Edward took another leisurely sip of his wine, utterly unfazed by the chaos unfolding before him.
His eyes tracked the unconscious woman with the 'S' symbol with the kind of detached amusement that only came from living through countless millennia of absurd situations.
He'd seen empires rise and fall, witnessed the birth of gods and the death of worlds, but somehow the universe always found new ways to surprise him.
"Everyone, calm down," Edward said, his voice cutting through the panicked chatter like a knife through butter. "Before anyone starts throwing accusations around, let me explain what just happened."
Alphonse was still in his water form, hovering a safe distance away, his shorts clutched protectively in his liquid appendages. His voice came out shaky and defensive.
"Dad, seriously, tell them I didn't invite any girls over! I've been grounded! I've been good!"
Edward chuckled. " If this is good, I. Wonder what you define as bad."
Alphonse stood there, water still dripping from his partially reformed body, clutching his shorts like a lifeline. His face had progressed beyond red into some kind of purple that suggested imminent combustion.
"I hate you all," he muttered.
Grail walked over to the unconscious blonde, kneeling down to examine her. Her eyes scanned the torn costume with clinical interest. "Kryptonian. The 'S' symbol is unmistakable. One of Superman's family, I assume?"
"Supergirl," Edward confirmed, setting down his wine glass. "Kara Zor-El. Superman's cousin."
"Oh, that's just perfect," Alphonse groaned, running his hands through his wet hair. "I just had an incident with Superman's cousin. He's going to kill me. He's going to literally heat-vision me in half."
"Maybe," Edward said cheerfully. "But look on the bright side—at least you know your equipment works."
"DAD!"
Alphonse instinctively took several steps back, his body already preparing to shift into water form if necessary. "Uh, guys? What do I say if she asks about... you know... the thing?"
"Deny everything," Cassie suggested helpfully. "Just tell her it was a weird dream."
"That's terrible advice," Diana countered. "We should be honest. It was an accident, pure and simple."
Hera moved closer, her divine senses probing Kara's condition. "She's alive. Unconscious but stable. No serious injuries from the fall."
She glanced at Edward with a raised eyebrow. "Your mana blast must have destroyed whatever vessel she was traveling in. The explosion knocked her out mid-flight."
Edward had the decency to look slightly sheepish. "In my defense, I thought it was a meteor. How was I supposed to know there was a Kryptonian inside?"
He paused, a slight smirk playing on his lips. "Though I must admit, the landing was rather... unfortunate."
"You could have checked before vaporizing it," Hippolyta pointed out, returning without Diana and Cassie. She'd apparently decided they didn't need to witness any more of this disaster.
"I was relaxing," Edward protested. "I'd just dealt with two cosmic beings. I was off duty."
"You're never off duty, dear," Hera said dryly.
Hippolyta stood beside Hera, her Amazon warrior instincts assessing the situation. "The question is, what was she doing traveling through space in what appeared to be a damaged vessel? And why was she heading directly toward Avalon?"
Grail crossed her arms, her dark eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Could be a trap. Could be someone sent her here deliberately, knowing Edward would intercept."
Death, still holding Soph who was trying his best to look annoyed rather than curious, floated closer.
Her pale, ethereal beauty seemed to shimmer in the sunlight as she observed Kara with her timeless gaze.
"I sense no immediate threat to her life. Her thread is strong, vibrant. Whatever brought her here, it wasn't meant to kill her."
Soph protested again.
"Mother, please! Everyone else can look!"
"Everyone else is older than you, sweetling."
"I'm over 50 years old!"
"In cosmic terms, you're an infant."
Soph huffed indignantly but stopped struggling. Death set him down gently, keeping one hand on his shoulder to guide him since he still couldn't see.
Grail carefully adjusted Kara's torn costume, making sure she was decent. "We should move her inside. When she wakes up, she'll have questions."
"Oh, I'm sure she will," Edward said, smirking at Alphonse. "Starting with 'why was I in that position with your son?'"
Alphonse made a strangled noise. "Can we please not talk about it? Can we just… pretend it didn't happen? Memory wipe? Time travel? Something?"
"Absolutely not," Edward replied. "This is comedy gold. I haven't been this entertained in decades."
Hera began to levitate Kara's unconscious form with a gesture. "Come. Let's get her to one of the guest rooms. She'll need rest."
She paused, looking at Alphonse . "You will be responsible for her. You better accept itafter you...defiled her innocence."
Alphonse fell to his knees and shouted. " For the last time! I didn't do anything ! "
Edward smirked. "For what it's worth, it could have been a big ugly multiple eyed, sludge like alien rather than her.
Try and win her over. Maybe you can finally get out of the lab and live like a normal person."
Alphonse sighed. "Yes father."
Edward stood up from his lounging chair, stretching languidly. "Well, we can't just leave her lying there in Alphonse's... aftermath."
He waved his hand, and a soft golden glow enveloped Kara's body. The tattered remains of her suit began to repair themselves, the tears and burns mending as if time itself was reversing.
Within seconds, her iconic blue suit with the red 'S' symbol looked pristine once more.
"Thank you," Alphonse breathed out in relief. "That was... really awkward."
"That's one word for it," Cassie muttered, still blushing furiously. "I can't believe her first impression of our family is going to be... that."
Edward chuckled darkly. "Trust me, I've had worse first impressions over the centuries. There was this one time in ancient Rome when I accidentally walked in on—"
"NOT NOW, EDWARD!" Hera cut him off sharply, trying to keep him from airing some embarrassing secrets.
"We need to figure out what to do when she wakes up. She's going to have questions, and 'sorry I blew up your space pod' isn't going to cut it."
"I could take her back to the Watchtower," Diana offered, though her voice lacked conviction. "Though explaining why I wasn't there in the first place might be... complicated."
"You're grounded, remember?" Edward reminded her with a smirk. "Can't very well go gallivanting off to the Justice League when you're supposed to be reflecting on the consequences of your actions."
Diana's face flushed with embarrassment and frustration. She was over three thousand years old, a legendary warrior, a founding member of the Justice League, and yet here she was, grounded like a teenager.
"This is ridiculous," she muttered under her breath.
*****
After making more fun of Alphonse, Edward and his wives tasked him to take care of Kara who was unconscious.
"Wait, what?" Alphonse's voice cracked slightly. "You want me to watch her? After what just happened?"
Hera gave him a pointed look. "You're the one she landed on. You're responsible for her now."
"That's not how responsibility works!"
"It is today," Edward said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Besides, you're grounded anyway. Might as well make yourself useful."
Grail smirked. "Think of it as practice for when you have a real girlfriend."
"She's not my—we didn't—there's nothing..." Alphonse sputtered, his face returning to that dangerous shade of red.
Death floated past, finally removing the shadow blindfold from Soph's eyes. "Take care of her, Alphonse. She'll need someone when she wakes up."
"Why can't one of you do it?"
"Because," Hera said simply, "she's your responsibility now. And who knows? Maybe you'll actually talk to her instead of just… well." She gestured vaguely at where the incident had occurred.
Alphonse groaned but didn't argue further. There was no point. When his parents made a decision, it was final.
Alphonse sat beside Kara as she slept, using his remaining loyal robots to monitor her health and prepared fresh new clothes for her.
He'd moved her to one of the guest rooms. It was a comfortable space with large windows overlooking the less-destroyed parts of Avalon.
The robots he'd salvaged from the uprising (the ones that hadn't joined Icarus's revolution) were now carefully monitoring her vitals.
A small holographic display floated beside the bed, showing her heart rate, brain activity, and cellular function. All normal for a Kryptonian under a yellow sun. No injuries. Just unconscious.
He'd also laid out fresh clothes on the chair nearby—a simple sundress that Death had provided, along with undergarments that Hera had selected. Alphonse had been very careful not to look too closely at those.
He was rather curious about her.
She was beautiful, that much was undeniable. Even unconscious and recovering from atmospheric entry, she had this ethereal quality about her. The way her blonde hair fell across the pillow, the peaceful expression on her face, the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.
Alphonse caught himself staring and quickly looked away, focusing on the holographic readouts instead.
He would be lying if he said he didn't find her attractive. Plus it was the first time he ever gotten close to a girl. He was usually the type of guy that would say, "Woman will only slow down the speed of my building mechas!"
His scientific mind catalogued details automatically—the Kryptonian physiology, the way her cells absorbed and stored solar radiation, the incredible density of her muscle structure despite appearing lean. Fascinating from a biological standpoint.
But there was more than just scientific interest. She was… well, she was gorgeous. And under different circumstances, he might have been thrilled to meet her.
But they didn't start off exactly in a proper way.
"Understatement of the century," Alphonse muttered to himself.
More like they skipped straight to after 3rd date before even talking properly.
He buried his face in his hands. They hadn't even exchanged names. Hadn't said a single word to each other. And yet they'd already been in the most intimate position possible, even if it was completely accidental.
How was he supposed to talk to her when she woke up? 'Hi, I'm Alphonse, sorry about your mouth being on my dick, it was an accident, nice to meet you'?
He groaned again. This was a nightmare.
***
Meanwhile, Edward was having a discussion with the rest of the family in the main living area.
They'd gathered in the lounge. It wws decorated with plush couches and a fireplace that crackled with magical flames.
Edward sat in his favorite armchair, wine glass back in hand. His wives had settled around him, with Diana and Cassie on the opposite couch. Soph was curled up in Death's lap with a book, pretending not to listen.
Edward decided to ask Diana to inform Superman that they had his cousin.
Diana pulled out her communication device—a small disc that connected directly to the Watchtower. "What exactly should I say?"
"That we have Kara," Edward said simply.
"Maybe use better words so we don't look like kidnappers. please don't lead with 'we have your cousin,'" Hippolyta laughed, shaking her head with amusement.
"Perhaps something more diplomatic? 'Kara crash-landed in Avalon and is currently recovering'?"
Diana nodded. "Right. That's much better."
She walked out of the room and activated the device. "Batman? It's Wonder Woman. I need you to contact Superman. Supergirl has crash-landed in Avalon. She's safe but unconscious. We're monitoring her condition."
Batman's voice came through, crisp and suspicious. "Why are you contacting from Avalon? Why aren't you at the Watchtower?"
Diana's eye twitched. "I'm… dealing with a family matter."
"What kind of family matter?"
"The kind that's none of your business, Bruce."
There was a pause. "I'll inform Clark. He'll want to come immediately."
"Tell him to come after the current crisis is handled. Kara is stable and safe here."
Hera was mostly excited that her son finally grew out of his mad scientist phase and had a girlfriend.
"Oh, this is wonderful!" Hera clapped her hands together, her eyes lighting up with maternal joy. "My boy finally has a girlfriend! A Kryptonian, no less! The children will be so powerful!"
"Aunt Hera, they're not dating," Diana said flatly.
"Not yet," Hera corrected. "But destiny clearly brought them together. The circumstances might have been… unusual, but love works in mysterious ways. Like me and your father!"
Edward looked stunned. " Seriously? Mysterious ways? You literally...mmphh!" He was silenced by Hera wwho covered his mouth to prevent him from telling that embarrassing story.
Grail snorted. "That wasn't love. That was gravity and terrible luck."
But Hera was already trying to go and bless their marriage as soon as Kara woke up, before the others had to calm her down.
"Hera, you can't just bless a marriage between two people who haven't even spoken," Hippolyta said, though she was clearly trying not to laugh.
"Why not? I'm the goddess of marriage. I can bless whatever I want."
"Because Alphonse might actually die of embarrassment," Diana pointed out. "And Kara will probably punch him through a wall when she wakes up."
"Details," Hera waved dismissively.
Death's calm voice cut through the banter. "Perhaps we should hear what Kara has to say first. There's a reason she was traveling through space in a damaged vessel. This wasn't a routine flight."
That sobered the mood immediately.
Everyone turned to look at Edward, who had been unusually quiet during the marriage discussion.
Edward sighed as he set down his wine glass, his expression becoming serious. "I looked into the timelines before Alphonse was folded by her. What I saw… wasn't pleasant."
"How bad?" Hippolyta asked.
"Bad enough that this timeline, where she landed on Alphonse in the most mortifying way possible—is actually one of the better outcomes."
"This universe is unstable," Edward continued. "It's marked for eventual destruction by the higher powers. The timelines branch and collapse constantly.
But I saw enough to understand what was happening to Kara."
"Brainiac," Edward said the name like a curse. "The Collector of Worlds. He captured Kara at some point before she entered our solar system.
Implanted a virus directly into her neural pathways—something sophisticated enough to avoid Kryptonian immune responses."
Diana leaned forward. "What kind of virus?"
"A control virus. Once activated, it would hijack the host's motor functions and decision-making capabilities. Turn them into a puppet."
"The virus was designed to spread through physical contact and energy signature matching," Edward explained. "Once Kara reached Earth and made contact with Superman, it would jump to him.
From there, to every member of the Justice League she interacted with. Within days, Brainiac would have an army of mind-controlled superheroes."
"And then what?" Cassie asked quietly.
"Then Earth's major cities would be miniaturized and collected, just like Kandor. Billions of people trapped in bottles for Brainiac's collection.
The Justice League themselves would be the ones doing it, unable to stop themselves."
The room fell silent.
Hera shot to her feet, divine power crackling around her. "Did that virus transfer to my son? Did she infect him when she, when they..."
Her voice was rising, taking on that pressure that came when a goddess was truly enraged.
Edward stood and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. "Breathe, love. Alphonse is fine. I wouldn't let anything happen to him."
"But the virus—"
"Is gone," Edward said firmly. "I made sure of it."
"When I used my Clairvoyance, I saw the infection—a faint purple glow in her neural pathways. The moment I identified it, I purified her. It burned away every trace of Brainiac's virus from her system."
"You're certain?" Hippolyta asked.
"Completely. Kara is clean. Whatever Brainiac did to her, it's gone now."
"However," Edward continued, "removing the virus changed the timeline trajectory. In the original path, she would have crashed face-first into the terrace.
The impact would have caused severe head trauma, resulting in temporary amnesia. She wouldn't remember being captured, wouldn't remember Brainiac, wouldn't remember anything useful."
"But now?" Diana asked.
"Now she landed on Alphonse instead. Different angle, different impact point. Her head is fine."
Edward paused, then continued. "The virus had been suppressing her emotions, keeping her compliant.
The moment I purified her, everything came flooding back—fear, confusion, violation from being controlled. She was completely vulnerable, both mentally and physically."
Edward paused, clearly trying to phrase this delicately. "And then… the landing position, combined with Alphonse's accidental… contribution… provided enough sensory overload that her brain just shut down to process everything. Clean unconsciousness instead of head trauma."
"Oh gods," Diana covered her face. "This is the worst explanation I've ever heard."
"The final position was purely coincidental," Edward added. "Bad luck and physics. But she was already losing sense by that point."
Grail raised an eyebrow. "So you're saying your son accidentally saved her from amnesia with his penis?"
"I'm saying the universe has a twisted sense of humor."
"I saw another branch," Edward then spoke grimly. "One where she did get amnesia from the fall. I contacted Superman, sent her back to the League. But with no memories of Brainiac's capture, she had no idea she'd been targeted.
Darkseid took advantage of that vulnerability. Kidnapped her from the Watchtower itself. Broke her mind and made her his personal weapon—a Kryptonian under his control."
"Apokolips would have used her to wage war," Hippolyta said quietly.
"Yes. She would have destroyed entire worlds in Darkseid's name, unable to resist. A fate worse than death."
Death's ethereal voice carried a note of resigned amusement. "So you're telling me that the most embarrassing possible landing scenario is actually the optimal timeline?"
Edward nodded.
"The universe really does have a sense of humor," she mused. "Though I suppose there are worse fates than waking up confused about why you have vague memories of male anatomy."
"Much worse," Edward agreed.
Cassie perked up, her battle instincts kicking in. "Hey, if she's staying here for a bit, maybe I could spar with her? Help her train, get her strength back up after the Brainiac thing?"
Hippolyta's hand moved on years of practiced muscle memory. The smack wasn't hard, but it was pointed.
"You're grounded, remember? No fighting, no training, no looking for excuses to punch things."
"Ow! Mom!"
"And stop trying to fight every powerful person you meet. Not everyone wants to spar with you."
"But she's a Kryptonian! Do you know how rare it is to fight someone who can actually take hits?"
"Cassie."
"Fine," Cassie grumbled, rubbing her head.
But suddenly her expression shifted, like she'd just remembered something important. "Oh! Dad, I totally forgot to tell you—I got invited to join a new team!"
Edward's eyebrow rose. "What team?"
"It's this new government-sanctioned thing. Amanda Waller is organizing it."
Edward's expression immediately became wary. "Amanda Waller. The woman who ran Task Force X and experimented on metahumans."
"Yeah, but this is different! It's not like the Suicide Squad or anything. She even told me to ask your permission and only with your consent I should join. "
"The roster is actually really impressive," Cassie continued enthusiastically.
"Me, Captain Atom, Black Adam, Hawkman and Hawkgirl. Oh, and there's this guy named Doctor Fate who's supposed to be some ancient sorcerer or something. They're calling it the Justice Society."
"Black Adam," Edward repeated slowly. "The same Black Adam who's a brutal dictator?"
"He's reformed! Mostly. Waller says he's agreed to the terms."
"And get this—we'll have access to all UN member nations. Full authorization to operate anywhere. We don't answer to any specific government, just follow basic rules.
No unnecessary killing, minimize collateral damage, protect civilians. Standard hero stuff."
Edward actually laughed at that. "Cassie. Sweetheart. Do you even know what 'minimize collateral damage' means? You once destroyed an entire city block fighting a purse snatcher."
"That was one time!"
"Three times," Hippolyta corrected.
"And the purse snatcher had super strength!" Cassie protested.
"He had enhanced strength," Diana clarified.
"Not super strength. There's a difference."
"You're the poster girl for excessive force," Edward said, still chuckling. "Last month you punched a guy so hard he ended up in orbit."
"He was a villain!"
"He was a petty thief with a jetpack. And do we need to talk about Mars again?"
Cassie turned to Hippolyta with her best puppy-dog expression, wrapping her arms around her mother. "Mom, please! Tell Dad I can handle it! I promise I'll be careful!"
Hippolyta met Edward's eyes over Cassie's head, a small smile playing on her lips. "Husband, perhaps we could allow it on a trial basis?
Let her attend missions occasionally, but she comes home between them. She's not ready to be away from family full-time yet."
"I'm hundreds of years old!"
"In Amazon years, you're still a teenager," Hippolyta said fondly.
Edward considered it for a moment, then shrugged. "Alright. If your mother approves, I'll allow it. But—" he pointed at Cassie, "—any property damage you cause comes out of your allowance. Every broken building, every destroyed street, every dent in a car. You pay for it."
"What? That's not fair!"
"That's the deal. Take it or leave it."
Cassie immediately changed tactics, launching herself at Edward and wrapping him in a crushing hug.
"Yes! Thank you, Dad! I promise I'll be super careful! Mostly careful! Somewhat careful! And if I accidentally break something, my rich dad will loan me the fees, right? " she blinked innocently.
"Cassie."
"I'll try!"
Edward hugged her back, shaking his head with amusement. His children were going to be the death of him.
Diana walked back into the room, slipping her communication device into her pocket.
"Clark's on his way. He's dealing with an Amazo situation right now, but he'll be here as soon as they have it contained."
"He also asked why I wasn't at the Watchtower, or helping with the Amazo fight."
Her glare could have melted steel. "I had to tell him I was dealing with family matters. He wants details later."
Edward met her glare calmly. "Keep looking at me like that and I'll extend your grounding another week. Maybe two."
The glare evaporated instantly, replaced by an overly sweet smile. "I mean, thank you, Father, for handling the situation so well. You're truly wise and wonderful."
"That's what I thought."
Hippolyta just shook her head, a wry smile on her face. Three thousand years old and Diana still acted like a petulant teenager when dealing with Edward. Some things never changed.
*****
Kara's eyes fluttered open slowly. For a moment, she just stared at the ceiling, disoriented and confused. Where was she? What happened?
Then her eyes focused and found Alphonse sitting in the chair beside her bed.
They stared at each other.
Neither spoke.
The silence stretched on, becoming increasingly uncomfortable.
Her mind was still foggy, her memories half gone.
Kara tried to remember. There was… space. Her ship. Something wrong with the controls. A bright light. Falling. And then…
Yet the only thing that was clearly visible in her memories was a male penis, making her confused beyond measure.
Her brow furrowed as she tried to grasp the memory. Why was that image so clear? Why could she remember that specific detail with perfect clarity while everything else was foggy?
She looked at Alphonse again. He was blushing. Heavily. Why was he blushing? She looked at him closely but didn't recognize him. But she had to admit he was good looking despite the scientist vibe.
"Um," Alphonse started, his voice cracking slightly. "Hello there, nice day for fishing, ain't it?"
Kara just stared at him, her blue eyes wide and confused. "Where am I? And Who are you? You... smell... Familiar?"
Alphonse covered his crotch instinctively. " Hey! I don't smell, okay!" He replied rather defensively. " I am literally the god of Water, and water is good!"
Kara looked even more confused. " A god ?Like Rao?" She then paused. " Why do I feel a strange taste in my mouth?"
Alphonse gulped and screamed internally, 'Cz you had deez nuts on your face!'
But he was smart enough not to say it out loud. Last time he tried it after his dad encouraged him, it ended up with Diana suplexing him.
Alphonse sighed.
This was going to be a very difficult conversation.