That weekend with her sister did her more good than she thought it would. It gave her a very pleasant distraction from all that was going on in her life; work, her roommates, the meetings, Elmer...ELMER! For a few hours, she managed to rid her mind of all that, for a few hours, she managed to just be at peace without something eating away at the back of her mind.
On Monday during lunch, her phone buzzed with a reminder notification about the meeting later on in the day. For the first time, she found herself smiling and looking forward to the meeting, looking forward to seeing him again. That way he would stop existing just on her mind, that way, he would actually be there.
She got to the meeting fairly early, her hair damp again from the shower just before she left her place. Only three others were there, she muttered a quiet 'hi' to them and proceeded to the snack table where Mariam was finishing up setting the table.
"Sienna," she called softly with a smile.
"Hey Mariam," Sienna started, and busied her hands with nothing in particular.
"Good evening Sienna, pleasant of you to join us." Mariam responded, "How are you? How was your weekend?"
Sienna was silent for a moment as she let the events of the weekend replay on her mind, a grin formed on her lips.
"That good, huh?" Mariam teased setting the cups and teabags.
Before Sienna could respond, Dan joined them, holding his white box. "Hello ladies," he greeted in a very lively tone.
"Hey Dan," Mariam and Sienna replied as Sienna took the box and gently rested it next to the paper plates.
After the snack table, Sienna walked to the her usual spot by the window and sat. With her hoodie up, she got her phone and started scrolling, but every time she heard someone at the door, her eyes quickly shot up, thinking it was him.
Hoping it was him.
One, two, three, four people walked in, he was the fifth. Her body instantly turned stiff and she couldn't move a muscle. Because of that, she failed to look away like she usually would when he looked in her direction. He caught her staring at him, he stared back, for a brief moment. His gaze was plain, expressionless, he was giving nothing away and that instantly annoyed Sienna. Why couldn't she get a read off him? She certainly could read most if not everyone in the room, why not him? Why not Elmer?
He walked towards her, she shifted in her seat and her phone nearly slipped out of her hand but she managed to keep her composure.
"May I?" He asked in low a voice pointing at the seat next to Sienna and sat before she could respond.
It is only until then that Sienna noticed he had a scent, nothing too obvious, nothing too screaming. Subtle as it was, Sienna picked it up, she liked it.
"Hello Sienna," he spoke turning his head slightly to face her.
She could only hold the gaze for a mere second before she had to look away. "Hello," she replied, trying to keep her voice as steady as she could. Trying to mask the turmoil going on inside, it was chaos. She certainly felt the panic grown inside her, her heart beating faster, her body heating up. But despite all that, there was a hint of excitement, and disbelief that he was actually right next to her, and would be for the rest of the evening. She smiled to herself ever so slightly.
The room quickly filled up with many of the regulars; Martin was back after missing the meetings for a week, Sadie was present and so was Anne and other familiar faces.
Mariam took her seat at the centre of the semicircle with her clipboard and pen in hand. The script from her was the same, she welcomed everyone, said she was happy to see them all.
"Welcome back Martin, we missed you last week," she sighed and there were a few murmurs and eyes in Martin's direction. "Why don't you start us off Martin."
Martin shifted in his chair, cleared his throat, and as always tapped on his fading wedding ring as he spoke. He went on the longest of them all, thanks to him sharing almost all details of his time away.
The circle moved on and on and before she could realize, it was her turn.
"Sienna," Mariam called and the girl snapped out of whatever trance she was in. "Is there anything you wanna share with us today?"
She looked around and was met by expectant eyes, she looked to her right and he wasn't looking at her, which made things slightly better. She spoke. Very briefly.
Thirty minutes later, Mariam brought the meeting to an end. Once again thanking everyone for attending, thanking those who shared, reassuring the ones who didn't. They then broke off, a few heading straight for the exit, some engaging in low toned conversations, others at the snack table, excited to see what Dan had for them.
"You seemed distracted," Elmer suggested turning to Sienna who held her gaze on the snack table.
She had an idea of how she would react if she turned to face him and she didn't. She was bitter with herself for that.
"I got a lot on my mind," she said in a tone that was so dismissive that it surprised her.
Elmer didn't say anything, he exhaled audibly and got on his feet. "Have yourself a pleasant evening Sienna."
With that, he walked away and Sienna watched after him, she knew she had scared him off with her reply. Or more precisely, the tone of her voice when she said it.
Just as he stepped out the door, Sienna got on her feet and followed him out. Quickening her steps to catch up to him.
"Hey," she drawled now walking next to him. He turn his head and dropped his gaze to her. "I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to sound-"
He cut in, "You don't have to explain anything Sienna. We all have bad days," he returned with a concluding tone.
Sienna was taken aback by what he said and the tone he had used. Mostly because, no, she didn't have a bad day, it is he who made her like that. It is he who makes her get angry at herself. And it is because of her anger that she unconsciously used that tone. It was through a fault not of her own that she sounded like that.
She hated that he had just dismissed her like that, it made her angrier. She wanted to say that to him but she figured he would just dismiss her again. And so they walked out of the building in silence.
"Elmer," she called and he stopped and turned to her. "What are you doing here?"
That surprised her more than it did him.
"What are any of us doing here?" He returned and looked at her as she searched for a reply.
"No, I mean-" one again, he didn't let her finish.
"I'll see you around Sienna."
She stood there for longer than she should have, trying to process what had just happened. He had done it again.
Other members started streaming out of the building, others walking to their cars on the parking lot and others, Sienna included, took their routes home on foot.
She didn't know how she felt. Less than two minutes with him and already he had unsettled her, left her raw, restless, wanting.
It all infuriated her.
It thrilled her.
She couldn't wait to see him again.