terrible at cooking."
Her voice shrank.
"But when they found out I was a Synchrite...suddenly I was seen as a blessing. A saviour."
She turned back, eyes steeled with soft resolve.
"So yes. It is something to be amazed by. Because its something thatnot a lot of us can do. And..and even though I may be dumb. I'll pass the Trials and I'll learn aswell."
Tears pricked her eyes. She wiped them away quickly.
Ester's face burned. How had she not thought before speaking?
"Saphy...I'm sorry. I misspoke"
"How could you have known, Miss Perfect Noble?" Saphy teased weakly. "What could you know about struggle.."
The words landed like a blow.
Ester flinched.
She looked to the side of her bed, where the book lay. She remembered the quote that had stuck with her.
Without Truth and honesty... who would we be?
Who was she without her past? Who was Saphy actually talking to?
She swallowed.
"Do you...know what happened in the capital? The murder?"
Saphy frowned. "The murder of the Archon in training? Of course. Horrible. But what does that-"
Ester's heart hammered.
"Saphy…"
Her voiced trembled.
"I killed him."