I had thought several times about what my reunion with Pandora would be like. Everything about her made me uneasy, although a part of me looked forward to it, given the attachment my first doppelganger had for her.
However, right now my heart felt nothing but turmoil: an emotion caused by my mistakes, by Rem's death, Satella's indifference, and Echidna's silence; also, of course, by Pandora's manipulation. My future was almost as dark and uncertain as my past.
In my supposed memories, she was my ally, my teacher... But her actions didn't fit that role. Up until now, she had only subjected me to inhuman "trials" sending my counterparts to kill me and anyone else who got in the way. She didn't even deign to appear when I was disoriented, to at least give me an explanation.
"What did you come here for?!" Looking around, I noticed Betty was nowhere to be seen. "And where's the girl?! If you dared to hurt her...!"
"Don't worry, she's fine," the witch explained calmly. "I want to have our meeting in private, preferably without anyone interrupting us."
Pandora moved closer to me, radiating a dazzling aura. Seeing her in person was very different from seeing her on a screen: her mere presence caused a great emotional stir, making me feel as if I should bow down before her and worship her.
"I missed the sound of your voice, my beloved apostle." She placed her hands on my shoulders and whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
"Don't be cynical!" I resisted her hypnotic charm and pushed her away. "Stop playing the mysterious one and start talking! What's all this crap about?!"
Even though I shook her, she didn't try to break free from my grip and instead looked at me with a sympathetic smile. Her relaxed and casual attitude made me feel insulted.
"Why are you looking at me like that!?"
"I'm just trying to help you vent."
Her response left me speechless for a few moments. That persuasive and emotionally distant attitude reminded me of Makima from Chainsaw Man, which didn't sound good at all.
"Do you think this is a way to vent?!" I yelled in her face. "I'm desperate! I need answers or I'm going to lose my mind!"
In fact, I feared the truth might be even worse than ignorance, but in any case, I'd end up mentally broken, so I preferred to know why these things were happening to me. My life had taken a 180-degree turn: I was stripped of my world, of everything I had, and thrown into a hell where I couldn't let my guard down because the people around me were in danger or were putting me in danger.
I wondered what would have happened if I had distanced myself from the main events in order to live a quiet life. Perhaps that would have been the best option, but now it was too late to regret it. Besides, I had the feeling that even if I had tried, something would have stopped me (Pandora herself, probably).
"What do you want to know?" she asked, without changing her expression.
To my surprise, Pandora readily gave in to my demands. She probably wanted to make a good impression, which wouldn't work, but it was fine if she cooperated. It didn't take me long to think of my first question.
"What I do here, the trials, my other selves... What the hell does it all mean?"
My counterparts were relentless enemies who granted me memories and abilities upon defeat. They didn't speak, but they could think and probably feel as well. Supposedly, they were trials I had to overcome to become stronger, but I couldn't understand how I could have agreed to something like that.
In what kind of world would I agree to become a puppet? It wasn't possible: I would never give up my life or my freedom...
"It means I'm preparing you to become the Sage of the new prophecy. The one who must open the boundary."
"Huh?"
"For your destiny to be fulfilled, there are a series of steps to follow. You sacrificed your life many times for that purpose. You will understand it better with time."
"With time?" I scoffed. "Fuck time and destiny. I have no patience left, nor the will to fight. I lost everything I had in my world, and now in this one."
Pandora looked at me with pity.
"You're sad about that girl's death. I can see you were very fond of her."
The indirect mention of Rem was like a knife to my chest. My heart bled at the thought of her. She was the first person I truly connected with, the first and only one to accept me for who I am.
"Of course I did," I blurted out. "At least she wasn't a manipulative witch who kept secrets from me."
The woman in front of me caused the deaths of many innocent people, and although I couldn't prove it, I was sure that Pandora could have caused Rem's death in order to achieve her goal, whatever it was.
Thinking about it, my other self was really blind if he made a contract with her! How did things end up like this?
Upon hearing my harsh words, Pandora jumped, as if she had been slapped.
"Is that what you think of me?" She couldn't tell if she was offended or sad. The only thing that was clear was her surprise.
"So far you haven't given me any reason to think otherwise."
We remained silent. Despite everything, I couldn't look at her directly without feeling captivated by her beauty and guilty for treating her badly, so I turned my back on her and lay down again, as if I were going to completely ignore her existence.
However, she spoke again after a few seconds.
"Look at me."
Her tone of voice was neutral. It didn't sound like an order or a plea. I remained still despite my curiosity.
"For what?"
"Just do it."
I almost refused, but then I remembered that Pandora had easily made Betty disappear, and I might decide not to bring her back, not to mention how easily she and Echidna could manipulate my mind. Perhaps it wasn't wise to anger someone with those powers.
So, reluctantly, I turned to her to find out what she wanted to show me.
"My God!"
Some might say that name should not be used in vain, but I was certain that before my eyes lay a divine miracle.
Pandora had removed the cloak that covered her, leaving her skin and flesh completely exposed. She had a slender figure, modestly proportioned but ideal for her height and facial features.
She was too alluring, like forbidden fruit. I knew I'd be lost if I let myself be swayed by her charm, but my mind was weak and clouded.
"What are you doing?!" I turned completely red.
"I want to show you my whole being. That way, there's nothing you can't see."
That's not what I meant!" Despite my words, I couldn't take my eyes off her.
"I would never lie to you," Pandora said, crawling across the bed and coming closer to me again. "My purpose is to serve you in any way I can."
I tried to get away, but she was faster and caught me in a hug.
"We used to be very close, but you forgot. I'll help you remember... how close we are."
"Shit, I can't move..." Or maybe I didn't want to move.
When Pandora's hands touched my back and slowly moved up to my neck, I felt my head spin. She was awakening something inside me.
But that awakening was suppressed by bitter remorse. Rem's ghost appeared and squeezed my heart.
It was my fault she ended up like that. I should have been able to save her. If I weren't so useless, so hopelessly stupid, I would have.
Not only did I fail her, I was also insulting her love and her memory by letting myself be swayed by another woman's machinations. My self-criticism began to transform into self-hatred.
"Enough..."
"Don't resist, my beloved... Let me help you."
"I SAID ENOUGH!" I yelled, releasing a pulse of miasma.
Suddenly, Pandora's head exploded; her blood and brains splattered the bed, the walls, and my own body. The explosive rage I felt turned to shock as I realized what I had done.
I murdered someone on reflex, because they annoyed me and I wanted some silence: a trivial motivation. I felt awful because of how pleasurable it was, not to mention the grotesque sight I got.
For a moment, I wondered if I would have done the same if Betty had made me lose my temper. The thought chilled me to the bone.
"Shit, shit, shit!"
I clutched my head and began to babble incoherently out of anguish. I no longer recognized myself; what was happening to me? I felt like a monster unable to control its destructive impulses. At this rate, I would end up hurting the few important people I had left.
"It can't be!" My eyes filled with tears and I sobbed helplessly. "Why does everything always get screwed?! What the fuck did I do wrong?!"
In my shock, I didn't notice that the blood had completely disappeared, as if it had never been there in the first place. Similarly, the person whose head I had crushed moments before stood unharmed, right in front of me.
"It's okay," Pandora's voice brought me back to reality. She cupped my face in her hands, gazing intently at me with her blue eyes. "I'm here with you, so just focus on me. Relax, and I'll take care of easing your pain."
That was my greatest fear. I couldn't trust Pandora, because that would be repeating the same mistake my other versions had made. If she intended to control me, I'd be taking the bait all over again.
"Wait..."
I tried to back away, but the witch effectively silenced me with a kiss on the lips. This simple gesture unleashed a flood of flashbacks in my mind. I suddenly recalled dozens, no, hundreds of similar scenes: moments where I found myself emotionally broken, just like now, and Pandora was always there for me.
It happened when I was the Hunter and when I was the Swordsman; it probably also happened in other lives I didn't yet remember. Those memories came back laden with an old feeling of overflowing, uncontrollable love.
I was immediately ashamed for having distrusted her before. I was truly confused, blinded by fear and pain. However, now everything was clear.
"How could I forget all that? She is my Pandora, mine and mine alone."
The next instant, Pandora was pushed down and trapped beneath me.
"Ah!" She made a surprised noise and smiled when I resumed the kiss on my own, being much more enthusiastic and dominant than before. "Yes, this is what I meant..."
Pandora surrendered completely to the act, letting me do whatever I wanted with her body. I wasted no time and decided to seize the opportunity. My anguish vanished, replaced by an equally intense lust.
It was as if I had regained my senses. I felt no pain or sadness, only excitement and adoration for the magnificent beauty before my eyes.
I began by sliding a hand between her legs, tracing her velvety thighs with a gentle caress that sent a tingle of pleasure through her. At the same time, I marked her skin with kisses that traveled down her neck and chest until they reached her breasts.
"Hngh!" Pandora moaned as she felt an electrifying stimulation in her nipples, courtesy of my tongue and teeth working on them.
I smiled at her reaction and moved my hand past her inner thigh, reaching her slightly damp crotch.
Pandora shuddered at my touch. At first, I only felt the surface with my fingers, but then I went deeper, causing a muffled cry from her.
"Look at you... A saintess shouldn't behave like that," I mocked, enjoying her unusual expressions of lust. "It ruins that whole image of purity."
"It doesn't matter... Because only you know this side of me."
Pandora smiled and kissed me again. It wasn't long before we were both breathless; especially her, because the frequency of her moans increased as her body reached a peak of pleasure, spraying my hand and the bed in the process.
I looked at the wet sheets and sighed inwardly. It would be a problem having to explain that: telling the truth was out of the question, but I also didn't want to make up some story about wetting the bed or something like that.
I would deal with that later. I had other priorities right now.
"I can't wait any longer," Pandora said with a mischievous expression, helping me remove my pants and underwear, immediately fixing her gaze on the (humble) beast that was freed from its painful confinement. "It's been a long time, but it looks just as I remember it."
"Is that good or bad? I have a lot of insecurities about the size issue..."
Completely ignoring my suggestion, Pandora positioned herself over my hips, holding my erect member until it aligned with her entrance.
I tensed up quite a bit. I was just an instant away from losing my virginity in a rather unconventional way.
For a second, I had the feeling that I was making a serious mistake, but it vanished completely when Pandora inserted my entire length into her in one go.
Her insides gripped me tightly, igniting euphoria, but she gasped in pain. Then I noticed a trickle of blood running down from where our bodies met.
"You're bleeding..."
"Of course," Pandora managed to smile despite the pain she was undoubtedly feeling. "You're the first, just like always."
She meant that we'd had sex before, but in other versions of the world. So, when everything reset, it was like it had never happened.
"Only the first one?" I jokingly raised an eyebrow.
"Also the only one," her voice was a little weak.
She placed her hands on my chest, using me for support while she got used to the sensation of being stretched from the inside.
Despite the pain, Pandora never stopped moving her hips, prioritizing my pleasure. I didn't like seeing her suffer, but my excitement was so intense that any other concerns faded into the background.
I simply lost myself in the oceanic eyes and hypnotic movements of that silver goddess who made me touch the sky for a few moments.
With a body experiencing the sexual act for the first time, I couldn't last long in those conditions.
"I'm going to..."
I tried to warn her, but she went ahead as if she wasn't afraid of the consequences. I mean, we live in a world where contraception doesn't exist, as far as I know.
"Don't hold back," Pandora urged me. "Give me everything."
That didn't sound like a great idea, but it was too late to be reasonable: my body began to release forcefully. I clenched my jaw and let it happen.
As she felt my warmth enter her, Pandora squeezed my shoulders tightly until I finished, then smiled and caressed her belly, as if she had achieved what she wanted. At that point, I wasn't clear-headed enough to notice her suspicious behavior: my mind was blank and the physical relief turned into a heavy drowsiness, so much so that my eyes began to close on their own.
I needed to rest.
"That was magnificent, my beloved... I must go now, but I leave a part of myself with you."
The last thing I heard was Pandora's sweet voice warming my ear with an enigmatic whisper.
"By the way, the next trials that await you will be a little different from usual. We'll meet again soon, perhaps when you've recovered two more soul fragments."