TRIGGER WARNING... Noah's p.o.v
From the second he entered her place she never met his eyes, but he felt her emotions like they were his own. He has an overwhelming urge to scream, shift, run but his scared. She does not seem like she's mad at him, but she's lost. She's calmer now but his emotions are out of focus. What happened to Alex? Why is she in so much pain? And this is the first time his ever seen her dissociated like this, is this normal? He paced around to control the urge to shift, there's an itch that he wants to scratch but it's out of reach. He wants to do something to levitate how he feels but he does not because he does not want to startle his fated mate. Her emotions are suffocating him in confusion; she needs to stop for a second so that he can catch his breath. He found her art book and pencil case in her school bag; she needs to relax.
He moves to the kitchen, and he gently directs her to the living room for her to just sit. He can handle the clean-up duty. And letting her draw elevated the burden and compression on his chest which made washing dishes, pans and contained significantly easier. He also swept and mopped the floor ensuring to not miss a spot, she will probably redo his efforts but its good enough for now. Eventually, he joined her in the living room. Her pencil moved again, slower this time, and he let himself observe her not just her beauty, but the way she held herself. Guarded. Distant. When she finally glanced up, her breathing hitched. There was something haunting in her expression, but she was also breathtaking. This wasn't just chemistry it was something deeper. If Jayden and Leo could navigate the chaos of fate, then so could he.
"Your art," he murmured, "it's incredible."
Alex looked down at the page in surprise, as if seeing her creation for the first time. It's interesting how her eyes widened in shock as if she did not design the masterpiece. There is a deep dark heavy sadness flickered behind them sadness struck him like lightning. He didn't want to see that look in her eyes again. Ever. When she went to shower, he wandered through her apartment as if it was his first time. Everything was pristine neat, quiet, almost sterile. The kitchen stood out like a sanctuary: vibrant, welcoming, alive. The rest of the flat was dim and reserved, a reflection of someone who only allows certain parts of themselves to shine. He found her bedroom and sat gently on the edge of her bed. One magazine from a stack caught his eye: Medical Facts. Her life was discipline and knowledge, grounded in control. It made the warmth of the kitchen all the more telling.
No family photos. There is a collage of her in the mellow with two gorgeous woman he has never seen before. They are unreal perhaps fae. She looks genuinely happy around the heart are pictures of her with a dead body, they are wearing goofy outfits, a group picture with her and the fae and what looks to be their partners. She is in the fae realm in all of these pictures, how is that possible unless she's also fae. No, she is a wolf shifter but that could explain certain quirks like her eyes turning red. framed next to that are pictures of her friends, and one of them all together. the rest of the things that added personality was her accomplishments all over the room fate outdid themselves.
Then she walked in. She was drying her, damp braids glistening from a hot shower. She smells like coco butter, and her melanin looks like it would be soft to the touch, dirty thoughts. Focus, the last thing he wants is for her to close off or kick him out. He offered to help, and to his quiet joy, she didn't stop him. She allowed the closeness, the small touches that were less about desire and more about reassurance. Safety. Presence. He would never push her but touching her made him feel grounded and useful. Alex had told him before: she hated being alone. So, he stayed. He made no moves to leave, but the choice was hers. If she wanted him gone, she'd say the word. Until then? He wasn't going anywhere.
"Thank you."
"Always."
Noah smiled softly at the yawn. She was so close curled into him, warm and open in a way he never thought he'd see this soon. He stayed perfectly still, not daring to speak, just waiting for her voice to rise again. She nestled her face against his chest and let out a breath that sounded like a mix between relief and resolve.
"Do you want to hear a story?"
He nods. This is the first time she has ever initiated intimacy of any sort, nor has she ever been this willing to open up.
"There's no main character. Just the ones in my sketchbook. I'll tell the story from my point of view, okay? Noah… please don't interrupt me."
She looked at him, not just asking but trusting. And he nodded, giving her the space she needed. He would be her safe place for as long as she let him. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, gentle and reassuring. She yawned softly, settling against his chest, then began to speak.
"I chose this university because it's far from home far from my mom and stepdad. They don't know where I live or maybe they have an idea now. Maybe they assume I'm in one of the campus dorms, but I had to lie to them."
She paused and she sucked in a breath as if what she wanted to say was burdensome. He kept his word and kept quiet and gave her space while assuring her of his presence.
"Before it was 'them,' it was just my mother and me after the divorce. Dad disappeared and mom became the closest thing I had to a friend. We didn't have much, but we were happy... or so I thought. It started of gradually..... she would leave for days, weeks, months. Thankfully, I'd been smart enough to save some money. Our old neighbour gave me food and blankets. I used to go to the temple for basic necessities and faith, I survived... barely. She always came back eventually but the last time she didn't come back alone. She'd found her perfect match; I was fifteen when she found her fated mate. For context in that dystopian world, once we reach a certain age, we're expected to marry. Some families push for status, others for wealth or religion. That was my 'normal.' I figured I'd do the same someday.
So, when my mother met someone, I was happy for her. She deserved that. It had been more than eleven years since my dad left. I wasn't going to stand in the way of her happiness. I was turning sixteen soon, had skipped a grade before because of my IQ but after that I had no one advocating for me. She was actually trying to be a present mother so I took what I can get. Until her soon-to-be husband's nephew came to visit the week before the wedding."
She stopped talking, he felt her shoulders shake and the warmth of her tears. But he experienced the gut-wrenching agony, depression and anger. She clears her throat not looking at him, she looks distant almost numb like.
"My own mother asked a convicted violent sex offender to keep an eye on me for almost a month while they went on their honeymoon. It wasn't a big deal; I know how to be invisible and care for myself. Besides finals were coming up so I had enough on my plate. He didn't seem like a bad guy... At first, I thought he just saw me as a little sister, friend ora nuisance. But one night, he came home drunk. He barged into my room and-"
She hesitated. He has an idea where this story is going and he doesn't like it. He doesn't say anything, she continues more quietly.
"After that, he changed completely. He forced himself on me. I never agreed to anything, Noah. He's an alpha stronger than I was. And he raped me..."
She took a second or two to gather her thoughts, she sunk deeper in his arms and she turned to face him then the ceiling... she continued.
"I stopped talking because no one in my pack listened, but they persecuted me for things my father did and my mother didn't. I started staying late at the library. I hated going home. I was and felt alone, everyone saw and rumours spread villainizing me. I thought of suicide and there were days I honestly wanted to end everything. The only time they paid attention to me was when I stopped crying, speaking or begging for help. I was bullied by my peers, headmaster and everyone that did nothing but watch me suffer. The pack was its own nightmare, but it was not really in my top one list of problems. I have never counted on them for anything especially when they knew what was going on and said nothing. In fact, they added to my daunting list of problems I was not equipped to face.
I hid all the alcohol in the house, but he got drunk elsewhere and came back worse every time. When my mother returned, I thought I'd finally be safe. She's, my mother. She'd see the bruises and take me to the police, take me far away from Umbriel. But when I saw her was the day, I almost died, I've been beaten, starved and assaulted. I was too weak to go on, it was so bad that we couldn't go home and pretend all is well, I had to get urgent care. When I came to, my mother told me not to press charges. Said her husband would pay for my university if I just kept quiet.
She chose him. Her mate. The monster. Her new family. She in my point of view said it was my fault... that I must've led him on or he probably had a lot on his plate. Every excuse you can think of, I heard from my pack, but it was hopeless when it came from my own mother. And that pack, they still categories omegas, women and some betas as nothing more than tools. Vessels to making their lives easier. Those last few weeks of school? He was there. Mom still let him stay in our home."
She turned to face him her emotions raw and fragile. It's like she faced him to see the judgment on his face but all he could do was cry with her. Her emotions are raw and unimaginable, his angry he did not meet her sooner.
"I needed her. I needed someone. But when you're violated, you freeze. You shut down. And when you've got no one? It's a kind of loneliness that eats you alive. And the worst part? I have hyperthymesia. I can't forget anything and my brain replays those moments over and over. No matter how hard I try, there's no off switch. Tonight, my mother called… she wants us to be a family, but she gave me a time limit before she would allow Parker to court me. I've tried to forgive her. I really have. But I can't. I hate her mate. I hate my pack. I hate that bastard. I'd rather be a rogue than ever go back."
She buried her head in his arms, and that was it for Noah. The urge to protect his little Axx, his mate even against her own family, burned hotter than ever. From this day forward, she was his. No one would ever hurt or touch what belonged to him. He might be playful by nature, but when it came to her safety, there was nothing light hearted about him. Every fibre of his being vowed that anyone who had a hand in her suffering would never get close again. Not while he still got breath in his lungs.