"What, fuck me?"
"So Peter, you are grateful to me and now you want to do something with me?"
Deadpool rolled across the ground, then lay on his side and propped his face up with one hand in a deliberately seductive pose.
"Damn it, should I let Thor cry on me, or do something fun with Peter? This is such a painful choice."
He blew Little Spider a kiss with two fingers. "Why not both, as a reward for saving the Marvel universe?"
Holland Spider's whole body stiffened. His scalp tingled with discomfort and nausea twisted in his stomach.
"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up."
A white web shot out instantly, wrapping Deadpool from head to toe.
"Whoa, I am into this… Mmm mmm."
His mouth was sealed at last.
A few minutes later, Deadpool lay bound on the ground while Holland Spider explained the entire situation of the Universe Collision.
Only then did the people of the b2 Universe fully understand what had happened.
"Why did you not explain this clearly from the start?" b2 Iron Man said in disbelief.
s Universe Tony spread his hands. "Would it have changed anything? Even now that you understand, would you really agree to let us use the Infinity Stones without hesitation?"
Iron Man fell silent.
When it came to a collision between universes, it had always been a zero sum choice.
If the Stones failed, the simplest solution was total destruction of the other side.
Neither side could truly trust the other.
"See, you think exactly like I do." Tony sighed. "We are both Iron Man, and we both want Morgan, who says I love you three thousand, to grow up safely."
Halfway through speaking, Tony suddenly felt sick.
Because Deadpool had just said the exact same words to him earlier.
b2 Iron Man clearly felt the same.
Both Tonys showed identical expressions of disgust.
"That bastard Deadpool, Peter, help me kick him."
"Okay."
Bang.
"Mmm mmm. Mmm."
It was unbearable to watch.
Everyone silently turned their heads away, afraid their eyes would be spiritually polluted.
"Damn it," Tony muttered, catching a glimpse out of the corner of his eye before quickly looking away again.
"This tight suited lunatic is neutral and has healing abilities. You have no objections to him using the Infinity Stones now, right?"
The people of the b2 Universe looked at Deadpool with complicated expressions. They wanted to object, but no one could suggest a better option.
In the end, they reluctantly accepted it.
"Alright, Peter, go talk to the tight suited pervert again. We will wait over there."
Tony patted Holland Spider on the shoulder and retreated with the others, putting more than ten meters between themselves and Deadpool.
Holland Spider stood alone in the open space, wishing for a brief moment that the Earth would swallow him whole.
At that moment, golden sparks flared into existence in the sky.
Dozens of massive mystic portals opened behind b2 Universe Captain America.
"On your left."
Falcon flew out of one of the portals.
Wakandan warriors, Asgardian soldiers, and Kamar Taj sorcerers followed.
After the vanished half of b2 Earth was restored, Doctor Strange of their universe quickly gathered the remaining forces and brought them to the battlefield.
"Thanos!" Drax roared as he charged out.
b2 Universe Doctor Strange descended from the air, still thinking about that impossible one in fourteen million chance.
But the moment they all arrived, they froze.
"Where is Thanos?" someone shouted.
"Why are there so many Captain Americas and Iron Mans?"
…
Ten minutes later.
"Remember, all you need to do is push the universe away using the Stones. If that fails, then snap your fingers."
Holland Spider spoke slowly and clearly as he instructed Deadpool.
By now, the webbing had been removed.
Deadpool stood proudly atop a massive rock, one hand raised high, the other on his hip in an exaggerated heroic pose.
Within ten meters of him, not a single person stood.
Beyond that distance, people were packed tightly in circles.
This was Deadpool's demand.
He wanted to stand at the highest point like a savior.
He even asked Holland Spider to record everything so he could show Vanessa later.
In the end, it was Deadpool who would attempt to resolve the Universe Collision.
His healing ability was terrifyingly strong.
And although his personality was questionable, he had already saved half a universe the moment he arrived.
No one present was more suitable.
Deadpool raised his right hand toward the sky.
"Today, Marvel's savior gets the perfect camera angle."
The Stones on the Gauntlet lit up one by one.
Brilliant beams of energy shot upward, piercing the sky.
Deadpool's sleeve exploded inch by inch, revealing a purplish black burn spreading rapidly across his arm and into his chest.
Yet he continued to shout with wild excitement.
"Oh yeah, this is definitely my longest shot ever."
No one focused on his nonsense anymore.
All eyes were locked on the instruments and the distant reach of the energy.
The power of the Stones slammed into the dimension where the Main Universe Earth existed.
Every index on the monitoring devices spiked violently.
Main Universe Doctor Strange opened the third eye on his forehead and stared at the heavens.
"No. The energy is not enough to push the Earth," he said immediately.
Jarvis confirmed it. "It is affecting the Earth, but what needs to be pushed is the entire universe. This output is insufficient."
"Deadpool, snap your fingers!" Doctor Strange shouted.
Deadpool stopped at once, yelping as he tore off the Gauntlet and blew frantically on his scorched right hand.
"Oh no, my precious hand. You have to recover quickly, how am I supposed to survive lonely nights without you?"
He hugged his ruined hand with tragic affection.
The burns were deep and ugly, but the flesh began regenerating at a visible speed.
Within moments, the exposed wounds closed, scabs forming and falling away.
"Perfect. My joyful life is back."
Deadpool picked up the damaged Gauntlet and forced his hand back into it.
"One more round. Cheap equipment, but it will do."
He lifted his hand again and shouted toward the crowd.
"Peter, erase the last take. We are doing this again."
Holland Spider silently gave an OK sign with the camera.
"Excellent. Everyone look at me one last time. I am Marvel Jesus."
Snap.
A terrifying cosmic level shockwave erupted outward from the Earth itself.
Unlike Thanos erasing half of existence, and unlike Deadpool restoring the vanished, this energy was violent and overwhelming.
It felt like a nuclear explosion had gone off in front of them.
Blinding white light swallowed everything.
When the light finally faded, silence followed.
The giant rock was still there.
But Deadpool was gone.
In his place lay only a pile of blackened bones, coated in thick carbon.
The Iron Gauntlet had completely disintegrated into ash.
The six Infinity Stones lay scattered atop the remains of Deadpool's right hand.
"Is he… dead?" b2 Universe Peter whispered. "Did he really sacrifice himself to save two universes?"
For a moment, no one spoke.
Sorrow, awe, and disbelief filled the air.
Holland Spider stared at the bones in shock.
Even Iron Man had left a body behind after snapping his fingers.
Yet Deadpool had been reduced to nothing but a skeleton.
Tears welled in Holland Spider's eyes.
"He is… he is…"
"He is still alive."
The voice came suddenly.
Everyone turned.
It was Jarvis, though several mistook him for Vision at first.
Data flickered in his eyes as he analyzed the remains.
"Residual muscle tissue is regrowing. Brain activity is redeveloping."
"Based on the rate of regeneration, Mr. Deadpool will recover in several days."
Even Jarvis sounded astonished.
Deadpool's healing ability defied all known biological logic.
Even neural tissue was reforming.
Upon hearing this, the entire battlefield fell into stunned silence.
"If we took him to the Land of Nihility, just selling his meat could buy us a new spaceship," Rocket muttered.
"I am Groot," Groot objected.
"I was joking, I was joking," Rocket replied quickly.
On the s Universe side, Tony rubbed his temples.
"It is good that he is not dead… but Deadpool being alive or dead both feel wrong in their own ways."
Tony looked up at the sky.
The Main Universe Earth still hung above them.
But it was far more distant now.
Not a looming continent, but a shrinking disk.
"The distance between the two universes has increased," Doctor Strange said grimly. "But they are still approaching."
He looked down slowly.
"He failed."
___
Happy New Month