Back from injury, Zack led the Warriors with unstoppable force, carving out a monumental legacy for himself and the team in the regular season.
As the widely recognized "God of Stats," Zack played all 82 games in the 2009-10 season, averaging a jaw-dropping 33.2 points, 14.6 rebounds, 10.8 assists, 4.4 blocks, and 1.6 steals per game. Oh, and he casually set a one-of-a-kind record: becoming the player to reach 10,000 points, 4,500 rebounds, 3,000 assists, 1,000 blocks, and 450 steals in the fewest games in NBA history.
But even the unparalleled, chiseled Zack showed up to the team's celebration banquet the day after the regular season ended, looking like he needed to hold his lower back.
"You okay, man?" Kwame Brown asked, genuinely concerned as he eyed the visibly drained Zack. "Want me to hook you up with some of my kidney supplements?"
Thinking back to last night's intense off-court battle, Zack gave a faint smile. "I'm good. Just a few training sessions—what's the big deal?"
Brown knew Zack's stamina was on another level.
But he couldn't help wondering: was last night a four-on-one gauntlet, or did Zack take on four separate battles back-to-back? Either way, in Brown's eyes, Zack's physical prowess was straight-up beastly.
"This season, our only goal is the championship!"
At the banquet, Warriors head coach Mike Malone threw a bucket of cold water on the team to keep them grounded. "You don't want to be the guys who won 75 games in the regular season but couldn't hoist the trophy, do you?"
"Exactly!" Zack, starting to regain his energy, chimed in for Malone. "If we don't win the title, all the records and glory we've built will just be nails in our own coffin of shame!"
The Warriors players, who'd been riding high, instantly sobered up.
"This is our season!" Brown, stepping up as the ultimate second-in-command, declared. "We can't let anyone steal it from us!"
The regular season wrapped up perfectly.
With a 75-7 record, the Warriors sat atop the league. The rest of the NBA? It was one superpower and a bunch of contenders.
The Supersonics grabbed second in the West with 60 wins.
The Lakers took third with 59.
The Mavericks settled for fourth with 58.
As the West's top four, they'd face the Hornets, Jazz, Grizzlies, and Nuggets in the first round of the playoffs.
The Hornets' regular season was a wild ride. After Byron Scott clashed with Rajon Rondo and quit as head coach, betting Rondo couldn't lead the team to the playoffs, Rondo proved him wrong. Alongside David West, Brook Lopez, and veteran Peja Stojaković, the Hornets snagged the eighth seed.
Sure, their playoff berth came partly because the Spurs' Al Jefferson was plagued by injuries, forcing an early tank, and because Steve Kerr's dismantling of the Suns left Amar'e Stoudemire unable to carry them alone. But for a league-owned team, the Hornets—led by West's locker-room leadership and Rondo's tactical genius—were the West's biggest surprise.
"We're united," Rondo said before the playoffs. "We may not match the West's heavyweights, but we're not a team that'll roll over."
Their rollercoaster season was full of grit and drama, and Zack knew the Warriors couldn't sleep on them.
Over in the East, LeBron James—feeling invincible as long as he wasn't compared to Zack—led the Cavaliers to a 59-win season, topping the conference.
James averaged 30 points, 8 rebounds, and 9 assists per game. Even the American media, increasingly critical of him since the Beijing Olympics, admitted he was a cut above everyone but you-know-who.
In the East's first round, the top four—Cavaliers, Celtics, Magic, and Hawks—would face the Bobcats, Bulls, Heat, and Knicks.
Thanks to the Dallas Incident, the Bobcats became the league's most disappointing team by season's end. If the Raptors, with LaMarcus Aldridge, Chris Bosh, and DeMar DeRozan, had pushed a little harder, they might've snagged the final playoff spot.
On April 18, the Western Conference first-round playoffs tipped off.
But before the games could even start, a bombshell from Examiner stole the spotlight from the Warriors.
The site claimed Cavaliers point guard Delonte West had been romantically involved with LeBron James' mother, Gloria, for a while.
Minutes later, Wcwpsports dropped an even juicier story.
According to their source, this wasn't Gloria's first fling with someone close to LeBron. His former agent Aaron Goodwin's twin brother, Eric, had also been involved with her.
"It's common knowledge," the source said. "Delonte's just one of many. Before him, Gloria hooked up with Eric to cure her loneliness, and that's why LeBron fired Aaron."
Despite LeBron and his legal team quickly denying the "Mom-Gate" rumors, Hall of Famer and former Rockets star Calvin Murphy doubled down in an interview, insisting it was true.
"How does Calvin Murphy know this stuff?" Brown, glued to his phone eating up the gossip, asked curiously that night. "What, did he hook up with Gloria too?"
Zack found it odd too.
After all, as a Rockets legend, Murphy had no real ties to LeBron.
Yet after "Mom-Gate" broke, Murphy was adamant Gloria and West were a thing. The way he talked, Zack half-wondered if the league's unofficial "emperor" had a whole squad of suitors.
On a night when Delonte West was crowned the new "emperor," not even the Warriors' game could compete with America's gossip obsession.
Gloria James single-handedly turned every fan into a private detective, digging through her past headlines to figure out who else might've held the "emperor" title.
Zack couldn't know LeBron's true feelings.
But as someone from the future, he knew "Mom-Gate," which historically broke a month later, had tanked LeBron's play at the time.
Gossip aside, Zack and the Warriors had a game to win.
That night against Rondo's Hornets, the Warriors carried their late-season form into the playoffs.
It was a game they didn't even need Zack to dominate to blow out their opponent.
Zack posted a modest 22 points, 10 rebounds, 9 assists, 2 blocks, and 1 steal.
For anyone else, that stat line would be an explosion. For Zack? It was like he played on an empty stomach.
His lackluster playoff debut even caught the eye of The Sun across the pond.
The next day, The Sun speculated, "Clearly, the new GOAT's recent struggles aren't about what's happening on the court."
Maria Sharapova, training in Oakland for the U.S. Open, was their prime suspect. Scarlett Johansson, in town filming a movie, was another. As for Brooklyn Decker and Irina Shayk (who, in Zack's memory, was Cristiano Ronaldo's future girlfriend)? Well, The Sun wasn't ruling them out either.
"Proof that even the league's best can get locked down," The Sun's reporter concluded.
"Rumors! Total nonsense!" Zack fumed before Game 2 against the Hornets. "The Sun is just making stuff up!"
Brown, waiting for Zack to cool off, said, "Honestly, it's not totally made up. The Sun's got some cred on this stuff."
Zack: "…"
"I mean, yeah, I did spend some great nights with them," Zack admitted. "But The Sun can't say they shut me down."
Brown grinned. "So you're saying you don't buy The Sun's NBA All-Defensive Team picks?"
Zack, brimming with confidence, declared, "Nobody in the world can shut me down."
In Game 2, determined to prove himself, Zack turned into a one-man wrecking crew.
Without his say-so, anyone grabbing a rebound risked losing their lunch card and getting the Jaden Sancho treatment. Brown managed just 4 boards all game.
Every slick pass from Steve Nash got turned into a scoring chance for Zack, leaving Nash so fed up he just gave in.
The real winner? Backup point guard Stephen Curry.
Feasting on Zack's force-fed passes, Curry went off, hitting 9 of 15 threes and carrying the Warriors' outside shooting.
In the stands, Hornets legend Dell Curry beamed with pride. "You see that? That's my boy!"
Passing the torch is always a hot NBA topic.
Dell, a legendary shooter, was lucky. Not only did he raise two sons who followed in his footsteps, but his eldest, Stephen, was the future three-point god in Zack's memory.
Also at the game was Ayesha Alexander, Curry's girlfriend, who was in the thick of their romance.
After every bucket, Curry's eyes darted to Ayesha. Postgame, he told reporters, "Her being here gave me endless motivation."
As someone with one-quarter heritage, Ayesha's favorite player was Zack. But knowing the new GOAT's wild off-court life, she laid down the law to Curry that night: "Stephen, if you ever mess around with him, the bathroom's your new home."
Soft-spoken Curry nodded frantically. "Don't worry, babe. He's just a coworker. I'd never roll with him like that."
The Warriors obliterated the Hornets by 38 points in Game 2.
Zack bounced back with a monster 41 points, 21 rebounds, 14 assists, 4 blocks, and 1 steal.
But the Hornets, refusing to quit, gave the Warriors some trouble in Game 3 when the series shifted to New Orleans.
David West, whose contract was up that summer, was a rock, hitting clutch shots to keep the Hornets in it. Brook Lopez, underrated all season, also dominated Zack's sidekick in the paint.
Before his athleticism faded, Lopez's post game was legit, once earning him the nickname "White Duncan" from the U.S. media.
Knowing they had to outscore the Warriors, Rondo sped up the pace, creating tons of fast-break chances for his teammates.
Too bad his limited offensive bag meant the Hornets couldn't exploit the Warriors' weakest defensive spot at point guard.
Final score: 125-114.
The Warriors took a 3-0 series lead with no real scares.
Zack cruised to 30 points, 14 rebounds, 11 assists, 3 blocks, and 2 steals, once again proving The Sun's "Zack's ladies" rumors wrong.
Per the schedule, Game 4 would go down the next day in New Orleans.
Since Brown, the West's supposed second-best center, had been frustrated all series, he pulled Zack aside before the game.
"As the GOAT, you don't want your sidekick getting owned by some no-name white center, right?" Brown argued. "That guy's been flexing on me for three games!"
Zack replied, "Brook's no scrub. By real skill, he's probably the West's third-best center behind Yao and Marc."
"But ESPN ranked me as the West's second-best center!" Brown snapped. "And you agreed with that!"
Knowing he had to throw Brown a bone now and then, Zack didn't hit him with more hard truths.
Instead, he fibbed, "What I meant was, you're so good, the West can't even contain you."
Pausing, he added, "You know, Kwame, to me, you're the NBA's all-time greatest center."
Brown beamed. "All-time greatest? Nah, that's you at center. I'll settle for second-best."
In Game 4, to help Brown blow off steam, Zack unleashed his elite playmaking.
Like a future James Harden turning Clint Capela into Hakeem Olajuwon or Ivica Zubac into Dave Cowens, Zack fed Brown one perfect pass after another.
Brown? With Zack drawing all the attention, he looked like a god descending.
After four seasons together, Zack knew Brown's game inside out. He could find him with no-look passes off pick-and-rolls. Brown, in sync, didn't even need to think to know when Zack's pass was coming.
The dynamic duo—one handling the symptoms, the other the root cause—needed just three quarters to turn Brook Lopez into a museum exhibit.
Lopez, who'd averaged 19 points and 9 rebounds the first three games, got torched on both ends, finishing with 10 points and 7 rebounds before fouling out.
Brown, meanwhile, went 11-for-12 from the field, 6-for-8 from the line, and dropped a gorgeous 28 points and 16 rebounds.
"The first three games, I was just giving my teammates a chance to shine," Brown said postgame, cool as a cucumber. "Game 4? That's the real me."
But no matter how gaudy Brown's numbers were, the truth remained: Zack was Lopez's true nightmare.
"He's just too tough to guard," Lopez said. "He tears through our defense so easily, we can't even focus on his teammates."
David West agreed in his interview: "If he wants, he can make any teammate look like an All-Star."
The Warriors swept the Hornets 4-0, becoming the West's first team to advance past the first round.
Meanwhile, unlike Zack, who shut down rumors with three dominant games, LeBron, still reeling from "Mom-Gate," indirectly fueled Delonte West's "emperor" status.
According to Stephen A. Smith, who'd been having a rough go lately, LeBron noticeably cut back on passes to West since the scandal broke. As the Bobcats fought back to tie their series with the Cavaliers 2-2, LeBron had to clarify: "I'm not avoiding passing to anyone."
"I'm a guy who averages over 9 assists," he said. "I pass based on who's open, period."
…
PS: 10,000-word update today, begging for subscriptions and monthly tickets!
①: Ayesha's one-quarter heritage is why some fans jokingly call her and Curry's son, Canon Curry, "the future hope of basketball," as he could theoretically be naturalized through bloodline. Of course, that's if Canon chooses to play basketball.