"So, like I was trying to say, they are a pair of friends who auditioned. While this show is obviously in Canada, with all of you originating from the country, the producers thought it was a good idea to open two spots to our neighboring country down south—the good ol' United States of America. But I added a requirement: the applicants had to send in a video of themselves together; they either had to be dating or be longtime friends. Thousands of applicants and These two were the winners. So, from the United States, the boy from Royal Woods, Michigan, and the girl from Great Lakes City, Michigan, I give you Lincoln and Ronnie Anne!"
"AHHHHH!!!"
The scream ripped through the living room the instant the screen cut to them.
Everyone surged forward at once—shouts overlapping, hands flying to mouths, pizza slices forgotten mid-bite. Lily practically launched off the couch, pointing at the TV with both hands as if afraid they might disappear if she blinked.
"There they are!"
"That's them!"
"Oh my god, look at them!"
The Louds and the Casagrandes erupted into chaos—cheering, laughing, talking over one another as pride and nerves hit all at once. Even the adults leaned in closer, eyes glued to the screen, smiles wide and unguarded.
For a moment, the ridiculous danger of the show didn't matter.
Lincoln and Ronnie Anne were finally on screen.
And everyone was watching.
———
The couple of Americans came into view as the boat pulled up to the dock. Many of the campers were surprised by the appearance of the male, as his hair was as white as fresh snow. He had a few freckles on his face and was dressed in a red shirt with a black card spade with an 'A' on it, an orange button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, blue jeans, and white sneakers with three orange stripes on the side. The female was a Hispanic woman with long black hair done up in a ponytail that went down to her butt. She was dressed in a purple hoodie with a white tank top underneath, black yoga pants with a purple stripe that went down the side, and purple mid-top sneakers. They walked off the boat; Lincoln was holding two suitcases, while Ronnie Anne had a duffle bag under one arm and a rolling suitcase with a skateboard attached to it.
"Told you the boat ride wouldn't be so bad."
"Don't rub it in, lame-o. I don't do well on boats." Ronnie Anne lightly punches Lincoln's shoulder as they step off the boat and walk up to Chris. Lincoln decided to introduce himself to Chris.
"Yo, Chris McLean, right?"
"Yep. I want to personally welcome the two of you to the great country of Canada. How's it feel to be this far from home, eh?"
Lincoln shrugs his shoulders "Warmer than I expected, but it's cool to be here."
"Same. I've been to Mexico before; it's cool to be in a new country."
Lincoln looks around quickly gaining a worried look."So, where is the camp?"
Chris just chuckles at the white-haired boy's expression. "This is it, man. Camp Wawanakwa!" Chris gestures to the campgrounds as the Americans turn their heads and can actually see the wood falling off the cabins, perfectly signifying how bad the living conditions are.
Lincoln sighs deeply and pulls out his wallet, takes out a twenty-dollar bill, and hands it to a smirking Ronnie Anne
"Don't be upset, Link. I was kinda hoping I was wrong about the camp, but not right now."
Ronnie Anne shakes the lost bill in Lincoln's face before she pockets it, the campers look at the scene had most of the them chuckle at the scene.
"I told Lincoln that was a bad bet, but he's still way too trusting of people."
Carlino's comment hung in the air for half a second too long.
The Loud sisters immediately snapped their heads toward him.
"The heck is that supposed to mean?!"
Lola was on her feet in an instant, hands on her hips, eyes blazing. Carlino recoiled slightly, throwing his hands up in surrender.
"Whoa—whoa, I didn't mean it like that!" he rushed out. "I just mean Lincoln needs to be a little more suspicious of people sometimes, I don't mean—"
Before he could finish, Rita stepped in, her voice firm but calm.
"Girls, Carlino didn't mean anything bad," she said gently. "He didn't mean anything about… her."
She deliberately avoided saying the red-haired girl's name, her jaw tightening just a little. Lynn Sr. noticed immediately and squeezed Rita's hand, grounding her as the moment threatened to spiral.
Seeing their mom's expression—and understanding exactly why she was upset—cooled the sisters' anger almost instantly.
Lola's shoulders dropped.
"Sorry, Carlino," she muttered.
Carlino relaxed, waving it off. "Nah, it's cool. I get it."
The tension faded, but the unease lingered—because deep down, everyone knew exactly who Rita hadn't wanted to name.
"Ohhh, I'm gonna like her." Leshawna immediately likes this girl and her personality.
The teens walk across the dock to the other campers and introduce themselves.
"Hello, good to meet you all., my name is Lincoln and this is Ronnie Anne"
"What's up, everyone?"
Most of the others voice their hellos and greetings, all except for two the silent scowl of heather was her greeting but Duncan decided to make himself known.
"HAHAHA!!! Nice hair, old man."
Lincoln and Ronnie Anne exchange annoyed expressions at the delinquent. Lincoln slowly claps his hands after setting his bags down.
"Woooow. Real original there, hedge-head. Not like I've already heard that joke like a thousand times before."
Ronnie Anne shakes her head slowly just looking disappointed.
"Seriously, that was your best? You need to insult better, like: Nice nose piercing. You use that to hang air fresheners, stank breath."
"HA!"
Lincoln lets out a single laugh as the couple walks up, ignoring the pissed-off look Duncan is giving them. They make it to the others.
"That girl is still a keeper," Luan said with a laugh, leaning back against the couch as the tension finally eased.
Lori watched the screen for a moment longer, a soft smile tugging at her lips.
"She is."
The two shared a quiet look of agreement—pride, relief, and a little bit of hope wrapped up in just two simple words.
Dj walks up to the white-haired 16-year-old "Nice to meet you both." DJ says to Lincoln and Ronnie with a smile as he shakes Lincoln's hand. "Welcome to Canada."
"Hey, thanks, dude. Thanks for the welcome."
Dj quickly shakes Ronnie Anne's hand after he let go of Lincoln's hand.
"Glad to be here."
Lincoln said to DJ before walking to the ro ok est of the campers while holding a hand up to accept high fives, which Geoff, Harold, Trent, Bridgette, and Tyler return.
Owen grabs and bear hugs Lincoln
"Welcome to Canada, man! I'm Owen, HEHA!"
Lincoln laughs from the big guy's hug as he lets him go. Now Owen tries to do the same to Ronnie Anne, who holds her hands up.
"Whoa there big guy. Sorry but I'm not much of a hugger."
Owen looks dejected but puts on a hopeful expression, holding up his hand for a high five, which Ronnie Anne returns.
"Ooooh, girl, you are rocking that purple."
Leshawna and Bridgette walk up to Ronnie Anne.
"Thanks. Most of my clothes are purple; it's been my favorite color since I was like five."
"Same. Most of my clothes are the same shade of blue. I'm Bridgette, and this is Leshawna."
Leshawna holds her hand up for a high five.
"What's up, girl."
Ronnie Anne returns the high five, happy to meet some nice people here.
"Just happy to be here and excited to win."
"All right, campers! We need a group photo for the promos. Everyone at the end of the dock! Okay!"
All the campers were huddled together on the docks in their iconic pose, with Ronnie Anne and Lincoln on the far left, Lincoln throwing up the horns as Ronnie Anne stands by his side doing the bunny ears prank to Lincoln.
"One, two, three. Oops. Okay, forgot the lens cap! Okay, hold that pose! One! Tw– oh. No, wait. Card's full. Hang on."
"Come on, man, my face is startin' to freeze!"
"Got it. Okay, everyone say 'Wawanakwa!'"
"Wawanakwa-aaahhhh!"
All the campers fall through the crummy dock, getting drenched in the lake. As Chris takes multiple photos of them in the water.
"Okay, guys. Dry off and meet at the campfire pit in ten!"
"This is gonna be an interesting show," Leni said, folding her hands in her lap as she kept her eyes on the screen.
Around her, both the Louds and the Casagrandes murmured in agreement. A few nodded, others exchanged uneasy looks.
"Interesting" was one thing.
Too interesting—especially for the kids' mental and physical health—was another.
Intro
Various locations were observed being prepared and activated. Shortly after, cameras emerged from every conceivable spot before a director's slateboard was snapped.
Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera zoomed past the camp, sweeping past Chris seated in a director's chair, and traveling all the way up the cliff before plunging down into the water, where Owen was spotted knocking out a fish with a fart.
You asked me what I wanted to be, and I think the answer is plain to see
I wanna be famous!
The fish floated up after being knocked out, and Geoff and Bridgette were seen staring into each other's eyes while drifting together on a surfboard. However, both cringed as they caught a whiff of Owen's fart, just as an eagle swooped down to snatch the knocked-out fish.
DJ was then shown in the forest, grinning while surrounded by adorable, cuddly animals. That is until the eagle dropped the fish in front of him, causing the animals to charge at him and scatter in a panic. Duncan laughed at the chaos while Courtney shot him a disapproving look.
DJ, still running, passed by a mountainous canyon where Lincoln was sitting on a rock, sketching in his notebook, while Ronnie Anne performed a 180 Ollie off a chasm.
I wanna live close the sun
Well, pack your bags, cause I've already won
Leshawna and Heather were now seen engaged in a sissy fight on a raft that eventually plunged down a waterfall. Meanwhile, Harold was perfecting his mad skills on a cracked log before Izzy collided with him while swinging on a vine. The two crashed into an outhouse, knocking Lindsay out of it, her skirt down, revealing her panties.
Everything to prove, nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Cause I wanna be famous
In the mess hall, a muscular chef was seen stirring a mysterious pot with his bare hands, while Noah and Ezekiel were tied up and trembling in fear over the "dish." Eva, meanwhile, was dominating Tyler in an arm-wrestling contest.
Na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Outside, Sadie and Katie were watching a shirtless Justin on the beach as the handsome teen admired himself using two mirrors. The camera cut to the ocean nearby, showing a salmon leaping from the water only to be devoured by a shark, with a tentacle dragging a floating seagull beneath the surface.
I wanna be
I wanna be
I wanna be famous!!!!
Beth was seen on the dock of shame, twirling a flaming baton for a moment before tossing it into the air.
I wanna be
I wanna be
I wanna be famous!!!!!!!
Gwen and Trent were now sitting together by the campfire, with Trent holding his guitar. The two leaned in close, but were interrupted by Cody popping up between them. The camera zoomed out to reveal the other campers as well, with Chris whistling by the campfire.
"AWESOME SONG!!"
Luna threw her hands up in devil horns, head already bobbing as the intro blasted through the living room speakers. She was absolutely loving it.
"Poor DJ," Leni said, wincing as the screen showed him getting bitten and mauled by various animals. "He keeps getting attacked by, like… everything."
Bobby leaned forward, concern creasing his brow. "Okay, but who was that chef dude? The one with the tied-up kids?"
No one answered right away.
Lori crossed her arms, eyes narrowed at the television as another chaotic scene played out. "This island is full of crazies."
——-
All the campers had managed to dry off and were currently sitting or hanging around the campgrounds when Chris stepped forward.
"This… is Camp Wawanakwa, your home for the next eight weeks. The campers sitting around you will be your cabinmates, your competition, and maybe even your friends. Ya dig?"
Heather glared at the rest of the girls.
"Your competition, and maybe even your friends. Ya dig?"
Lincoln and Ronnie Anne exchanged a fist bump. Meanwhile, Harold smiled at Duncan, who glared back, brandishing his fist at the nerd.
"The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off will win $100,000!"
"Excuse me. What will the sleeping arrangements be? Because I'd like to request a bunk under her."
Duncan's perverted comment made Heather gasp in concern.
"They're not co-ed, are they?"
"God, I hope not," Maria muttered, folding her arms as her eyes stayed glued to the screen. The thought of Ronnie Anne anywhere near that Duncan punk made her stomach twist.
"It shouldn't… hopefully," Rita said, though the hesitation in her voice betrayed her. She tried to sound reassuring, but her gaze lingered on the television a little too long.
Her expression tightened when Heather appeared on screen again.
"I don't like that girl," Rita added quietly. "Something about her just feels… wrong."
Lynn Sr. glanced at her, catching the unease in her tone.
"I don't want Lincoln anywhere near her," Rita continued, shaking her head. "Bad feelings like that don't come from nowhere."
Around the room, a few of the others nodded subtly, sharing the same uneasy instinct as the show rolled on.
"No. Girls get one side of each cabin, and dudes get the other."
"Excuse me, Kyle? Can I have a cabin with the lake view since I'm the prettiest?"
"Okay, you are." Lindsay smiled at the compliment but quickly lost it as Chris continued, "But that's not really how it works here, and it's Chris."
Best friends Katie and Sadie clung to each other tightly, not wanting to be separated.
"I have to live with Sadie, or I'll die."
"And I'll break out in hives. It's true."
"Weirdos," Lana said flatly, eyes never leaving the screen.
"No argument here," Lola agreed, nodding along as she crossed her arms.
"This cannot be happening."
Gwen held her head, not believing this was her life for the next eight weeks.
"Aww, c'mon, guys! It'll be fun! It's like a big sleepover!"
The ever-lovable Owen wrapped Gwen and Tyler in a hug. Tyler took the opportunity to whisper to Gwen.
"At least you don't have to sleep next to him."
The goth darted her eyes to where the athlete's eyes pointed, and they saw Duncan with a deer in a harsh headlock, giving the poor mammal an epic noogie.
"That poor deer!" Lana gasped, leaning forward in disbelief as she watched Duncan grab the animal and give it a rough noogie.
"Hopefully he gets eliminated… or arrested soon," Maria muttered, clearly unimpressed as she shook her head, already deciding she did not like the mohawked teen one bit.
"Here's the deal. We're gonna split you into two teams. If I call your name out, go stand over there: Gwen, Trent, Heather, Ronnie Anne, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Katie, Owen, Leshawna, Justin, and… Noah. From this moment on, you are officially known as… The Screaming Gophers!"
Chris tossed the team a green banner. Owen caught it and unveiled it. The banner was dark green with a gopher in a boxing stance, its mouth wide open as if it were screaming.
"Yeah! I'm a Gopher! Whoo!"
"Wait. What about Sadie?"
Ronnie Anne glanced over at Lincoln in worry, both of them concerned since it seemed that they were on opposite teams.
"The rest of you over here: Geoff, Bridgette, DJ, Tyler, Sadie, Izzy, Lincoln, Courtney, Ezekiel, Duncan, Eva, and… Harold! Move, move, move, move!"
"But Katie's a Gopher! I have to be a Gopher!"
"Sadie, is it? Come on, it'll be okay."
Courtney helped Sadie stand and comforted her as they walked away.
"This is so unfair! I miss you, Katie!"
"I miss you too!"
"You guys will officially be known as… The Killer Bass!"
Chris tossed Harold a dark red banner, which he unveiled to show an angry-looking bass.
"It's awesome. It's like… amazing."
———
The Louds and the Casagrandes were completely floored when the show revealed that Lincoln and Ronnie Anne weren't even on the same team.
"Oh crap," Carlitos muttered, and for once, no one argued with him.
Lori's expression went nuclear.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" she snapped, half rising from the couch. "YOU PUT THEM ON OPPOSITE TEAMS? THEY'RE THE NUMBER ONE COUPLE!"
She was practically vibrating with rage as Bobby immediately stepped in behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders.
"Easy vibes, babe," he said gently. "Remember Mary. Remember deep breaths."
Lori squeezed her eyes shut, nodding as she forced herself to calm down.
"You're right…" she said through clenched teeth. "Breathe in… and out…"
Slowly, her shoulders relaxed, though the glare she shot back at the TV made it very clear she was still not happy about it.
———
"All right, campers. You and your team will be on camera in all public areas during this competition."
The camera cuts to inside an outhouse where Chris is speaking.
Chris - CONFESSIONAL:
"You will also be able to share your innermost thoughts on tape with video diaries anytime you want. Let the audience at home know what you're really thinking, or just get something off your chest."
Gwen - CONFESSIONAL:
Gwen was hunched over, annoyed and upset that she was stuck at the camp.
"Um… okay. So far, this sucks."
Lindsay - CONFESSIONAL:
The blonde had no real idea how the confessional worked. She was facing the wrong way, with her back to the camera and her butt in front of it.
"I don't get it. Where's the camera guy?"
Rita and Frida both reacted at the same time, quickly covering Lily's and Carlitos's eyes so they wouldn't see what was happening on the screen.
"Hey!" Lily protested, squirming. "I can still hear it!"
Carlitos groaned from behind Frida's hand. "This is so embarrassing."
Carlino leaned back on the couch, shaking his head as he watched the TV without flinching.
"Man, that girl is a ditz."
Rosa nodded firmly in agreement, lips pursed.
"No kidding."
She crossed her arms, clearly unimpressed, as the adults exchanged looks that said the same thing: this show was already way more chaotic than they'd expected.
Loon - CONFESSIONAL:
A loon was seen applying lipstick to its beak.
"Okay, that is just bizarre," Lola commented, eyes narrowing as the loon suddenly filled the screen.
She leaned forward on the couch, clearly unsettled.
"That bird has issues."
Lana nodded slowly in agreement, never taking her eyes off the TV.
Luan chuckled.
"Guess you say that was… loony, hahaha."
The louds and casagrandes groan at the girl's joke.
"Get it?"
Owen - CONFESSIONAL:
"Hey, everyone! Check this out. I have something very important to say."
Owen didn't say anything, only letting out a fart before laughing.
Lana and CJ burst out laughing at Owen's fart, both of them completely losing it at the big guy's shameless humor.
Lincoln - CONFESSIONAL:
"When I signed up, I was under the belief that me and Ronnie Anne would be on the same team. Guess this was Chris's plan from the beginning."
Ronnie Anne - CONFESSIONAL:
"Great, so now every game I'm gonna be worried about Lincoln getting eliminated if my team wins. Lincoln is one of my best friends. I don't want to lose him." Ronnie Anne realized what she just said. And looks at the camera with some red in her cheeks.
"I… meant that… we agreed to split the money if one of us wins… so I don't want to lose him because I care about him being here with me… because of… I mean… that… I… SHUT UP!!!"
Ronnie Anne punched the camera, making it go to static.
"Ohh, prima, she just needs to be honest."
Carlota chuckled softly, shaking her head at her cousin's antics as the scene played out on the screen.
Hector, on the other hand, didn't look amused at all. His brows knit together with concern as he leaned forward.
"I really hope they don't send us the bill for that camera."
Rosa reached over and patted his shoulder reassuringly, completely unbothered.
"It's only one camera," she said calmly. "I think it's fine, mi amor."
The camera feed returns to the firepit, where Chris stands in the middle of the Killer Bass and Screaming Gophers.
"All right. Any questions? Cool. Let's find your cabins."
The campers glance over at the cabins. The rooms are shoddy and old, with bunk beds being the only sleeping arrangements.
"Gophers, you're in the east cabins. Bass, you're in the west."
"Bunk beds? Isn't this a little… summer camp?"
Gwen pushes past Heather, standing in the doorway.
"That's the idea, genius."
"Ugh. Shut up, weird goth girl."
Gwen sets her bags on the top bunk, claiming it as her own. Cody, the tech geek, saunters into the cabin.
"You're so smart. I feel that."
"Shouldn't you be on the boys' side?"
Gwen gives him a sharp look as the nervous geek tries, and fails, to impress her. Ronnie Anne enters and places her bags on the bed below Gwen. And Ronnie Anne notices Cody standing there.
"What are you doing here?"
Cody walks over to Ronnie Anne's side. Eager to impress the Hispanic tomboy.
"Just wanted to see how the lovely Gopher girls were settling in. You're Ronnie Anne, right? I personally wanted to say that, uh, tu… trasero es… muy… sexy."
Ronnie Anne's face flushes red before narrowing her eyes at the boy.
"And I want to tell you, Eres un idiota patético y voy a tirarte de la cabaña ahora."
"Heh, cool."
But unfortunately he didn't know know what he said nor what Ronnie Anne truly said as in the next second, Cody is violently thrown out of the girl's side of the cabin by Ronnie Anne. He lands in front of Trent, who looks at the scene bewildered.
Most of the Casagrandes chuckled at the Cody boy's attempt to flirt with Ronnie Anne—and his absolute massacre of the Spanish phrase.
Lily tilted her head, confused.
"I don't get it. What did he say?"
Lori quickly patted her on the head, steering her attention away from the TV for half a second.
"I can't repeat it. You'll understand when you're older."
Carlitos, however, had no such filter.
"He said her butt is sexy," he explained bluntly. "Whatever the heck that was supposed to mean."
The room went dead quiet.
The Casagrandes slowly turned to stare at him, expressions ranging from shocked to horrified.
"…What?"
"Where are the outlets? I have to plug in my straightening iron."
"There are some in the communal bathrooms just across the way."
Chris points over to the bathrooms.
"Communal bathrooms? But I'm not Catholic."
"Not communion. Communal."
Lindsay stares at Chris blankly, not understanding what he means.
"It means we shower together, idiot."
Gwen, who needed to step out of the cabin, tells Lindsay as she walks by to sit down on the steps.
Lindsay can't take it and lets it all out.
"Aww, d– no! C'mon!"
The commotion gets the rest of the Gophers to pop up and see what's happening.
"I'm glad we're in our own cabin with just guys! Know what I mean?"
Unfortunately for Owen, the other guys don't know what he means and shoot him very weirded-out looks.
"Wait! I mean, no! I didn't mean it like that! I love chicks! I just don't want to sleep near them! Ahh, Dah, I mean…"
Luna squinted at the screen, watching Owen's reaction a little too closely.
"I think he's in the closet," she said matter-of-factly.
A few heads around the room nodded in quiet agreement.
"That's a big closet," Lynn joked, snickering.
Luna immediately smacked her upside the head.
"Hey!"
As Owen tries to convince the others of what he meant, Geoff walks out of the Bass cabin.
"Excuse me, Chris?! Is there a chaperone of any kind in this facility?"
"You're all sixteen years old. As old as a counselor-in-training at a regular summer camp. So, other than myself, you'll be unsupervised. You got a half hour to unpack and meet me back at the main lodge. Starting… now!"
"Nice."
Geoff and Duncan share a high five, happy at the amount of freedom they have.
⸻
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Lindsay's scream from inside the cabin grabs everyone's attention, even from far away.
"Ooh, man, that white girl can scream."
The rest of the camp poked their heads into the girls' side of the Gopher cabin, where they saw Lindsay standing on a stool, her wide eyes fixed on the ground, her body trembling in complete and utter fear… of a cockroach. The small, dark bug crawled silently across the floor, completely unaware of the chaos it was about to cause.
"What is it? Kill it! Kill it!"
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
But Lindsay wasn't the only one terrified of the tiny creature. DJ, in a sheer panic, screamed at the top of his lungs, jumping onto a nearby bed, which immediately collapsed under his weight. The rickety frame was no match for the force of the BrickHouse crashing onto it.
"That was my bed."
"Increíblemente increíble."
The next few moments turned into total chaos. Campers were scrambling, jumping onto beds in a frenzied attempt to escape the cockroach. Only Lincoln, Ronnie Anne, Gwen, Leshawna, and Tyler seemed to maintain some semblance of composure, trying their best to corner and squash the roach. However, the crafty insect kept evading them, darting from side to side.
Just when it seemed like the roach was about to win, Duncan burst into the room, a menacing look in his eyes and an axe gripped tightly in his hand. He stormed forward with a determined, almost predatory look on his face.
The cockroach, in its final moment of freedom, called out desperately in a tiny voice.
"Help me."
[SPLAT!]
———
Not a single Loud or Casagrande spoke. The sight of Duncan chopping the roach with an axe was so shocking, so excessive, that it drained the room of sound.
———
With one swift swing of the axe, Duncan cut the cockroach clean in half at its stomach, leaving it crumpled and lifeless on the floor.
"Well, that's one way to kill a cockroach."
"Awesome."
"Dude, you have problems."
Harold and Ronnie Anne definitely had the most conflicting views on the event. Most of the campers stood in a mix of awe, amusement, and sheer bewilderment, watching as Duncan calmly cleaned off his axe. The athlete Tyler, seeing Lindsay still shaking on the stool, quickly moved over to help her down, his strong arms lifting her off the small platform and gently sitting her on the bed.
"If you ever see one of those again, just let me know, 'kay? 'Cause… [inhales] Y'know… I can do that too."
Lindsay remained silent, her eyes wide with gratitude as she looked up at Tyler, her heart pounding. He was being so kind, and, if she were honest with herself, he was kind of cute too.
"Psh. They always go for the jocks."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily asked, looking up at Lori with a confused frown.
Lori hesitated for a moment before answering, choosing her words carefully. "It's a stereotype about blonde girls—that we're supposed to like sporty guys or jocks."
Leni shook her head immediately. "Not all of us do. I like more outdoorsy guys."
She smiled to herself, her thoughts drifting fondly to River.
After the commotion in the Gopher cabin, all the campers made their way over to the main lodge for their first meal of their stay. The lodge was large, with wooden beams and dim lighting, but it felt cozy enough. When they entered, they were greeted by the chef—a huge, intimidating Black man who looked like he'd rather be barking orders at soldiers than dishing out food to a bunch of campers. His presence was enough to make anyone think twice before making a sound.
"Listen up! I serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day! Grab your tray, get your food, and sit your butts down now!"
Rita stared at the Chef on the screen, rubbing her chin thoughtfully.
"I… I think I know him?"
Lynn Sr. squinted at the television, leaning forward slightly as he tried to place the face. "He doesn't look familiar, honey. Where do you remember him?"
Rita frowned, eyes never leaving the screen as she searched her memory. "I don't know… but I swear I know him from somewhere."
"Excuse me. Will we be getting all the major food groups?"
"Yeah. 'Cause I get hypoglycemic real bad if I don't get enough sugar."
"You'll get a whole lot of shut the heck up!!!!"
Beth and Harold, both caught off guard by the chef's explosive reaction, found themselves drenched in a fine mist of spit. Harold's hair was blown back, and Beth's glasses were knocked askew, giving her a disoriented look.
Owen, always the one to lighten the mood, leaned into Noah's ear and whispered.
"Have a cow."
The joke, though juvenile, actually managed to make Noah chuckle, surprising the know-it-all.
"What was that?!"
Unfortunately, Owen had been too loud, and the chef, now aware of their little conversation, glared at the two boys, causing them both to freeze in fear.
"Come closer, fat boy. I didn't hear you."
"Uh, I didn't really say anything important."
"I'm sure you didn't. You! Scrawny kid. Gimme your plate."
Noah, visibly shaken, handed over his plate. The chef scooped up some more of the disgusting 'sludge' from the serving tray and plopped it on Noah's bun. The extra "food" seemed to have a life of its own, jumping back to the spoon before the chef slopped it onto Noah's bun with a sickening sound.
Both Owen and Noah quickly bolted from the lunch line, their faces pale, and their stomachs churning from the ordeal.
"Hey, what's up, girl?" Leshawna tried to strike up a conversation with Eva, but the sports girl ignored her completely, brushing her off without a second glance.
"Oh. It's gonna be like that, is it?"
"NEXT!!!"
The chef's loud, gruff voice spurred Leshawna to move quickly through the line. Lindsay and Gwen followed behind her, trying to get their food without further incident.
"Excuse me. My nutritionist says I shouldn't eat any white sugar, white flour, or like, dairy."
The chef didn't respond to Lindsay's request. Instead, he was too busy swatting at a fly buzzing around his head. Without missing a beat, he grabbed it with his bare hand and crushed it in his fingers, all while still not taking his eyes off Lindsay.
"I don't think that's gonna be a problem."
"Cool."
Lindsay happily took her food, but as she turned, Gwen caught a glimpse of her meal. Something was… moving.
"Okay, I hate to be predictable and complain on the first day, but I think mine just moved."
The chef, not missing a beat, brought a meat tenderizer down onto Gwen's food, crushing whatever it was that had been wriggling.
"Right, okay then."
"That looks delicious."
Lana commented casually, eyes fixed on the screen, completely sincere.
Lola slowly turned her head toward her twin, her expression flattening into pure, unfiltered what the hell. She stared at Lana like she was questioning every life choice that had led to this exact moment.
Gwen walked away, her food still moving in places. She tried to ignore it as much as she could. The next campers in line nervously looked down at their plates, wondering if they'd be next, the line continued until TDI American contestants got in the line.
"So, how's everything at the Gopher cabin?"
"It's… fine. Me and Gwen had to find a new bunk, but beyond that, it's all fine."
"YOU LOVEBIRDS!!! YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LINE WITH YOUR FLIRTING!!!"
The comment caused both Lincoln and Ronnie Anne to blush deeply in embarrassment. The rest of the campers burst into laughter at the exchange.
"We… are… not… LOVEBIRDS, OLD MAN!!!"
"This is gonna be bad."
Bobby commented quietly, his eyes never leaving the screen as Ronnie Anne's outburst played out.
Rosa immediately clasped her hands together, eyes lifting upward as worry creased her face.
"querido dios protect my sweet Mija."
The laughter started to die down when Ronnie Anne screamed at the hardened chef.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU MAGGOT!!??"
"¡¡¡NO SOMOS TORTOLITOS, VIEJO!!!"
Lincoln quickly placed his hand on Ronnie Anne's shoulder, guiding her away before she could say anything else.
"Ronnie anne solo respira recuerda por qué estamos aquí, hay un gran premio de cien."
"Conozco a Linc pero... ¡¡¡ahhhh!!!
Lincoln led the fuming Ronnie Anne away, grabbing both her tray and his own in the process.
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO SAYING!!!???"
"It's better if you don't know."
Lincoln set her tray down at the Gophers' table before finally taking his seat with the Bass.
"I'm so thankful Lincoln has Ronnie Anne," Rosa said, folding her hands with a relieved smile. "He's ice to her fire."
Rita and Maria nodded in agreement.
"And I'm thankful Ronnie Anne has Lincoln," Rita added. "She and Clyde were the only ones who really helped him come out of his shell."
Maria smiled softly at that.
"True. Lincoln's a good boy—kind, respectful. I'm just glad they found each other. Whether as friends or something more, they make each other better."
Chris finally walked into the lodge with a wide grin on his face.
"Welcome to the main lodge."
"Yo, my man. Can we order a pizza?"
Geoff's honest, and somewhat desperate, question about the quality of the food caused the chef to throw a cleaver across the room, narrowly missing Geoff. It was a clear answer to his question.
All the parents' eyes nearly popped out of their heads.
"Do you know any good lawyers?" Rita asked, turning to Maria.
Maria shook her head slowly. "I was about to ask you the same thing. This can't be legal—doing something like that to teenagers."
Carlos crossed his arms, thinking it over.
"It depends on what's in the contract they signed. Legally speaking, if the show spelled this out in the paperwork, they can get away with a lot… as long as it doesn't cross into criminal territory."
"Whoa! It's cool, G! Brown slop is cool! Ha, ha. Right, guys?"
The rest of the campers mumbled in agreement, trying to seem enthusiastic, but it was clear no one was thrilled about the food.
"Your first challenge begins… in one hour! So get your swimsuits on. Heh, you'll need 'em."
"What do you think they'll make us do?"
"It's our first challenge. How hard can it be?"
Unfortunately for DJ, the first challenge was for all the campers in their swimsuits to jump off the 1000-foot cliffside of a nearby mountain. The jagged cliffs loomed ominously above an icy lake that looked more like a death trap than a swimming pool.
"Oh, *bleep*."