Okay, Gilded's speechless face was very funny.
"Hello," Gléonwon said again, looking confused by Gilded's reaction. "Would you like to come inside?"
Gilded was still staring between Gléonwon and the temple statues, then back at Gléonwon. His face went through about twelve different expressions before settling on something between awe and horror.
"A Caerwyn temple with an actual dragon!"
"Hello," Gléonwon said a third time, tail swishing. "I live here! I have many crystals!"
Penguin chirped from my arms, as if to say that was true.
Gléonwon looked so much like a weird imitation of Alberan trying to catch the attention of travelers that I had to bite back a laugh.
Gilded took a step forward, then stopped. "Wait. We're walking into a god's domain?! Just like that?"
"We've been inside many times," I said. "Your book said that, because of the Blessing of St. Caerwyn, this domain sustains itself even without the god, so I don't think there should be any issues. Also… well, you wanted crystals. Gléonwon has crystals."
Llewellyn snorted.
"Wait, you're right," Gilded said. "I forgot about the Blessing." He seemed to be having some sort of crisis. "Do you have any idea what my mother would— No, wait, I can't tell her about this. She'd literally move in."
"Please don't tell your mother," I said immediately.
Gilded had already reached the entrance and was looking up at Gléonwon.
"Wow," he said. "Uh. Hello. You're very… big. Sorry. I'm stunned and I don't know what I'm saying."
"Hello," Gléonwon said a fourth time. "It's okay. And I can be small too! Would you like to see?"
Before Gilded could reply, Gléonwon lit up gold and shrank down.
Gilded jumped back, then looked down, stunned.
"That was amazing," he said, seeming genuinely awed.
"Right?!" Gléonwon said, turning big again and looking very proud of himself. "Are you coming?"
We followed him in.
Gilded's eyes landed on the flaming chandelier, before moving to the columns and reliefs, and… the mountains and mountains of crystals.
He let out a noise.
"What is this, Aladdin's cave?! Where did you even find all these?"
I wondered if Gléonwon was just going to blurt it out, but instead he said,
"They're for sale! Do you want to buy them?"
Llewellyn's eyes cut to mine and we both tried to keep a straight face.
…Well, I suppose Gléonwon the Accidental Capitalist was par for the course at this point.
"Right," Gilded said. He raised a hand—to sense the crystals, I assumed—but he didn't seem to have any complaints about their state. "How much are we talking about?"
Gléonwon brightened. "I have many! Different colors, different sizes. Would you like to see?"
"Yes. Obviously yes."
"How many Coins do you have?" Gléonwon asked.
"What?"
"You need Coins to buy crystals," Gléonwon explained. "That's how selling works."
"Right," Gilded said again, visibly pulling himself together. "Coins. How much per crystal?"
"Ten thousand," Gléonwon said immediately.
Damn. Didn't he say the System paid him… what, fifty Coins per crystal, more or less? And now he was asking ten thousand?!
I was almost proud.
Gilded choked. "Ten thousand Coins?! For one crystal?!"
…Honestly, I almost felt bad for him. Dungeon modding was an expensive hobby.
Llewellyn seemed more amused by the minute.
"They're very good crystals," Gléonwon said, looking worried. "Is that too little? Should I ask for more?"
"No!" Gilded said. "Ten thousand is... negotiable. What about bulk pricing?"
They haggled for the next twenty minutes. Well, Gilded haggled. Gléonwon just kept suggesting random numbers to Gilded's progressively more horrified face while Penguin refereed the exchange with loud chirps.
Gléonwon really was relentless. Maybe I shouldn't have told him Gilded was rich. Ah, well.
Llewellyn and I made out against a pillar in the back of the temple, half-tuning them out. It was still our date night after all and we had nothing else to do here.
Though we did hear that at one point Gléonwon offered a discount if Gilded brought him "many books about dragons".
"Deal!" Gilded said immediately. "Books about dragons. I will find them! I will write them myself if I have to. But… I'm running out of Coins," he rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't have a System contract, so it's difficult for me to get Coins. Can I pay in gold?"
…Wait, what?
Llewellyn and I stopped kissing and looked at each other.
Gléonwon's eyes lit up.
"Gold? Like treasure gold?"
"Ingots, gold coins, gold leaves, rings, bracelets, a bit of everything," Gilded said, looking like he was pondering his inventory. "I also have a couple of gold… flutes? To drink from."
"Yes!" Gléonwon said immediately. "I love gold!"
Okay, this was a development I hadn't seen coming. Didn't he say he was not a noble?!
I mean, he was named Gilded, but this was a bit much!
Llewellyn was also frowning. "Where is he getting all that gold?"
I had no idea.
"Maybe he loots the dungeons he mods?" I asked. "It might be why he mods them in the first place."
"But there was literally nothing in the one we went into," Llewellyn said.
That was a good point. After all that, we only got a tankard to turn wine into water.
…Wait, he did have some kind of Jesus theme going—Llewellyn was right! I even got the boots to walk on water in his dungeon.
"That dungeon had been incomplete," I remembered, "maybe the gold comes later?"
Llewellyn didn't seem too convinced.
Gilded pulled out a gold ingot from his inventory and handed it to Gléonwon. It gleamed in the light of the chandelier.
Gléonwon looked so shocked he turned small at once, almost toppling back. At this size, the ingot was half as big as him.
"Actually," Gilded said, eyeing the pile of crystals he'd already selected, "would you take gold for all of them? I'd like to keep my Coins if you don't mind, but I can give you gold."
"Yes!" Gléonwon said, clutching the ingot, looking ecstatic.
I grinned and pulled Llewellyn in again.
They completed the trade, Gléonwon carefully stacking his new gold coins and ingots while Gilded packed away his crystals. It looked like he'd bought a lot. Several of Gléonwon's mountains had vanished.
"Pleasure doing business with you!" Gléonwon said. "You can come back any time!"
"You're very expensive," Gilded said, shuddering, "but these crystals are practically purring, so I suppose I can't complain about the price too much."
"They are?" Gléonwon said, looking surprised.
"It means you've treated them well."
"Oh!" Gléonwon said. "I did! I mined them myself and polished them one by one."
Gilded seemed intrigued, but didn't ask any more questions about caves and mining. Which was weird. I'd bet anything he'd come snooping around soon.
Still, for now he seemed satisfied.
"This place is incredible," he said, looking around again once all his crystals had been put away. "How did you even find it?"
"We didn't find it," I said, peeling myself off the pillar where Llewellyn and I had been making out. "We found him in a Distorted Realm, before he knew how to become small. We didn't know where he could be safe and the System suggested this place. On that note, if you say anything to anyone—"
"I know, I know," Gilded said, waving his hand. "Llewellyn had already started with the threats before I even knew what they were about."
He pressed a hand against a column and it lit up with gold light for a moment, before dimming again.
"Wow," Gléonwon said. "Is that why you're named Gilded?"
Gilded looked surprised and stared down at his hand.
"Actually, yes," he said, still looking confused. "My mother always said my Magic looked gold since I was a baby. But that's not unusual. Your Magic is gold too. Have you explored the rest of the temple?"
"There isn't much," I said.
"Just this room and the cave nearby," Gléonwon confirmed.
Gilded blinked. "This is a god's domain."
"And?" Llewellyn said, sounding impatient.
Gilded's hand went to his chin and he looked around, immersed in thought.
"And," he said, walking the perimeter, "that's not how Caerwyn works."
He inspected all the stones in the wall, until—
"Ha!"