Yuchae explained on my behalf, since I was too flustered to react.
"I think you know it too… it's that overseas FPS online game called Team Black."
Finally coming to my senses, I tried to act nonchalant.
"I know. Never played it, but I've heard of it."
From what I knew, Team Black was an open-world FPS game where Team A and Team B killed each other and stole items. It was known for its hardcore difficulty and realistic graphics, and it was pretty popular among Korean players.
"I played it for a bit… and I ran into someone with the nickname 'SoSleepy'. He was a toxic player—verbal abuse over voice chat was the norm, and he didn't stop with family insults or teabagging either."
"Damn…"
"I started targeting him on purpose and killed him a few times, and from the next match, he started landing headshots with his first bullet every time. I figured he turned on cheats. FPS games are full of hackers, so I just let it go."
"And you thought that jerk was me?"
"I started a fight with you on purpose to check if you were really that guy."
A headache crept in from the absurdity of the story, and I pressed a hand to my forehead. Just like I had doubted Yuchae and Chae Yujeong, was Yuchae also doubting if I was the same person as some toxic gamer she had met online?
"But when we fought, you were way too good. I thought I'd beat you easily. Honestly, if we're being technical, I pretty much lost. I had a higher level and better items, but barely managed to win."
I rubbed my temples as I listened, frowning at the long stream of compliments about my gameplay. I didn't understand why she was getting excited over my skill.
"That's it? You cleared your suspicion just because of my skill?"
"Your skill and your personality. Plus, we did that raid on Discord a few days later, remember? Your skill, personality, even your voice—all completely different. How could I keep suspecting you after that?"
"What about when you suddenly changed your tune after hearing I was a Grandmaster in HeoRe?"
"Well… I thought that if you were actually a Grandmaster in HeoRe, you wouldn't even have time to play another game. And when I looked up SoSleepy's profile on Team Black, it said over 2,000 hours of playtime. It's almost impossible for one person to play both games that much."
"..."
So someone I happened to share a nickname with turned out to be a toxic player, and that led Yuchae to suspect me.
Honestly, if I were in her position, I'd probably want to make sure a toxic player wasn't joining the guild too.
Even so, I couldn't shake this uneasy feeling. Was it just me?
"Sorry for doubting you, hyung. I should've told you sooner, but I was scared you'd be disappointed in me."
Her voice came through calmly over the headset. I sighed quietly so she wouldn't hear, then raised my head.
"It's fine. I was a little caught off guard, but it's not like it doesn't make sense."
"It all got weird because of my mistake at first… but after hanging out with you, I've genuinely grown to like you as a person. Everything I've said or done around you has been sincere."
"…You say things like that so easily. Aren't you embarrassed?"
"You're my hyung—who cares?"
"Anyway, got it. I probably startled you too by suddenly bringing up the past. Sorry about that."
"No, it's okay. Honestly, I was able to answer more comfortably because you asked first. Oh, and also…"
Yuchae hesitated for a moment before speaking again.
"…I won't really have time to play games anymore."
"What?"
"Something's come up starting next week. I'm going to get really busy, so I won't be able to play or stay in touch much."
My mind instantly became a tangled mess, and at the same time, I was speechless.
She suddenly has something going on, so she can't play games anymore? Just like that? She spent the whole day playing Zenoris today, and now this?
"…Still, I'm glad I could clear up the misunderstanding before quitting."
"Wait—hold on. You're quitting for real? Zenoris, I mean?"
"If I have some free time, I might log in, but I don't think it'll be easy. I already told Muljom. By tomorrow, he'll probably be the new guild master."
"..."
She'd already tied up all the loose ends.
She was fully prepared to quit the game—and I had no idea what to say to someone who had made up their mind like that. Pathetically, I even felt a weird sense of betrayal.
Feeling betrayed by someone quitting a game because they got busy with real life… what a joke.
It was so embarrassing, I wouldn't even be able to admit it out loud. The headache I'd been feeling only grew worse.
I barely managed to swallow the emotion that had risen to the back of my throat. After a long silence and inner struggle, I finally let out the most neutral yet sincere words I could manage.
"…That's a shame."
"Same here. I won't be able to log in, but I'll message you now and then."
Yuchae, smiling brightly as if unaware of how I felt, cheerfully said goodbye with a relieved expression.
"Take care, hyung."
＊＊＊
At the end of November, the colder the days grew, the heavier the load of assignments became.
It was already well past 9 p.m. Someone tapped me on the shoulder as I sat focused on my assignments, the darkness pressing against the windows behind me.
"Yujihan, take a break."
Kim Daeseok motioned toward the hallway with a nod of his chin. Behind him was Eun Haeseong.
We grabbed some drinks from the vending machine and headed to the smoking area. As Daeseok popped open a can, he glanced over at me while I pulled out a cigarette.
"You okay?"
"What do you mean."
"You haven't seemed like yourself lately."
Eun Haeseong, who also pulled out a cigarette beside me, nodded with a sparkle in his eye.
"He's right. Every time I see you, your face is all twisted. If you're gonna waste that face like that, give it to me."
"People who used to smile and greet you now just glance your way and keep walking. Loosen up a little."
With a dry laugh, I pressed my fingers hard into my furrowed brow. They were right—I had been walking around with a scowl.
"My head's been hurting a lot lately."
"You're not overdoing it?"
"These assignments are hell. At this rate, I might as well get buried on campus."
Though Haeseong grumbled, I couldn't bring myself to agree.
Because the real cause of the headache wasn't the assignments.
The day after our conversation, Yuchae handed the guild master role over to Muljom and never logged in again. The vice master role went to Haereun.
"She said she'd be busy starting next week…"
Yuchae had logged off after saying goodbye on Saturday and didn't come back on Sunday. I stayed logged into the game all day, waiting for her to show up.
The same went for messages. She used to send me silly texts several times a day, whining whenever I left her on read. But after Saturday, she went completely silent.
I kept debating whether I should message her first—but her voice, brightly telling me to "take care," kept ringing in my ears and stopped me every time.
"Shit…"
I exhaled smoke and muttered the same curse I'd been repeating for the last four days.
Why the hell was I feeling so shitty? All she did was quit a game to focus on real life. We were close in-game, sure, but it's not like she died. Why couldn't I stop thinking about her?
I was swamped with stuff to do—barely keeping up. And yet…
"You don't look so good. You should take a break. Still, from the looks of it, you've finished most of your assignments. Don't push yourself."
Kim Daeseok, who had downed his drink in two gulps like it was nothing, tossed the empty can into the bin and spoke with concern.
Do I really look that bad? I instinctively brushed my hand across my lips.
"I've just got a lot on my mind lately. But I'm fine now."
Yeah. Thinking any more about Yuchae was pointless. She found her own path—no reason for me to dwell on it.
"I'm gonna go make a call."
Eun Haeseong put out his cigarette and walked off with his phone, leaving the smoking area. As he faded from view, Daeseok glanced after him, then sidled up next to me and lowered his voice.
"Hey… hey. Is this about that thing?"
"What thing?"
"You know, that time you asked me… if that early-evening guild master and that girl had the same vibe. Were they actually the same person? Is that what's got you like this?"
"..."
My hand trembled slightly around the cigarette. I heard both voices in my head: Chae Yujeong asking for more time, and Yuchae telling me to take care.
"…No. They're not related. I misunderstood."
"Right? I figured. No way they'd be the same person in real life."
Daeseok was right. It had all been a misunderstanding.
If it were the old me, I might've wondered if "something came up" meant she was going pro as an e-sports player or something.
But now I knew better. I had proof. And I didn't have the energy left to keep clinging to delusions.
"Whatever it was, I hope it worked out. C'mon, let's go back in. Haeseong'll catch up on his own."
With a yawn and a stretch, Daeseok walked back into the building like some old man. I followed behind and checked my phone as we went.
[Chae Yujeong: Are you on campus again today, hyung?]
[Chae Yujeong: Did you eat dinner?]
[Chae Yujeong: Not asking to eat together or anything! Just worried!]
[Chae Yujeong: (emoji)]
[Chae Yujeong: Are you really busy again tomorrow..?]
Between group chats and casual check-ins, her messages stood out more than anything.
I hovered my hand over the screen, hesitating for a long moment.
But in the end, I slipped the phone back into my coat pocket without replying.
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