Fuji's POV:
"Fuji!"
"No!"
"You have not even-!"
"I already know what you are going to ask, and the answer is no!"
"Then as the Dark Lord, I order-!"
"If you try to force this, I will resign from my position!"
This love-blind fool badgering me is my old friend and superior, the dark lord himself, Tian Taio, who according to my information, is having trouble in paradise, as is expected seeing as his crush is basically a catastrophe waiting to happen.
"Come on! It is not that big of a favor! Or could it be that the lord of the purple palace of all people is afraid of a mere woman!" He said, trying to provoke me into doing what he wants.
"I am!" I admitted.
"Huh?"
Trying not to laugh at that dumbfounded expression on his face, I continued.
"The last time I interacted with that woman I nearly lost my life!"
"So? We have faced mortal danger multiple times in the past! How was that any different?"
"This was different! She is not like the other foes we have faced! The strong tend to be arrogant and reckless in how they strike, while the weak as the underdog need to be crafty and meticulous in how they fight, but she is just so unfair it's sickening!"
As the one in charge of gathering information, I am usually the first to notice when something is amiss, whether it be foreign or internal affairs, I am usually somewhat in the know about everything, but there was nothing back then. I had planted spies and informants all over the continent to keep an eye out for anything of note, and yet somehow, not a single one of them had given any sign of something being out of the ordinary while she was uniting half of the 1st continent against us. Supposedly, she had even been spying on us from inside the very walls of the dark palace itself, and yet I did not notice anything until the siege on our former capital, and by the end, the only thing I had achieved was falling into her trap. I only survived thanks to Alex's foresight, escaping back to the 2nd continent was a challenge. In truth, had I stayed rather than fled back then, I may have been able to maintain our hold on some of our territory seeing as she no longer had the Walpurgis Island, but my entire information network was basically uprooted, and I was under the assumption she had ceased the artifacts in our vault. Hence, every time I passed a city, regardless whether or not it seemed to still be standing, I tried to sneak around it, for fear of a masked girl suddenly bolting out in my direction with a divine spear. From start to end, she had me dancing in the palm of her hand as she toyed around with me. There was not a single moment I had any control of the situation.
"Of course, I know she is no slouch in combat! After all, she is the master of the mad mage himself, but I feel confident if we fought fairly, I would be able to overpower her! However, it is not her personal strength that scares me! Most wouldn't have believed it if you told them that the mad woman who just a few nights ago went around assaulting people dressed like a flying rodent was the genius tactician who conquered a continent, and that is what scares me! Her confusing behavior doesn't make any sense to me but it makes me think she has something big brewing behind the scenes! Something which I would rather not be on the wrong end of!"
"You are overreacting, and besides, she is on our side at the moment!"
"I am not so sure about that!"
"Hm? What do you mean?"
"Unlike you, I have actually been listening to some of Alex's warnings rather than wasting our court mage's time by grilling him on tips to seduce his master only to get redirected to his more misleading uncle!"
"Where else should I have turned to, when the usual expert on the female heart was refusing to talk!"
"I was staying silent because it was in everyone's best interest that you not bring more danger down upon us by trying to bed her!"
"Ha! What could possibly be dangerous about bringing a person as capable as her to our side? You yourself just complimented her didn't you! With her by my side, we will be stronger than ever!"
"It is really just in the ear and out the other with you, isn't it?"
"What?"
"One of the things Alex warned us about if you'll recall is that having his master as an ally is only slightly better than having her as an enemy!"
"Hm? He was probably just talking about her eccentricities!"
"Eccentricities?"
"She has her own way of doing and saying things, while being incredibly stubborn! What that elf was most likely referring to was probably her inability to work together with others, which is what I need your assistance with!"
"I told you no! We all tried to stop you, but you did it anyways, so anything that comes off this is squarely on your shoulders!"
"I am not asking you to interact with Nox personally, okay!"
"Hm?"
The love-blind fool continued explaining what it was he wanted, and I was somewhat relieved to see he at least had some sense of reason left in him. What he wanted wasn't for me to try and charm her into obedience or for me to monitor her outings on his behalf like last time. Apparently, he wanted me to try and remove the flock of admiring women who has taken residence in the Pink Palace, as his crush has very humorously managed to turn them into a shield against him. Every time he visits now, he'll get swarmed by the women of the palace, and due to the current political situation, killing them like he did in the past would be unwise seeing as some are of important backgrounds that could cause quite the upheaval if they were to perish.
"So, all you wish is for me to remove your admirers from the pink palace?"
"Yes? You can do it, right? Knowing you, you probably already know she is not present there for most of the day, so you will have plenty of time to do your magic without interacting with her!"
"True, but if it is just this, why could you not just do so yourself? I do not see why you need my help with this?" I asked, as something just didn't sit well with me about this.
I might be the better looking one here, but the man before me is, or rather, was the most chased bachelor on the continent. In fact, this whole issue is entirely caused by the hoards of women who refuse to leave him alone. I do not see why he could not just lure them all out himself, or even just order some soldiers to drag them all out of the pink palace by the hair.
"Well, as I can't rely on you for things with her, I have to watch Noxy myself to keep her out of trouble!"
"And how has that been going so far?"
"…! Good?"
"I may not be actively keeping tabs on her, but I still hear about her ongoings through the grapevine you know!"
"…! Well, this lord has other duties too, you know! I cannot just be watching her-!"
"In other words, you lose track of her often and spend a lot of time trying to find her again!"
"…!"
"I thought so! *Sigh* Well, if she was easy to keep tabs on, she would not have driven us off the 1st continent that easily! Can you not just order some of our soldiers to drag them all out instead?"
"Because I need this to happen without the use of force! Noxy gave permission for those miscreants to be there, and she might throw a fit if I forcefully removed them from her palace without permission! That is why I want you to 'persuade' them all to leave and never return to the Pink Palace! Can I count on you for this Fuji?"
"…! Fine, but only if you guarantee me that I will not have to interact with that lunatic woman of yours!"
Given how far she'll go over the smallest of slights, it is only a matter of time before another catastrophe strikes should we not separate her from those rabid women who already views her as an enemy. If anything, I am a little surprised nothing big has happened already if I had to be perfectly honest. That is why despite my reluctance, I agreed to help this hopeless guy get rid of his admirers on the condition he make certain his mistress is not present when I do so.