A hawk cries high above Sasuke's head. He looks up, squinting in the light of the bright summer sun, and lets out a low whistle when he sees the black pouch tied around its back. The bird circles as it descends. It lands at Sasuke's feet, its talons scratching up the dirt road as it shuffles from foot to foot.
Sasuke undoes the clasp of the pouch and pulls out the small scroll tucked inside. It isn't uncommon for Kakashi to send him on missions (or wild goose chases) with a missive from a messenger hawk, but it is strange that the scroll is so small.
He unfurls the message and shoves down the sudden wave of apprehension he feels when he sees that Kakashi's message is no more than three sentences long.
Sasuke,
I'm sure Naruto has already told you, but he and Hyuuga Hinata have become engaged. The ceremony will take place in the spring.
The Chunin Exam is coming up in the next few weeks if you'd like to come back to Konoha to see how things are faring.
— Kakashi
Sasuke is frozen in place as he stares down at the parchment. It feels like all the air has been sucked from his lungs. His hands are wet and clammy as he holds the message in a death grip that threatens to tear the thick parchment.
His eyes twitch between the words Naruto, engaged, and ceremony.
The feeling that courses through him like a flash flood can only be described as an all-consuming, inescapable horror so palpable that, if he didn't know better, he'd think he were trapped in a genjutsu.
He pauses. It takes him several seconds to decide that it's better to be safe than sorry, and he turns his hand to lift two fingers in front of him. He's barely able to rasp out a grating, "Release," before sucking in another sharp breath between his teeth.
It's a disappointment, really. Being trapped in a genjutsu would have been far more preferable than the inescapability of reality.
Kakashi must be mistaken. Naruto wouldn't be engaged. Not after what happened in the ruins of the Valley of the End and the unspoken dance they've been doing around each other for the last two years.
But no. The distinct lack of a henohenomoheji scrawled beside Kakashi's name tells him that this is not a dream but evidence of how seriously his former mentor is taking the situation.
The shortness of breath is manageable, but the flash of white-hot anger is not. The phrase 'I'm sure Naruto has already told you' turns his blood to ice, only melted when it comes into contact with his burning fury.
Because no.
Naruto had not told him that.
He had no idea Naruto and this—this Hinata person were even together.
He vaguely remembers a girl with that name back when they were kids. One with short, black hair, lavender Hyuuga eyes, and a penchant for blushing at even the slightest glance from Naruto.
Sasuke's fingers twitch. He crushes the note in his hand without thinking and lets out a low curse. He does his best to smooth it back out with only one hand, but his blood pressure is still rising.
Married? He's getting married?
He drops the crumpled parchment to the ground and hears the sharp chirp of electricity before he even realizes he's activated a jutsu. Chidori sparks in his right hand, and he punches a hole straight through the large oak tree to his left. The wood cracks as if struck by lightning, exploding into a shower of splinters and firewood.
Sasuke clenches his jaw so tightly that he fears he might chip a tooth. His fingernails dig into his palm until it cuts. The physical pain is easier to feel than the betrayal building inside of him.
He pants heavily as he tries to rationalize what the hell Naruto is doing, marrying someone else. After everything Naruto has said and done, this is who he's choosing to spend the rest of his life with? Some random girl that Sasuke can barely remember? Someone who isn't—
Sasuke releases another Chidori. It's petulant and destructive, but Sasuke has never claimed to be anything else.
After two years of good behavior, he allows his fury to fuel him. He completely ravages the countryside, making sure to steer clear of any homesteads and wildlife. He uses up his chakra like a lit match, burning through his energy as quickly and efficiently as he can so his mind will finally calm the fuck down.
He can feel the electricity still crackling in the air by the time he's finished. Split trunks and tinder litter the ground all around him, the wood charred and smelling like a bonfire.
He pants in exhaustion, and the muscles in his arm and legs tremble as he slumps down to sit on the forest floor.
He's getting married. How is he getting married?
His heart feels caught in his throat. He thought that Naruto knew how he felt. He thought that he felt the same.
He thought that, after their final battle in the Valley of the End, they'd come to an understanding. That they were in agreement.
It's a betrayal that strikes deep. It pierces his heart, pinning him in place, unable to move without feeling the pain reverberating around the injury to affect his entire being.
Why? Why, why, why—?
If he were a lesser man, he'd scream. Fortunately, Sasuke's a mature adult who, at nineteen years old and having traveled the continent on his own for two years, is more than capable of channeling his emotions in a healthy manner.
He recalls the last line of Kakashi's letter: The Chunin Exam is coming up in the next few weeks if you'd like to come back to Konoha to see how things are faring.
It's as blatant an invitation as the Rokudaime can give him without directly ordering Sasuke to come. It softens Sasuke's stalwart anger just a little bit to know that his former teacher is giving him the option to accept or decline.
He ignores the ache in his thighs as he pulls himself up to his feet and returns to where the messenger hawk is still waiting on the ground, preening itself. Sasuke pulls another piece of parchment and a pen from his pack and writes back another line in return.
Kakashi,
Give me a week to prepare.
The week of preparation is primarily mental. Yes, Sasuke needs to leave the Land of Water and gather supplies for the journey, but more than that, he needs to gather himself if he's going to see Naruto again.
The first few days are the best. He can stew in his hurt and anger, vowing to confront Naruto the first chance he gets and pummel him into the ground. The anger is familiar; it feels good to soak in his fury and lash out at something or someone.
The latter half of the week is the worst. The days when it hits him that Naruto really did move on to someone else and leave him behind. It's made all the worse when he thinks about how long Naruto must have been with this girl and never told him.
Sasuke knows that Naruto loves him. That they have a relationship unlike anything he'll ever forge with somebody else.
But the fact that Naruto was lying by omission to him every single day for what must be months, if not years, is what does him in.
The only reason he eats despite everything tasting like ash in his mouth is because he knows he needs the energy, and he refuses to willfully lose strength because of some stupid boy.
He hasn't told Naruto that he's returning to Konoha. They've been exchanging letters regularly, with Naruto sending him nearly three times the amount of information Sasuke typically returns, but Naruto didn't find it pertinent to inform him about a major, life-changing event, so Sasuke sees no reason to tell him about an incidental return to the village. He can find out Sasuke is back when he sees him leaping from roof to roof.
Sasuke makes quick work of passing through the front gates and slipping around the busier streets of Konoha to reach the Hokage Tower. The waning sunlight gives him a respite from being noticed immediately, something Sasuke is immensely grateful for.
The people of Konoha have little love for him, and he holds little for them in return. He doesn't expect forgiveness, and he doesn't want forgiveness. The only thing he truly misses about Konoha is his ability to walk through the streets without attracting the gazes of everyone around him.
In truth, there's only one real reason that makes returning to the village every few months worth his time.
Sasuke leaps down from the rooftops to land elegantly at the entrance of the stone walls that surround Hokage Tower, offering a bit of privacy from the rest of the village. He nods to the two guards standing at attention on either side of the double doors and says, "I'm here on orders from the Hokage."
The eyes of the guards flit down his frame, quickly assessing and recognizing him as Uchiha Sasuke, both the bane and savior of the shinobi world.
They obediently pull open the two doors, and Sasuke strides past to make his way up to the Hokage's desk. His heart pounds in his chest, but he maintains his flat, stoic demeanor, forcing himself to walk as if he doesn't have a care in the world.
He takes a deep breath in through his nose and gives a sharp rap on the door to Kakashi's office.
"Come in," Kakashi's low, mellow voice calls out from inside.
Sasuke obeys swiftly, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. He gives a short nod in respect to the Hokage and offers a grumbled, "Kakashi."
"Ah, Sasuke, I was wondering when you'd show up," Kakashi greets warmly, his arms crossed over his desk, the head-covering marking him as Hokage settled on a stack of papers piled up on the table behind him. "I trust that your journey here was… something. Have you settled a bit?"
The corner of Sasuke's mouth twitches. "I don't understand what you mean."
Kakashi clicks his tongue but doesn't push. Sasuke is grateful for the small mercy.
"So, what brings you here, Sasuke?" Kakashi hums, leaning back in his chair and leveling Sasuke with those sharp, ever-perceptive eyes.
"… You requested I return to assist with the Chunin Exam."
"I don't recall that."
"You sent me a letter," Sasuke says flatly, irritation nipping at his tone. "You wrote that the Chunin Exam would be taking place soon, and to return to the village and assess."
Kakashi crosses his arms over his chest. "Yes, yes, I did say that they were starting up, didn't I? But I don't remember directly ordering you back here… Curious."
Sasuke runs his tongue over his teeth. Kakashi has always been a bit of a tease, but Sasuke isn't in the mood to be toyed with.
"We would be honored to have you assist with the exam," Kakashi continues, his voice taking on a more earnest tone. "Shikamaru is in a meeting with the other proctors as we speak; you can find him once he's out. You'd offer helpful insight into the exams, and I expect that they'll offer you a position as another proctor for Konoha."
"Thank you, Kakashi," Sasuke mumbles with a small sigh.
Kakashi's eyes flit up and down his frame. "Have you given Naruto your congratulations yet?"
The silence that fills the room is sharp and thin, like a pane of glass that could threaten to shatter at any moment.
"No," Sasuke says with as little emotion as he can manage. "No, I have not."
"Oh, really? Why is that?"
"I haven't seen him since I arrived. I came here first."
Kakashi tilts his head. "I'm sure that a letter would have sufficed."
"He didn't find it important to inform me of his situation himself. I assumed it would be proper to return the favor."
Kakashi blinks at him, letting the tense silence return.
His eyes drift down Sasuke's face, clearly looking for any indication that he isn't taking this news well. Sasuke is confident in his ability to present himself as cold, nonchalant, and unfeeling in his worst moods, but he's always stumbled when it comes to Naruto.
Kakashi's chair squeaks as he sits up straight, reorganizing the papers strewn about his desk. "I see. Well, you'll have the perfect opportunity to tell him exactly what you think when he arrives; he's another one of my assistants when he's not out on missions, as you well know, and has been playing the role of errand boy between Iruka-sensei, Shikamaru, and me while we figure out the details of the exams—"
"Kakashi-sensei, Kakashi-sensei!" a loud voice crows from the other side of the door before bursting open to reveal Sasuke's most inescapable weakness. "Kakashi-sensei, I have the notes from today's meeting with the other proctors! Iruka-sensei said to take them straight to you and not take any detours at Ichiraku, even though I was so hungry and that meeting was so long—"
Naruto's voice quickly breaks off when he sees that his former team leader isn't alone. His bright blue eyes seem to bulge from their sockets as he takes in Sasuke standing in the center of the room, slowly roaming up and down his body before settling on his face.
His voice is no more than a hoarse rasp when he whispers his name. "… Sasuke…"
The sound of Naruto's tongue curling around the shape of Sasuke's name sends a shiver down his spine.
Naruto looks good.
He always looks good, but he looks especially good right now, much to Sasuke's horror. His style has never wavered from black and orange, although he's lost the tracksuit and replaced it with a black long-sleeved shirt and orange pants. He'd cut his golden hair short when Sasuke had first left Konoha, but when Sasuke had told him that the haircut was doing a better job of displaying his forehead wrinkles than it was conveying wisdom, Naruto had let it regrow, even though his headband would be covering any so-called wrinkles he might have.
He's been slowly growing it out over the last two years, but the style is new. The sides have been buzzed close to his scalp into an undercut while the top still maintains the length from their youth, falling softly over his forehead and framing his face.
It suits him, Sasuke admires silently.
"Naruto," he forces the greeting out.
The smile that stretches across Naruto's face is nothing but dazzling. He lets out a delighted laugh before launching himself across the room at Sasuke.
"You didn't tell me you were coming back today!" Naruto shouts, falling easily back into the familiar comfort of Sasuke's presence. "What's up, what are you doing here? Why are you back?"
"Aren't you worried about getting a noise complaint?" Sasuke grumbles, fiercely fighting back the smile that threatens to pull at his lips. "Seriously, you're so damn loud—"
"Sasuke is here to help out with the Chunin Exams, Naruto. I asked him to partner with you specifically in proctoring the exams," Kakashi cuts in with an exasperated sigh.
There's a flare of anger in Sasuke's gut as he whirls around to stare at Kakashi, his Sharingan flashing for a moment before dimming back down to their usual deep black.
You absolutely did not say anything of the sort, you meddler.
"Kakashi-sensei, why didn't you tell me he was coming back!" Naruto whines, eyebrows furrowing tight across his forehead. "I've been asking for updates on him for days! Whatever, I'm just glad that I'll get a few weeks with you, usually you only stay for a couple of days—"
Sasuke's stomach churns at the thought of staying in close proximity to Naruto for more than a single hour, his elation at seeing his friend quickly dying back when he realizes that things have changed.
Sasuke might still be Naruto's, but Naruto isn't technically his anymore.
Something hot and possessive takes hold of him, an intrinsic desire to reclaim Naruto, to refuse to let him go and allow him to marry that Hyuuga girl. He wants to pin Naruto to the wall and mark up his skin with his mouth, to show that no matter how desperately anyone tries to cut a ravine through them, their bond will always reroute and find another way to each other.
But then he remembers that Naruto chose this. He chose to marry Hinata, he chose to propose to her, he chose to deny Sasuke what they both know should be his.
Instead of throwing a tantrum like a child, Sasuke swallows his pride and envy and growls, "I'm going to go check in with Shikamaru and Iruka-sensei. I'll leave both of you to it."
Naruto quickly tosses the papers he'd been holding down onto Kakashi's desk and spins to face him. "Wait, hold on, Sasuke, I'll come with you—"
"No, Naruto, I need you to stay here," Kakashi says, quickly shutting down Naruto's excitement. "I need you to relay the information from the meeting. Sasuke is a big boy, he's more than capable of finding those two on his own."
"Just because he can do it alone doesn't mean that he has to—"
"It's fine, Naruto," Sasuke grumbles through clenched teeth, grateful that Kakashi has offered up an acceptable excuse to run away from his current problem. "Stay here."
Naruto's frown deepens into a pout, but he doesn't let his disappointment keep him down for long. He points a finger at Sasuke and chirps, "Fine, but we're going to Ichiraku after! I'll even treat you with my fancy new paycheck as an assistant to the Hokage; how about that?"
"I don't really want—"
"And I refuse to take no for an answer." Naruto turns his head away, eyes shut as if Sasuke's rejection doesn't exist if he can't see his face. "Go say hi to Shikamaru. He's got some big things planned that I think you'll really like."
Sasuke narrows his eyes, taking note of the small smile that begins to lift the corner of Naruto's mouth.
Sasuke grinds his teeth. "Fine. Come find me after you're done, but don't interrupt me."
"I have a little bit of experience in trying to hunt you down, so I don't think that will be a problem," Naruto says with a crooked smirk.
If Sasuke had heard that sort of comment more than a week ago, his heart would have melted. But now, it just leaves bitterness on his tongue.
You chased me to the ends of the earth, once. I believed that meant something.
Sasuke bites his tongue as he turns away. He's careful not to slam the door on his way out, but he wants to scream.
… Was the thrill gone once you finally had me?
Sasuke hears maybe every third word Shikamaru says. He gives Sasuke a basic rundown of how each phase is set up and the traits the proctors will be looking for in the applicants. Sasuke nods along as if he's understanding any of it, but his mind is cluttered with the problems ruining his personal life.
It's probably not the best first impression he could have made after not speaking to Shikamaru in nearly six months—especially when the newly promoted jounin isn't exactly his biggest fan—but Shikamaru has been nothing but professional despite Sasuke's obvious lack of focus.
It's only once Sasuke asks for clarification for the fifth time that Shikamaru finally grumbles, "Are you even listening? I said we want to see if the applicants are fighting not to lose or if they're fighting to win. That's the entire purpose of the second phase."
"Right, I know that," Sasuke says with a click of his tongue, lightly shaking his head as if that will clear his turbulent thoughts. "I'm just… distracted. Long journey back."
"I bet you are…" Shikamaru hums to himself, just loud enough that Sasuke can hear.
Sasuke narrows his eyes, his hackles immediately raised. Shikamaru has the intelligence of ten S-rank shinobi combined. Everything he says has an eagle-eyed level of awareness behind it, and he doesn't often offer commentary flippantly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sasuke says with a slight growl in his voice.
"It means whatever you think it means." Shikamaru rolls his eyes, turning back to where Iruka is still sitting at one of the tables, gnawing at the pencil trapped between his teeth as he reviews the notes from the meeting.
Shikamaru sighs. "Sensei, go home."
"Oh, Shikamaru!" Iruka jerks his head up as if he's just noticed their presence. "I wish I could, but I still have to write up everything we've decided on today in an official proposal, as well as finish reorganizing the files we've pulled from past exams—"
"You've been here since dawn trying to make sure everything runs smoothly. I can handle putting everything away, as well as the write-up. Go home."
It's a rather blunt tone to take with their former teacher, one that Sasuke hadn't expected from Shikamaru, but Iruka doesn't seem to mind. With him acting as an advisor to the Hokage and Shikamaru as the Hokage's assistant, it makes sense that they'd be familiar with each other.
Iruka gives Shikamaru a flat look, but he doesn't do more than click his tongue in disapproval. "Alright, alright. You can put the files back, but I'll be the one completing the proposal."
Shikamaru sighs. "Finish it up at home at the very least."
"Scolding me like you're the teacher and I'm the student… Is this my punishment for being harsh back when you were at the academy?"
"It's not like you ever scolded me; the only real problem students you had were Naruto and Sasuke."
"Just Naruto," Sasuke interjects. "I didn't act out unless he goaded me into it."
"He always was able to get a rise out of you," Iruka chuckles with a fond smile as he pushes himself up and out of his chair. "Alright, I'll leave you to it, Shikamaru. Don't stay up too late."
"I should be the one telling you that," Shikamaru retorts. "And don't stop by Hokage Tower. Kakashi-sensei will keep you there forever if you do."
Iruka sighs, although he doesn't seem too upset by the idea. "That man does tend to talk people's ears off, doesn't he?"
"If you say so," Shikamaru mumbles with a flat expression. He turns to look at Sasuke over his shoulder and says, "You should head home, too. I can't imagine you'll be particularly helpful tonight with all your… exhaustion. Go rest up and come back tomorrow with your head on straight."
Sasuke doesn't like the implication of his words, but he can't argue against it. He's hardly been present tonight.
"I'll be back in the morning," he grumbles through gritted teeth and takes his leave without another word.
The lights of Konoha's downtown burn red behind the paper lanterns strung up around the different storefronts in celebration of the exams, but Sasuke sticks to the darker alleyways. He's certain that Naruto will find him whether he wants him to or not, but at the very least he can attempt to slink his way as close to the Uchiha compound as he can get before rejecting the offer for dinner.
Sasuke bites the inside of his cheek. It isn't strange for him and Naruto to go for a bowl at Ichiraku during his brief returns to the village, but Sasuke doesn't feel particularly eager to have a nice dinner with an engaged man he'd rather have for himself.
There's a soft patter of feet on the roof to his left, and Sasuke's pulse kicks up on instinct. Naruto leaps down from the shingles with a small thunk on the cobblestones, his smile already beaming with excitement.
"What are you doing lurking through here?" Naruto asks with a small tilt of his head. "I know you don't really like attention, but you usually use the rooftops to get around instead of the side roads."
Sasuke turns his head to stare at the paper lanterns. "I decided on a whim."
"Oh. Well, are you hungry? I'm starving, I've been craving that miso ramen all day—"
"Actually," Sasuke interjects, his brow furrowed slightly, "I'm not really in the mood for dinner. I already ate, and I just want to rest after traveling all week."
The loud grumble that resounds in Sasuke's stomach couldn't have been timed any better. It echoes in the alleyway, and Sasuke clamps his mouth shut.
Naruto lets out a bright laugh. "Oh, yeah? Well, tell that to the monster in your belly. C'mon, I said I wasn't taking no for an answer."
He turns around and heads out into the warm light of the lanterns, not bothering to look behind him and make sure that Sasuke is actually following.
Sasuke rolls his eyes.
I could just escape right now and head back to the compound. That idiot wouldn't know any better until he's already at the restaurant.
His feet carry him to Naruto. The street is busy with the growing nightlife, and Sasuke is grateful for the high collar of his cloak, sinking into it to avoid unnecessary eye contact with anyone they might come across.
"Why are you so far away from me?" Naruto's voice drags him away from his thoughts. "You're practically on the other side of the street."
Sasuke looks at the empty space between them. It's no more than two feet.
"Are you stupid?" he scoffs. "Actually, don't reply to that, I already know the answer."
"I'm being serious!"
"Naruto, I'm right next to you."
"No, you're not!" Naruto hisses, crossing his arms over his chest as he glares at Sasuke. "You never walk this far away from me."
Sasuke rolls his eyes. "Whatever, weirdo. I can put even more distance between us and go back to the compound if—"
"No, no, no, that's not allowed, I want you to get ramen with me!"
There's a flame of satisfaction that licks at Sasuke's heart at the sound of Naruto's plea. He turns his face away from him, watching the other pedestrians meander down the cobblestone pathway, laughing and bartering along the sidewalk.
"Fine. But only because you said you'd pay."
Naruto lets out a soft chuckle and closes the space between them himself until their shoulders almost brush. Sasuke's breath hitches, and it only pisses him off more. If he hadn't known Naruto was engaged, he wouldn't be acting like some stupid, lovesick idiot. He'd find quiet pleasure in Naruto's presence, simply enjoying their time together instead of over-analyzing every single look and touch.
Fucking pull it together, Uchiha.
"So, where have you been?" Naruto asks curiously, still watching Sasuke out of the corner of his eye. "Any exciting missions Kakashi-sensei has sent you on?"
"Not particularly."
There's a short moment of silence before Naruto grumbles, "That's it? Nothing else you want to say?"
"What do you expect me to say? If there's nothing interesting, then there's nothing interesting."
"Well, then tell me about the boring missions!"
"Why?"
"Because I'm deeply invested in the complexities of D-rank mission results—it's because I want to know what you've been up to!"
Sasuke slides his gaze to Naruto, who's still watching him intently. "Why do you care?"
"… Are you being serious right now?" Naruto splutters, his face twisting in confusion. "Why the hell wouldn't I care?"
"I don't know." Sasuke looks away with a shrug, keeping his face expressionless. "You tell me."
The silence returns, but Naruto doesn't give a single inkling that he should maybe give Sasuke a teensy bit of space. He leans in closer, eyes narrowed, as he stares at Sasuke's face.
"Are you mad at me?"
"Whatever would I possibly be mad at you for, Naruto?" Sasuke growls it out as a statement more than a question.
"I don't know, you get upset with me all the time!"
Sasuke rolls his eyes.
Naruto frowns. "Is that why you didn't tell me you were coming back? Because you're mad at me?"
"I don't owe you every single detail of my life, Naruto. Why does it matter if I don't tell you some trivial piece of information like that?"
Sasuke does his best not to feel guilty when Naruto flinches as if he's been swung at. Sasuke supposes that, in a way, he has.
It isn't trivial. They both know it isn't.
They arrive at Ichiraku just in time. Or exactly at the wrong time, depending on perspective.
Teuchi greets Naruto like he's his favorite child, and Naruto plasters on a smile, asking for a table for two. While his smile is genuine more often than not, it's also become a mask that slides far too easily onto his face when dealing with other people.
Sasuke doesn't bother hiding his furrowed brow and twisted expression. He's not known for being pleasant, and he won't lie just to make some stranger more comfortable.
They take their seats, and after ten seconds of weird, stubborn silence, Sasuke opts for another tactic to try and coax the information out of Naruto.
"What about you? What's new in your life that you haven't already written to me about at length?"
Naruto purses his lips, his beaten-down expression turning more frustrated than sad. His voice is all snark as he says, "Why do you care?"
Well, there goes that olive branch.
Sasuke rests his elbow on the table and leans his chin atop his hand, looking out at the people dining around them. "Fine, don't tell me."
It takes Naruto approximately five seconds to crack.
"Well, if you must know," Naruto drawls, his lip curled into a sneer, "Kakashi-sensei just sent me on a diplomatic mission to finalize Gaara's arrival for the third phase of the Chunin Exams. He'll be here later this week."
"Sounds thrilling."
"Don't be an ass."
"I'm always an ass."
"I mean even more of an ass."
Sasuke purses his lips to keep from smiling. "Anything else happen?"
"Uhhhhh, good question…" Naruto sucks on his teeth for a moment, eyebrows scrunched up as he wracks his brain for any new information. "Sakura has her own set of medical shinobi working under her now. Granny Tsunade said that she's ready to teach her own class."
Sasuke runs his tongue over his teeth. "Good for her."
"The meeting today was also so boring. I was paying attention to about half of it before maybe, sort of, zoning out—"
"Shocker."
"Shut up."
Sasuke opens his mouth, the words make me on the tip of his tongue, but he squashes them between his teeth before they can be uttered. That sort of banter is distinctly flirty, and Naruto is distinctly unavailable.
Sasuke runs his tongue over his teeth, watching as Naruto runs a hand through his tousled blonde hair.
Sasuke bites his lip.
Naruto hasn't said a single word about Hinata so far. He hasn't even mentioned the fact that he's been seeing someone, let alone for long enough that she's worth marrying in the spring. If he's so eager to be married to this girl, shouldn't he be excitedly yapping about her to anyone who will listen?
The fact that he's being so secretive about it feels like an admission of guilt in itself.
It makes Sasuke's blood boil.
"Order up!" Teuchi calls out before settling two bowls in front of them, a chipper smile shining bright on his face. "Eat up, you two!"
Naruto claps his hands together in thanks and doesn't hesitate to dig in. He shovels mouthful after mouthful into his open maw, completely clueless to the fire burning in Sasuke's gut.
"Fuck, that's good," Naruto groans, crudely slurping up another noodle. "Aren't you gonna eat, Sasuke? Your stomach was growling earlier, you've gotta be hungry."
Why aren't you telling me?
Sasuke keeps his mouth to himself and consumes his meal like a civilized shinobi with calm, properly portioned bites.
They eat in silence. Naruto tries to make conversation a couple of times, but Sasuke either replies with a singular grunt or leaves him in complete silence. The clear disinterest in conversation is getting to Naruto, though. He stuffs bite after bite into his mouth more quickly than the one before, with each unanswered question left hanging suspended in the air.
He finally lifts his bowl to his mouth and slurps the broth down before uttering a loud blech.
"Gross," Sasuke finally scoffs. "Have a little class—"
"What the fuck is your problem?"
The anger in Naruto's voice takes Sasuke by surprise, but he doesn't take the bait. He enjoys another helping of bamboo shoots, taking his time chewing before answering, "I don't know what you're talking about."
Naruto scowls at him from across the table, his arms crossing over the wood grain. "Yes you do, stop lying. You've been acting weird ever since you arrived. What's going on?"
The muscle in Sasuke's jaw flexes as he grinds his teeth together.
He'd rather die than admit that he's being difficult because he's hurt, and angry, and jealous—so jealous that he wants to mar Naruto's neck with his teeth so that the next time his fiancée kisses him he'll already be covered in the proof that he was Sasuke's long before he was ever hers—but the worst part is that he wants to tell Naruto all of this. He wants to spill his guts to Naruto until they pile up on the restaurant floor, covering him in the disgusting ichor of his envy and wrath.
He knows Naruto wouldn't hold it against him. Naruto has never held any of Sasuke's sins against him, even when Sasuke had them pointed against his own throat.
"It's nothing," he says instead. It's a pathetic, transparent lie that will placate neither of them, but he still says it all the same. "I'm just tired."
Naruto bristles at the blatant dismissal. "You're lying, you're still lying—why are you lying to me? I thought we got past this!"
"Got past what, Naruto?" Sasuke snaps. "Got past trying to kill each other? That's a pretty low bar you've set, but I guess for us it's a harder standard to follow than for most people."
Naruto's chair skids across the wooden floor as he lunges forward, and, for a moment, Sasuke thinks he's going to hit him. His blood thrums beneath his skin, heart pounding in his chest at the thought of giving in to the desire to hurt and be hurt, to feel something physical instead of something psychological.
Instead, Naruto presses his hand flat against Sasuke's forehead, pushing aside his shroud of ebony hair for skin-on-skin contact.
"Are you sick or something? Even when you're exhausted, you never admit it, especially not to me." His face is twisted in concern, and it only makes Sasuke feel worse.
He flinches away from the warm, gentle touch of Naruto's hand before he can think twice about it.
Naruto's eyes widen at the rejection. The anger from earlier comes back in full force as he snarls, "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on! You've never recoiled from me like that! Not since—"
"I'm a grown man, Naruto, I don't need you to repeatedly press me for an answer like I'm a child when I obviously don't want to talk about it!"
"I'm just worried about you, and I want to fix it!" Naruto's voice cracks.
"Well, I never asked you to worry about me!" Sasuke spits the words out like a cornered animal strikes at a helping hand. "Can't you just leave me alone for once?"
Sasuke's throat feels tight as he watches the pain in those sky blue eyes turn to rain. Naruto looks like he's about to cry right then and there, but he's able to restrain himself. The only thing preventing the rainfall is his own pride.
Naruto runs his tongue across his teeth, sucking in a sharp breath to re-center himself. "Fine. I still don't have a single fucking clue why you're so upset with me."
Sasuke pushes himself to his feet, unable to stay in such a confined space any longer. He tosses some ryo on the table and growls, "Then figure it out, hero."
He pretends not to see Naruto flinch at the vitriol curling around the title as he storms out of the restaurant, sprinting to the Uchiha compound as fast as his legs can carry him.
He doesn't bother going through the front gate of the compound. It's not like anyone would notice his arrival.
He leaps over the wall and heads straight for the training grounds. He needs to exercise this rage and guilt out as soon as possible. As soon as he sees the practice dummies lined up along the wall, Sasuke becomes sixteen again and releases all of his pent-up emotion through physical violence.
Straw and burlap are scattered across the ground by the time Sasuke has burnt out the rest of his energy. He hadn't used any jutsu, but his fists are just as deadly when backed with killing intent.
He's spread out on the grassy floor, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead and making his clothes cling to his skin. He pants hard and heavy as he stares up at the dark night sky, watching as the stars begin to light up the black void.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid—
Sasuke knows he's a fucking idiot. Naruto is also an idiot, but Sasuke can admit that he's not much better.
He shuts his eyes tightly. His fingernails dig into his palm until it stings.
Why am I still acting out like this? I thought I was getting better, why aren't I getting better?
He turns on his side, bringing his arm up to reach out across the empty space beside him. He wonders if things will always be like this—if he's simply destined to remain alone for the rest of his life.
Sasuke bites his lip and turns to look back up at the sky, wondering if Naruto is fast asleep beside his fiancée or if he's still awake thinking about him, too.
The years of travel have treated Sasuke well, that much is obvious. His dark hair is long enough to reach his shoulders, falling across his face like a raven's wing and only providing Naruto with brief flashes of pale violet each time he moves his head while speaking to the other proctors.
He's not the same bruised and battered boy that Naruto had fought two years ago down in the valley. The one with walls a mile high but one inch thick to guard his heart; difficult to climb over, but quite breakable if you know where to strike.
Maybe that's why last night had been so painful.
Naruto had believed that they had evolved past using pain to communicate. That they could use their words like functional, mature adults instead of devolving into two spiteful teenagers resorting to petty squabbles.
But Sasuke seems to have other plans. He's barely even looked at Naruto today, making a blasé effort to direct all of his questions and suggestions to anyone who isn't him. Each time Naruto comments on the technicalities of an exam phase, he can see Sasuke pointedly avoid his eyes before offering his own counterpoint.
The thing is, Naruto couldn't care less if Sasuke disagrees with him. He's challenged Naruto in practically everything throughout their lives, butting heads more than they've ever shaken hands in agreement, but the one thing Naruto can't stand is when Sasuke doesn't give him any attention at all.
Sasuke knows the negligence is getting to him. He can see the satisfaction on Sasuke's face in the way the corners of his eyes wrinkle and the muscle in his jaw flexes every time he successfully avoids direct conversation.
It's driving Naruto crazy.
Sasuke is chatting with Temari on the other side of the room about something Naruto can't hear, but he doesn't really care.
Look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me—
"—ou even listening to me?" Shikamaru's voice cuts violently into Naruto's thoughts.
Naruto startles, whipping his head around to see Shikamaru staring at him with complete and utter exasperation. "Sorry, did you say something, Shikamaru?"
"I should be paid extra for having to deal with this crap…" Shikamaru pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. "I said that we'll need to request Captain Yamato's wood style for the second and third phases. We need you to ask him for us."
"Oh. Yeah, sure, no problem," Naruto replies quickly, his eyes turning back to the other side of the room.
"Naruto," Shikamaru hisses as he snaps his fingers directly in front of Naruto's face.
"I'm listening!"
"No you're not, you're staring. Quite obviously, might I add."
"Okay, so? Sasuke hasn't looked at me all day, he's doing this on purpose to be petty."
Naruto can practically hear Shikamaru roll his eyes as he grumbles, "I can't believe Hinata willingly puts up with this shit—"
The name snags on Naruto's brain, briefly turning him back to Shikamaru with his gaze still locked on Sasuke. "Hinata? What does she have to do with this?"
"Nope, I swore I wouldn't get involved." Shikamaru holds up both of his hands in surrender. "You've gotta figure this out yourself."
"Ugh, why does everyone keep saying that?"
"Figure it out."
"I hate you."
Shikamaru snorts and pats Naruto on the shoulder. "You've got this, Naruto. Just… think about what this is all really about."
"Why can't you just tell me?" Naruto grumbles, his eyebrows furrowing low over his eyes as he frowns at his friend. "It would be so much simpler if people just told me what's going on."
"Sorry, can't do that. It won't mean anything if it doesn't come from you. Some rest will do you good, you look like you barely slept last night."
It's not very encouraging to know that Naruto looks just as shitty as he feels. Shikamaru is right, he had barely slept. He'd been tossing and turning all night, staring out the window at the stars and wondering how things got so tangled between him and Sasuke. Wondering what he did wrong and how he can fix it.
The walk home only makes his mood worse. He's tired and hungry and he doesn't even have the mental energy to grab a bite at Ichiraku.
Instant ramen it is, he sighs inwardly with his shoulders hunched. Just yesterday he'd been eating delicious ramen in a shitty situation, and today he's going to eat shitty ramen in an even shittier apartment.
The worst part is that Naruto would take Sasuke's presence in any capacity, be it angry or confusing, over his complete absence. Naruto had been iced out today, not even a blazing word of angry attention from Sasuke. Last night might not have been perfect, but at least they were talking. At least they were together.
"Naruto!" a soft, sweet voice calls out.
Naruto jolts at the sound of his name and lifts his eyes to see Hinata jogging towards him, her long, inky black hair swirling around her like the swipe of a paintbrush.
"Oh, hi, Hinata," he greets politely, forcing his shoulders back to stand up straight. "What's up?"
Hinata's pale lavender eyes narrow in concern. "Are you feeling alright, Naruto?"