"Uh… what kind of clue is this?" Luffy's lips twitched. "I'll admit I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed… but Uncle Michael, you can't just treat me like a complete idiot."
"I'm being serious here… If I really wanted to mess with you, I'd have bought you sunflower seeds by now." Michael rolled his eyes, then reached out and pinched Luffy's cheek, stretching it out long.
"Look closely! Rust! What kind of normal rust just floats around in the wind like this? Doesn't it usually stick firmly to whatever's rusting?"
"Oh… oh yeah!"
"Now think—who's in charge of the entire defense layout of the Ship Country?"
"Uh… aside from Water Seven, which is under the direct supervision of the spy squad, the waters including the Ship Country are all under the unified jurisdiction of Enies Lobby…"
Luffy fluently recited the nearby defense mechanisms, all thanks to the mandatory education Michael had implemented within the Marine and the Revolutionary Army.
Anyone who wanted a promotion had to pass the cultural courses.
So even Luffy had a fairly decent level of education.
In fact, when it came to rote memorization, he was even better than most.
"Who's in charge of the Enies Lobby defense zone?"
"It's Vice Admiral Shu and Vice Admiral T-Bone from the SWORD Special Forces... Ah!" Luffy answered reflexively before suddenly exclaiming, his face lighting up with realization.
"Uncle Michael! Are you saying they were captured by Vice Admiral Shu!?"
"Do you have any other explanation?"
Michael sighed.
"But they've been missing for so long—they've probably already taken the Sea Train to Enies Lobby, right?"
"Ah... Then what should we do?" Luffy scratched his head. "Should I call Vice Admiral Shu with a Den Den Mushi and ask them to send the prisoners back?"
"Have you forgotten what we are right now!?" Michael flicked Luffy's forehead with his finger, sending his head flying out of the alley like a rubber ball before his neck snapped it back.
Of course, he hadn't used any Haki, so Luffy didn't feel a thing.
"We're pirates," Luffy nodded belatedly. "But I've never heard of pirates attacking Enies Lobby... That's suicidal, isn't it?"
"Well, starting today, you will."
Seeing Michael's sly grin, Luffy's expression shifted from confusion to shock.
He realized...
Uncle Michael was dead serious!
...
"Ladies! Gents! Our new crewmate has been kidnapped by that wicked Vice Admiral Shu from the Angel Alliance!"
"At this point, I no longer care about right or wrong!"
"Everyone! Follow me to Enies Lobby! We're getting them back!"
Standing at the ship's bow, Michael passionately declared his decision to the Old Geezers Pirates.
It looked like some kind of hyped-up MLM rally.
On stage, he performed like a sober man among drunks—exaggerated and deliberate.
Below, rows of old men sat waiting, ready to collect their free pound of eggs after he finished rambling.
"Uh, I don't really have any objections..." As the only man among the old-timers who had actually been a pirate before, Rocks finally raised his hand under the others' prompting.
"But could you at least explain what's going on? Even if we're causing trouble, we should know how to do it, right?"
"Didn't I just say? Our new crewmate was captured by Vice Admiral Shu from Enies Lobby."
"If I recall correctly, Shu is your direct subordinate... Couldn't you just call him with a Den Den Mushi?" Rocks twitched his lips.
Back when he was a pirate, he'd been pretty reckless too, often acting on impulse...
But never to this extent!
"Don't meddle in leadership matters, you old man who only cares about gardening! Or I'll rip out your flowers!"
"...You'd take my lifeblood!?"
"...Damn, that phrasing is all kinds of wrong! Even though you joined the Angel Alliance late, you can't slack off on cultural studies!"
"What does this have to do with cultural studies?!" Rocks slapped his thigh. "You're about to pluck my flowers!"
With that, he made a move to charge at Michael for a fight.
Only then did the old geezers pretend to intervene, holding Rocks back.
"Calm down, old Rocks. Don't get worked up over Michael... Others in the Angel Alliance might give us old folks some face, but this bastard has no concept of respecting elders... He'd genuinely beat up an old man if he saw one!"
Garp winked exaggeratedly at Rocks.
Meanwhile, Michael shamelessly nodded in agreement:
"Big Cannon Garp's right, Rocks. Haven't you worked with me before? Eight hundred years ago, did I hold back against those Lunarian and Bucaneer elders who were over a hundred years old? Don't you know my nickname—the Elder Killer?"
After saying this, Michael waved at Nami.
"Enough talk! Let's move out! Destination: Enies Lobby! We're rescuing our comrades, kora!"
"Yeah, yeah..."
Nami responded helplessly before slipping into the cockpit.
...
"Achoo!"
Shu suddenly sneezed.
Then he looked at the trio sitting in the office.
"Do you realize the World Government has been searching for ways to control the Red Hair Pirates? Isn't it reckless for you to appear so openly in the Ship Country alone?"
"While I appreciate your concern... aren't you a vice admiral of the Angel Alliance? Why protect us?" Uta frowned, utterly confused.
"As Shanks' daughter, shouldn't you at least understand your own pirate crew's special circumstances before setting sail?" Shu rubbed his temples—a habit he'd picked up from Michael.
"Like I said, not everyone eyeing the Red Hair Pirates is as decent as the Angel Alliance..."
"But we're not part of the Red Hair Pirates now!" Usopp suddenly raised his hand. "We're with the Old Geezers Pirates, under the Golden Thief!"
"Old Geezers Pirates? Golden Thief?" Shu furrowed his brows. "A newly risen pirate crew?"
"Forgive his ignorance—he's been slacking on the news lately." The office door swung open as T-Bone entered, sword on his back.
He nodded at the trio before explaining to Shu, "They're a newly formed crew. Their captain's first bounty was set at a staggering 350 million berries..."
T-Bone trailed off, realizing no one in the office reacted.
He coughed twice, trying to break the awkward silence...
Uta & Usopp & Kaya: "ZOMBIE!!!"