Nox's POV:
"Okay so this is how we're going to do this." I said as I pulled out a red marker and started drawing on the map.
I drew an arc separating the northeastern corner of the continent from the rest, signifying the border between them and the sages where the battle front will be, and as I proceeded to split the battle front into three main sections, I started explaining my brilliant plan.
"So, after I send over the declaration of war we'll-!"
"Hold on! Declaration? Would it not serve us better to conduct a surprise assault on the enemy instead?" One of the savage city lords from a nearby, well city, asked.
"What's your name?" I asked the peanut brained idiot.
"It's J-!"
"Now listen here Jimmy!"
"That's not my name."
"This may be war Jimmy, but we are not savages who'd disregard etiquette like those barbarians who so crudely invaded our boarders without word or warning! Now, back to what I was saying! We'll split our forces evenly across these areas here and slowly push them all back. Wife-beater you'll be in charge of the forces in the east corner over here alongside the muscle-maniac. Crazed granny, you're going over there in the north with the old man, and dumbass, you're going to be in the middle right here guarding me while I do a thing! The rest of you will be reporting directly to them! You all follow me so far?" I said as I looked at the rest of my goons to see if their tiny brains could comprehend my flawless strategy.
"Are you stupid? THIS IS ABSURD! The enemy have both greater strength and greater numbers than us, and your brilliant plan is to spread out our forces in an attempt to push them back through force! Even a fool can tell this will never work!" The rat man said, showcasing his new experimental material where he points out the obvious.
"Not your best work, but this joke has some potential rat-man. Anyways, let's get serious here. Rat man, you'll continue refining your comedy genius as you and your personal forces guard this small pathway here between me and the wife-beater. It's a bit obscure but-!"
"THIS IS MADNESS! SURELY, I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO THINKS SO!" The rat man shouted over me, looking for support around the room. Sadly, as usual, nobody but me got his joke.
"Well, as much as I hate to say it, he is not wrong. Ping is right, Nox. With our current lack of manpower, spreading out our forces would only be a mistake. Instead of us pushing them back on all fronts like you want, it would be the other way around. Instead, why don't we have some of our forces spread out around the border who'll focus on delaying the enemies. Meanwhile, we'll concentrate the majority of our forces on key locations that could potentially give us a strategic advantage, for example, Black Iron Fort. Being built into a mountain makes an assault from the sky difficult and being originally designed as a prison, it's walls would naturally be rather sturdy, making it great for a defensive battle. As it was part of the dark empire, there might be some secret entrance or weak spot we could take advantage of to bypass the defenses when ceasing or retreating from it." The dumbass said.
"Good ideas like that are why you're in charge of defending me over here Dumbass! But no, that's not what we'll be doing. I'm going to be working on something that will flip this war on its head. I just need you guys to hold the line until then, kay!"
"Hmph! This is exactly why you are not qualified to be the clan leader! What could you possibly do to overturn the share difference in power and numbers!"
"That, my rat of man, is classified!"
"YOU EXPECT US TO RISK OUR LIVES ON THIS ASININE PLAN WITHOUT A FULL EXPLENATION?!"
"Yeah, pretty much! Anyways yo-!"
"I REFUSE TO FO-!"
As regrettable as it is to interrupt the rat man's comedy routine, I really needed him to listen to this part. So, I placed a face hugger mask on him that mutes his mouth hole.
"That's better! Now where was I? Rat man, you'll be in charge of guarding this valley here with your personal force. This pathway here that goes all the way around back and up the wife-beaters metaphorical ass, is either concealed by the terrain or too far away for any observation towers or guard stations to properly monitor. That's why I need you to ambush any who might try to come through this valley here. The valley is a bit narrow, limiting the number of people who can come crawling through at once, which should give you a fighting chance at least, but if your ambush fails, retreat and send word to wife-beater that he needs to cover his butt before the enemy arrives. This is a very important task, so to motivate you to do your very best, like no one ever will, I'm sending over your wife and kid as well."
"Lass! Isn't that going a bit too far! Feng is not much of a fighter, and Jing she-!"
"Oh, stop your yappin! This is probably the safest place on the battlefield! The road is pretty obscure and not well known even by the locals. In fact, it took me forever to fish out a map that actually showed this road cause the modern ones forgot to include it. With the enemy generals mostly consisting of foreign soldiers from the next continent over, their lay of the land should be pretty questionable. In all likelihood, this place won't even see any action before the war ends. The rat-man being there is mostly as a precaution." I said, before removing the face-hugging mask from the rat-man's face.
"UGH! DAMN YOU! I'LL-!"
"PING!" The old man shouted as the rat-man was about to thank me by hugging my throat with his hands.
The rat man then took a deep breath as he left the room, grumbling about some whore who stole his fish or clam, or something like that, I wasn't paying attention.
"HEY, WE'RE NOT DONE TA-!"
"No, let him go! He's got better things to do! Speaking of! Dumbass, wife-beater, old man and crazed granny, I'm giving you detention on account of being annoying! The rest of you are free to go home and prepare your homework for the upcoming war! Now scram! Shoo! Get out of here!" I said, as I pushed the few all people of authority in this section of the country that bothered to show up, and the muscle-maniac, out of the war room.
Once I was alone with the four, I could trust not to spill my beans on account of me owning their souls, or that one dude who's banging my mom's ghost, I threw out a consumable privacy artifact to erect an anti-eavesdropping barrier. I then pulled out my ultraviolet flashlight to make the invisible ink on the map visible as I began to explain the rest of my plan.